The tailors were not happy with the amount of weight I had gained in a week.

"You look great," Clara said through her teeth as she ripped out some seams on my dress. "You just look. So great."

A few of them echoed the sentiment as they furiously stitched the jacket up to account for the three new pounds.

"The shoes still fit," Lola said smugly, and yelped when another pinched her arm. "Fuck you, Clara!"

It didn't take much time to make the dress fit, no matter how passive-aggressive they acted about it. I stared at myself in the long bronze mirror, at the ethereal figure I seemed to become under their careful ministrations. The silky green dress hung to my ankles, showing the delicate black straps of my shoes, and the jacket made me glitter in the light. My hair was put in what Lola called a fishtail braid, interspersed with glittering beads.

I was the ideal human, bound up in Chasecroft colors. A far cry from the scrawny, trembling creature that had left Rider and Vanessa's home the week before.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"You're welcome," Clara said in an absent voice, reaching out to fiddle with my sleeve.

"You look lovely, Jane," Tim said.

They didn't really understand what this meant to me, what it meant to be polished when I had spent my whole life sleeping on a dirt floor and living in filth. That was alright. They didn't need to know.

"James should be here soon to bring you downstairs," Clara said. "Let me touch up your eyeliner before you go, alright?"

I let her decorate my face, and when I looked in the mirror again I had small gold lines at the outer corners of my eyes.

"Can't go wrong with a nice wing," she said smugly as James appeared at the door.

"Is she ready?" he asked as I turned to him. His eyebrows twitched upwards slightly before he could school his expression. "I suppose so. You look good, Jane."

"Thank you," I said, a bit breathless with pride. I gestured to the tailors, all quiet behind me. "They did a great job."

"So it seems." He glanced at them with a nod. "Your work is appreciated."

They all ducked their heads, managing some quiet thanks.

James held his hand out to me, and I hurried to take it. He tucked my arm in his and led me downstairs. "Did you like the tailors? If you're dissatisfied, we can hire others in the future."

"No, no," I said quickly. "They're perfect. And I-"

"Don't want to be any trouble. Of course, Jane." He went quiet. His jacket was soft and worn against my skin, and he wore a dark purple shirt underneath it. His black tie was loose and his reddish brown curls were tied back out of his face.

"You look nice, too," I said, and he looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. His hazel green eyes stood out against his dark skin, making them intense and piercing. I quickly looked down at my shoes, the toes peeking out beneath my dress with every step I took.

"Thank you, Jane," he said. "You're very kind."

We went to the left, which tilted downwards further beneath the manor. There were fewer doors down this hall, and at the end of it was another staircase going down. This led to a small foyer with two other doors opposing each other. One, I knew, led to the Underground, a warren of caves and tunnels that stretched across the country, used by vampires for easy travel night and day. The other led to the ballroom.

Millecent had informed me that it was not, in fact, a traditional ballroom - more in line with what she called a long gallery, though a bit more spacious. The distinction was lost on me.

Benedikt was standing at the door, and I ducked my head as James and I approached. This was the first time I had seen him since he had brought me to Chasecroft, and I was unsure of how to act. His hair was, as before, pushed back, though a loose strand hung over his forehead. He was wearing a black suit with two rows of gold buttons down the front, a forest green tie standing out against his black dress shirt. Chasecroft colors, of course - I had been dressed to match him.

I noticed Nathan was leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his narrow chest, inconspicuous and discreet. His outfit was much less refined than Benedikt's, a rumpled green dress shirt partially untucked over black jeans. I also saw that there was a thin black tie hanging out of his back pocket, clearly torn off at his earliest opportunity.

"Where's your jacket?" James asked him before either of them could speak.

"Burning in hell," Nathan replied, straightening up and putting his hands on his hips. "You look great, Jane."

"Thank you," I said, glancing shyly up at Benedikt. "And you look - very handsome, master."

Benedikt looked a bit surprised, but smiled. "You're very kind."

"Don't lie to him," Nathan cut in. "He looks so damn pretentious. I want to kick his ass."

"We can't all go through life in an eighty year old hoodie," Benedikt replied, tilting his head to give Nathan a critical look.

"Which is the greatest tragedy on Earth," Nathan said dismissively. "That hoodie has been through some shit, Benedikt. It has seen empires rise and fall."

There was a clicking of bootheels, and Millecent swept past us into the ballroom. From the brief glance I got her dress was simpler than mine, a plain black jacket over a long black skirt that barely hid her simple leather riding boots. "Let's get this over with."

"Good attitude," Nathan said. "Keep it up."

James released me and followed after Millecent. I felt awkward without his arm to support me, and I shot a glance at Benedikt. Should I lean on him? Should I ask? He looked back at me, then tilted his head. "Jane?"

"I - don't know what to do with my hands," I stammered. I wasn't sure how to explain further - James took my arm and guided me, I could walk on my own but there were vampires on the other side of the door and I was-

"Don't look so scared, kid," Nathan said. "Just keep them at your sides. I'm going in, then Benedikt with you behind him. Okay?"

"Okay," I said, clenching my hands into fists. "I'm ready."

Nathan cracked his neck and shook out his arms. "Alright. Let's do this shit."

"Everyone here is so festive," Benedikt said lightly.

"Fuck you," Nathan said before leading us forward.

The ballroom was long and furnished with a handful of finely made chairs and couches, the walls decorated with fine paintings and the moldings printed with gold leaf. I kept myself close to Benedikt's heels, trying not to gawk at my surroundings.

The guests had already assembled, finely-dressed vampires mingling while they waited for their host to arrive. They dipped their heads as we passed, though I could see a few keen eyes peering up at us through the subservient pose. A few of them had glasses in their hands, dark red blood shining through the faceted cups.

Nathan led us to the end of the room where James and Millecent were already waiting by an ornate couch with dark green cushions. They seemed completely uninterested in their surroundings, standing tall and unaffected. We came to a stop in front of them, and James gave me a look and held his hand out to his side. I went to him quickly, facing forward, and when I glanced up at him he gave me an approving nod. I straightened myself up and watched as Benedikt turned to face the room.

Rider and Vanessa's friends had always been bitter and snide when they talked about him, and I knew that the vampires around us now chafed at the idea of being led by a half-breed. Yet his posture was strong and proud, unperturbed by everyone's eyes on him, unthreatened by their barely-checked resentment.

Benedikt's voice was warm when he spoke, almost cheerful. "Good evening to you all - I'm honored to have you here as guests in my home."

One of the guests raised his glass and ducked his head. "And we are all happy to be here, Master Chasecroft."

The tension in the room abated as the guests murmured their agreement. Many returned to their previous conversations, though a woman with fiery red hair and a shining gold dress approached us. It only took me a moment to recognize her as she smiled at Benedikt before striding directly to me.

She swept forward to take my face in her hands. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nathan lean forward, ready to intervene, but Cassandra's smile was radiant and her touch was gentle. "Oh, you sweet thing. You already look so much better."

I tried to match Benedikt's friendly tone. "Thank you. You look beautiful, Lady Cassandra."

She pressed one hand to her chest, delighted. "Oh, and you're so charming, too! It was Jane, yes?"

"Yes, Lady Cassandra."

"Jane." She gave my cheek a light pinch before she pulled her hands away from me completely, clasping them in front of herself. "It brings me joy to see you in such good health, sweet thing."

Unsure of what to say, I looked down at my own hands, fingers woven tightly together over my stomach.

Cassandra's gaze moved to Benedikt, and she took half a step closer to him. "Well, precious, I am certainly impressed!"

"I told you she'd be better next time you saw her," he said, obviously pleased by her compliments.

"And I had absolute faith in you," she replied. Her eyes were soft. "And yet you still manage to impress me."

Benedikt looked away, pressing his lips together to hide his smile.

After a moment Cassandra turned and dipped down into a bow before Millecent. "Your highness, it's always a pleasure to see you."

"Lady Cassandra, you are a bright girl," Millecent said, her voice chilly. "You should know better than to address me so."

Cassandra looked up with a radiant smile, still bent at the waist. "I'm honored you think I'm bright, your highness."

James chuckled as Millecent let out a heavy sigh. Cassandra straightened up, looking quite pleased with herself.

Nathan, apparently unable to contain himself any longer, threw his hands up into the air. "And me! I am also here!"

Cassandra looked down at him, a bit startled but still smiling. "Ah! Good evening, Nathan! It's good to see you, as well."

"Thank you," Nathan said, looking incredibly pleased. He leaned over to look up at me seriously. "I need attention or I will die."

"Oh," I said. "That's… too bad."

"Ugh, speaking of attention," Cassandra said, suddenly looking very put upon. She touched Benedikt's arm, rolling her eyes. "You will not believe what happened to me the other night..."

"Tell me," he said, and Cassandra immediately launched into a furious but well-composed story. I didn't bother trying to pay attention - it was a petty squabble between some lesser nobility, and Cassandra seemed to be telling it for the sake of a ridiculous tale rather than to voice an actual complaint. I followed the cadence of her voice, though, the way her tone rose and fell like a song. I wondered if she had practiced this performance, or if it was her nature to make trite gossip into a compelling rhythm.

Cassandra and Benedikt ended up sitting on the ornate couch, deep in conversation. My feet were starting to hurt, but nobody had told me to sit. I shifted my weight, anxiety seeping into my chest. I glanced at James, but he and Millecent were speaking in low tones, paying no attention to me. Nathan was sitting on the floor with his back resting against one of Benedikt's legs, watching the room with unchecked distaste. I pressed my lips together and straightened my back, trying not to think about the discomfort inching up my legs.

"Precious," Cassandra said, disrupting the flow of her story. "Your human has been standing an awfully long time - I'm quite impressed."

She didn't sound impressed. When I glanced over, her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were flickering between Benedikt and me, as if trying to get him to look at me.

He did, and I tried to keep from shuffling my feet. Understanding flashed across his features. "Ah, she has. Sit, Jane - I don't want your feet getting sore."

He patted the couch beside him, and I eagerly sat as Cassandra complimented him on how attentive he was. The silk skirt of my dress brushed against Benedikt's thigh, and I quickly snatched it up. It flowed beautifully when I walked, but sitting down it spread like spilled water. I carefully smoothed it down along my legs, making sure it didn't take up too much space.

"She does look lovely, precious," Cassandra added. "Vulnerable but covered up. So tantalizing! If only everyone dressed their humans with such class."

When I looked up I saw Benedikt's smile was a bit tighter, and his voice was a bit stiffer when he spoke. "You're very kind."

Cassandra didn't immediately respond, searching his face. Her own voice was careful. "I can be... very kind when I care to be."

The tension was broken by a low bell ringing distantly. Nathan looked up sharply, and Millecent looked down at Benedikt.

"Are all your guests not already here?" she asked.

"They are," he said uncertainly.

"Then who would be at the door?" she pressed, her voice venomous.

"Magazine salesman," Nathan suggested, standing up and dusting off his pants as Millecent scoffed. "I'll check it out."

With that he trotted out. James sauntered over to the couch, leaning against it with his eyes on the door. The murmuring of the guests was quieter now, curious eyes flicking between Benedikt and the door.

The lull was broken by Nathan's voice shouting "What the fuck, though!"

Benedikt and Cassandra stood, and I gripped the fabric at my knees in tight fists. James and Millecent both stepped forward, ready to act at a moment's notice.

Nathan appeared at the door again, looking disgruntled. He walked back to Benedikt, gesturing wildly as he ranted. "Oh my god. Oh my god, you guys will not believe the bullshit I just witnessed with my eyes. The fucking Lazarus-level resurrection I just saw."

"So charming," came a cheerful voice, and a pair of vampires followed Nathan into the room. The taller one was pale with bright red hair that fell into his eyes, and the smaller one was dark with black hair tied up in a complicated, braided bun. The red-haired vampire wore simple jeans and a grey t-shirt, but the dark-haired vampire was wearing undeniably Chasecroft colors, a golden yellow jacket over a black dress with forest green boots.

I stood at Benedikt's side, trying to figure out how to react properly to the situation. He looked - stiff, unhappy. The pair approached, and the smaller vampire's dark eyes flicked to me before returning the Benedikt.

"Little brother," she greeted, her expression soft and warm.

"I'm not your brother," Benedikt said, his own expression much colder. Her face crumpled and she pulled back slightly.

"Um? Ouch?"

I shot Benedikt a bewildered look, which he saw out of the corner of his eye. He gestured stiffly towards the woman. "This is Jordan. My father turned her into a vampire. We're not actually siblings."

"Still hurts," Jordan said. She put on a dazzling smile. "Have you heard from Augustine lately? Your actual sibling? Since I don't count apparently, haha, fake laugh to hide the pain."

"No," Benedikt said tersely. I deliberately smoothed out my expression and faced forward again, trying to match his austerity.

Jordan looked baffled by his curtness, and blindly reached back to pull her companion forward, wrapping her arm around his. "I suppose that's… to be expected. But this, um, this is Ashton! I wanted you to meet him."

"Benedikt," Ashton said with a friendly smile. "I've heard so much about you."

"Really?" Benedikt asked. His smile was brittle and didn't reach his eyes. "I've heard nothing about you."

"I told you when I met him," Jordan said, her eyebrows lowered in a disapproving look. "I sent you a letter."

"Oh, yes, the letter. As I recall: met a hottie, hopefully down to fuck, p.s., can I borrow some money?" Benedikt said.

"At least thirty percent of that was said in jest," Jordan insisted. Her arm tightened around Ashton's. "Not the first part, though, obviously."

"Obviously," Benedikt echoed.

"About time an actual Chasecroft showed up," someone said in a stage whisper. There was a brief wave of laughter, cut short when Benedikt's head snapped up to look for the speaker. I followed his gaze to a smiling man with short brown hair, and couldn't keep the grimace off my face. I had to work hard to get my expression under control, consciously smoothing my brow and twisted mouth.

The vampire looked at Benedikt like he was a bug he wouldn't condescend to crush. He turned to Jordan, then, a cheerful smile on his face. "You are here for that purpose, aren't you, my lady? To let us move on from this… embarrassment… and go forward."

Jordan watched Benedikt's face for a long moment, then turned her head slightly - not enough to face the speaker, but enough to speak to him. "Who are you?"

"Gerard Thomas, my lady, at your service," he said.

"Gerard Thomas," Jordan replied, tasting the name in her mouth. "Fuck off."

He looked startled, his shoulders raising instinctively. "My lady?"

Jordan's arm tightened around Ashton's, facing forward again. Her expression was stony, but her tone was light. "I said fuck off. Are you deaf?"

"I don't understand," Gerard insisted, obviously perplexed. "You have come here to take Chasecroft from this half-breed, didn't you?"

Benedikt was still standing tall, but his face was... disappointed. Defeated. Tired. He didn't speak, even when Nathan glanced up at him for direction. The vampireling looked urgent, trying to will Benedikt to say something - either to give him an order or to defend himself, I wasn't sure. Benedikt didn't look at him.

The moment of silence was broken by Millecent's scoff. "Such half-hearted sedition. Nathan, deal with this."

Nathan lunged, yanked Gerard off balance, and the vampire let out a shout as he landed on his back. Nathan straddled his chest, pulled something off his belt, and-

I managed not to scream as Nathan plunged a knife into Gerard's chest, as the blade fell again and again, as Gerard shrieked and gurgled... but I did recoil. Cassandra caught me, turned me so I could hide my eyes against her shoulder. This didn't shield me from the noises, however.

After a few moments the screaming stopped, and then so did the thick, wet sounds of the knife.

I turned my head slightly, watched as Nathan bounced to his feet and licked blood off his hands. Jordan gave Benedikt an unhappy look, but he ignored her.

He looked out at his guests, his expression carefully neutral. "Thank you all for coming. The party is over."

The group dispersed quickly, murmuring as they eyed Gerard Thomas's corpse. Cassandra let me go and reached out to Benedikt, and he stiffened under her touch. "I can stay, precious."

"That would be unwise," he said tersely, and Cassandra's hand jerked away from him. For a moment she looked hurt, but she gave him a tight smile.

"Of course. Thank you for the invitation, Master Benedikt."

She was the last guest to leave, and I noticed her pause at the door. She shifted slightly, as if she wanted to look back, but then she straightened up and walked out.

Jordan and Ashton remained, staring down at the mutilated body. Jordan ran her hand over her face, sighing heavily.

"So, not the worst party I've ever been to," Nathan said lightly, still sucking blood from between his fingers.

"Certainly," James agreed.

"I can only hope you learn from this, Benedikt," Millecent said. Her voice was smug, and she gave Benedikt a knowing look. "Perhaps next time you will trust my judgement."

"Oh, your judgement?" he demanded, turning to snarl at her. I flinched at the hard edge to his voice. "What, you knew the prodigal daughter would return to ruin my night?"

Jordan looked up sharply. "I didn't mean for this to happen!"

"Of course you didn't! Because you never think about the consequences of your actions!" Benedikt spat. My hands twisted together anxiously.

"I didn't even know you were having a party - I came to visit," Jordan said, trying very hard to keep her voice calm. Ashton rested his hand on the small of her back, and that seemed to fortify her. "I came to see you."

"After fifteen years, you came to see me." Benedikt barked out a laugh. His eyes were manic, and he raked a hand through his hair. "I suppose you were just in the neighborhood."

"I don't want to fight with you."

"What do you want, then?"

"You're frightening Jane," James cut in quietly, and Benedikt glanced down at me. I couldn't hide the miserable expression on my face, the way my fingers were woven tightly together and my shoulders hunched as if to protect myself from a blow.

Benedikt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly, then looked at Jordan. He was stiff, but the fury was set aside for now. "We'll talk about this later."

Jordan gave him a weak smile. "I would like that."

"Millecent," Benedikt said.

"I'll have this mess cleaned up," Millecent said. "And see to it that Jordan and her companion have a room, if you like."

"I would. I'm going to my room. Come, Jane."

I followed after him as he stalked out, careful not to look at the body as we left the ballroom.

What was I supposed to say? Should I say anything? Benedikt didn't look at me. When Rider or Vanessa were angry I knew that they would lash out, but my new master was an enigma.

I should have known that living with aristocrats would be complicated. I had been blinded by their measured words, by the dresses and the food they gave me. By that - by that damned book Millecent had given me. I was an idiot.

"Why are you crying?"

I looked up, startled, then reached up to touch my face. My fingertips came away wet. "I - I'm sorry, master."

Benedikt did not look satisfied with that answer. "I didn't ask for an apology."

"I…" I wiped at my eyes, but all that did was smear my makeup. I stared mournfully down at the gold eyeliner that was now smudged across my hand. He didn't seem angry at me, but when had that ever mattered?

And really, it would be easy for him to be mad at me. The party he had thrown to celebrate finding me was ruined. If he hadn't taken me, he wouldn't have thrown the party at all, and he wouldn't have been questioned, and -

He wouldn't have been publicly embarrassed if it wasn't for me.

"Jane-"

"I'm sorry this happened," I said, my voice thick with tears. "It's my fault, but I - I didn't want this to happen."

"Your fault?" I looked up at him, and he looked completely baffled. "How is this your fault?"

My gut twisted with apprehension. Rider and Vanessa would have been blaming me by now. Did he - did he want me to say it? Admit my guilt? I looked back down to my hands, unable to meet his eyes.

I worked very hard to speak clearly, to keep the tears from choking me. "You did this to show me off - if you hadn't t-taken me, this wouldn't have happened. I'm - I'm so sorry."

Silence. Then-

"Oh, Christ," Benedikt finally said, and I looked up at him again. He gave me a crooked smile, and I realized for the first time that his canines were longer, sharper than I had thought. "I think you might actually be crazier than me."

"I - I don't-"

"Come on," he said, guiding me into my room. His arm was around my shoulders, and I couldn't keep myself from pressing up against his chest. He wasn't hitting, he wasn't hurting, he was- "Let's wash your face, alright?"

I nodded sharply, squeezing my eyes shut to stop the flow of tears. When I opened them we were in my bathroom, and Benedikt released me to pick up a washcloth and run it under cold water. I watched as he carefully soaked it, wrung it out, then turned to wipe gingerly at my face. His ministrations were gentle, unhurried, and soon enough my face was clean and cool. I stared up at him, entranced by his attention.

Benedikt flicked the washcloth into the sink and set to undoing my braid, carefully removing the beads and setting them aside. Once that was done he led me back into my room. He sat me down on my bed, and to my utter horror he knelt down in front of me and reached for my foot. "What are - you don't have to-"

"I'm sorry for scaring you, Jane," he said, unlacing first one shoe, then the other. He pulled them off and set them aside. His palm was pressed to my bare ankle, and my toes curled. "That was unnecessary."

"This is unnecessary," I insisted. He looked up at me, and there was - there was no anger on his face, no frustration.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I'll stop, if you prefer."

Was this why Cassandra fawned over him so much? This care, this patience - was this why she pushed the bounds of propriety for him, why she treated him with such kindness and respect despite the nature of his birth?

"I don't want to be any trouble," I told him earnestly.

Millecent's book had a whole chapter on the function of dhampir in vampire society, defining their purpose as silent pawns in a greater game. Rarely seen and never heard, the book said.

"It's no trouble, Jane," he said gently.

Dhampir married each other to broker alliances between their families, they played music and learned to dance and perfected art to entertain them. They did not voice opinions, or preferences. They did not run businesses and lead empires.

The thought came to me, sudden and certain, that I would happily die for Benedikt Chasecroft. It was unreasonable, of course, ridiculous - but as he stood up and brought me my pajamas, I realized that it was absolutely true. The gentleness of his face, the kindness of his actions, that made it true. I was small and weak, but I would protect him with every ounce of strength I had.

"Thank you," I said softly as I took the clothes from him, willing him to understand that the next time someone questioned him I would tear their throat out with my teeth.

"You're very welcome," he said, not seeming to get it. That was alright, I decided. He didn't need to know. "And… thank you, Jane. For letting me fuss over you."

He looked sheepish, reaching up to push his hair back. "It makes me feel better. Nathan's usually the only one who lets me fuss."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. I stood up and tried to shimmy out of my dress, and Benedikt jerked his head to look away from me. "Ah, I can… I'll-"

"You can stay! Just, just give me a-" There! Free! I quickly yanked my pajamas on before dropping back onto the bed. Benedikt kept his eyes averted, but when I looked up I could see the barely-checked smile on his face. "There!"

He looked back at me, his smile fading. "Jane."

"Master?"

He walked back, kneeling in front of me again as he took my hand. "Would you mind - can I-"

He made a frustrated noise, looking up at me from under his lashes. I was struck by the glimmer of his eyes, the way his lips were parted. "I know you're still healing - I shouldn't - I'm very thirsty, Jane."

"You - oh! Of course!" I bared my wrist to him, feeling breathless. "Of course, you don't have to ask, of course you can."

His brow furrowed. "Did Rider and Vanessa not - of course they didn't. You can say no, Jane - and I'll always ask. I promise, I'll always ask."

You can say no.

My mouth was dry, but I forced myself to speak. "You can."

He smiled up at me, and that was… radiant. I barely noticed the blade in his hand, the pinch, the blood welling to the surface before his lips were on my skin. I should have been used to that sensation, the suction, the wet feel of his tongue gliding over my pulse, but I was still dazed as it happened. I leaned forward, my free hand reaching up to rest against the base of his skull as I tried to calm my breathing. His hair was soft between my fingers, his skin warm to the touch.

Benedikt didn't take much, but I was dizzy when he pulled away, mesmerized by the crimson glistening on his lips. He pulled a handkerchief out of his jacket pocket and pressed it to the small wound, his fingers firm. He tied it around my wrist to keep the pressure on, then reached up to push a loose strand of hair out of my face. "Thank you, Jane."

I nodded, feeling lightheaded, and didn't protest when he tucked me into bed. His hand brushed my cheek and I leaned into the touch, nuzzling against his palm. There was a moment of hesitation before he pulled away, and I heard the door close behind him as I drifted to sleep.

x

author's note

Sorry for bein a fvcking monster who never updates. School and work and depression and me being a lazy asshole make writing difficult. Also I just realized that Jane has cried in two consecutive chapters and I want to stress that she's a trauma survivor who is Dealing With Some Shit and not just a crybaby. I'll try to keep her from crying in the next chapter! Speaking of which, I'm going to try posting chapters on the first Sunday of every month. That should give me a reasonable time frame that will be hard for me to weasel out of. :/