Chapter 19

Laughter rang throughout Kathryn's house as Neelix related the story of how he had asked Dexa to become his wife. Kathryn smiled to herself as she busied herself around her kitchen – half listening to the muffled voices coming from the next room, and half trying to focus on the recipe she was following. Apparently Neelix's plans for a romantic proposal had met with obstacle after obstacle until he had ended up proposing to Dexa knee deep in mud and smelling of ixan cow. Whatever that was.

"That's what I call true love," Tom teased. There was a baby squeal from Miral, which sparked more laughter.

"How did you propose to your wife, Mr. Tuvok?" The question came from a female voice Kathryn recognized as Dexa's and Kathryn had to admit, she kind of wished she could see her Vulcan friend's expression right then. Dexa was probably trying to bring Tuvok into conversation, apparently not aware that Tuvok would contribute if he believed it necessary or useful. Admittedly Kathryn was a little surprised when Tuvok actually answered her question.

"On Vulcan, it is customary to engage in a strict ritual when the time comes for a couple to bond…"

Kathryn almost chopped off her finger trying to cut the onion, so she tuned out the muffled voices, and focused on her task. God knew cooking wasn't her forte on a good day; she wasn't going to mess up when she was hosting the first reunion of Voyager's senior staff since the end of their incredible journey. Luckily Seven had volunteered to give her a hand with the cooking, so at least one of them was working efficiently as they put everything together for the main course.

Since Seven had started her new position at the DQU a week ago, the two of them had worked more closely than they had in a long time, and Kathryn had come to realize that she had missed her. Seven seemed to acclimate well to living on Earth, especially once Voyager had returned to pick up Chakotay for his last command and the crew had transferred her regeneration alcove to her Earth quarters. Knowing what Seven was hoping to accomplish with the research into artificial singularities, it was gratifying to watch her work with B'Elanna and the others. Seven's hopes for a future in which she was happy helping others like her – a future in which she was not alone – brought her even closer to humanity.

Kathryn glanced at the clock. Everyone was here except for Chakotay, Harry and the Doctor. The three of them were on their way back from Chakotay's last mission as Voyager's captain. According to their flight plan, the ship should have docked at the orbital station a couple of hours ago, so Kathryn wondered what could be delaying them. Not that she had given a precise arrival time for this little get-together, but it wasn't like Chakotay to tarry, especially – one would think – given the incentive.

The anticipation was killing her. She hadn't seen him in person since that night he'd walked her home and she could barely contain her excitement and nervousness at the thought of seeing him again, of embarking in this relationship with him, of being in his embrace, of peeling back his mysteries.

Much to her delight, he'd written to her almost everyday since he'd left and his letters were everything she had always assumed they would be: thoughtful and poetic but also packed with subtle humor. His most recent letter, which dated from the day before, had told her that his Starfleet resignation had gone through at last, and would be effective as soon as he completed his final mission and figuratively turned in his uniform at Starfleet Command.

She was happy for him, but at the same time his resignation felt like the end of something. As if his leaving Starfleet truly marked the end of Voyager's journey through the Delta Quadrant. Even though Voyager was part of her fleet, having Chakotay as the captain had made her feel as though she hadn't completely left it. Even while they had been estranged, Chakotay had been the link that had kept her connected to the ship, and to the past seven years they had spent on board, as though keeping the torch alight.

Well, maybe now she could truly move on.

She realized that the yearning and dissatisfaction she had felt before they'd received Neelix's call for help had vanished. For the first time in a long, long time, she was satisfied, content. Happy to start afresh in her position as admiral. There was no doubt in her mind that part of it was due to the knowledge of Chakotay's feelings and the anticipation of their relationship, but it wasn't just that. Maybe it was Neelix's presence, and the fact that he, Dexa and Brax had decided to stay in the Alpha Quadrant, or maybe it was the possibilities that B'Elanna's Entraptor created. Whatever it was, Kathryn no longer yearned for the past, or felt incomplete. Maybe she would long for space travel again, but if she ever got the itch she could easily take a page out of B'Elanna's book and take on some away missions every once in a while. Just to keep her reflexes sharp.

The doorbell chimed in the next room and Kathryn paused as she heard greetings being exchanged, and then, Chakotay's voice as he responded to Tom's accusation of them being late.

"There was a bit of a… mishap… with Harry's ankle."

"What happened? We want some details," Tom asked.

Many of them spoke at once and the words became indistinct, though Kathryn thought she heard Harry say that it was too embarrassing and the Doctor say something about a fall and a minor injury.

Seven suddenly appeared at Kathryn's side. "You should greet your guests. I will continue here."

Kathryn squeezed her forearm gratefully. She stopped just short of crossing the threshold and spun around. "Don't forget to turn down the heat as soon as the sauce boils."

Seven looked slightly insulted. "I will not let it burn."

Kathryn nodded skeptically while she resumed her movement to exit, but just as she was gaining momentum she collided with another body. "Oh!" She knew it was him even before she noticed the rust-colored cotton shirt or recognized the familiar masculine scent and the feel of his hands on her arms.

When she finally looked up at Chakotay's face her heart skipped a beat. His eyes danced with pleasure at seeing her and she couldn't help but respond with a bright smile of her own. Although it was strange to see him out of his Starfleet uniform, she was reminded just how much his civilian attire brought out his complexion and the chocolaty brown of his eyes. It made him look younger, somehow, carefree.

"I just came to make sure you hadn't burnt the kitchen down," he teased her before looking over her shoulder. "Seven," he greeted. "I suspect the unusual lack of smoke is due to your presence here."

Kathryn narrowed her eyes at him. "Very funny."

"It was in fact Neelix who suggested I offer my assistance to the admiral, knowing her propensity to burn food items."

Kathryn spun to stare at Seven. "And here I thought you were just being thoughtful!"

Seven raised a playful eyebrow. "I am: I am being thoughtful to your guests."

Chakotay bit back his grin and Kathryn sent him a mockingly warning stare. He raised his hands in defense.

"There's wine around here somewhere," she drawled. Kathryn left Seven and, Chakotay not far behind her, she went to greet Harry and the Doctor now conversing with Tuvok in the living room. Although she longed for some time alone with Chakotay to greet him properly and to ask him about the resignation, she was still the hostess, so the least she could do was greet her guests first. Besides, it really was wonderful to see everyone together again: B'Elanna was sitting with Dexa on the floor as the two women watched Brax entertain Miral; Neelix and Tom were sprawled on the couch conversing, while Icheb sat straight next to them listening in on their conversation with undisguised interest. Chakotay went to fetch glasses of wine while Kathryn welcomed Harry and the Doctor. For some reason she was unable to keep herself from following Chakotay's movements across the room with her eyes.

"Have you given any thought as to Mr. Chakotay's replacement as captain of Voyager?" Tuvok asked and Kathryn snapped her attention back to him.

"Hmm? Oh we have a short list of candidates. I can't really discuss it yet, but I think Voyager will be in good hands."

Chakotay returned, carefully balancing three wine glasses and gestured for Kathryn to take one. She nodded her thanks.

"That's all we can ask for," Harry replied with a genuine smile as he took the other glass Chakotay was offering.

"I have to say," the Doctor started, "Voyager won't be the same without all of you. It's almost enough to make me think about reassignment. Perhaps I've outgrown my usefulness as an EMH, it would be quite challenging to pursue my other talents, and, frankly, it was already quite bizarre without you, admiral-" Realizing what he was saying he redirected his apologetic attention to Chakotay. "No offense, Captain- Chakotay. I only meant that your leadership style is quite different than -"

Chakotay interrupted the Doctor's dramatic explanation with his hand. He exchanged a quick pointed look with Harry, who appeared to be shifting rather awkwardly on his feet, as if this had been a subject of debate between them. "I get it. We all felt a little strange without our rightful leader," Chakotay added with a look at Kathryn. "So no offense taken, Doc."

The Doctor smiled in relief before returning his attention to Kathryn. "If I may ask, how is Seven doing with her new position within the Delta Quadrant Unit?"

Kathryn grinned at the opportunity for a little payback for all that teasing back in the kitchen. "You should ask her yourself, she's in the kitchen. I'm sure she'll be happy to tell you all about it."

Chakotay leaned closer to whisper into her ear when the Doctor followed her suggestion and excused himself. "You just did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Why Chakotay I have no idea what you're talking about."

He hummed skeptically, his eyes dancing with amusement. The desire to be alone with him hit her full force again and she struggled not to lean into him or reach out to touch him. Just as she was about to suggest they go somewhere more private so she could greet him properly, Seven stepped out from the kitchen and everyone fell silent as they looked at her expectantly.

"The recipe has been executed according to the specific instructions."

At everyone's blank stare, Kathryn grinned. "I think what Seven's trying to say is: dinner's ready!"

Everyone gathered around the table while Kathryn and Seven went to get the food from the kitchen, and Chakotay volunteered to give a hand. Seven grabbed the dish containing the main course and left for the dining room.

As soon as the two of them were alone in the kitchen, Kathryn leaned her head closer to Chakotay's. "I expected you an hour ago, what was the delay?" She asked, her voice no louder than a whisper, while they retrieved the other dishes from the counter. Everything looked and smelled annoyingly perfect, thanks to Seven's talent.

Chakotay threw her a smile. "Harry fractured his ankle."

"He broke his ankle?" She repeated, not sure whether to be concerned or amused. In the end she was a little bit of both. "How?"

"He made me promise not to say. He's fine, the Doctor patched him up right away. But that's why we were delayed. Trust me," he added as he leaned closer to lower his voice even more, "I wanted to be here much sooner, but I couldn't just leave him to fend on his own," he replied playfully, his eyes traveling from her eyes to her lips and back again. Oh how she wished they were alone in the house!

Kathryn grinned, teasing. "That was very generous."

"Call it my last heroic action as a Starfleet captain."

He was making light of his resignation, but Kathryn sobered as she watched him, wondering whether the lighthearted tone was just a façade, whether it had been as easy as he made it seem. She was about to ask him about it when Seven walked in again, looking for more dishes to take to the table.

Kathryn handed her the final dish and the three of them joined the others at the table.

The atmosphere was cheerful and Kathryn couldn't recall the last time she had seen all of those faces look so relaxed. It was as though everyone was finally riding off the adrenaline rush of the Entraptor mission and the chaos of the ensuing week.

Chakotay sat next to her, looking perfectly relaxed. Yet Kathryn could tell by his overall quietness that something distracted him and made him more subdued than usual. While he wasn't necessarily the most extroverted when in a large group, he wasn't a shy man either. So this quietness was rather atypical of him. By the way that B'Elanna kept sending him curious looks from across the table, Kathryn wasn't the only one to have noticed.

The conversation drifted across a bunch of different topics: among them Chakotay's resignation from Starfleet and his new profession, the history of Kathryn's house and neighborhood, Tom's latest holo training program, Miral's teething, Seven's efficiency improvements at the DQU, the true events leading to Harry's broken ankle, the story of how the Talaxians, soon after Neelix had joined them on the asteroid, had started trading again (on Dexa and Nirax's urging) and had thus acquired the ships they had used to travel through the wormhole.

This led to a discussion about the Talaxians' divisiveness when it came to the decision that they faced. Most of them, including Neelix and his family, had chosen to stay in the Alpha Quadrant, but many of them wanted to go back to the Delta Quadrant and rebuild their community somewhere else. Both Neelix and Dexa felt that their roles as ambassador and council member respectively would be as important as ever in preserving good relations among the families. The beauty of it, however, was that the Entraptor allowed the separation to only be temporary. Kathryn was in the process of organizing a meeting with the rest of the admiralty and Federation representatives to determine exactly how to regulate and share the Entraptor technology at this early stage in its testing, but she was hopeful that no one would see any issue with using the device to send the Talaxians back if they wanted.

At that point Kathryn had risen to her feet and raised her glass for a toast. "I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all for coming, and for turning this gathering into an event to be cherished and remembered. I'd also like to extend a formal welcome to Neelix and his family – I think I speak for everyone when I say that our Voyager family has not been complete without our dear friend, morale officer, cook, and ambassador."

"Hear, hear," Chakotay said, raising his glass and everyone echoed his words and gesture. Neelix shared an embarrassed but proud smile with Dexa and Brax. Kathryn paused to look at everyone before going on.

"I know that for some of us Voyager's return home was not quite the idyllic homecoming that we had dreamed of, and that many of us have struggled these last few months as we tried to figure out where we belong now that our incredible journey has come to an end," she said as she met B'Elanna's and Chakotay's gazes in turn. "But what these past couple of weeks have shown me, is that the journey is far from over. Our team may get scattered across the quadrant, but our family ties remain strong and hold us all together across the distance. I think tonight, your presence here, speaks to that. And if I've learned anything working alongside all of you these last seven, almost eight years, is that if we stick together, we can overcome anything. So I'd like to toast to the future: to its joys and challenges; to the journey, because it's not over until it's over; and to this family, whose bonds, brilliance and resilience transcends even spacetime and brought us all here tonight."

Tom raised his glass. "To…" He blinked, as if he couldn't remember all of the items, "everything Admiral Janeway just said!"

Everyone laughed and they clinked their glasses. Kathryn took particular care of meeting Chakotay's eyes as their glasses clinked, and something of an understanding passed between them.

"I'd also like to say a few words, if I may," Neelix said as he stood, one hand on his stomach while the other held the glass.

Kathryn sat down again and instinctively leaned into Chakotay. He, just as naturally, put his arm around her chair, though without making contact with her directly.

"I would like to personally thank all of you, my Voyager family, for everything you've risked to come to our help. You could have easily dismissed my story as an old wives' tale, or deemed the risks too high. But no, you – all of you – did everything in your power to help us, risked your lives, and for that, I'm eternally grateful. I've come to realize over the years aboard Voyager that, while humans have their faults," he made a point of pausing and they all chuckled, "they will do anything to help one of their own. And Dexa, Brax, and I, are honored to be considered as such. Thank you." The raw emotion on his face moved Kathryn almost to tears and no one spoke for a long second.

"Dessert, anyone?" Neelix asked to lighten the mood and everyone chuckled again, lightening the mood in a way only Neelix knew how.

Hours later, the evening was declared a success, and everyone left with intentions of hosting the next reunion. While Kathryn was saying goodbye to her guests, Chakotay had retreated into the kitchen to take care of the leftovers and putting the dirty dishes in the sonic washer. If anyone noticed that he wasn't leaving with the rest of them, no one said anything.

Once everyone had left, Kathryn walked around the living room to gather discarded wine glasses before stepping into the kitchen to bring them in for washing.

Chakotay was busy putting away some of the leftover dessert and he gave her a smile when she came in. It was a pensive kind of smile and Kathryn was once again struck by his peculiar behavior.

"You don't have any room left in you for this last piece of chocolate cake, do you?" He asked lightly as she walked around the counter to where he was standing and wiped some of the chocolate frosting from the presentation plate with her finger to lick it off.

"Oh no. We'll keep it for tomorrow."

His smile widened into a small chuckle and Kathryn stared up at him.

"What?"

He shook his head, still smiling, while he put the remaining piece into a container. "It's nothing, just… The way you said 'we' just now. It was nice. Sounded…natural."

"Oh. That's because it feels natural," she replied as she leaned closer into his side, watching his handiwork. "It feels right to have you standing here in my kitchen like this. Washing up," she added teasingly and he chuckled. The smell of fresh coffee reached her nose and Kathryn gave him a delighted stare. "And you've made coffee!"

He glanced at her as he went through different cupboards until he found two mugs and filled them with coffee. "It's my strategy, you see: to make myself as handy as possible so that I become absolutely necessary to your happiness."

"How long have you been working on this scheme, Chakotay? Because as far as I'm concerned, you've achieved that goal a long time ago."

"I admit, it's been a long-term project." He winked at her before giving her a mug.

"You know what this all reminds me of?" She asked as they left the kitchen and walked to the living room, coffee in hand.

"What?"

Kathryn had dimmed the lights after everyone had left and they settled down on the couch with a sigh. It wasn't long before Kathryn shifted to lean back against him. One of his arms draped around her while she gathered her knees under her.

"When we were quarantined on that planet together, we called it New Earth, do you remember?" She asked as she threw him a glance.

He scoffed incredulously. "How could I forget?" He took a sip of coffee, and his voice was softer, almost hesitant, when he spoke again. "That's when I fell in love with you."

Kathryn's breath caught in her throat at the admission, the softly spoken words, as if he dreaded her reaction.

He moved his arm further around her so that he could reach for her fingers and he intertwined them with his. "Before then I admired and respected you, and I felt an attraction, but… I got to know you a little, then, not Captain Janeway, but Kathryn. You made it very easy to fall for you. You knew, I'm sure. Nothing ever truly escapes your notice."

Kathryn smiled a little. "I suspected. And I admit, it scared me at the time. I was still hanging on to Mark back then, and you made letting him go look so very appealing. You were the kindest, the most thoughtful, passionate and intriguing man I had ever met. And not too bad looking either," she teased and she felt his soft chuckle reverberate through his chest. "I recognized the potential, but saw it as a threat instead of something to nourish." She shook her head to try to shake away her unease. "You know what else I remember, though?" She went on, infusing some playfulness back into her voice. "Your magical hands giving me one of the best shoulder rubs of my life. I certainly hope there's more where that came from!" She teased as she gently nudged his ribs with her elbow.

He replied by very slowly pressing his lips against the side of her neck to the spot where her shoulder met her neck. Kathryn almost jumped out of her skin at the unexpected sensation; normally her uniform would have been in the way, so wearing a dress for the occasion suddenly felt like an idea sent from heaven. His kiss was chaste enough, just a brief pressure on her skin, but the effects on Kathryn's skin lingered and she shivered long after he'd pulled back.

"Well, it's been a while," he replied, his tone playful, "so I'll have to test it to find out."

She grinned at their flirtation, but couldn't help but notice once again that there was something subdued about his tone. It was subtle, hidden underneath the layer of teasing and flirtatious banter. But beneath it all there was depth of emotion – though she couldn't identify which emotion, exactly – and seriousness. "You were quiet at dinner," she commented at last.

"Was I?"

She turned so she could face him, readjusting her position until she was sitting sideways on the couch, her legs curled beneath her and leaning her elbow against the back, just above his shoulder. He was watching her curiously, still waiting for her to say more.

"You were. Is it because of your resignation? Are you having second thoughts?"

His smile was instantaneous and confident. "No. For the first time in months, I feel like I actually know what I'm doing. I love Voyager, and I won't deny that there are things about space travel that I might miss every once in a while, but I'm ready for something else. There's plenty of adventure to be had, right here."

"On Earth?"

"There too."

She snorted in amusement and he gave a crooked smile. But she wouldn't let herself get distracted.

"So… if not that…" She pressed.

He seemed to consider her words for a moment before setting his coffee cup down on the table and shifting slightly to better face her. His hand found her shoulder in a gentle caress, the warmth of it seeping through the straps of her dress. "I guess… I was just mentally pinching myself."

She raised a quizzical eyebrow and he went on.

"I was thinking, wondering, if there was any chance that this- this moment, could actually be real. It sounds crazy that I could be so lucky." He gave an embarrassed shrug. "I know it sounds silly, but I was just sitting there, amazed at the fact that everyone I care about is healthy and content. And I looked at you, and marveled at the fact that you actually want me in your life, that you let me feel what you feel, and that it was the most complex, steadfast thing I'd ever felt. It gave me an anchor when I didn't know where I ended and that entity started. So I guess… I was just contemplating how lucky I am, and thanking my spirit guide for steering me toward all those choices that have led me here, to this moment." He gave a small shrug again, as if asking for her assessment.

Kathryn's smile had turned watery at his words and she couldn't stop her fingers from reaching out to touch his face, the intricate design at his temple. "It's not silly if it's the truth. Happiness is not silly."

He smiled and caught her hand to kiss her palm, his lips once again sending a bolt of electricity all the way from her hand to her toes. "That's a relief."

It took everything Kathryn had to keep her head together and reply coherently, because there was more to say. "I admit, I had a similar thought myself over dinner. After everything we've gone through, for the first time since we all got back to the Alpha Quadrant, I feel like we all belong where we should – or that, at the very least, we'll now all be able to move forward even if the journey isn't always going to be easy."

He nodded. "It's like you said, so long as we're together, we can pull through anything."

"So long as I'm by your side, I think that's true," she rectified. Her hand slid from his neck to his chest, just above his heart, where his combadge would have been. "Chakotay, you have no idea how thrilled and happy this makes me – being with you like this, the thought of being with you like this tomorrow, and the day after. All those months after we got back and I thought you were lost to me, that I'd missed my chance... It made me realize that I truly couldn't live a day without you. And I only wish I'd understood how true that was sooner. Maybe it would have saved us both some heartache."

He raised her hand to his lips again to gently kiss her knuckles. "It was a confusing and painful time," he replied, "but as painful and confusing as it was, I don't regret any of it. Because I think we both needed the time to figure out what we wanted now that we were back home. I needed to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, to find my purpose again, before I could even hope of declaring myself, and you…"

"And I…needed to learn how to stop hiding my feelings and accept them for what they were," Kathryn completed, understanding his point. She grinned. "Here's to timing."

"Here's to timing," he repeated softly, his voice deep and raw.

He smiled into her eyes and of common accord they both leaned in for an unhurried and affectionate kiss, her fingers moving to touch the softness of the hair at his temple. After a moment he pulled back to gently pry the coffee mug from her hand and leave it next to his on the table. When his lips found hers again, they were hungrier and Kathryn shifted closer, needing to feel more of his body against hers. She heard herself moan in pleasure as he pulled her closer into his arms and her chest came into contact with his. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, coaxing her lips open with his to touch her tongue with his. She moaned at the electrifying sensation and circled his torso with her arms, loving the feel of the cotton of his shirt and the hard feel of muscle and bone underneath the softness.

He stopped when she tugged the shirt free of his belt, breathing heavily, and met her eyes. Kathryn saw the question in his heady gaze so she slowly stood to her feet, taking him with her. Walking backwards and pulling him with her, she met his eyes unabashedly as her hands resumed their task of unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes went dark, yet they burned with a light from within, like embers, and Kathryn felt their heat to her core.

His own fingers tangled into her hair as she worked on his shirt, releasing her hair from the clip she used to pin it up. Now moving forward to match Kathryn's backward movement, he leaned in to kiss her again while his fingers trailed to her shoulders and slid underneath the shoulder straps of her dress, kindling gooseflesh on her skin. His fingers massaged the muscles there in one deep, warm, stroke, and Kathryn grinned against his lips, remembering her earlier comment. He had definitely not lost his touch.

At last she reached the last button and, never leaving his lips, opened his shirt and slid the sleeves off. Her hands went to his chest and he gathered her closer to his him. She hummed with pleasure at the feel of his warm skin and mad heartbeat underneath her palm. They were now moving past the threshold of her bedroom and they pulled back just enough to look at each other and smile. Kathryn leaned in to kiss his neck and threw him a surprised and mischievous glance when he jerked and chuckled at the contact. Well, she'd be damned, the man was ticklish!

He prevented her impulse to do it again by returning his lips to hers, his hands grazing the skin at her back, leaving gooseflesh in their wake.

"I have to say…" Kathryn rasped before his lips found hers again, then moved to her lower lip, at once teasing and seductive, and his fingers magically worked their way across her back to unfasten her dress. "I'm curious… as to…" He hummed in reply and his smiling lips traveled down her chin to her throat, leaving a hot trail of kisses and gooseflesh in their path. He knew full well what this was doing to her concentration, and she figured it was payback for discovering that his neck was a ticklish spot. "…whether or not exploration… remains at the top…" His hand slid through the opening of her dress at her back and she gasped. "…of your priorities."

She felt him grin against the hollow of her throat, but he pulled back just far enough to look into her eyes. "A valid question… Definitely worth investigating…" His voice was deep and raspy, his tone flirtatious, but his hand pushed her hair back gently, lovingly, and his smile lit up his dark eyes with a new kind of happiness.

With one more step backward, Kathryn pulled Chakotay down with her onto the bed, safe in the knowledge that they had a lifetime to explore each other, and realign the stars that had drifted apart.