Heeey Glad to be back with one more chapter for all of you to enjoy! I have one little note that I would like to make, before you read this: there was no David Clarke affair in this story. Victoria never cheated. (besides with Lydia lol). Anyway, this one came out really long and was a very emotional chapter for me to write and I hope you all like it and, please review, because this one means a lot to me…
Lydia woke up just before the sunrise. She felt a slight headache from all the drinking the night before. She turned to the side to get an aspirin on the night stand, but stopped. Victoria was sleeping beside her. She thought it was weird, because she recalled her leaving the night before. Even weirder, she was wearing a nightgown, not the party dress, and there was a suitcase by the bed on her side.
After getting up and taking her medicine, she covered her with the sheets. No matter the reason for all that, she'd wait until she woke up to ask.
-Good morning! – the blond said as she opened her eyes and saw Victoria awake, lying next to her. – What a nice surprise…
-Morning! – she smiled, before realizing Lydia had no idea why she was there – I need to explain all this! –she hurried, siting up, before Lydia could say anything else. – I would like to ask you if I could stay with you for a while… Last night, after I brought you home, I got back to the manor and I just couldn't stand being there anymore. I just wanted all the guests to leave, so I could run from there! I can't stand to be under the same roof as Conrad! He wouldn't accept going to the south fork in and-
-Victoria. – Lydia raised her hand stopping her. –Its ok. You don't need to talk me into this. I would love having you here. Besides… Anything to make up for the big embarrassment of last night. I'm so sorry about that. –she looked down, ashamed.
-Don't worry about it! –The brunette approached her, laying down again. They laid face-to-face, standing inches from each other. – That's in the past. And thank you so much for letting me move her for a while. – she caressed the blond's arm and held her hand.
Lydia smiled widely. No words could describe how happy she was that Victoria would be there living with her. It seemed almost like a dream. For the first time, she felt like she could kiss her, without worrying if she couldn't do it or that Victoria would go away and end everything. Her insecurities were finally set aside.
The blonde drew closer to her until their noses touched and, before she expected, Victoria's lips met hers, hungry for her. Never before they'd kissed each other with such intensity. They both felt completely free, without anything holding them back. Victoria remembered the moment she came back to Lydia's house the night before. When she saw her asleep, she felt completely safe, as if everything she was worried about would be fine. In her embrace, she felt a warmth her heart had longed for years, since she drew further apart from Conrad. Lydia had always been there for her, always supporting her through everything. On this moment, all the gratitude and tenderness she had for her, made her want to kiss her more.
Even though she did not understand where those feelings came from, then, she didn't care. Lydia was surprised at Victoria's attitude and couldn't help, but want more. Surrendering to her desire, she pulled Victoria on top of her and grabbed her hair on the back of her neck, as their mouths didn't part from each other.
Neither of them had ever experienced this sort of interaction with a woman before and they felt more excited at every second that passed.
As Lydia's hands traveled down alongside Victoria's body, the air became electric. Nothing else in the world seemed to exist but them. Until they heard a loud knock on the front door.
They stopped frozen. For a brief moment, Victoria wondered if the door was unlocked and if it was possible that someone would catch them in the act. She stood up nervous.
-Who do you think it is? –Lydia, sensing her nervousness, rose from the bed, straightening her clothes.
-I don't know. Stay here. –she put on a robe and made her way downstairs. She felt scared, as if whoever was knocking knew that Victoria was there and would find out what they were doing. Even though, she knew it was an irrational fear, because no one would get to that conclusion, based solemnly on that. They were definitely not ready to let anybody else know about them.
The knocks were still, insistently, loud on the door. With shaky hands, Lydia opened it.
-Lydia! I'm sorry to disturb you like this so early in the morning. I didn't know who else to recur to. – Conrad Grayson came inside, uninvited.
-W… What's wrong? –she turned to him, pretending to be completely oblivious to the situation of his relationship with Victoria.
-Please, tell me you know where Victoria is! We had a huge argument last night. I thought we could work things out today, but she isn't home…She isn't at the South Fork Inn or anywhere for that matter! She doesn't return my calls!–his voice was desperate and angry, as if he felt betrayed somehow. He walked nervously from side to side. –So I thought maybe she would be here or you'd know.
-I'm sorry, Conrad… I… I haven't seen her since last night!
-I can't believe this is happening… -he put his hand on his forehead, worried. He stopped walking and faced Lydia, his expression showing he was ready to tell her a secret. –She wants to leave me, Lydia.
-I… -she gasped. –I'm so sorry about that, Conrad! –she faked surprise. She felt awful for lying to him, even though he had been horrible to Victoria. A sting of guilt walled up in her heart. She'd been ignoring the fact that she was in love with a married woman and now her husband was in front of her, wondering where the hell she was. And she was on her bed. –What happened?
-I honestly don't know… -he lied, typically. Lydia never expected an honest answer when she asked that question. – I think she might be with somebody else. – He stated, serious. –She was too determined to end things with me… I don't understand this… It's the only explanation I can think of.
Lydia stood still, feeling trapped.
-I… don't know what to say, Conrad… I don't think she would do something like this…- but she was and it was with her. And she was listening to the whole conversation from the top of the stairs, secretly.
-I just need to talk to her! Can you, please, call her? –his pleading eyes made her heart ache.
-Of course. –she grabbed her phone and dialed Victoria's number. Logically, she ignored the call.-She's not answering, Conrad… Maybe she just went shopping to try to clear her mind. –she tried.
-You're probably right. I don't know why I'm so on the edge!
-Would you like a glass of water? –she offered, even if she desperately wanted him to leave. Her guilt spoke higher. He ignored her, continuing.
-You don't think she might be with someone else, Lydia? –She had to control herself not to shiver. –Isn't there any man, any name, she has mentioned to you?
-Conrad, there isn't anyone else… I highly doubt Victoria would do something like this. Just calm yourself and wait, she'll turn up soon. – she led him to the door.
-You're probably right. –he said, following her to the door. But, still, his insane jealousy would never leave him at ease. –Thank you. Please call me if you hear from her.
-Ok. I will. –she shut the door behind him and leaned on it, shutting her eyes.
-Oh god… Oh god… -she whispered repeatedly to herself, as anxiety grew bigger, compressing her chest. She held her hair, taking deep breaths trying to get calmer. She didn't even notice when Victoria entered the room and was startled when she felt the touch of her hand on her shoulder. –God!
- Are you ok? –the brunette said, seeing how bad she was. –I'm so sorry you had to go through this. –She put her arms around her tightly. Lydia pulled back, setting herself loose from her embrace. Victoria took a step back, surprised at her reaction.
–I'm not ok… -she felt breathless. - I had no idea what to say to him! It was awful lying like that to his face! How could we do this? I mean, we know he's cheated too, but…
-He doesn't deserve your compassion, Lydia. Don't forget the man Conrad is. –Lydia's fears and anxieties came rushing with full strength and all she could feel was guilt, mascaraing each one of them. It was the perfect excuse her subconscious created to get her out of this path she was too afraid to face.
-We can't do this, Victoria. It's not right.
-I… - Victoria's startled expression, suddenly, turned into an angry one. She knew what her best friend was really feeling. They had know each other for too long to be fooled. -Well, Lydia, you put yourself into this the moment you decided to kiss me! Did you forget that I was married? Why don't you admit that you guilt is not what is stopping you? Why don't you admit that you're scared, because since you started separating from Michael, you've been feeling completely disoriented, not really knowing how to live your life for yourself? Admit that, even though you feel bad about me cheating on Conrad with you, this is not what is making you want to give up on what we have. –seeing her surprised expression, she went on. –Yeah, I know you! Sometimes, I think I know you better than you know yourself!
The blond couldn't respond. Her cheeks turned red and her eyes filled up with tears. She was right about everything, but still, her words hurt, because she didn't want to admit any of this. She was sick of feeling fragile and she was afraid that, if she did, she would lose her strength and will to keep fighting.
-I just need you to go, please.
-Why? –The brunette replied. Her voice turning hoarse. - I'm not going anywhere.
-What are we doing, Victoria?! –the words falling loud out of her mouth, before she could contain them. The last thing she wanted was to fight, but she was falling apart. This was the conversation they'd been avoiding since everything started between them.
-Why do you want to talk about this? –she came closer. -I… - she wanted to say that she didn't know why and that it didn't matter, but she knew it wouldn't be true. She knew that deep down, this "relationship" was too different from everything she'd ever experienced and being with a woman was something entirely new.
She feared what could happen if somebody found out. But the thing she feared most was falling in love with her, because that would mean that, at some point, people would have to know, and she was too scared of that. She didn't want to be scared and she thought she shouldn't, but she was. And, because of that, she needed just to keep going, without wondering about these things. She hoped with all her heart that her courage would, eventually, beat them and that she'd grow careless about them.
-Victoria, we need to know where we are going with thi-
-We really don't, Lydia. –she held her hand, with tears in her eyes. –I care about you. You care about me. It's amazing when we are together and you're my best friend. When I'm with you… -her lips trembled, as tear rolled down her cheek. –I feel safe. –she whispered. – And that is all I want. I don't want to care about the rest! I don't want to think about the consequences. For the first time in my life, I don't want to know what is going to happen.
Lydia's heart felt calmer, hearing those words. She hugged her tightly, letting her cry. She was perfectly aware of how much strength Victoria had to pull to let go of wanting control. This wasn't something natural, let alone, easy for her. Besides, when she heard how much she actually felt for her, all her tension seemed to have faded. She smiled, aware that she wasn't as lonely as she thought she was.
-You're right. We've spent too much time in our lives miserable, putting our own will aside for so many different reasons… We need to be happy now. I want to be with you. –she lifted the brunette's chin up and kissed her. - Nothing else matters.