Hope people are still reading this, and a great thank you to MaxiP99for your lovely review.
Enjoy :)
Chapter V
Last night, when she had made the decision to confront Jack like this, she had thought about the fact that the school grounds aren't really the best place to fall apart, but she didn't see any other way. So people will see her crying on the way to the restrooms; they will look at her funny, or with pity or with whatever else emotion they care to send her way; they will talk behind her back about the girl that's locked herself in a bathroom stall for the rest of the day; the teachers will reprimand her for skipping class. There's bound to be gossip anyway. So she had grit her teeth and gone off to find him, consequences be damned.
And now that it's finally over, she feels nothing but relieved. There's no heavy need to cry, sob, scream or fall apart hidden underneath the smile she wears on her way back to the cafeteria. She has done her part, he doesn't want to have a part, and it doesn't sting, because she had expected as much. It's what she wanted after all.
She would not deny him the chance to be a father to their (her) child, if he had been so inclined – no, that's childish and immature and just not her. She knows people who spend their time divided between parents who can't stand each other and that had never seemed to matter in the face of the child's well being. She could have dropped them off for weekends and could have brought herself to have a civil conversation regarding all things baby and parenthood, if she had to. She just doesn't necessarily want to.
The smile grows larger when she realizes that she won't have to. She will not deceive her child, or anyone else for that matter, about who the real father is. As much as she loves Andy (purely platonically of course) she's not dragging him into that. At least not like this. If he wants to be there for her and for the baby, she'll gladly accept his help in any capacity he wants to give it. He could ask to be the only dad this child will ever have and she would give that to him in a heartbeat (wait, where had that come from?) but they will not play into Jack's lies just so he won't have to deal with the consequences of his own actions. Jack is that child's biological father, and she will never pretend otherwise, but as long as he doesn't want to acknowledge that, she won't have to deal with him.
That thought has her practically bouncing on her feet when she enters the last place she has seen her best friend in, and plops back into the chair she had vacated thirty minutes earlier. She thought the conversation would take longer and so she had been sure the girls wouldn't see each other again before school is over. Apparently, Andrea had the same thought, for she's completely engrossed in conversation with Emma, heads bend together and is she blushing? They're speaking in hushed whispers, oblivious to the students and teachers around them, their hands inching closer to each other on the table by the second. She knows, Andy and her look the same to passing strangers, and she would probably kill Andrea if she attempted to do it, but Sharon thinks there are definitively two conversations she needs to have. Soon.
Another minute later she feels she's been ignored enough. Clearing her throat rather unnecessarily loud, she laughs when two sets of eyes fix on her, looking like they've been caught doing something wrong. If they had been worried about something like that, Sharon thinks, maybe they should not have been obviously flirting in a room full of people. "I do not ever again want to see one look of doubt passing between the two of you to the state of Andy's and my relationship" If possible, they were blushing even harder. Seems like Emma might not have been as honest about her sexuality as she made out to be.
"I didn't think you'd make it back here before next class" Obviously. And it's completely unnecessary to point out, but it fills the awkward silence Sharon's interruption had caused. The brunet decides to not comment, just looks between the two girls for a moment and then leans back into her seat and makes herself comfortable. They still have another ten minutes before they have to attend their next classes and Sharon knows this will be filled with small talk. No matter the actual status of Andrea and Emma's relationship, Sharon likes the girl and will let her in on her situation soon, but not before she has spoken with Andy. Andrea is aware of that, so she doesn't ask, pretends like this is nothing but a normal Thursday. She'll get her answers tonight at home. She can wait that long.
The two best friends are still thinking about a safe topic for discussion that will fit into the ten minute span they have left, when Emma speaks up. Sharon notices how her fingers had slipped into Andrea's without either of them realizing. "I'm guessing you're going to cheer on your boyfriend tomorrow night" Seems like she's not embarrassed or intimidated by Sharon's comment anymore either. "You mind if we tag along?"
Of course she doesn't, it's been tradition for years to cheer on the boys during their games. It's been another tradition for Sharon to slip down to the field and wish them both luck, and while Jack hadn't played soccer in months Sharon and Andy still sneak off to their usual spot to spend the last five minutes before a game talking. Andrea seems to have passed that information along. And now they're making fun of her. Well, two can play that game.
"I don't know, I will probably be too busy recognizing you're there at all. He has an incredible tongue" And Sharon relishes in the sight of them choking on their own across the table from her. They look like at least ten emotions want to cross their face simultaneously, a thousand questions on their minds and still they can't bring forth one single word. "He uses it to tell the most beautiful of stories" Then she can't hold back the laugh anymore. They look so adorably uncomfortable that she doesn't know what else to do. She's most likely going to pay for that later, but it was worth it anyway. "You'll be at the cafe later?"
"Err.. Yes" Emma, who belatedly realized the questions was directed at her, replies. She opens her mouth to say something more, but Sharon is already on her way to her next class – and Andy.
"Did she just..?" Emma starts.
"Yea..." The bustle of movement around them breaks them out of their confusion and they too, head to the rest of their day's classes.
History is boring, she already knows that, but today, Andy is late, like the rest of the soccer team. She spends the first ten minutes of class drawing random shapes into the margins of her binder until, finally, the door opens and the boys shuffle in, looking exhausted. Andy slumps down into his seat next to her, flashes her a smile and promptly flops his head onto his desk, feigning sleep. Amused, she shakes her head and then starts to poke him in the ribs with her pen. He bears it for a whole thirty seconds, before he grabs for her hand and closes his fingers around it.
His thumb traces invisible shapes over the back of her hand when she leans closer to him and whispers "How was practice?" They're sitting far enough in the back that nobody cares, unless of course they were caught by their teacher. Today, that doesn't seem likely however, since he's far too invested in whatever it is he's teaching at the moment. A bomb dropping on him would probably not distract him.
"Exhausting" Is the answer she gets and he adds a stifled yawn for good measure.
"Are we going to win tomorrow?" She wriggles her hand out off his grasp and deposits the pen she's still been holding onto her desk. Then she reaches back over to lace their fingers properly. He seems more awake all of a sudden.
"God, I hope so." Andy groans, maybe a bit too loud, for the teacher sends a stern glance their way. He is immensely proud of himself when he sees Jack's head turning in their direction as well. "Last game was embarrassing enough" His head drops again and Sharon breaks her hold on his hand once again and instead lightly sifts her fingers through the hairs at the back of his head. It relaxes him and he looks like he could use it. "God, don't stop that"
And so she doesn't. At least until the bell rings and they are dismissed from this particular class. They spend the rest of the day like this, him half-asleep hoping no teacher will notice, her massaging the back of his head and neck with one hand, taking notes with the other. They are talking in whispers about the upcoming game, the victory celebration afterwards and the weekend they had planned together. She's quick to, inconspicuously, divert the conversation away from the question of what she'd been up to during free period, because he knows she's spending all of those with Andrea and it would just make him suspicious if she told him she hadn't this time. It's not long until she tells him everything, but she wants to wait til after the game. She doesn't want to be the distraction that causes them to lose.
And after they're finally released from school for today, she sends him home, because he's tired and exhausted and he needs to be his best tomorrow night and she will miss him terribly but she will survive one afternoon without him.
She drops Andrea and Emma off at the cafe and drives Andy home and when he leans over to kiss her cheek before getting out of the car, she almost tells him right then. Instead, she kisses him back, shoos him out off the car to get some much needed rest and drives away to join the girls.
Conversation seems forced the first few minutes after Sharon arrives. The two younger girls have been chatting away when she'd come in and when she'd sat down at their table they had, again, not realized she had joined them for a moment. And then when they finally did, Andrea didn't know how and what to talk about with Sharon of fear she would just blurt out the question she so desperately wants an answer to. Sharon's mind is preoccupied with when and how best to tell Andy her news, so she doesn't even notice at first. Only when Emma tries, for the third time, to steer the conversation in some direction that would get the talk flowing again, Sharon sends a glare in Andrea's direction. It clearly said Relax and don't do that.
It's Emma, getting up from the table that breaks the other girls' eye contact. "You clearly have something to talk about that I should not hear – no, it's okay, I get it" She adds when Andrea's mouth opens, intent on apologizing. "But this is ridiculous." Both her hands brace themselves on the table and she sternly looks between the two of them. "I'm going to the bathroom, and then maybe I'm getting us all some muffins or cookies. And when I get back, you two will behave like the people I came to know" With that, she leaves, two stunned faces looking after her.
"I really like her" is the first thing Sharon says when Emma is out of sight. Then they burst into laughter. For a moment they both think about letting the conversation rest until tonight when they are comfortably tucked into bed and not in danger of being overheard. But Emma's right, this is ridiculous. They can't even say hello to each other without Andrea wanting to just ask already. When she finally knows how the talk with Jack had gone, she's satisfied enough to let it rest for the time being.
"He's accused me of cheating. Says the child's Andy's" Sharon answers Andrea's silent question with a shrug. She really doesn't care what Jack thinks, as long as he keeps it to himself. As long as he doesn't say anything, she at least won't be called names behind her back. Or to her face – High school can be a vicious place.
"What an ass" Taking a sip of her coffee Andrea stops the even less flattering ways to describe him from slipping out. The cup can't quite hide the smirk though.
"That's what I called him. Twice" she adds, a smile of her own blossoming. This time Andrea laughs. It's a short, high-pitched noise that attracts more attention from fellow customers than she would have liked.
"And you're okay with this?" Pulling herself together she cuddles back into the cushion of her seat. She spots Emma in her periphery standing at the counter, paying for three cherry-chocolate muffins. They don't have long, but by the smile still on her friend's lips she thinks they won't need long – she won't have to comfort a sudden and unexpected crying fit.
"I never wanted him to be part of this baby's life. So as long as he doesn't go around and makes me appear to be a whore, I'm perfectly happy" She squeezes Andrea's hand across the table, conveying just how much she means what she just said and turns around to get her bag from the floor. Taking out her binder, she says "Maybe we should get started with these. I promised Andy I will drop the History work off later"
"That's a great idea" Emma has reappeared at their table, balancing three plates in hand. She pushes one in front of Sharon and Andrea respectively before reclaiming her seat beside the blonde. "We should eat those first, though" No one objects to that.
With Emma joining the group, Andrea doesn't have to do her math homework for herself anymore either and while she has never complained about doing it, today she's glad for it. Sharon and Andy's history assignment is rather boring and trivial and it gives her the opportunity to chance glances across the table to watch out for any signs of sudden mood changes. When she gets an eye roll and a small smile at the fifths time, Andrea decides that it won't come and reverts her attention completely back onto the task at hand – at least until she found Emma's profile more alluring. That earns her a swift but inconspicuous kick in the shins under the table; and that damned knowing wink again. She doesn't stop though.
Hours later, after finished school work, pleasant conversation and maybe more coffee than strictly healthy, Sharon leaves the other two girls waiting in the car parked on the sidewalk to Andy's home and drops of the promised homework. They talk for a while in the open doorway – flirting really, when you ask Andrea and Emma who observe the interaction closely through the car windows – and he only closes the door behind him when they hear a shouts coming up the driveway about them hurrying ( You will see each other again tomorrow, has been said at least twice). He'd let her go with a kiss to the cheek and something else whispered into her ear which brought a smile and a blush to her face – and made the occupant of the car groan.
Does it really matter that your last relationship ended only some weeks ago, when you've been practically dating someone else for a lot longer than that anyway? True, Sharon would never cheat on Jack and Andy would never betray his best friend, so the insinuation has never been spoken aloud while there still was a relationship to cheat on and, also true, they had never kissed or spoken about feelings that shouldn't be there, but the hugging, hand-holding, flirting and coffee sharing (Yes, they'd always done that, much to Jack's annoyance) were a dead give-away to said feelings. And just because they never labeled their relationship as dating (not back when they couldn't, nor now, when they definitively could) doesn't mean their behavior don't imply that they were – they just haven't realized that themselves yet.
Andrea, on the one hand understands why her friend won't jump into another relationship right away (no matter how obvious it already is happening). How would it look when she suddenly showed up officially dating her ex-boyfriend's erstwhile best friend just weeks after the former even became that. What would people say and think? But on the other hand, Andrea's thoughts circled around this one question: Does it really matter? There were obvious feelings there and for a good while and when it makes both of them happier than they had been before, when they both had been loyal to Jack, then again, does it really matter what people think or say?
She tells Sharon as much when they get ready for bed later that night and while the brunette is still in denial about her feelings for Andy in the first place, it gives her something to think about nonetheless.
Sleep comes not immediately, and when she does sleep, it's only short, uncomfortable naps in between thoughts. Andre's curled up on her side next to her, arm slung around her waist. She's mumbling some incoherent nonsense into Sharon's shoulder, making her smile. Andrea has always had a habit of talking in her sleep, making for some great and embarrassing stories to tell whoever's willing to listen. She makes a mental note to convey some of them to Emma. Her girlfriend is entitled to hear all of those humiliating tales.
She sighs at that. Girlfriend. Andrea has the courage to pursue a girl that had made it very clear that she is nothing but straight (obviously a lie, Sharon thinks, though she's not sure if it had been a deliberate one or if Emma just hadn't considered that she was probably at least bisexual), and Sharon wasn't even brave enough to make a relationship with a guy that obviously felt the same way about her than she did him official. It doesn't matter, she concedes, after a rather short and pathetic discussion with herself, but that still doesn't mean she knows how to go about it. She, even if she were so inclined, could not just walk up to him and spill her feelings, spring fatherhood to a baby that's not even his on him and expect him to take her. This isn't a fairy tale.
Oh god, the baby. She hasn't even told him about that yet. There's no way she's initiating any kind of romantic relationship with him before he knew. And after, he wouldn't want her in that regard anymore anyway, so there's no use in stewing over that at all. She finally falls asleep in the early morning, and is promptly awoken three hours later by the unquenchable need to empty the contents of her stomach.
Andrea is there again, in a matter of moments, holding her hair back and whispering comforting words. She lets Andrea have the shower first this morning, falling face first into the soft pillows on their bed. The throwing up and the not sleeping last night have taken a toll on her and she's debating the pros and cons of just getting back to sleep, when Andrea comes back into the bedroom. With a groan Sharon pushes herself back onto her feet and stumbles into the bathroom. She doesn't even bother with clothes today; they're in a neat pile on the dresser where she'd put them last night (she plans to make this a habit since it seems she's going to be way too exhausted in the following mornings to bother with searching the dresser for what to wear) and where they would still be for her to dress in after her shower.
She makes it through two cups of tea – ginger, since it seems to stifle the nausea – and half a slice of toast for breakfast, before she feels her stomach churn again. It settles rather quickly, fortunately, but it had been enough to make her lose her appetite. They leave the house almost an hour before they are required to, this time deliberately, to pick up Emma. It's been another tradition for the last three years, to sneak onto the bleachers and watch the boys at their very last practice before a big game, which is always held before school the day of said game. It's more to boost spirit and get last minute questions and ideas out in the open, than actual soccer, after all, the last thing they need is an injury just before the game, but the girls have enjoyed it anyway. It has always been Sharon and Andrea, sometimes joined by some girl currently dating one of Jack's friends or another boy from the soccer team. Emma has never been among them, but this time she didn't have a choice. Mainly because she hasn't been asked but told to be ready.
Today, it's just the three of them but they don't mind. It's peaceful and quiet out here in the early morning, the only thing breaking the silence are the occasional motivational screams from down on the field. They are hiding in their usual spot, since practice is still closed to the public, but Andy sees them right away. He kicks the ball a little too hard and completely off target, sheepishly excuses himself and jogs over to retrieve it.
"Didn't think you would make it today" he greets them all with a smile and a quick kiss to the cheek. He doesn't have much time, if he takes too long, the coach would get suspicious and see them.
"You didn't really think we would miss this?!" The obviously fake expression of shock on Sharon's face has him laugh.
He rolls the ball before him with a practiced flick of his foot. "I'll see you in class. And you at lunch" he adds with his trademark smile. Then he leans forward and kisses her softly, the motion so effortlessly like they'd done this a million times before already, that it takes all four of them a moment to process that this, in fact, did not happen regularly. He's turned around and halfway across the field before the situation had really sunk in. Sharon just stares after him, both her hands held up in a manner of stopping the two girl standing on either side of her to say something. She needs to process this for herself first.
It's on their way from the soccer field to school when Andrea finally asks. Sharon has been quiet since Andy had kissed her, watching him practice some difficult passes with Julio, not really seeing anything at all, engulfed in her own thoughts.
"When did that happen?", she tries to hide the accusation in her voice, because she thought she would be the first to know when something would finally change between them. She's not sure if she succeeds, but it at least gets Sharon's attention so she doesn't care.
"You were just there" She's still not a hundred percent immersed in the conversation, her mind still preoccupied with Andy and that kiss and the fact that she, just last night, came to the decision, that she would talk to him about them after he knows she's pregnant – if he'd still want her then.
"That did not look like the first time he's kissed you good-bye" Emma, helpfully, throws in from her other side. And then she realizes, that that was probably why he'd done it. They had been behaving like a couple for the better part of – god, Sharon doesn't even want to admit how long – that it just felt natural to kiss his girlfriend good-bye. Except that she's not his girlfriend. But it seems like it doesn't matter if or how they label it, in the most basic description of the word, she guesses she is. Has been for a while. That's not to say they won't have to talk about this development. Especially after she drops her bombshell on him.
She knows he will be there for her, won't abandon her just because she made one stupid mistake, but lending friendly support and committing to be a father are like day and night. She won't do this to him. If, and she's still convinced he wouldn't, he chose to have her still, be a father to the child that's not his, she'd be immensely happy. Last night, she had also finally admitted to herself that she might actually already be in love with her best friend and after he kissed her just now she thinks he might be on the same page. It would still be his decision. If he isn't ready to care for a child, she won't hold it against him, because she understands.
The school bell brings her back to the present and she realizes she's been spaced out for some time. Two concerned pairs of eyes resting on her intently. "I swear, I've never kissed him before" And they don't ask any more questions. "I'll see you later" Four arms embrace her at once. "And please..."
"We won't say a word" Andrea cuts her off.
"For now" Emma is quick to add, because she might not have been included in their little group for that long, but she's learned pretty fast that she is allowed to say things like that now; is expected to meddle in the personal life of her three friends. Then they vanish into the crowd and Sharon turns in the opposite direction, simultaneously dreading the minutes she would have to endure class without Andy and the moment he would join class after showering.
As it turns out, nothing changes in their class routine. He slumps into his seat, flashes her a smile, rummages in his bag for his binder and books and then he's babbling about the most trivial of things and the upcoming game, effectively distracting Sharon from actually learning anything. He never mentions kissing her, and she doesn't either. And right in this moment she's glad for it, since it gives her more time to sort out her own thoughts about the matter.
Lunch turns into an impromptu pre-winning celebration, with half the school cheering on and the other half insisting it being bad luck. The boys from the soccer team don't seem to care whether it actually is or not, as long as they have an excuse to be the center of attention. Just before the bell announces the start of the second half of their day, a general invitation to the after game party is shouted through the cafeteria and then the noise abates as they all make their way to their respective classes.
The younger girls meet up with Andy and Sharon on the front steps to school in the afternoon, where they chat for another five minutes before Andy takes his leave, refusing Sharon's offer of driving him, to get ready for tonight.
"Will I see you before the game?" He gives Andrea and Emma a hug, but it's clear he's talking to Sharon.
"Like always" she promises and returns his embrace. He doesn't kiss her this time.
They drive by Emma's for her to pick up her things she's already put by the front door last night. They have some quick words with the girl's mother, promising not to get into too much trouble over the weekend and then they're on their way home.
There's been no question of whether or not the three of them would get ready for the night together and Andrea's parents seem to have realized that, too. When they enter the house there are two large pizza's and three plates sitting on the kitchen counter with a note to have fun. The girls and Andy would be alone this weekend and they are welcome to use the master bedroom, too, since they won't fit four people's sleeping arrangements otherwise. With a mischievous smirk Andrea thanks her parents for this generosity; ever since they have been kids, an invitation into her parent's bedroom also included an invitation into her mother's closet – at least in their minds.
The pizza eaten and the little housework that is to be done finished, Andrea drags both her friends up the stairs and they spend the next hour sifting through clothes that haven't been worn in ages. Sometimes the girls are sure the only reason they haven't ended up in the trash or at good-will yet is exactly this situation.
Sharon drives them back to school another hour later, still too early for the actual game, but the parking lot and the bleachers are already packed. She accompanies the two younger girls to find suitable seats, preferably down close to the field (and Andy), or at least somewhere with a good view and where Andy would be able find them with his eyes easily. Then she's off to meet Andy.
He's late and when he finally shows up he sweeps her up in a tight embrace and that's all the apology she needs. She never thought he wouldn't show.
"Coach kept on talking, couldn't sneak away earlier. Sorry" he explains anyway after he's let go of her.
"That's okay, I knew you'd come" she leans against the wall behind her, takes both his hands in hers and smiles up at him. "You wouldn't dare not to" Her eyelids flutter innocently.
Andy looks at her affronted, raises their joined hands in between them as if to give his next sentence more meaning by flinging his hands through the air, squares his shoulders as if he was about to chew he out for something, takes a deep breath... and deflates. "Yea, that's true" A shrug of his shoulder and she's laughing at him.
"I know you too well to know that that was all pretense there by the way" Of course he hasn't been about to shout at her, or was even hurt by what she'd said, but he can be pretty intimidating if he wants to. At least when you don't know he doesn't mean it.
"Yea, that's probably true, too" He steps closer to her, lets their hands fall back to her sides. His eyes are fixed on her face, moving from her eyes, to the delicate curve of her cheek, to her mouth and back. He hears her breath hitch, but he doesn't want to just assume it's in anticipation to what he really wants to do right now. "Look Sharon, about earlier, I'm..."
She's leaned forward and kissed him. She doesn't want to hear he's sorry, because she's not. This is everything she, last night, told herself won't happen – at least not yet. All of this fades when she draws back, opens her eyes and sees the smile on his face. "Good luck"
And then she ducks under the arms that have come up to steady him against the wall on either side of her and, with a smile of her own, finds her seat to cheer on her boyfriend.
Okay guys, that turned out completely different than I had in mind, but i'm still pleased with the outcome, since I actually think this is at lengths better than what I had originally planned. Unfortunately this also means you will have to wait another chapter for THE TALK but this has gotten so long already, that I decided to give it a new chapter of it's own.