Disclaimer: Ahh…I want to but unfortunately I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!

A/N: Hey! I know its been awhile but in my defense, I was stuck without my laptop with a shitty internet connection. But I am back!

Moving ahead I wanted to tell you guys that I am over the moon with the revies and along with regular updates of 'Repercussions' you might get another Jasper/Edward story.

Thank!

1.) CharmedForeverFan, Yukino76, and DaniGemSPN for your reviews and support! You guys are awesome and it just feels great to write after reading your comments and support. Love you all!

Chapter 4

Epov

"We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we are in love." - Sigmund Freud

One hour… it's been one hour since Bella left this place with a broken heart and to a brighter future. I know Jacob will make her happy and he will provide her everything she deserves. Other than a dull ache in my head, I am feeling nothing.

I don't know what to do anymore… I don't have anything to do. I don't have anyone, why am I even here?

Can I really do this? It was easy to plan things about Jacob and Bella, but I am not sure about anything now. I need to do this though, but I can't see her like this, and Jacob… he will probably kill me after that phone call blunder. Death, it's so appealing in this situation, but I know it's not an option, maybe later.

I need to control myself; maybe leaving Forks is really a good idea. Denali. Tanya, she will help me, she's really a great friend when she's not in one of her seduction stupors. I can manage to live there; maybe I can explore new places.

"I want to talk." I finally said.

Coming down to my room, I was aware of my family, who were all guarding their mind and sitting in what could be considered an apprehensive way. Emmet unconsciously blocked the main door, while Jasper was sitting in an attacking stance. They were all aware of my decision and I thought I was the telepath.

The moment I reached the center couch Carlisle and Esme were beside me, sitting in between them, I was reminded of my rebellious period. I can understand their desperation to hold onto their first-born son.

"Don't worry; I am just moving out for a few years, I will stay with Denali clan. I will come back after our next move." I said while embracing my panicked Mother.

"Why? I mean, why move suddenly like this? We can sort things with Bella and Jacob. Edward stops running from your problems." Alice said with a scowl.

"Alice, Yes, I am running, but only because I don't want to stay here and enjoy seeing my mate with someone else. It's difficult for me, I know I said that I will stay by their side and look after them, but I can't do it. And right now it's probably best for all of us if I leave for Denali. I promise I will try my best to overcome this, whatever it is and come back to all of you, I can't even imagine living, without my family so don't worry, it's just a phase." I said, more to myself than others.

"I think, I think Edward is right." It was Rosalie, people may think of her as someone who hates my guts, but she is also the one who knows me closely.

"But, baby how you will manage everything alone, without us," Esme said with glistening eyes, though it's impossible for a vampire but looking at her…

"Mom, don't worry, I am a big boy now," I said jokingly, that got a smile from her and of course teasing from Emmett.

"Okay, son, I trust you and your judgment," Carlisle said in a resigned voice. I am going to Alaska.

~oo0oo~

Snow, white and cold, many would say that ice is beautiful, but I say it's deadly. The sky is full of stars and I am currently surrounded by sharp wind, it's soothing to just lie down in the soft and cold snow and revel in the vibrations of different sounds coming from the forest. I was still enjoying the music around me when my heightened sense was jolted by the smell of a foreign predator; hmm… time to enjoy a meal. I was on my feet before thinking and my legs started moving towards the smell of fresh blood, aah… it feels so good to just let go of all the pretense and worries.

I was about to tackle the feasting bear when someone came in my area of prey… kill it.

Need to kill that intruder before it gets to my prey, that bear is mine, and mine alone. I was growling low in my chest, giving the intruder a warning before my attack. A female, stopping in a clearing I sniffed again… Tanya.

"Now- now Eddie, why so grouchy? Don't you love me?" Said a voice is a sultry way.

"Go away!" I snarled.

With that, Tanya entered the clearing in a black frilly dress, showing off her assets she started approaching me with gleaming eyes and a lazy smile.

I growled again, and then I saw a figure- me, with disheveled hairs, shredded clothes and bared teeth's that were glistening under the moon… a predator, a vampire.

Tanya was more than attracted to this unbarred demon. She was approaching me with naked desire. A moment and I was on my back, with her fierce lips on me, she was growling at my lack response. With her momentary slide, I grabbed her waist and reversed our position; she immediately locked her ankles around my waist and whined due to the lack of connection. There was no doubt that she is one the most beautiful girl I have seen, and to anyone else, having her like this would have been a dream, but for me, it did nothing other than dissolving all predatory haze I was in.

"What do you want Tanya?" I asked irritably.

She was still staring at me with half-lidded eyes and her cold breaths were tickling my lips, suddenly she raised herself and took my lips once again in her mouth, it wasn't… romantic, in fact, it was comforting. But all the while I was kissing her I couldn't help with the sick feeling of something wrong that was rising from the pit of my stomach. Stop it! It took me probably 2-3 seconds before I realized that I was panting clutching my chest about six meters away from my distraught friend, feeling like I have committed the biggest sin in the world.

I was panicking, I knew it was impossible to do so, but I was feeling like all these emotions will consume me, it felt like drowning underwater, dark and overwhelming, where there was no one around. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't do anything other than whimpering in a pathetic way, as a prisoner caged in a closed up cell. For the first time in my damned existence, I felt like I was dying.

I could feel Tanya's voice calling for me, but I just couldn't react, my body was betraying me, my whole system was protesting against me, they wanted me to suffer and I was suffering. It felt like an eternity, but finally, I started registering my surroundings, I was resting against Tanya, who was cradling me and muttering something, probably a prayer in her native language. It was surreal for me, her foreign words, I mean I was fluent in many languages, including hers, but right now, it was like a low hum confusing but comforting. It felt nice, I just wanted to curl up against her and cry, and so I just did. I was shaking violently with my loud and dry sobs, but Tanya only tightened her grip around me and kept rocking me slowly in her lap. I just cried, for my loss, ache and pain. I don't know how long I gripped onto her, but finally, I was quiet. The only thing that broke the silence around us was Tanya's voice.

"You found your mate." It was a statement rather than a question, but I still nodded weakly against her chest.

With a sigh, she motioned us to get up and I was about to untangle myself from her, but with a look, she grabbed my hand and ceased all my movements. And after a sudden crusade, I was cradled by a woman, who was shorter than me by 4 inches, talk about humiliation. I couldn't help but laugh at the image we were creating; I mean we were looking completely ridiculous. Tanya joined my laughter and it was then it clicked, she did this purposely. How I wish I could to have someone like her as my mate.

Sensing my gaze Tanya looked down, still smiling.

'What?'

"Nothing, just thinking about the way to get out of your clutches," I said with a mock horror on my face.

"Neveeer!" She shouted and started running toward Denali house still cradling me in her arm. We were both laughing hysterically as I tried futilely to squirm out her arms on the way. Sigh, I am in for a merciless teasing from the great Denali Coven.

~oo0oo~

While laughing at an animatedly dancing Tanya, I won't admit, but she is doing a rather impressive job at mimicking Michael Jackson but it's still funny when done with a piano. I am currently playing a pleasant piece because Tanya loves it when I play something for her, 'It's romantic' she would say when asked about it. But I know it's one of her ways of distracting me from my pain. Tanya too is a proficient piano player, but she exclaims that she doesn't stand a chance against me, but according to me, she's really good as a piano player.

After the clearing episode, as I like to call it, Tanya kept things normal between us. She still sometimes looks at me with longing when she thinks I am not paying attention but all in all she has backed off. And I can't believe how close we have got in just three months. It's been six months since I left Forks and while I am not exultant, I am good. Honestly, I can't think living here without Tanya though she's my stone. She's truly my best friend, I mean I am close to family, but they don't exactly know how living without a mate feels, Tanya gets me like that. We can understand and accompany each other unlike the mated couples around us.

Tanya is too the only unmated member of Denali coven, Carmen is with Eleazor, Kate is with Garret, even Irina has found someone, she is currently away with her mystery man, Tanya is a little upset with her for diapering like that but she's happy for her. So now, she's the only one who is single and miserable around happy and mated couples- just like me.

I was still playing the music when my phone went off.

'I will get it!'

I blinked in response; another thing that has developed between us is this easy conversation. Only Alice and I share this kind of bond…I don't know how Alice will react to this. Let's say Tanya is not someone Alice would share anything, especially if it's something close to her. Due to Tanya's adventurous nature and succubus abilities, poor Jasper suffered a great deal once when Alice found them embracing each other in a not so innocent way. I didn't realize I was chuckling until Tanya nudged me with a raised eyebrow.

"Jasper…" I uttered, and we both started laughing, recollecting the incident.

"Really, I never saw Jasper that scared again, he was like a deer caught in head lights," I choked out between my giggling fit.

"Hey, I loved how Pixie looked when she saw us together, I swear her eyeball was about to fall out of her sockets," Tanya said while sharing the exact memory with me, honestly, it did look like that. My jovial mood was shattered when I finally checked my mobile.

"What happened?" Tanya was by my side after she noticed the change in atmosphere.

"Victoria is back…" I stuttered

While Tanya cursed under her breath, the only thing I could think of was 'why god?'

Gah! I really just want our boys to kiss and makeup but they just won't listen to me!