Disclaimer: Ahh…I want to but unfortunately I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!
A/N: Okay so here's the next chapter.
Before reading though:
1. "I like slash fanfictions."- verbal dialogues
2. 'I am obsessed with slash fanfictions' – internal dialogues
3. All the mistakes present in this chapter are mine, I will upload the beta edited version as soon as possible.
Enjoy!
Chapter 2
Epov
I still own my heart, which I know because it hurts so much - Emilie Autumn
Her eyes became wide as saucers, it was comical but it's difficult to laugh when your heart feels like heavy ice. Funny, after my transformation and those last three slow and painful beats I was sure that I would never feel that part of my anatomy, I think that the ever present emptiness in our hearts, is the perfect consequence to make us realize the significance of our actions, the accurate price for immortality, but today I can feel my heart, cause it's burning once again, because it hurts to admit that I will never have the one I love.
It feels like there is something heavy on my chest as I prepared to destroy myself with what I wanted to do.
However, I am determined, I will help him get everything he wants, and I will make sure he lives a long and happy life.
"Wh- what are you saying Edward?" She stuttered, after recovering from the initial shock, she is so normal and human.
"I asked you about your feeling for Jacob," I replied, maybe in a bit coldly.
She looked taken aback with my blunt attitude and unusual 'cold exterior', I instantly regretted talking to her like that and promised myself to not to repeat this ever again.
"Umm...I like him as a friend?" She said with an awkward smile. I wanted to tease and probe her for more, but I knew she would close up if I pushed her or made fun of her like that.
"Okay, If that's the case, then I can tell you the real reason why Jacob is avoiding you." I said.
"What? yo- you know why he's avoiding me?" She asked and with a slight nod I continued.
"Are you sure you want to know this?" I asked and in return got a hesitant nod, "I am warning you, after this I am sure everything between you and Jacob will change…" I said and I know, believe me, I know, just how dramatic I sounded right now, God, am I really turning into a dramatic teenager.
"Edward." She said with a calm expression and steady glare; see-she is behaving like my female version, a cute and innocent female version.
"Hey now, I was just giving you a warning, as your extraordinary boyfriend, it's my duty, you know, I have an image to maintain." I could see her lips twitching in response, after running my hands through my hair I continued, "Jacob is seeing a girl." I covered my mouth before she could suspect my smirk.
I wanted to click a picture of her facial expression, she looked like I had just kicked her puppy... Well, I just told her that someone stole her puppy… Dear Lord, high school is ruining me, I am sounding like a chic… urm girl. I looked up, and cherished my poker face; because internally I was laughing like a maniac. Poor girl, it was clear as day that she's in love with Jacob, why is she suppressing her feelings like that, maybe because of her lack of judgement with our relationship she's is not sure with her emotions, that's why my first obstacle is to make her realize her love for Jacob.
And one thing that everyone should know is that nothing matters to me when it comes to my loved ones, I will do anything to make them happy.
"Are you okay?" I asked her, I could see that she was about to cry.
"I- I am fine. I just remembered that I have a report to complete, thank you for telling me about Jacob… I was just being stupid, I can't believe it." She said while controlling her tears, I felt bad for doing this to her, but this was for her own good.
"How did you find out about this?" She asked.
"I bumped into him accidentally, the girl was with him, and out courtesy and curiosity, I shook her hands and found that she was there with him for a date. Later Jacob asked me to keep mum about this as he wants to tell you that personally." I lied smoothly.
"Oh…" was the only reply I got.
"Bella, please don't mention this in front of Jacob it's actually his place to tell you about her. That's why I am not telling you anything else about that girl of his." I am really impressed with her control, I can feel that she's hurting and on verge of crying, "I think, because of our history and his obvious crush on you, he is hiding his new 'love' interest, you know out of insecurity and embarrassment. Maybe he wanted to make a good first impression in front of that girl." I said with a mock pity on my face.
"I must say though, Jacob has a nice taste, that girl was really beautiful." I said and I could see the jealousy rolling out her I waves, even I was uncomfortable with the prospect of Jacob with someone else… how ridiculous is that, I mean I know Jacob isn't seeing anyone and still I am jealous.
"Don't worry, I will not say anything about this to anyone." She said and made her way to my door, sigh, I know she's hurt and probably will feel miserable, but I let her go, simply because she needs to figure this out and I can't think anything else that will work this great. This temporary pain will ensure her a happy future.
Now I will have to just deal with that stupid mutt… Hmm… I think I will need my little minx of a sister here.
I took out my phone and dialled her number, "Hey, Ally sis, I need your help." I said in a tone that I know she couldn't refuse, well; there are few perks when you are considered the family's baby boy. While this is embarrassing for me on many levels, I am not above using it to my advantage.
"Oh? I mean, how I can help my little Eddie pooh," calm down Edward you will have to do this.
"Actually, I wanted you to find out Jacob Black's personal contact number and Email address." I said.
"May I ask, Why?" She said in a strange tone.
I knew she would ask for the details before helping me, and I also know that I can trust her with my life, "I want to help Jacob and Bella." I said and no, there's nothing like solemn in my voice.
"You want to play matchmaker," she stated dryly.
"Stop acting like Rose, and yes, I want to help them." I said while clutching my T-shirt and biting my lips- another gifted attribute from Bella.
"Edward, you know I will help you, but please remember that you too have a life." She said softly and I can understand what's she saying here, but she isn't aware of the degree of hatred and hostility Jacob have against me, I really want him, an us, but I can't have what I want.
"Don't worry Ally cat I will be fine." I said, I am not sure about myself, but I don't want her to worry about me anymore than she does every day. My family, including Rose is very protective of me whether they show it or not. I know that everyone counting Carlisle and Esme, are worried about me. I don't know for sure, but I think that my parents somehow know about my situation… maybe I am just over-reacting, but they are guarding their thoughts from me for a while now. I can still extract information from their mind very easily, but I am above probing someone else's mind without their consent.
"Edward I- I want to just tell you that I am with you, you can always count on me in spite of any situation… Ok?" Alice said.
"I know and I am grateful for that." I said and I don't know why, but I just wanted to tell her everything, maybe because I can't handle all this without something steady by my side anymore or maybe because I want someone to keep me from breaking into pieces before completing this job. Whatever it is, I just want my sister by my side before clearing this hormonal mess.
"Ally, I want to tell you something, it's about me. And I want you to promise me first that no matter what, you will not share this with anyone, not even Jasper." I said in a pleading yet demanding manner.
"I promise not tell anyone Ed" came her sincere reply, so she knows something about it already, or else she would have forced me to talk more about it before promising.
"Thanks… How about doing this at the meadow?" I asked.
"I will be there, and don't worry, I will handle everything." She said. I thanked her again before ending the call; I am feeling nervous yet confident about it.
I know what I should be doing next, but still I am nervous about it, I can't decide whether it's a good or a bad idea. I know that it'll hurt a lot and I would have to betray people's trust while executing my plan I will have to do it- and really I am lying just to help them, it's for the right cause, sighing at my own ridiculousness I started running towards my meadow.
Yes, it's true that I am not happy with this damned existence, but I can't deny that I love running, I am faster than most of the vampires, maybe I am the fastest vampire on earth but I can't say that for sure. My speed is the only thing I love about myself. Before I could think any further I saw Alice sitting in the middle of my beautiful meadow, I was surprised to see her here before me, I mean how can she reach here before me. I was still mulling over the fact when she turned towards me and touched her mind. I was confused at first, but before I could ask anything, it clicked - of course, how I could forget; my sis here is a seer after all. With that, we both started chuckling at my stupidity.
"You know with your high IQ and 'I am smart' talks, you are very slow sometimes." She said while throwing an annoying and superior smirk at me.
"What? It's just that my mind is occupied right now." I said defensively.
"And why is that?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, she definitely knows something.
"You tell me first." I replied with crossed arms and as much authority I could muster.
"Sigh, I saw you asking me to come here, and then your future became hazy so I know it's related to those dogs." She was weighing my response, "Edward you know after you told us about breaking up with Bella, you looked pained, happy, and dare I say relieved at the same time. I have also noticed your open display of emotions" I interrupted her with my confused look and she frowned at me openly before continuing, "remember that day when we were talking about those dogs the other day you actually growled when Emmett joked about killing Jacob." She said while I cursed myself for making a mistake that obvious, I can't do such things if I want to keep my feelings for him a secret, but then again Alice is very close to me and it's natural that she noticed such reactions and other changes in my behavior.
"I know I was somewhat blind about Bella, but that doesn't mean I don't know you Edward, you are my best friend, one of my closest family member… my brother," she said sadly, "I am still sorry for not noticing the changes Edward, I should have noticed the change in your future." She looked so sad that I wanted to smack myself for making her say and feel those things.
"It wasn't your fault Ally, it was me who took my sheer obsession for love, it was my entire fault," I wanted to continue, but grew quiet with Alice's 'shut up or I will smack you' stare.
"Stop that bullshit Edward!" she said harshly and I flinched because of her sudden fury, and probably because of my reaction she relaxed her stance instantly, after giving me a guilty smile she continued, "It wasn't completely your fault and if you don't want me to smack the hell out of you, better start talking right this instant." She said in a deadly voice and I am wise enough to not to question her patience. I still remember Emmett's painful groans after he hid one of Alice's favourite shoes as a prank. Emmett never tried anything like that again.
"I- I am in… I think Jacob's my mate," with an irritated sigh, she narrowed her eyes at me, "I mean I am sure that he is my destined mate." I already knew that, but confessing it so openly in front of someone else- specially in front of Alice, my family.
Felt so good and exhilarating.
With an appreciative smile and happy eyes Alice started, "When you said you don't love Bella anymore, I knew there was more behind your decision than sudden realization." She finished and gave me another loving smile. I should have told her in the beginning, but I was not sure at that time.
"I am sorry, I know I should have told you before, but I was just too shocked with all the proceedings that I just kept all the things closed. It was easy and bearable that way." I said with pleading eyes.
"I know Ed, and I am sorry too. As your sister I should have supported you instead of dissecting your decisions." Light smell of sunshine and small arms of my big sister surrounded me- it felt nice and safe.
"Okay now, if you can then please explain the reason behind your stupid sacrifice, I swear Ed you are a masochist." She said in a taunting tone while I bristled, sigh, I know she means well, but- "Edward darling if you know that I mean well then you should listen to me more often." She said as she came back in her usual cheery- and creepy self. I swear she's a mind reader too.
"Ally I am doing this for the sake of my bond with him, you know I can't help but do what's best for him. You and I both know that Bella is best for him, they are in l-love with each other, but are hiding their feelings because both of them are dumb and stubborn-" I was interrupted by Alice's sarcastic scoff and internal 'just like you' and other not so kind comments. I pretended that I didn't hear her commentary and with a frustrated glare, completed my rudely interrupted sentence, "-humans."
With a hard glare and levelled tone Alice said, "Ed just to remind you, Jacob is anything but human, in fact, except for the fact that they defend humanity with a thumping heart they he is just like us feral and inhuman." She finished with her victory smirk, and I made sure to give her my best scowl.
'Awe, he looks so cute!' I huffed with disappointment and annoyance. Oh God, why is my sister so annoying?
"Come on Eddie pooh, you know I am just teasing ya." She said innocently.
'I wasn't lying though you are cute.' Argh! She's is just malicious an- and crude. 'Now- now, Ed stop pouting, it makes me want to pinch your cheeks. My little brother is just so cute' she snickered. She is teasing me on purpose.
"Stop it Alice you know I can't block you like that." I whined.-Yeah, while I can block all the other voices with ease, I can't block Alice that effectively. Maybe it's because of our close bond.
"Okay, so have you found the details I asked you about?" I asked for diverging her attention and my dignity. With a nod in she drew out a piece of paper with all the details about Jacob Black. I was grateful and thanked Alice for her efforts and she smiled.
'At least give it a chance Edward, you never know what will happen for sure without trying.' The whispered thought echoed in my mind before Alice disappeared completely.
After musing about all, the fact once more and making useless excuses for not calling Jacob, I finally told myself to man up and call him. It felt like eternity before the first ring and at the first ring, I was sure I heard my heart start beating once again, after the third ring, I was tempted to disconnect the call, forget about all the things and leave for Hawaii for a eternity long vacation, but just like the other times my fate has other plans:
"Hello!" A gruff voice answered from the other end.
All the air and rational thoughts left my body and I said the rashest thing in the history of vampire and probably human.
"I love you!" And after that I did the next most logical thing I could think of, I crushed the vexatious devise in my hand and threw it as far as possible. It took me a moment, but I realized that I just told Jacob Black, my secret love and mortal enemy that I love him and also that I am totally screwed.
"Fucking Hell!" I shouted while pulling my hair with all my anger and other suppressed emotion, there was this ache in my chest and I just wanted to curl up and cry out all of these raging emotions. But of course, I couldn't.
How was it?