[ 10:47 AM ]
My schedule and Gavin's schedule only line up on one day of the week so we can only really hang out outside of work once a week, if we're both free. Gavin likes his free time just to goof off at home or go drinking the night before to sleep off his hangover when he's off. I knew today was one of those days since I heard it was super busy the other night from Marie. I didn't have another nightmare like the one from that night, but I needed to talk to someone about it. Marie would be concerned as all hell, which was fine, but I'd get really anxious since she'd overreact about the whole thing.
Eh, that was a little mean. No, it's okay that she cares a lot about me. But Gavin can keep a level head and probably help me do the same about the nightmares I've had.
"Y'ellooo, (_)! What's shakin'?"
I chuckled. He always has to answer the phone in some weird way, I love it so much.
"Hey, I know you're probably hungover or busy, but can we, y'know, talk?"
"Yeah, yeah, what's goin' on?"
"Well I had a really awful nightmare the other night. Like, really awful. Like one of those 'it was totally real' kind of awful."
"Ah, yikes. What went down?"
I told him everything that happened, which didn't take a long time since the dream was so short and ended so abruptly, but the details were what I had to really take time to explain.
"Wait, wait, wait. Okay, so you were surrounded in darkness and couldn't see anything, but..the darkness was moving? I don't get it."
"Well that's what I'm trying to explain. Like I know it doesn't make sense but it just felt like the space I was in was alive. Like nothing felt standstill."
"Ohh okay, I think I kinda get it now. ... Kinda."
"I just... I don't know what to do. I've been having terrible dreams but that one was the worst one. And that person in it is freaking me out even more. It literally sounded like they were right fucking next to me."
Gavin made a noise. "Yeah, that's creepy. Well, have you talked to your therapist about this? Have to talked to them at all recently?"
I admitted and gave him an honest no. My therapist is really sweet, an angel really, but I didn't want anyone to over-process my dreams and call them hallucinations because the last thing I was is to be on medication and be admitted to a ward. I'd probably lose my mind even more. Sure, I'm paranoid and anxious and see and hear weird stuff from time to time but...
No. No, I'm okay. I just..need to get some decent sleep is all.
"Maybe we should take a road trip down to Cali?"
Gavin's voice broke into my thoughts and I let out a soft gasp.
"Sorry, did I scare you?"
"It's not your fault, I was spacing out. A road trip, huh?"
"Yeah, like not for any specific reason. I mean maybe it'll clear your head up a bit. Marie would definitely give us the time off!"
Lucky for us, he was right. Gavin, Marie, and I have only been friends for maybe about a year but it felt like we've known each other since we were kids. Marie's the oldest of the both of us so she's always trying to take care of us and make sure we didn't miss meals and drank lots of water, stuff like that. I also haven't been on a vacation in a long time so maybe it would be a good idea. Gavin's got a car and enough money saved up for multiple trips (he's a smart fellow), so I better take advantage of his kindness now.
"Well let's get through the work week and then put in a request."
"Sounds good! Are you gonna be able to make it? I could plant the seed now, just let Marie know ahead of time so she can plan for coverage."
"Yeah, that's a good idea. She's always taking care of us so let's try to take care of her."
We both hung up after making our goodbyes and I laid back onto my bed and groaned. I know it hadn't been long since that dream happened but it was bugging the hell out of me. I've never had dreams like that before. I've never been so bothered by a dream. I've had some pretty disturbing ones before but this felt... I don't know, like whatever was trying to get to me chose me specifically, and that's what's scaring me.
Like it's...
Malicious.
"Personal."
I covered my mouth to try and cover a scream and got up so fast that I got dizzy. That wasn't my voice. That was...the exact same voice from the dream.
Christ.
Maybe I am hallucinating.
BZZ BZZ
I jolted away the vibration of my phone—god, this is probably the most on-edge I've ever been.
I glanced over at my phone and saw Marie's name. I reached over and answered and she was already scolding me. I'm assuming in the time that's passed, Gavin told her what I told him.
"Why didn't you tell me what was going on?! Why do you always tell Gavin everything?! I care too, y'know!"
"This was the reason why I didn't, I didn't want you to get upset and worry about—"
"Well now I'm even more worried! Look, I got Sam and Austin and they want hours so they can have a little more money for the holidays. I don't mind if you and Gavin wanna take time off."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, you both have worked enough hours for PTO. I don't know how many days, you'll have to look that up yourselves. I know Gavin's fine, but put the request in and I'll approve it."
As much as Marie's 'motherly concern' drove me mad sometimes, I really appreciated it. I don't mean to hide things from her, but she has a big heart and always puts her all on folks who have it hard. We both shared a few more words, though it was mostly her complaining about a specific customer that came in. They're always so picky about how they want their macchiato served and we keep telling them that we aren't Starbucks and macchiatos are served traditionally. We do serve it to them that way but there's either too much foam, too much milk, not enough milk, too hot, too cold. Y'know, the typical complaints.
We hung up and I set my phone on the chair next to my bed and got under the blankets. It wasn't even noon but I was more than ready to go back to sleep. The thought of sleep terrified me but maybe sleeping during the day would be okay. I work so early in the morning to set up and get ready for the day so if I decided to just pull an all nighter before going to work, I'm sure I'd be fine.
I started blinking slower, I could feel how heavy my eyelids were getting. I pressed the side button on my phone to see the time—11:14 AM—okay, not bad. I'm sure I'll wake up in a few hours. Maybe I'll cook dinner for once.
Maybe some pasta...
[ 11:15 AM ]
...with red sauce...
[ 11:16 AM ]
...or pesto...
[ 11:17 AM ]
[ 12:02 PM ]
[ 1:07 PM ]
[ 1:47 PM ]
..ake up...
No...
...Wake up...
Not again...
"Get up."
My eyes shot open and I knew I was back. I was back in this freezing cold, weird pitch black bubble. And that same voice was back from last time too. Again, I immediately started panicking but I did my best not to scream. I tried to stay as alert as I possibly could in an attempt to keep track of whoever—or whatever—was after me. But my sad attempt in confidence was quickly broken by ominous laughter that came from all around me and sounded like it was closing in.
I couldn't bear it.
It was making fun of me.
It knew I was trapped and couldn't get out.
Not going to scream this time?
No, I wouldn't let it get to me.
You think you have any power here?
It laughed again.
Not here, my dear. No.
I could feel my eyes burning.
This is my world, my domain.
I was starting to lose my breath. I was breathing so hard but now it feel like I'm suffocating.
And you're going to stay in here.
No...
With no chance of freedom.
No..!
"And I'm going to break you".
"NO!"
[ 7:15 PM ]
I could feel my eyes were open but I couldn't see anything. I wasn't in that darkness anymore, I could feel my bed under me. But...
I tried catching my breath. Screw being able to see, I was just glad to be able to breathe again. I closed my eyes and started to move my body. I tried stretching my fingers, my hands, repeatedly making a fist and undoing it. I moved my legs and feet around, but everything was so painful. It was like trying to move while trapped in freezing snow, it felt like I couldn't get my blood flowing.
But it was okay.
I'm in my room.
I'm safe.
I got out...
"Or did you?"