The Neutrino Entraptor

by Amalgam000

Six months after Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant, Admiral Janeway and her new Delta Quadrant Unit receive a cry for help from an unexpected source. To answer it, they must test out B'Elanna's groundbreaking but risky research, and in so doing, come to terms with the changes that have affected them since their return. A post-series story. Janeway/Chakotay Romance.

17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

There was a humming sound.

It was faint and familiar and Chakotay focused on it, trying to remember why he found it so soothing.

There was a slight pressure on his arm and he suddenly became aware of his body, his limbs, and then he knew what the sound was: Voyager's ventilation system and humming of consoles. He blinked his eyes open and closed them again when the sickbay's ceiling lights blinded him.

The slight weight on his arm lifted and went to his rest on his chest. He felt her presence hover nearby before he could get a whiff of her familiar scent. Kathryn.

"I see our patient is finally waking up." The Doctor. The slight pressure on his chest – Kathryn's hand, he now realized – retreated.

Chakotay blinked his eyes open again and winced when the Doctor flashed a light into his eyes.

"Good, good," the Doctor muttered as he moved on to scanning him with the tricorder. Once the bright spots that the Doctor's light had left in his vision faded, Chakotay didn't waste a moment before looking for her. He didn't have to search for long, she was still standing nearby, leaning on a console while the Doctor proceeded with his exam. Chakotay met her eyes and what he saw there – the hope, the concern, the relief – reassured him that it hadn't all been a dream. He moved his hand in her direction – it felt heavy, really heavy, why did it feel so heavy – and she strode back to his side and took it, folding his fingers around hers.

"We made it," he croaked. His voice sounded raspy, as if unused for too long.

She gave him a wry smile. "Did you ever doubt it?"

He gave a tired grin.

"How are you feeling, Captain?" The Doctor asked as he came to stand on the other side of him.

The feelings that he had come to associate with the entity were gone. As were Kathryn's. "I'm feeling… kind of lonely, actually."

Both the Doctor and Kathryn gave a smile, but hers was knowing. Understanding what he couldn't say in front of the Doctor. He was lonely without her vibrant feelings beating next to his own, with his own.

"We'll take that as a confirmation that the entity has indeed completely left your body," the Doctor commented.

"How…?"

"I'll let Admiral Janeway bring you up to speed," the Doctor said as he brought a cup of water and helped Chakotay drink from the straw. "But you went through quite an ordeal, Captain, so make sure you don't overexert yourself. I want you to stay here for the time being, where I can monitor your condition."

Chakotay nodded at the Doctor. He was still too tired to even consider getting up anyway.

Chakotay looked at Kathryn expectantly once the Doctor had disappeared into his work area.

"What's the last thing you remember?" She asked softly as she leaned over him, his hand still folded into hers.

The rush of her emotions, beautiful and powerful and overwhelming. The kiss. The taste of her lips, her breath hot against his chin when her lips parted, his fingers tangled into her hair. Her body against his. At last.

Was it wrong of him to bring that up now? He desperately wanted to, but now that they were back on Voyager, it felt inappropriate. Especially now that her hair was pinned up again and she had donned the Admiral uniform jacket that she had taken off while they'd been stuck in the Flyer. Kathryn was no longer just Kathryn, but Admiral Janeway as well. He had navigated this paradox for seven years, walking the line between friends and officers, but now that their feelings had been let out in the open, his old landmarks felt askew. He wasn't quite sure how to navigate this new reality.

"You gave me the sedative," he replied at last. "Things after that get blurry, just flashes of emotions, no sense of time, really. I remember the entity's presence, and trying to communicate with it. How did we get out?"

"You did it, I don't know how, but you were able to communicate with the entity, and tell it to let us help. How did you do it, Chakotay?" Her blatant curiosity was endearing and he smiled tiredly. Just keeping his eyes open was a constant struggle. But he couldn't succumb to sleep, not yet.

All he could remember were the feelings: the fear, the need, the instinctual desire to survive. "I don't know. I think, I think I merged with the entity, somehow. My body, everything around me, sort of just disappeared for a while, as if all of it was nothing but an illusion. I remember being scared, but I can't tell whether it's because I was conscious of this shift, or because I was feeling what it was feeling. What did I tell it to do? How did we get rid of it?"

She gave a wry smile. "Believe it or not, we went back to the Delta Quadrant for a while."

She told him about Icheb's hunch and how they were able to lure the entity back where it came from, and how it had come loose once the Entraptors were disengaged. Chakotay listened quietly, all the while taking in her features, the way her speech lit up her eyes. He was amazed at the story, at her courage, at B'Elanna's perseverance and Icheb's ingenuity. The sound of her voice was soothing, and soon he found himself struggling to stay awake. His eyes closed of their own volition.

Her voice halted and he felt her lean closer. "Chakotay," she whispered softly next to his ear.

"Hmm," was all he could manage.

"I'm in charge of helping the Talaxians deal with their situation, but I can't do it from the Deep Space station, so I have to go back to Earth soon. Before I go…" There was a pause, but then he felt her breath on his cheek as she leaned even closer to his face. "Tell me you meant what you said, and that it wasn't just the fever and the fear talking."

Chakotay managed to open his eyes to meet hers. "I think I was finally truly honest — with the both of us — for the first time in years," he breathed. He only had time to see her emotional smile before his eyes closed of their own volition again.

"Good." He felt her nose and lips graze his cheek before her lips touched the corner of his mouth softly. "I'll see you soon. Sweet dreams."

~o~

When Chakotay next awoke, Kathryn was gone and he could hear the Doctor hum to himself in the next room. Right. He vaguely recalled her saying she needed to go back to Earth. He sighed and lifted a hand to rub his face.

"The Doctor said you were recuperating at an adequate rate. I came to see for myself."

Chakotay's eyes flew open. Seven was standing at the foot of the bed, her hands clasped together and looking at him appraisingly. Chakotay felt better, though his head still felt somewhat heavy, so he slowly sat up on the biobed. He groaned at the movement.

"I'll take the Doctor's word for it," Chakotay replied as he slowly stretched and grimaced at how tight his muscles were.

"Should I call the Doctor?"

Chakotay smiled at her concern. "No, I'm fine – better. Thank you."

She gave a curt nod.

"What's the latest report? I see Voyager still seems to be in one piece, so that's good. Harry must have done well," Chakotay said as he reached out for the cup of water by his bed. Seven moved to hand it to him when he couldn't reach it and his arm shook from the strain. He nodded his thanks.

She gave a small smile. "As a matter of fact Acting Captain Kim acted quite competently. I believe you will be proud of his accomplishments."

Chakotay nodded before Seven went on.

"Admiral Janeway has ordered Voyager to retrieve the Neutrino Entraptor and to bring it to Deep Space 12 for further study, while Starfleet makes a decision regarding a permanent location for it. Since the station is not completed, there are certain precautions we need to take – in the unlikely eventuality that someone in the Delta Quadrant activates the Entraptor Neelix left behind. She has left instructions for Voyager to report back to Earth whenever you deem it appropriate."

Chakotay nodded, trying to hide the way his heart somersaulted at what that order might imply for them personally. "The other ships?"

"The Cousteau is on its way back to Earth with the Talaxians. Janeway, Lieutenant Torres, Icheb and Tuvok left with them. Aspire and the others were ordered to resume their earlier mandates, now that the crisis has been averted."

Chakotay nodded again. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to see Neelix and see everyone off." Something suddenly occurred to him and he looked up at Seven questioningly. "You didn't go with them? What about your reassignment to the Delta Quadrant Unit?"

"I told the admiral that I would join her once I was assured that you had recovered. Someone needs to ensure that Lieutenant Kim does not ruin his earlier performance," she said with humor and Chakotay smiled. She paused and her gaze turned tentative. He knew from experience it usually meant she wanted to say something of a personal nature. "Janeway implied that you might be accompanying me to Earth ahead of Voyager when you are ready. That you are considering leaving Voyager. Starfleet."

There was a question in her statement, so Chakotay nodded, watching for her reaction. "That's right. I've actually been thinking about it for a while, and now…" Yes, now he was ready to truly look for options. It was time to finally set up that meeting with Commander Elmridge, an instructor at the Academy. And he should probably talk to someone from Starfleet as well… Normally he would go to Kathryn for this type of thing, but he felt he needed an outsider's perspective on this particular issue. Admiral Hayes had always been fair-minded and considerate, maybe Chakotay could discuss his options with him.

Seven nodded as her eyes traveled around the sickbay, as if seeing its walls and bulkheads for the first time. "This vessel has seen many changes recently. Figuratively speaking, of course."

Chakotay gave a small smile. "That it has, but it doesn't follow that all changes are for the worst."

"True." She inhaled and returned her gaze to him. "In any case, Admiral Janeway has asked me to relay that she will be expecting you on Earth soon, so you could – and I quote – finish what you started. Since I am transferring there myself, we should coordinate our travels."

Chakotay almost choked on the water he'd just sipped. There was a lot he found surprising about this statement: the fact that Kathryn had asked Seven to relay that message was one of them, but also the unequivocal innuendos beneath the words.

Seven smiled at his reaction – adding to his surprise. "I gather that your relationship is no longer as complicated as it once was," she said, her lips curling wryly. "I am happy for you. Both of you."

Chakotay let out a wry chuckle. "I don't know about it being any less complicated, but in a way, yes, I suppose you're right. But thank you. That means a lot to me."

She gave a nod. "Do you have any orders for Lieutenant Kim?"

Chakotay shook his head. "He seems to have things under control. Do tell him to stop by when he gets the chance though, I'd like to hear his report on what happened while I was in the Flyer and out of commission."

"I'll tell him." She gave a nod and turned on her heels.

"Seven," Chakotay stopped her and she turned back around. Chakotay hesitated as he watched her for a moment. She was looking at him expectantly, but without any of the dread he'd half anticipated. "I hope that one day you can forgive me for the way I acted toward you. I didn't mean for things to go the way they did, and I am sorry if I caused you pain."

"If by 'forgive you' you mean that I put the past behind me and maintain a friendly affection toward you, then you needn't worry: that's already been accomplished."

Chakotay let out a slow breath, more grateful than he could say.

She gave another nod. Her expression was remarkably open and Chakotay was relieved to see that her smile was genuinely kind. "I will send Lieutenant Kim to you now."

She left and Chakotay gingerly tested out his muscles again. His body still felt heavy and stiff, but he felt stronger than before. He slowly slid off the bed, making sure that his hands stayed propped up in case his legs buckled. His legs felt stiff when his feet reached the floor and he put his weight on them, but they felt strong enough to support his weight. He slowly let go of the bed.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Chakotay rolled his eyes as the Doctor rushed to his side. So close.

"Just stretching my legs. I can't lie still anymore."

"Oh," the Doctor replied as he scanned Chakotay with his tricorder. "For a moment there I thought you were going to pull a Janeway on me."

"Excuse me?"

"A Janeway: a secretive attempt at escaping the sickbay with the pretense that a captain doesn't get sick days. She was always one of my worst patients, and that says a lot considering I've treated Klingons and Hirogens."

Chakotay grinned at the mental image and the Doctor's impression of her tone. "It's a relief to know there's one thing she's not good at."

"Yes. Well, Captain," the Doctor went on as he shut his tricorder, "your patience may be rewarded. If all continues to go well, you should be back on your feet – metaphorically as well as literally," he added with an amused smile at his pun, "in a few hours."

"Good." Because Chakotay had a rendezvous on Earth he was eager to get to.

The EMH returned to his work area, humming to himself, and Chakotay took a few tentative steps around his bed. It felt good to be up and about. His muscles gradually loosened as he walked and the stiffness slowly abated. He wasn't quite ready for his boxing training routine, but he was determined to be, and soon.

His mind wandered back to Seven and Kathryn's message as he slowly paced the floor of sickbay. He couldn't quite contain his emotions and he grinned to himself, relieved that no one was there to see the silly expression that was probably all over his face. He could still hardly believe that this was really happening, that Kathryn Janeway actually returned his feelings and wanted him in her life. He hadn't dared hope for so long… It was too much emotion to process, his mind was having trouble catching up to what his heart already knew.

The time aboard the Flyer was a little blurry in his memory, but the feelings that had flowed through him had definitely left their mark, especially those she had willingly shared with him. Her intense expression as she had lowered the force field flashed through his mind. The look in her eyes had been so raw, with joy but also something akin to vulnerability, as though she had truly, finally, let go of all the walls and constraints she constantly put up around herself. It had taken his breath away even before he had felt the onslaught of emotions that she had kept hidden for so long.

He was impatient to see her again, hold her in his arms if she let him. Would she? What were her expectations now? He knew how she felt (literally), and hopefully she knew how he felt too, but the rest — where they would go from here — was uncharted territory. She was still his superior officer, for one thing. That was one hurdle he could easily remedy: he was willing to resign his commission, since that was something he had been considering for a while – even before he'd had any hope. He had even been in touch with a number of anthropology departments, including the Academy's, and most were eager to have someone with his field experience within their institutions. But getting everything settled could take a while, especially because he wanted to make sure that Voyager was in good hands before he even resigned. As good as an officer as Harry was, he wasn't ready for the captaincy.

So how would it work in the mean time? How would they handle the shift in the power relations between them? Even though as a commander Chakotay had always told Kathryn when he disagreed with her, in the end as the captain she had always had the last word. Chakotay the civilian was not so easily placated, and they could both be stubborn. Would she be able to accept – love – this side of him?

He stopped himself sternly; he was getting ahead of himself. First things first, he had to ensure Voyager completed the mission here so that he felt free to take a leave of absence and travel to Earth with Seven. Only then would he get the answers he was looking for.

"It's good to see you up and about, Captain," Harry said with a friendly smile as he walked in, distracting Chakotay from his thoughts. "You wanted to see me?"

Chakotay smiled. "Yes, pull up a chair, Harry," he said as he returned to his bed to sit. "Let's start with your report on what happened. And once that's done, it's time for our post-mission analysis. Tell me what you would have done differently if you'd been in charge." It was an exercise Chakotay often did with Harry, to prepare him to think as a captain.

Harry nodded with an excited lopsided smile as he took a seat. "Aye, sir!"

oooOooo

Neelix sat in the mess hall aboard the starship Cousteau, lost in thought. Most of his people, including Dexa, Brax and Nirax, were catching up on some sleep in their temporary quarters aboard the starship. But Neelix couldn't sleep.

It was strange to be here, he mused as he sipped on his tea. This ship was so similar to Voyager in its design, that it made the small differences uncanny. As if they were tricks of his imagination; that panel shouldn't be there, or that wall shouldn't be that color. It always took his brain the fraction of a second to process what his eyes actually saw instead of what they expected to see.

Oh everyone on board was very kind, and he had to admit, it was exciting to be back on a Federation starship. He hadn't realized it until now, but he had missed it: the space travel, the protocols, the excitement. And it was wonderful to see his old friends as well – Admiral Janeway, B'Elanna, and Tuvok. He was excited to see Earth for himself, and reunite with Naomi and meet her father. But, a part of him was also anxious. What would happen to his people now? He had yet to discuss the possibilities with Janeway and the others. Would the Talaxians be welcome here, if they decided to stay? Was there even a possibility of using the Entraptor again to send them back, if that's what his people wanted? Those Talaxians had always been particularly ticklish when it came to making contact with outsiders, and they'd had so many bad experiences on other planets, Neelix couldn't really imagine a scenario in which his people decided to stay on Earth. Let alone in the Alpha Quadrant.

The admiral had told him that the asteroids had been destroyed by the entity's passage through that area. So it was a good thing that they had acted so quickly and evacuated everyone. But so many livelihoods had been wrecked in the process. Luckily no lives had been lost – and that was a great feat. Neelix was acutely aware that if one thing had gone wrong, if one mistake had been made, or if any one of his friends had not been there, the outcome could have been very different. He was extremely grateful to them all for being who there were, and for helping his people get through this.

"May I join you, Mr. Neelix?"

Startled, Neelix smiled up at Tuvok. He was even grateful for the Vulcan's blank expression: even that was a beautiful sight to him! "Mr. Vulcan, why of course! Looking for a midnight snack, are you?"

Tuvok raised an eyebrow while he sat at the table. "I merely came for some tea," he replied, showing him the steaming mug in his hand. "The replicator in my quarters appears to be ill-calibrated. Nothing has the proper flavor."

"Of course, of course," Neelix nodded knowingly. He had a suspicion that Tuvok was suffering for a similar affliction as he was – being here brought back memories, but somehow couldn't quite match them.

"Are your people settled for the time being?" Tuvok asked before taking a sip of his beverage. The way his mouth twitched was the equivalent of a human grimace. Clearly even the tea in the mess hall was not up to his standards.

"Yes, for now. I confess, I'm a little nervous about going to Earth. I've heard so much about it…"

Tuvok nodded in acknowledgement. "I myself am not particularly fond of it."

"Oh?"

"You may have noticed, humans do tend to let their emotions run high. As a result I find Earth to be a chaotic, loud and unpredictable place."

Neelix smiled at the description. "Oh, that doesn't sound so bad to me."

Tuvok glanced at him. "No. I am certain you will enjoy it."

Neelix was too used to the Vulcan's condescending manner to take comments like that personally. In fact, it amused him. "Thanks, I guess. So, how is your family? I understand you went back to Vulcan for a while. It must have been nice to go back home!"

"Yes. Although my motive for going there was primarily medical."

Neelix's face fell in sympathy. "Oh! I didn't know that. I hope all is well, now?"

Tuvok almost smiled. Almost. "It is. Though, I have to admit, this was a peculiar assignment for me to return to."

Neelix chuckled before taking a sip of his own tea. "Leave it to Admiral Janeway to find the most opportune ways to rattle you!"

"I was not rattled," Tuvok replied, a tad defensively, "merely… Rusty. Perhaps."

Neelix nodded knowingly again, touched by Tuvok's willingness to confess as much. "Well, Mr. Vulcan, I'm glad you came back when you did. I'm grateful for your presence here."

"What are you two conspiring over there?" B'Elanna's voice distracted them and Neelix smiled up at her while she approached, her own mug in her hand.

"The usual," Neelix replied playfully. "Coming up with ways to pull a prank on the captain of the Cousteau. He's too serious for his own good, that Captain Lionar."

Tuvok looked appalled. "We were discussing no such thing."

B'Elanna laughed and grabbed a chair. "Maybe we could change the console alerts to farting sounds."

Neelix laughed. "Tom is rubbing off on you, B'Elanna!"

"He would be so proud," she joked.

"Need I remind you that such an interference would be against regulation number-"

"Or, we could change his music selection to an assortment of Klingon battle songs! Some of them have some real beat to them!" Neelix suggested with a cackle.

"That's not a bad one!" A familiar voice drawled from behind, and they all turned to look at Admiral Janeway as she made her way to the counter and poured herself some coffee. Her expression was playful and mischievous when she walked to their table, and Neelix relaxed. "But I got one better," she added as she slid her arm over Neelix's shoulder and leaned forward conspiratorially. "It's something we did to one of our teaching assistants when we were at the Academy: we should rearrange Lionar's quarters to make it look like they're somebody else's."

"Why Admiral, I didn't know you had it in you," B'Elanna replied with newfound admiration, "there is some real evil genius there! Impressive."

"Admiral," Tuvok objected while the others laughed, "that would be highly unadvis-"

Janeway patted Tuvok's arm before she straightened and took a seat. "At ease, Commander," she reassured before taking a sip of coffee. "We'd be very bad pranksters indeed if we included you in our planning!" She added teasingly and Tuvok sighed.

"That is far from reassuring," he commented and Janeway chuckled.

There was something different about her, Neelix observed, though he couldn't quite put a finger on what it was. It was subtle, like a kind of happy restlessness in her movements, a twinkle in her eyes, which made her expression come alive. Hopefully they would be able to catch up, and he would find out what had brought on that glow. Someone in her life, maybe? Whatever it was, it suited her.

"Now I'm curious," B'Elanna started as she redirected her attention at Janeway, "how did the teaching assistant react when you switched the quarters?"

Janeway grinned and leaned forward again. "Oh, you should have seen her face! You see she was in charge of monitoring our floor in the dorm, and she'd been on our case since the beginning of the semester, so my friends and I decided to…"

Neelix couldn't help but sigh happily as he leaned back into his chair to listen to the story. Watching each of his friends in turn, he was just grateful to be able to sit with them once more, and glad to see them so happy.

He had missed his Voyager family.

oooOooo

"B'Elanna!"

B'Elanna was distracted from her conversation with the admiral and Icheb when she heard Tom's voice. It echoed throughout the hall of Starfleet's terminal where passengers from docked ships in orbit had transported down to Earth, either by shuttle or transporter, and she took a second to locate the source. Janeway pointed to their right with a knowing smile and B'Elanna followed her indication until her eyes found Tom amidst the crowd. She grinned, her heart filling up with warmth at the sight of him walking towards her with Miral in his arms.

B'Elanna forgot all about Janeway and everyone else as she dropped her bags to the floor and hurried through the crowd to meet with them. She stopped only when she was in Tom's arms and she felt him laugh into her hug. B'Elanna pulled back to kiss him happily, then turned her attention to Miral.

Her daughter was wide awake and made excited sounds and B'Elanna couldn't help but chuckle in pleasure. Tom transferred her to her arms and B'Elanna hugged her daughter as tightly as she dared.

"I've missed you so much!" She kissed the soft hair and the small fingers before returning her attention to Tom.

"We've missed you too," he said, his expression warm. He looked up beyond B'Elanna's shoulder. "Admiral," he greeted and B'Elanna turned to see with some guilt that Janeway was carrying the bags B'Elanna had so carelessly dropped. Janeway set them down before reaching up to squeeze Tom's arm.

"Tom, how are you?"

"Relieved to see everyone is safe. Is Neelix not with you?" He asked as his eyes scanned the crowd of officers, diplomats and traders that filled up the Starfleet terminal. Janeway, meanwhile, had redirected her gaze to Miral and was making faces at her, earning spontaneous smiles. B'Elanna grinned at their interactions.

"Yes, he can't be too far behind us," Janeway replied distractedly. "In fact, I should probably go and make sure the Talaxians get settled without any problems."

"Now that you're all back, we should do dinner sometime," Tom suggested. "Too bad Voyager didn't return with the Cousteau, it could have been a real reunion."

The admiral momentarily froze, and B'Elanna frowned curiously when she noticed a blush creeping up Janeway's neck. Was it possible that their time stuck in the Flyer had finally allowed Janeway and Chakotay to admit how they felt? Maybe she really should have gambled, all those months ago.

Janeway recovered quickly. "That's a great idea, Tom! We should do it when Voyager comes back to the neighborhood. In the meantime, dinner sounds lovely. I'll leave it to you to organize. Until then, I'll get out of your hair." She met their gazes in turn, then nodded her goodbyes.

B'Elanna returned her attention to Miral while Tom grabbed her bags and they started walking.

"So, how was it? Being back on Voyager?"

B'Elanna sighed and she met his eyes. "It was… something."

His expression sobered a little. "Was it… I mean, did it help you find what you were looking for?"

B'Elanna considered it for a moment. "You know, I think it did. It was exciting, and challenging, and even fun to be back in the action, but," B'Elanna shook her head. "I'm so very glad to be back!"

Tom nodded, a small relieved smile turning his expression into the boyish face she adored. "I've been thinking, B'Elanna. If it makes you happy, then you should talk to the admiral and have her assign you to exploratory missions every once in a while. While you were away, I realized that it doesn't have to be one or the other, you know? I know you love your work here, and we love having you around, but I also know you love it out there. So, there has to be a way for you to do it all."

B'Elanna stared at him. "You'd be okay with that?"

"B'Elanna, I want you to be happy, so yes! I would be okay with that. Especially if I get to join you every once in a while," he added as he nudged her shoulder with his.

B'Elanna stopped walking to face him and stared up into his eyes. "I love you."

He stepped closer, reaching out his fingers for their daughter to grab. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He kissed her softly. His expression turned into a mix of mischief and guilt when he pulled back. "That's good, because there was a little – shall we say incident at the house. You see, I was trying to fix the shower – you know you've been complaining about it, so I decided to get to it, but when I pulled the panel open, there was this…"

B'Elanna smiled to herself as she listened to his voice, pretending to be discouraged with his behavior, when in fact she wouldn't have it in any other way.