Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. It's tripping me out though because that are all the number three... Three is my lucky number I shit you not. Anyway, I haven't been up to par lately so you guys really cheered me up and inspired me to actually right more of this, thank you once again!

Lt. Lucky "Crow" Adair

Task Force 141

Fire Base Phoenix, Afghanistan

Journal 2

So… I am going to continue writing in this journal. Why? Shits been boring. I could be going out on missions with the guys now… But no… I had to be clumsy two days ago. Fuck my life. Oh, guess what I woke up to this morning. Did I really just ask a journal to guess? It's in pen too… So I can't erase that… Anyway… Ghost was leaning on my leg sleeping. Usually I'd knock some fucker off of me but he looked to comfortable, I just let him lay there. Alright, that's enough for today. Short and sweet. Like… like… Yeah... I'm not gonna write that.

The guys were on a mission so I had no one I really knew around and I didn't feel like talking to the others for the risk of being called 'that guy who fell.' No, it would really bother me… I just don't want to be known as that guy; being a ginger is enough. I guess I could hang out in the rec room and listen to music. With that I walked to the rec room quietly hoping no one was in there, and how lucky was I? No one was in there. I sat on the raggedy old brown couch putting my earbuds in.

The first song to come on was Like A Song by Lenka. A moment where I was glad I was alone… No one must know my playlist… It wasn't long before I dosed off from the soft voice. The words echoed in my head like a lullaby…'I can't forget you when you're gone. You're like a song that goes around in my head…'I stared at the ceiling with a sigh. My head began to hurt again but I didn't want to get up. 'And how I regret, it's been so long. Oh, what went wrong? Could it be something I said?'

I couldn't help but think of my ex. I hated her, but for a reason. The girl's name was Laila; she was a sweet and petite brunette girl. At least I thought she was sweet… I was just on the brink of proposing to her when I got the news that she was pregnant. Like any man I was happy… But she said it wasn't mine. When I was in Afghanistan she had been sleeping around; I wasn't interested in who it was, I could care less, but I felt betrayed. I loved this girl and she threw it in my face. Four days ago she came to see me, I was expecting a baby with her but she told me she aborted it as if it was to make me happy. But that's not why she came… She was just as desperate as me… She asked me if I was lonely and wanted someone to take care of me… I couldn't help it… I missed our intimate moments, but who was I to refuse a free fuck?

The song Love Hate Relationship by Trapt came on and I couldn't help but chuckle. "Thank you Trapt… You have succeeded in making me feel like shit…"

'I keep swinging with those moods
I keep crawling back to you
I know now that love is blind
Because you put that veil over my eyes
I'm addicted to your touch

You tear me down to build me up
I'm a sucker for this game
But it's all I want to play.

A little piece of heaven raising hell
Sex is just weapon that you use to possess
Keep me all to yourself

The more I feel the pleasure
The more I feel the pain
I'm in a love hate relationship too deep to escape
Every day is a gamble
That's the risk that I take
In a love hate relationship and you are to blame.'

"Ya talkin' to yourself, mate?" Someone walked up behind me, I jumped.

"No… Shit… Sorry… Dosed off a little."

"A little?" He smiled. "You practically almost had a heart attack when I spoke. The name is Toad."

"Crow." I smiled back. "Is everyone back?"

"Aye. They're getting debriefed right now and Ghost and… Shit what's his name? Um… Warm? Eh… Something like that, anyway, they're in Med Bay."

"Why?" Uh oh…

"Ghost got stabbed in the leg, nothing too bad. The other guy in his arm. Both minor but painful."

"Ouch… Which way is Med Bay?"

"FNG…" He chuckled and pointed. "Down that hall there and to the right."

"Thanks." I nodded then began walking. Upon reaching Med Bay I saw Ghost sitting on a table with a man stitching his upper thigh. He looked annoyed and in pain. "No drugs for the pain?" I smirked.

Ghost bit his lip to contain the pain. "He ran out…" He smirked back. "Don't judge me, mate."

"I fell off a small flight of stairs and got a concussion from it; you won't get any judging from me." I chuckled.

"Doc here can't stop giggling at my pain."

The medic gave a sadistic smile before sticking the needle back into his leg making him cringe. "So how'd you get stabbed?"

"Pushed Gary outta the way of a guy running up behind him."

"Wait… Then how'd he get your leg?"

"Tripped at the last second. Boy am I lucky."

"Alright, Ghost, you're done. Give it a week or two to heal because it was a nasty gash."

"So no missions… Fuck…"

"Welcome to my world…" I poked him. He gave me a strange look.

"Come on Lucky, let's go get drunk together." He jumped off the table before cringing a little. "Fuck… That hurt!"

"I wouldn't advise alcohol… It'll make you bleed more." The medic warned.

"I won't drink much than." He smiled back at the Medic. Then looked back at me with a smirk.

"…Where we going to get drunk… We can't just wander off base…"

"Tavy has a little stash in his office… And I know where it is. Mostly Whiskey. Good Whiskey. The man has taste."

With this plan that Ghost devised we had to think of a way to get him out of his office for a few minutes. "I got one… I'll ask him if he wants a smoke…"

"Easy enough… He'll probably do it. He likes Villa Clara…" He stopped a moment to think. "Meat has some."

"Alright! I'll be back! Must find my Meat!" I literally ran down the hall to Meat's room with a giant headache from running with a concussion, it wasn't smart on my part. I knocked on the door and put my ear to it because I heard a certain set of pipes. The man was listening to Celine Dion… and singing along… Holding in a laugh I knocked harder.

The door swung open. "What?"

"I can haz Villa Clara?" I gave him an innocent look.

"You smoke?"

"Cigarettes, but I'm willing to try something new…"

"Alright…" He went to his makeshift nightstand grabbed a long thin box. "These go down smooth." He gave me one.

"That's what she said." I smiled. He only glared at me. "Thank you."

"Oh… Lucky?"

"What?"

"You didn't hear anything did you?" He knew I heard but he was playing the 'I will hurt you' card.

"Not at all." I nodded and began to run again fully aware of what it does to me. I started walking as soon as I saw Ghost.

"Did you get it?"

"Yes… Among other things. I have gained knowledge of how shitty Meat's singing voice is."

"You too?" He chuckled. "Alright, let's do this. He's in his office."

I walked over MacTavish's door and knocked. "Come in."

I opened it quietly for some odd reason. I think I'm nervous… "Hey, Sir."

"Hello… Do you need something? I'm kind of busy…"

"Well… You do look stressed… Wanna go out for a smoke?" He looked up from his papers at me.

"It's like you read my mind… I was 'bout to go…" He nodded.

We walked out of his office and Ghost gave me a little eye signal to go to our room after. So… Team work. My old Captain would've been surprise with this, even if it was for this. We got outside and chose a plausible wall to lean on and I handed him the Villa Clara. I pulled out a cigarette. "I didn't know what you liked so I just got this."

"Well, you guess right." He smiled and pulled out a lighter to light my cigarette. "How's your head?"

"Still feels like shite. But at least my eyebrow is getting better… Gonna scar… But, eh, looks ace."

He smiled lighting his cigar. "That's what I said about this little number." He point to his scar.

"How'd you get it?"

"Shrapnel from an RPG blast." He chuckled, I wasn't sure why though. "I'm sorry, your face when very straight there."

"What?"

"It didn't blind that eye. It missed out of luck." He smiled. I understood what he meant first… I guess I just have the concussion face going.

"I understood you." I chuckled. "It's the concussion controlling me right now."

MacTavish nodded with a reassuring smile. He looked at his watch before throwing the butt of his cigar on the ground and stepping on it. I did the same. "Well… Good talk, Lucky. I'm goin' to get back to work."

I nodded. "Okay…" He walked in and I followed after him only to return to my room knowing Ghost would be there holding a bottle or two of Whiskey. Hopefully the plan worked. I walked into the room to see Ghost sitting on his bed with a bottle next to him. "Hey, you got it. Nice!"

"I also got shot glasses. Ready?" He smiled. "What do you want to do? It has to be a game."

"Never have I ever? Truth'n'lies? I don't know…" I wasn't too fond of drinking games; I just drank to get drunk…

"Truth'n'lies it is then." He smiled deviously. I was slightly confused. He poured us both a shot. "You first."

"Um… Alright, I've never snuck my Captain's alcohol before." We were sitting on the floor across from each other with the glasses right in front of us.

"Truth… I believe it… You don't look the part." He looked at me and smiled. "Drink."

With that I downed it with a simple twitch in my neck as I swallowed. "Your turn."

"…I liked being whipped by my ex-girlfriend..."

"Lie." I had a confident smile but it was wiped away as soon as he smirked shaking his head slowly.

"Wrong. Drink." He poured the whiskey into my glass. And I downed it. My chest was feeling warm inside and the pain from my head was subsiding. "Feeling all warm inside now?" He laughed.

"…Kinky. Didn't think of you as the kinky kind of guy."

"You shouldn't be thinkin' that in the first place." He smirked.

"Aye, but you said it first."

"Prying into my personal life now, are we?" He was still smirking. "Your turn."

"I'm not prying."

"Lie." Ghost smirked. He already knew me so well. I downed my shot. "My first kiss was a boy."

"…Lie?" What?

"Truth. But it was by accident."

"How is it an accident?" I smiled curiously.

"I played Seven Minutes in Heaven with a bunch of teenagers when I was 12… The bottle landed on a girl but when they put the blindfold on me and put me in the closet… They switched her with the only gay guy in the room…" The funny thing… My first kiss was a boy too. But mine wasn't an accident. I was 14 and I already knew that I was bisexual. I had a sexual and romantic attraction to both genders. I of course was a little shy about it so I hid it from everyone and I still continue keeping it private. "I'm not ashamed of it. I just don't tell it much."

"To give the equal share… My first kiss was a boy as well."

"Hah. No shit?"

"I shit you not… But mine wasn't by accident…"

"Ah… I get it now… That's why you stared at me taking my shirt off the other day. Isn't it?"

"I…I…" I began to blush.

"I don't care, mate. I'm not exactly the straightest of the bunch either."

"You're gay?"

"No, I'm bisexual." He stared at me and I felt my cheeks heating up a little. "Lucky… Can we keep this between us?"

"Of course. I don't let people know either… Until today…"

"Likewise." He stared at me for a moment. I had a feeling that now he knew my secret he was using it to his advantage to check me out… I could feel his eyes scanning me.

"…That doesn't give you a free pass to check me out now though."

"Ah, relax. I did that the first day you got here." He laughed.

"…I feel so… So violated…"

"Really?"

"No, just taking the piss… I too checked you out the first day."

He looked me in the eyes and smiled. "You know it kind of feels nice telling you that. It's like lifting a weight off my shoulders. The only other person who knows is Gary…"

"Yeah… Well we should probably stop this and hide the bottle… Archer and Roach are bound to come back soon."

"Alright." He smiled and stood up.

I grabbed the bottle and hid it in the cabinet that nobody used in the bathroom. When I turned around Gary was standing behind me. "Did he tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Yes…"

"So I presume you are too?"

"I'm not gay… Neither is he… Both bi. Just clarifying that."

"I knew you were from the day you watch him take his shirt off. That special little nervous eye contact you always get when someone attractive looks at you."

"…I'm guessing you are too?"

"No, strictly ladies." He smiled. "I just am a very accepting person. So… Do you like him?"

"Shut up, Gary." Ghost threw a shoe at him. "Don't bombard him with sudden acquisitions. Let the poor guy sleep."

"I know… I'm just curious… It'd be really cool if you two starte-"

"Shut the fuck up, Gary." Ghost interrupted him as he chuckled.