Ten year old Kevin Barr stared at his mother's lifeless face, tears streaming down his cheeks. His father placed a shaking hand on his shoulder. The boy tore himself away to look at the man. Pain was creased on his face.

Mathew's voice cracked as he spoke softly, "it's going to be ok, son. Your mom is happy now."

"But why d-did she leave dad?"

Mr. Barr's heart broke more than he ever thought possible as he desperately tried to explain. "She, she felt like she couldn't escape the saddens inside her Kevin. She tried her best, but it, it was too much. She tried to fix it herself, but.."

Young Kevin remembered the cuts that were now hidden by makeup as his father tried to continue, "it won in the end son." Mathew felt broken as tears began to flow. my poor Michelle he thought, I miss you already

Young Kevin tried to understand what his father told him as they left the funeral home, he wouldn't until years later.

...

Edd cried out softly as he tried to pull his hand back. how could I forget my watch he thought. He'd been hiding his anguish well, or so he thought. Mournful green met terrified blue as Kevin held on, searching for answers.

"Edd, baby, please talk to me." Kevin pleaded, as tears streamed down.

Edd dropped his gaze. His mind was unraveling, just like his world. Kevin dropped his hand and gently cupped his face. Turning it to face his own, he tried to get his dork to open up. "Please, Edd, just tell me. I love you. I don't want to loose you too. please."

Edd looked at Kevin's bloody tear soaked face. Another black eye was already forming. It was too familiar. The genius felt something flip inside of him. Tearing his face from his boyfriend's calloused hands, he finally spiraled completely.

"I just can't deal with all this shit, Kevin." Edd all but yelled, "I don't know what to do anymore! Whenever things begin to go well in my life, all hell breaks loose. I feel like I'm slowly going insane. I love you dearly too, but I simply can't stand putting you through this all. It's all my fault and it's breaking me more and more every day."

Edd buried his face in his hands as sobs ripped through him. Kevin scooted closer to him, trying to keep his emotions in check, but failing miserably. The redhead put his arm around the raventte, but Edd shrank away.

Kevin leaned back defeated. His voice faltered as he said, "I-I can't begin to understand this Edd, I didn't when Ma was dealing with it either. I just want you to know I'm here for you, if you'll let me be. I love you. I will always love you, no matter what."

Edd slowly lifted his head and looked at Kevin. As his heart broke, he thought numbly, this is why I didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry that I'm such a screw up, Kevin." Edd said barely audible. you're too good for me

"You are not a screw up Edd, you've just had some really screwed up things happen to you. None of it is your fault. Don't ever think it is. please."

"I c-can't help it. Why would it happen again and again if it wasn't my fault? Answer me that."

Kevin sighed, "I can't, D. Bad things happen to good people."

Edd scoffed. "There is nothing good about me. I am a horrible person." Burying his head in his hands, he mumbled, "I don't know why you're even with me." Edd wept again.

Kevin quickly pulled Edd into a hug, ignoring the boys protests. Shushing him he said, "Edward Marion Vincent, I have loved you since I was fifteen, nothing will ever change that. That is why I'm with you."

Edd sobbed against Kevin's shoulder. The tears stained the redhead's tux, but he didn't care. He held the shell of his boyfriend as more tears flowed from his eyes, dampening Edd's beanie. I couldn't help ma he thought but I'll be dammned if I let the same thing happen to Edd

...

Marie saw the boys rush in. They looked like hell. Kevin and Edd weren't with them. The Kanker practically ran to meet them. something isn't right Catching Eddy's arm her eyes bore daggers into the shortest Ed.

"What the hell happened?" She growled.

Eddy tossed the girl off him, saying "your asshole of a cousin teamed up with Nikolas. They ambushed us in the parking lot." Marie was pissed.

"Where's Edd?"

The teen looked behind him, "I dunno." He said.

"THE HELL YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW!" Marie screamed. Nazz heard the commotion and rushed over.

"Dude, what's going on?"

Marie glared at the boys as she said, "they got in a fight with Mike and Nikolas and now they have no idea where Kevin and Edd are."

"What?!" The blonde bombshell was not happy.

"It's ok," Ed said cheerfully, "Double D and Kevin took Nat to the limo."

Everyone stared at the not so simple minded teen.

"Why didn't you say something before!" Marie said as she pushed her way past them. Ed looked hurt, but forgot about it as he followed everyone outside.

The police were just leaving, Nikolas and the three teens handcuffed in the back seat. Marie flung the limo door open as everyone followed close behind. The scene before her was heartbreaking.

Kevin held a shaking Edd. It was clear they had both been crying. Edd shot up as the door opened.

"M-Marie, hello." He said as he grabbed his sleeve between his thumb and forefinger. She just caught sight of the pink flesh underneath as the cul-de-sac caught up.

"Hey" she said tentatively, "are you ok?"

Edd felt ashamed as he said, "n-no not really."

"Move over." The Kanker said softly. The group piled in as the couple complied.

"What's wrong double D?" Ed asked sadly.

When the raventte didn't speak, Kevin said, "we are all here for you, D." can't you see that

"Yeah man, we love you." Nazz said, "tell us what's wrong?"

Edd felt himself shutting down again. He struggled against it as Nat stirred in the corner.

"There are waay too many people in herre." He said trying to sit up.

"Be quiet Goldberg," Eddy snapped a little too rudely.

"Harsh man."

"Sorry, just have a little problem right now." The wrestler said, worried.

Nat was still drunk but recognized Eddy's tone. Blinking he said slowly, "what's going on?"

"Don't know, Double Edd boy hasn't told us yet." Rolf said, his voice muffled from being squished against the door.

Nat joined everyone as they stared the two down.

Fight or flight filled Edd as he became very claustrophobic. there was too many people

"I-I" he couldn't say it, not with everyone there. He hid his face as another wave of tears came. Kevin rubbed circles on his back, trying to comfort him. It did little to alleviate the pain and humility Edd was feeling.

"Do you know why double D is upset, Kevin?" Ed asked sadly.

Kevin could only nod. "It's not my place to tell."

"Oh come on!" Marie said, anger filling her veins.

"He's right," Nat quipped from his corner.

Everyone but the lovers stared at him in exasperation. Nazz agreed, however saying, "maybe we should leave them alone for now?"

"Hell no!" Both Eddy and Marie said defiantly.

"Come on Eddy, let's go" Ed said, pulling the teens shirt.

"Let me go Ed!" Eddy said gruffly, "I'm not leav-" his words were cut off.

"I-I don't k-know if I want to be alive anymore," Edd whispered, simultaneously breaking all his friends hearts with his words.

"What do you mean?" Was said throughout the car.

Kevin did his best to wrap his are around the small teen. Edd fell into the strong arms, grateful for the support. his secret was out. The light never looked so far away.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

I know I'm hurting my own feel rn...