Chapter 18

Kathryn had to admit, it felt good to take a bath and sleep in her own bed. Unfortunately she didn't get to enjoy it for too long, because only a few hours after her head hit the pillow it was morning again, and she had to get ready for the meeting with the Talaxians.

When Kathryn entered the room, it was crammed with the refugees, and she realized that pretty much every Talaxian was present. While she admired a democratic process, having everyone here would make things a little more challenging logistically – especially as the designated room appeared much too small to hold everyone. She searched the crowd for Neelix and soon found him in an intense conversation with a Talaxian man, Dexa, and Nirax, whom Kathryn had met aboard the Cousteau. She made her way to them, and Neelix threw her a relieved glance when he saw her.

"Admiral Janeway," he greeted and the others gave her a courteous nod.

"Neelix, Dexa, Nirax." She turned to the other man. "I'm Admiral Janeway, welcome to Earth."

The man scowled but took her hand nonetheless. She spied Dexa and Neelix exchange a look. "I'm Xar. We appreciate your hospitality."

Kathryn nodded and returned her attention to Neelix. "I have to admit, I was only expecting the Council to attend this meeting, we'll need a different venue if everyone wants to be there. Neelix, can you coordinate-"

"Neelix doesn't speak for us," the man, Xar, interrupted and Kathryn blinked in surprise at the tone, an acerbic reply quickly forming on her tongue. Clearly those two had a history, and Kathryn hated to step into something she didn't know anything about, but no one spoke so disrespectfully of her crew and friends without facing the consequences.

Neelix touched her arm before she could retort. "No, he's right, Admiral. I'm not the right person for this job, but… Dexa has been on the Council for a few months now."

Kathryn met Dexa's eyes and at the woman's nod, she nodded as well. "Good, I'll need your help moving everyone to a different location. An auditorium at the Academy should do the trick. Neelix, I need you to resume your job as our ambassador," she said, throwing Xar a quick pointed look.

Neelix's face lit up. "Well, of course, Admiral."

"Good. Let's get organized here."

It took a couple hours just for everyone to get settled in the new room, serve food for that large a crowd on relatively short notice, and figure out just how to conduct the meeting with so many in attendance when she'd expected to only deal with the Council, maybe even the Council Regent. In the end it was decided that Kathryn and Lieutenant Wildman – who had been working out a few options for the Talaxians and even prepared a little show and tell – would present everyone with the different options. On the bright side, having everyone present meant that there would be no misinterpretation or errors in the transmission of the information.

Things went relatively well, but at an excruciating pace. The Talaxians were quick to ask questions and talk to each other across the room, and it took all of Neelix's abilities as a mediator to keep the meeting going.

One of the hardest parts for Kathryn, however, was relating to them what she had found on the other side of the wormhole and telling them that their homes had been destroyed. The room had gone eerily silent at this announcement, but Dexa had quickly recovered and brought them into solution mode.

So now the choice was before them: the Neutrino Entraptor made it possible for them to return to the Delta Quadrant if they wanted (though both B'Elanna and Seven insisted for further testing before ever using it again), or they could settle here in the Alpha Quadrant. Samantha then showed them a number of planets that they'd thought would be suitable, as well as introduce Earth itself as an option. There were a lot of questions and Kathryn, Sam and Neelix answered them as honestly as they could. By the time most of the questions had been answered and the meeting tapered to its end, it was late evening and Kathryn was exhausted, and hungry.

After a moment of silence heavy with the decisions that the Talaxians faced, Dexa rose from her seat in the front row of the auditorium. "Thank you, Admiral Janeway, Lieutenant Wildman, for taking the time to help us and answer our questions. As you can no doubt imagine, there is a lot to consider. I think I speak for all of us when I say that we need some time to think about our options, and your generous offer to relocate us."

"Of course. Once you've made your decision," Kathryn spoke to the crowd, "Dexa will relay it to me, and, on behalf of Starfleet and the Federation, I will do everything in my power to accommodate your wishes." Kathryn almost said 'dismissed' out of habit but stopped herself just in time, and instead smiled and bid them all good night.

As the crowd dispersed, Neelix quickly fell in conversation with Samantha, and Dexa soon joined them. Kathryn gathered her PADDs and approached them to bid them good night. "Thank you, all of you, for your help today," she told them on her way out.

They thanked her in turns and invited her to join them for dinner, but she politely declined. As much as she wished she could catch up with Neelix and get to know Dexa and her son a little better, tonight she was hoping for some alone time to recharge from everything that had happened recently.

Plus, before she had left this morning she had found that Chakotay had transmitted her a letter overnight. She'd decided to postpone reading it until she was back at her house in order to really savor the words. So now she was eager for a glass of wine, a hot bath, and his letter. Ideally all at once.

With one last goodbye she made her way outside, and took in a deep breath from the soft breeze that blew from the Bay. It was getting dark; the sun was almost below the horizon, casting the last of orange and pink beams against the high rises of the San Francisco buildings, but artificial lights were already on around the Academy plaza. Taking another deep breath, she walked down the steps as she took in the world around her. The Night Owl was but a few minutes away, so maybe she could grab some-

She did a double take when a dark-haired man of Chakotay's build appeared in her line of vision at the entrance of the neighboring Academy building. The man stood with his back to her, talking to a tall, slender woman with golden hair… and a Borg optical implant? Seven!

Seven saw her first and the man finally turned around. There was no mistaking him. It was Chakotay. How…? When…? Kathryn barely noticed how Seven nodded at Chakotay before walking away; her entire focus was on Chakotay.

His crooked smile brightened as he raised his hand in a small wave, and Kathryn's heart leapt into her chest. She grinned and started walking to catch up to him. With a subtle tilt of the head, he gestured for her to meet him in the gardens that occupied the main plaza, a short distance from both their current spots. Understanding that he was directing them to a slightly more secluded area (though probably not secluded enough), she followed his lead, never letting him out of her sight as she made her way.

When she finally joined him, he was waiting for her standing by a bench, his hands clasped together behind him. He cut a fine figure, dressed in his full dress uniform, and Kathryn drank in the sight of him, the dimpled smile and the twinkle in his eyes. After the day she'd had, she couldn't get to him fast enough.

"Admiral," he greeted, his tone playfully formal. Still smiling, Kathryn didn't stop walking until she was just short of touching him and looked up into his eyes. After a short pause, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her for a fierce hug. She was so relieved to see him fully recovered, so glad for the surprise appearance… Since they had left things rather open-ended between them, she'd almost convinced herself that their time in the Delta Flyer had not been real, or that he would change his mind once the entity left his body. But no, he was here, and from the way his arms tightened around her and his lips brushed her ear, he was just as relieved as she was.

She pulled back but stayed within the circle of his arms, taking advantage of his warmth, and looked up at him.

"Oh Chakotay, you're a sight for sore eyes! How did you get here so fast?"

His devastatingly charming crooked smile turned almost shy, and Kathryn realized there was no stopping the way her heart seemed to melt. "Didn't you get my message? I wasn't sure how you would react to a surprise, so I wrote to you to let you know I was coming."

"I got your letter, but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. Chakotay, this is a wonderful surprise."

His smile widened. "Good. Am I right in assuming that you haven't had dinner yet?"

"You know me too well."

"Shall we?"

Kathryn took his arm and they started walking. "I'm starving. How about the Night Owl? I think we'll be comfortable there."

"Sounds perfect."

"How did you get here so fast?" Kathryn asked again, basking in his presence, in the way he tucked her closer into his side as they walked.

He grinned. "Well, as soon as we were done at Deep Space 12, I requisitioned the Flyer so that Seven and I could fly to Earth. We traveled at warp 8 the entire way; knowing Lionar, I figured he wouldn't travel faster than Warp 5 for a trip like this. So I knew we wouldn't be too far behind you."

"The man does tend to be a tad protective of his dilithium." Kathryn grinned, loving the fact that they were back, that she could banter with him and not feel guilty or bittersweet or like it would break her.

She scanned his face as well as she could while walking. "You look well, are you well?" She asked with concern. The last time she had seen him, he had been lying on the bed in sickbay, looking eerily pale and barely strong enough to lift his hand.

As if he could read her thoughts – or her feelings – his hand covered hers on his arm. "I'm fine. The Doctor gave me a clean bill of health. Not quite ready to take you on at a game of velocity, but-"

"Were you ever?" She teased.

"Ha! Give me a few days and I guess we'll find out."

"I accept your challenge!"

He let out a chuckle and Kathryn stared at him again. It had been a long, long time since she'd heard such a lighthearted sound from him. The desire to kiss him, his lips, that spot on his neck, his skin, was so powerful she had to consciously stop herself. This was not the place for such a display. With both of them in uniform, they were not exactly inconspicuous, and as much as she wished it weren't the case, Kathryn cared what her peers thought. And with all the publicity that Voyager and the crew had received, Kathryn and Chakotay's faces were well known at Starfleet Command. Just walking across the plaza constantly required her to nod or smile at a cadet or officer. This new happiness was all too new, too exciting, too private to share with the world yet. Let the two of them enjoy it for a while before having to share it.

"I'm so glad you're here," she repeated instead, just in case he still had doubts. "How did you know where to find me?"

"Actually, I didn't. It was pure luck that we saw you just now. I was about to go search for you, and, just like that – there you were."

"I've been practicing that appearing act for a while, maybe I'll present it next time we have a reunion talent night."

He chuckled again. "I confess I've been anxious to see you, especially given the way we left things, and the message you left with Seven," he said with a sly sidelong look her direction and Kathryn grinned, "but I was actually at the Academy to talk to Commander Elmridge and Admiral Hayes."

That explained the dress uniform, but… "Why?"

He nodded, but Kathryn felt him tense all the same. "To discuss my options for a future outside of Starfleet."

They had just reached the Night Owl and Kathryn was glad for the distraction as they went in and chose a secluded table in a corner. No one would notice them there.

"And?" She asked at last as they sat side by side in the booth. Despite the fact that it made their relationship easier, a part of her was sorry that Chakotay was considering leaving Starfleet. He was such a wonderful officer, and could contribute – in fact had already contributed – a lot to Starfleet. There was something so… final, about it.

"And, there are options," he replied as he grabbed PADD menus and handed one to her. "I was meeting with Elmridge to follow up on a conversation we've been having about me joining the Academy faculty as a civilian. He's actually very supportive of the idea."

Kathryn studied his face for a long moment: the kindness of his expression, the quiet authority in his bearing and proud features. "You'd be such a wonderful teacher, Chakotay, they'd be fools not to give you the moon if you asked for it."

He threw her a playful glance. "The moon? Don't be ridiculous, Mars has much better weather. It actually has weather."

She giggled and tried to muffle the sound into his shoulder. His arm shook with laughter at her reaction. She was struck again by just how much she had missed his sense of humor and how easily he could make her laugh and smile.

"But seriously, though," Chakotay continued once she had recovered, "they make a good offer."

"Are you going to accept?"

He inhaled slowly. "I don't know. It's tempting. It's pretty much everything I've been wanting: teaching about what we learned about first contact during our journey, free rein for archaeological research…"

They both input their food and drink orders into their menu PADDs and Kathryn leaned back to cross her leg while she threw him studying glances. "It sounds like an ideal opportunity," she commented cautiously. If it was so wonderful, then why was he hesitating?

"It is. But I want to make sure that you have a proper replacement for me on Voyager before I make my final decision. I don't want to leave you and the crew hanging."

Ah. There it was. "You know I'll support you whatever you choose," she said as she rested a hand on his forearm and leaned forward to lower her voice. "But I think you've given enough of yourself to Voyager for a lifetime, Chakotay. You don't owe Voyager anything – you don't owe me anything. This job sounds like a dream come true for you, and if it's really what you want, then just take it, and don't worry about Voyager and the crew. You know I won't let Voyager go to someone I don't think worthy of our ship."

He turned his head to meet her eyes and held her gaze, his chest rising and falling a sure indication that her words affected him. He gave a crooked smile. "You're wrong about one thing, Kathryn," he said quietly, his eyes boring into hers. "I owe you everything: this opportunity, the person I've become, the chance to do something worthwhile with my life – none of it would have been possible were it not for you."

Kathryn swallowed the sudden lump in her throat at his words and the raw emotion in his voice and eyes. Humor. She needed to lighten the mood with some flirtatious banter. She raised an eyebrow. "Well then, how do you plan on repaying me? Because I'll be knocking on your door to collect. Soon."

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards. He licked his lips as he formulated a reply, but in the end he inhaled and remained serious. His hand rose to touch her cheek and his gaze wandered over her face, as if he was trying to commit her features to memory. "By endeavoring to make you as happy as I possibly can, for as long as you'll let me."

Kathryn moved her hand to the back of his neck as she held his gaze, her eyes as glassy with emotion as his. "Then you better start kissing me now."

He smiled, his eyes now burning with intensity. He leaned closer, but then stopped and he pulled back just far enough to look into her eyes, his brows knitted together in playful contemplation. "You're not always going to tell me what to do, are you? Wait, don't answer that."

Before she could even fully smile at his teasing, he was kissing her at last and Kathryn sighed against his lips, sliding her hands further around his neck and shoulders, and opening her mouth to better taste him. His kiss was unhurried, sensual, exploratory, so very different from the desperate hunger that had driven his touch aboard the Delta Flyer. As if now they had all the time in the world to discover each other. A shiver coursed through her as she realized that they did. Kathryn could feel the heat rise between them as his fingers tangled in her hair and-

"Uh-hum."

Kathryn sprang away from Chakotay at the waiter's not-so-subtle announcement of his presence. She placed her fingers on her mouth to keep from laughing while the waiter set down their food and drinks onto their table, doing his utmost not to look at them directly.

Kathryn exchanged a look with Chakotay who was biting back laughter, his expression halfway between sheepish and amused – and a little desire-dazed – before he cleared his throat and thanked the waiter.

As soon as the young man left their table, they both burst out laughing. Kathryn once again tried to hide the sound into his shoulder, while he did the same into her hair.

"Wow, I haven't felt this busted since my sister walked in on me kissing Cara Velan in our parents' toolshed when I was fifteen," he whispered, chuckling, while he grabbed for his napkin and spread it across his thigh.

Kathryn laughed as she did the same and took a sip of wine. "Toolshed! How romantic."

"Yeah, she wasn't impressed either."

They chuckled again, and Kathryn leaned her head toward him to maintain the conspiratorial tone of their conversation. "I got busted kissing a boy from the tennis program by Professor Romano, second year Earth literature, remember him? It was mortifying." Kathryn tilted her head. "Although in retrospect I'm grateful to poor Professor Romano for interrupting, that boy could serve like no one else, but his talent, I'm sorry to say, did not extend to kissing."

Chakotay, on the other hand…

Chakotay chuckled and attacked his food in earnest and Kathryn was reminded how hungry she was. She promptly picked up her fork.

"But anyway," Chakotay started after clearing his throat, his expression still mirthful, as if he was consciously looking for a more banal topic of conversation, "how has it been going with the Talaxians?"

"Oh it's alright!" Kathryn replied on a long sigh. "Don't take me wrong, I'm thrilled to have Neelix with us again, but not all Talaxians are as adaptable as he is. And who could blame them? They just lost the one home they had been able to create for themselves."

She told him about the rest of the meeting, and the different options that they had presented the Talaxians with, and the tension she had noticed between Neelix and other Talaxians. They speculated about what it could mean for a while.

Then Chakotay told her about his recovery time from the dark Entity, and about his quick visit at the DQU with Seven before his meeting with Hayes and Elmridge. He'd hoped to catch Kathryn there, but when he found she wasn't there Ensign Celes had given them a short tour.

By the time he'd finished relating the events, they had long finished their food and were coming to the end of their drinks, so by common accord they slid off the booth, took care of the service and exited.

"I have to say, the DQU is an impressive place," Chakotay commented as they started walking. "You can be proud for what you've achieved there. I think even Seven was impressed with the efficiency and the organization."

"I'm so glad to hear it's up to her standards," Kathryn drawled, even though it secretly made her proud. Impressing Seven was not an easy feat. "I'm glad she approves. I want her to have the best that Earth has to offer if we're going to convince her to stick with us in the long run."

"I know."

They strolled in silence for a while as they left Starfleet grounds and leisurely started making their way uphill toward the residential areas. Kathryn took his arm again and one of her hands slid down to find his fingers and intertwined them with hers.

"Chakotay, it occurs to me that we never really finished our conversation. About Seven," she started after a while. Part of her hated that she brought that up now, when they were just getting comfortable and having such a wonderful time, but they needed to clear the air. Or she did, in any case. "You said it had been over for a while now, but…"

He took a deep breath before releasing it slowly, shaking his head a little. "I'm not sure what more there is to say, Kathryn. It was a mistake, and I am sorry for it – for causing anyone pain – but my feelings are long gone. You must know that."

"But you did have feelings."

He sighed again, but didn't let go of her hand. If anything he held on tighter. "I thought I did. I hoped I did. I was trying to move on, I believed you only felt friendship for me. Seven and I got closer unexpectedly. But then I realized it could never work, that I'd been lying to myself, and to her. So we ended it. End of story."

"You make it sound so simple…"

He sighed and a hint of frustration seeped through his calm tone. "It just was what it was. I don't know what else you want me to say, Kathryn."

She didn't either and she hated that feeling; all she knew was that the tightness in her chest was still there at the thought of them.

Something about her expression must have betrayed that feeling because he suddenly stopped walking and faced her, his hands coming to rest on her upper arms. "Kathryn," he started, serious and determined, his gaze locking with hers. "I don't know how else to say this: you own me. I've known that since about five minutes after you made me your First Officer. But I've always respected the line you drew between us, I even understood it. Because all I've ever wanted was to see you happy. Even if that meant you seeing other men or even moving in with a man you barely knew, or considered leaving Voyager for him."

Kathryn blinked at this rebuttal – that had been over a year ago! Clearly Chakotay hadn't quite put that behind him. He went on before she had a chance to respond.

"So Seven came along, and to my surprise we got along. For a while I honestly thought she could make me happy someday; if I could just reclaim my heart and move on. But there was my mistake. Getting involved with Seven was stupid, short-sighted, but it's also what made me realize what a fool I'd been to even think my feelings for you would ever fade, or that my heart could belong to anyone else. Apparently it was so obvious that even Seven, of all people, figured it out. But the most important part is that both Seven and I have put it all behind us, so," he paused and inhaled, "I hope you can too."

Kathryn looked into his eyes for a moment as she collected her thoughts. She knew he spoke the truth, and she knew from her recent conversations with Seven that she had moved on as well. Kathryn lowered her gaze to his chest and touched the spot above his heart. "It's not that you tried to be happy with someone else that hurt so much, Chakotay, or not even that you chose Seven! It's the fact that… the fact that you kept it from me."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them again his gaze was sad, but his hand slid down her shoulder in a comforting caress. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how. You were distancing yourself from me, and I…"

"It was self-preservation, I thought I was losing you."

He sighed and stepped closer, covering her hand on his chest with his own. It was warm and steady, and the feel of it next to the rhythm of his heart beneath her palm was comforting. "I'm sorry."

She moved her other hand to touch his cheek. "I know. And I'm sorry if I ever made you believe that my feelings weren't as deep as they were. But I was in an awkward position, it wouldn't have been right for me to-"

He frowned and shook his head. "No, I know that! I've never blamed you for taking your duty seriously. How could I? You were my captain, and if anything it made me admire you even more."

Kathryn gave a small smile, touched by his unwavering loyalty and his long-spoken promise that he would always put her needs above his. He'd always had. She suddenly felt selfish for feeling so betrayed when she had also had her role to play in all this. They started walking again and Kathryn linked her arm through his again.

"But I could have been a better friend," she said. "You shouldn't have felt like you needed to keep something so important from me. It would have been painful, but no less so than the alternative. Believe me."

He frowned curiously. "How did you find out?"

"I must have a propensity for self-punishment, Chakotay, because that time-traveling Admiral Janeway took a twisted satisfaction in telling me."

He let out a long sigh and shook his head. "She wasn't you, Kathryn. I'm of the belief that what we are, who we truly are, is a reflection of our actions, not predetermined by some grand scheme or timeline. She wanted to go back in time for a reason – I think something along the way had happened in her life to make her bitter and unhappy. It doesn't mean you're anything like her."

"I hope you're right." Kathryn stared up at Chakotay suddenly. "It just occurred to me that maybe what she never truly recovered from was the loss of her Chakotay. He and Seven were married in her timeline."

He shook his head at the thought and tucked her a little closer into his side. "Well, I have no intention to ever let you experience that for yourself," he told her gently but firmly and she smiled softly at the determination and devotion in his eyes.

"So," he started again, his eyes searching her face. "Anything else you'd like to know before we return to the part where I try to make you as happy as I possibly can for as long as you'll let me?"

She shook her head with a small chuckle and looped both her arms around his. "No."

"Good."

"Actually, there is one thing."

He rubbed his forehead and threw her a half-amused half-dreading look. "Okay."

"That thing you mentioned, me moving in with Jaffen when our crew was taken to that power plant to work."

He exhaled and looked down, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have said that. It wasn't fair of me to bring it up."

"Maybe not, but you did, and clearly it's been bothering you. So, let's hear it."

"Kathryn…"

She let go of his arm and stepped sideways to sit down on an upcoming sidewalk bench, crossing her leg so she could lean back and look up at him. "Go on. I was able to get something off my chest, it's only fair you get the chance to do the same."

He pursed his lips as he studied her, hands on his hips, as if weighing the pros and the cons of humoring her. "Fine-"

"Let's start by getting something straight," she interrupted.

He let out a wry chuckle. "I thought I was doing this-"

"That wasn't really me. Maybe part of it was me, but not the important part. So you can't hold the decisions I made then against me."

"I don't. But you're right, something about it bothered me. It's like you said – it wasn't the fact that you seemed to find happiness with somebody else – well, maybe it stung a little. But I've always wanted you to be happy above anything else. No, I think what bothered me is that for some reason he was able to turn you against me – that somehow, the portrait he was painting for you was more appealing than my truth. That despite our connection, you still decided to listen to him. As much as I wish it were, what I felt wasn't petty jealousy, it was…"

"Betrayal," she finished for him, now meeting his gaze seriously, pointedly.

He sighed in understanding.

She leaned forward. "I need you to understand something, Chakotay. The only reason that he was able to convince me not to trust you, to turn you in, was because… It played into the sense of carefreeness I felt there, as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't know what that weight was at the time."

He came to sit next to her. "Your responsibilities as a captain."

She gave a nod. "Even though I couldn't tell exactly why or how, you were a symbol of all that, and by the same token you jeopardized the illusion of freedom that I had there. So it was less scary to go with Jaffen's suspicions than having to face everything you represented. That's all. But once I remembered, I also remembered that I had always embraced my responsibilities, even when the burdens outweighed the rewards. And I remembered why my instinct was to trust you, and that's because you're a straight arrow, Chakotay, and you've been my anchor and my moral compass every single time I lost myself. I know it doesn't absolve me completely, but it's the truth."

He sighed again. "So I guess in our own way, without meaning to, we both betrayed each other."

She leaned forward to better look at his face. "And I'm sure, if we keep digging, we'll find more of those moments of doubt, and suspicion. Chakotay, can we get past all of that?" She was suddenly very worried that their history – too many years of longing and too many things left unsaid – would ruin things for them now. But they'd already gone through so much, they couldn't give up now!

He exhaled and to her relief smiled his crooked smile. "After everything I've told you, do you really think this is going to make me backtrack, or change the way I feel?"

She exhaled in relief and leaned in to kiss his lips, pulling on his neck to bring him closer. He circled one arm around her while his other hand came to rest on her neck and his lips coaxed her mouth open. Kathryn got lost in the sensation of his lips, his hands, his warmth and when they finally pulled apart, she had no idea how much time had elapsed. Only that it seemed like the closer they got, the more of him she needed.

He straightened and took in his surroundings, as if startled at the unfamiliarity of it – the old-fashioned street and lampposts, tall trees and 21st-century revival houses. He frowned. "Where are we? I don't think I've ever been in this area before."

Kathryn bit her cheek mischievously as she leaned back into the bench and pointed over her shoulder to the building behind them. "This is where I live."

His gaze flicked to the historic building and back to hers. Kathryn had to bite back her grin at the surprise in his expression.

"It's nice," he said at last.

She nodded, thoroughly amused by his reaction.

"You want to come in for a cup of coffee?" She asked lightly – like she'd done a hundred times as a captain – and stood to her feet. Except they both knew that, even though coffee was always on the table with her, there was more to the invitation this time.

He bit his lips as he stood up to face her, looking a little longingly at the building for a second before returning his gaze to hers. "I… would love to. You have no idea how much…"

"But?"

"But, I don't think I should."

Kathryn wasn't quite sure how to react. "Alright," she replied after an awkward pause. Despite his reassurances to the contrary, had she ruined the night with her insistence that they hash out the past?

He stopped her with a hand on her arm. "It's… very… tempting for me to forget right now, but I'm still your junior officer." His eyes drifted to the pips on her collar before returning to her face. "And until that changes, until I can come to you as your equal, I'll act in a way befitting a Starfleet officer. As hard as it is for me to leave this spot right now, if I do leave we won't have anything to ever reproach ourselves with when it comes to our professionalism."

Kathryn stared at him, trying to decide whether she was surprised, proud or annoyed with him for being the one to hold up to her the principles that she lived by. He had one foot out of Starfleet, yet his duty and the values that she held so highly still mattered to him. She admired him for it – even if admittedly it caused her some momentary frustration.

"Who's defining parameters, now?" She countered, finally letting some humor into her raised eyebrow and crooked smile. "And whatever happened to making me as happy as you possibly can?"

He barked out a small chuckle and put his hands on his hips, relieved to hear her typical teasing drawl. "I'm afraid it's deferred for an indefinite, though definitely short, period of time." His smile softened and he turned serious. "I'm going to accept the Academy job first thing tomorrow, and hand in my resignation at Starfleet Command by the same token. Admiral Hayes said I should expect a short delay in making the paperwork official, so I actually need to return to Voyager for the time being. But I'll be back as soon as I can."

She nodded and touched his chest, committing to memory the feel of the Starfleet uniform on him. "Well then, Captain, it was an honor serving with you."

He took in a deep breath before releasing it, his dark eyes holding hers steadily. "No Admiral, the privilege was all mine."

She reached out and he grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers before stepping away. "Goodnight Kathryn."

"Goodnight Chakotay."