In celebration of the new amazing episode we got today, I decided to give you this chapter I wanted to get out yesterday... ahem... but I kinda might have fallen asleep while writing... ahem
I do say thank you for the lovely comments and reviews. So glad you like this :)
anyway, read and enjoy
Chapter VI
"What has you in such a good mood before we've even won?"
They had found seats directly at the field, immediately behind their team bench, meaning Sharon had to make her way through a throng of already seated people. This in itself should be annoying enough, but the fact that those people happened to be uninterested first-years, only here because someone told them they had to show school spirit, only made it worse. They were occupying every available space from the seat right next to Emma to the center aisle, shoving each other and punching shoulders of everyone not quick enough to get out off the way. Emma and Andrea had already dodged several attempts at conversation and more than one invitation to join in on their celebration. They were way too loud, and annoying and obnoxious and completely not interested in rooting for their soccer team; only in their own party.
The two younger girls watch as Sharon strips off her jacket, sleeve drenched in something sticky and foul smelling where one of them had spilled something on her, but not even that seems to erase the smile permanently edged on her face. And there's only one thing the both of them could think of that can do that. A knowing smirk passes between them, but Sharon has to be the one to say it this time.
"My boyfriend" It's casual, thrown over her shoulder with a shrug while she makes herself comfortable next to Andrea. Her friends had given her the choice of all three seats when she showed up, but Andrea and Emma already looked so comfortable sitting next to each other, shoulders and knees touching, heads bend together for the occasional joke or laugh. So she finds herself unconsciously directly in the line of girlfriends of their players who aren't as interested in the actual game and more in their partners. It's not like Sharon herself had ever been that interested in soccer. She likes watching the occasional game and she likes to casually kick some ball in the park or backyard or the season's first training, but that had all always just been for fun. As soon as it comes to actual rules and regulations, she's more interested in watching Andy work the field and supporting him.
Comfortable enough, she leans her head on Andrea's shoulder, just contend in remembering kissing Andy and listening to the soft murmur of the girls' conversation. Somehow, she should have known that was not what her friends had in mind though.
"So it's official?" Emma leans around Andrea to get a better look at Sharon. She looks happy enough.
"We haven't talked about anything yet" Here, she sends a meaningful glance at the blonde girl sitting directly beside her, fleeting enough that Emma doesn't notice. At least she hopes so, but then, Sharon has also came to realize, that Emma is curious, but not nosy. She won't pry, even if she had seen the look passing between her friends and, more importantly, she won't get mad for not being kept in the loop about something. She knows Sharon and Andrea go a long way back and when the time should come where they will share whatever they are hiding, Emma has no problem waiting til then.
Andrea, of course, is aware that the anything Sharon is referring to is not the relationship part (it's pretty obvious that there would be one when the two finally realized their feelings) but rather the pregnancy part. So she doesn't ask the question that, under different circumstances, would occupy her mind right now. What the hell are you waiting for? just doesn't seem appropriate somehow.
"But you will?" It's innocent enough that no one would notice that she's asking about more than the official status of their relationship. Leaning back into her seat, she props her legs against the railing in front of her and drapes an arm around both of her friend's shoulders. Two brunette heads land, with a sigh of contentment on her own shoulders.
"Tonight" Sharon states confident. No matter what else happens today; they win or lose, Andy wants her or not; she is going to tell him today. "Maybe I will have another talk, too" Her eyes shift to Emma for a fraction of a second, and Andrea can't even see that with her head on the blonde's shoulder, but somehow Sharon thinks she understands.
There's been a debate going on in her head for days now, about the best and right time to tell Andy her news. Originally, she had pushed the inevitable conversation back until she had official confirmation (not that she really needed it). After that she wanted Jack to know first, if for nothing else than for proprieties's sake. Then suddenly, there was no reason to delay it any longer and she started to imagine how to tell him, pushing the when farther back in her mind. It's not like she expects him to turn on his heels and abandon their friendship, but she's still scared he would judge her. He's never given her reason to fear that, but rationality kind of went out the window when she found out she was pregnant.
And then came the moment she realized she was in love with Andy and all of a sudden she had to tell him. She didn't want to go on pretending like what they have is nothing more than a close friendship, when it is so obviously clear that it just isn't. But could she tell him about her feelings without him knowing about the baby? The answer, she decided, is no. He was to get the full picture before she so much as hinted at a romantic relationship. And then he could chose.
With her kissing him fifteen minutes ago, that of course did not turn out at all like she had planned it would, but still, before anything else will be discussed, she'll tell him.
What she hadn't planned on, however, was having that particular conversation tonight, at a party that would either celebrate their victory or heal bruised egos. They had the whole weekend together, she could have found a few minutes to sneak him away from Andrea and Emma, to talk. Hell, she was probably going to share his bed tonight anyway, where they would have been alone for hours, giving her enough time to spill her secret in the morning before they got up.
But that – the morning – was the exact problem.
She's been puking her guts out for the last two days, and that will definitely not stop over the weekend, just because she'll be in the company of people she hasn't been honest with yet. That's why she relents to telling Emma sooner than she had planned to, too. There's just no way of hiding it from them any longer.
"You sure?" One of Andrea's hands is curling strands of Emma's dark hair around her fingers, smoothing it out again, softly tugging on the end, then curling it back in. One of Emma's is tracing patterns on Andrea's naked skin through a strategically placed hole in the fabric at her knee. Sharon just nods her head in answer, lacing her fingers through the ones laid out on her shoulder. Right in this moment, she feels happier than she can honestly say she's felt in a while.
When the boys enter the field, there's a general uproar moving through the crowd. The girls abandon their comfortable position for the time being, leaning over the railing and cheering on their team, along with the rest of the school. Sharon catches Andy's eyes, he's been searching for her, and smiles. She mouths another good luck in his direction, stopping herself just short of adding I love you, because that wouldn't have been awkward and distracting at all. Then he winks at her, smiles at all three of them and moves over to find his place on the field. A moment later the girls are cuddled back together in their seats waiting for the whistle to commence the game.
As it turns out, they are way better prepared for this game than they had been for the last, scoring two goals within the first twenty minutes. Andy had told them they had underestimated the rival team last time because they had always been a joke to play against. But apparently, they had upped their team, exchanging players and coach and worked their way up to a respectable squad. That's what had made the loss so incredibly humiliating for all of them.
Learning form their mistake, they had decided to never take a win for granted anymore and to never belittle another team anymore, and it seems like this devise payed out. At least until the rival team found their footing and managed to take the lead by one goal just before half-time. That dampens the cheery mood all around significantly and Sharon's pretty sure she sees people leave to go home when the half-time sound finally rings. So much for believing in our team, she thinks, just before she sees Andy make his way over to them.
He follows the four other boys headed for the bench and their positions and Sharon detangles her limbs from Andrea's to stand up. The girls next to her are already giddily waiting for a hug a and kiss from their respective boyfriends, leaning far enough over the rail to almost fall over. Sharon is nervous, because he hasn't done this before and since they haven't talked about either kiss yet, she hasn't been sure where exactly they stand right now. But Andy is confident when he steps up on the bench to be almost level with Sharon and pulls her into a tight embrace. When he pulls back, his lips graze her cheek softly and without thinking, she grabs onto the front of his tricot and kisses him properly. He smiles against her lips, capturing them again briefly as she tries to draw back. She can't tell what he's thinking, but she's about to say I love you again, biting her lips to keep the words from spilling out. She fears this will become a problem of she doesn't say it soon.
"See you after the game?" He knows he will, but he needs to say something, anything, before he makes a fool out of himself in front of the whole school.
"I'll be there" Then he's kissing her again and is off to the locker rooms to join the rest of his team.
With a dreamy look on her face she watches him fade into the leaving crowd and then finds her seat beside Andrea again. And when she turns to ask if any of them would like something to drink or to snack on, she can't hide the laughter spilling out. Two pairs of eyes focus on her, mouths hanging open in wonder. Seems like Sharon hasn't just surprised herself with her actions.
Emma's mouth closes and opens multiple times, trying to find the words to form the question she wants to ask but nothing leaves her lips. There is no way, that kiss earlier this morning had been their first one ever. They are way too familiar with the act.
"Three times" Sharon decides to take pity on the girl. She knows they don't believe her, but she doesn't mind, because at least she knows it's the truth. "And what you just witnessed is all we ever did" She adds, preempting Andrea's question as well. She's learned the hard way, that kissing somebody does not necessarily have to involve a lot of feelings (the only thing Jack had tried to achieve with the busty blonde had been to get her into bed and he hasn't seen her since). Still, she wants the first time she's really kissing Andy to be more special than a short exploration between two half's of a soccer match. She's distracted enough by the thought of remedying that tonight as well, that she misses the unbelieving looks shared between the other two.
Believing or not, they let the subject drop, interested way more in letting Sharon and Andy talk all of these developments over and then sitting them down and teasing them officially. So they fall back into light conversation and banter, wherein Sharon decides to drop the fact that Emma and Andrea have been holding hands for the last thirty minutes, too.
It's another agonizing forty five minutes that drag on forever, followed by five full minutes of overtime which has everyone out of their seats. Even the first-years next to them had found their interest in the ongoing game and are shouting encouragements across the field or emit groans of frustration when the ball don't hit the goal – or the wrong one. The audience from the rival school is already celebrating their victory loudly – and no wonder with only three minutes left on the regular clock – when Andy hits the goal to even the scores. It seems to be the wake-up call their school and the team needed, for there suddenly is a hopeful and joyful vibe in the crowd that hasn't been there for almost the complete second half of the game. And when the referee doesn't blow the final whistle to end the game in a hard-earned tie, Julio ceases the opportunity to score the winning goal just seconds before the time's up.
The teams are ushered from the field and into the locker rooms after a thorough but brief victory celebration, all of them keeping in mind, that the real one is held in an hour at the Captain's house. The boys are joined on the field by the school's cheerleaders and the proud girlfriends. Sharon doesn't join and Andy catches her eyes, smiles, and nods his head in understanding. There's always next time.
She's been thinking about it for a moment. It would have been the perfect opportunity for their first proper kiss, congratulating him on a well-deserved win, but before she makes out with him in front of the whole school, they need to have that talk first; about the baby and the relationship.
Instead, she leaves the stands with Andrea and Emma (hand in hand; she definitely needs to have a talk there) and heads for her car. They aren't going to wait for Andy, since he is obligated to show up at their party with the rest of the team to participate in the winning 'ceremony'. The party location is open for guests to arrive since half an hour ago, even without the host present, but the three girls drive by Andrea's house first to change into something at the same time more party-ish and more comfortable. After all, they were still allowed to rummage through her mother's clothes. That takes just enough time to have them arrive minutes before the boys do.
The so called winning ceremony consists of the cheerleaders lining the walkway from the sidewalk to the doorway, reciting their school song and throwing golden confetti over the boys making their way inside. It's said to be school tradition for decades, no one knows who initially came up with it, but it stuck around – and it's admittedly fun to watch. It's also rumored that the golden color of the confetti was specifically chosen because it would match almost every clothing item one of the players' girls could wear. The matching part seems to be true enough she knows, since she has been covered in it more often than she's willing to admit after she's been celebrating with Jack and the others. She smiles, maybe she won't have to miss this one after all.
Andy finds them a quarter of an hour later, comfortably tugged into a corner, chatting with some random girl he hasn't seen before. "Is it okay if I steal her for a moment?" She feels his body right behind her, an arm loosely draped around her waist. His lips land on her cheek before she can even turn her head to accept them with her own.
"As if you have to ask" Emma gives him permission. Her head leaning on Andrea's shoulder she says a quick good-bye to the unknown girl who's obviously eager to escape the crowd. "Congratulations on the win" Then he's suddenly surrounded by the two girls, hugging him tight, squeezing Sharon in between them for a moment.
When they pull back, Andrea makes a small gesture with her hands for them to leave. "Go ahead" she ads with a smile at Sharon.
Andy doesn't move. He's dying for a moment alone with her, to be with her, to talk with her, to maybe kiss her, but he's not pushing her into something she doesn't want to do. If she wants to stay and not talk, then he won't make her. "We'll be back" he hears her say before she takes his hand and leads him into the crowd.
"I sure hope so, you are driving" They are not sure who called that after them.
"So where are we going?" Sharon stops in the hallway leading upstairs to the off-limits family rooms and a downstairs bathroom and guest bedroom. She hadn't thought about that when she led him away. That was his idea, so he probably had a destination in mind.
"Nowhere really" He answers with a kind-of cryptic smile and pulls her into one of the two doors lining the corridor. She realized it's the bedroom when his hand finds the light switch and her eyes find the comfy bed. For a moment her gaze flickers from him to the bed and back, not sure what to say or think, holding her breath. "First of all" he starts "this is not what it looks like" She feels herself exhale and relaxes against the door at her back. She's not even sure she would have said no if this was what it looked like. That scares her just a little. "I just really wanted to kiss you, and I know we did that earlier in front of people but I didn't know...didn't want to assume..."
She cuts off his rambling by pulling him forward and pressing her lips to his. It's cute that he doesn't want to just assume she wants him to kiss her again, in public or not, but how could he not know that right in this moment there's nothing she would want more? He smiles into the kiss, his hands coming up to frame her face; doesn't know what else to do with them, too afraid he'll push her too far. And then he doesn't think at all anymore, when she opens her lips under his and lets her tongue meet his for the first time. It's stupid, this is just a kiss, but she feels like she's died and been reborn again, floating and drowning at the same time and a thousand other emotions she can't put a name to. She feels his hands all over her body, too much and not enough and when she melts back into the door he follows. Hands on the soft skin under her shirt (her's are somewhere much the same on his body) he pushes her further back, steps between her thighs, one leg unconsciously pressing against her just right... and suddenly she's pushing him away with a force she has no idea she possess.
"Wait. Stop" she says unnecessary, skirting around him to get some space between them.
"I'm sorry. Sharon, I didn't mean to..." She sees his face fall and for a moment she thinks about stepping back into his arms and ignoring the pressing matter of their conversation.
"No, don't" It's the wrong thing to say, so she hurries on before he b´can make up his mind and decides to leave. "I'm sorry Andy. This doesn't mean I don't want this." It's the first time either of them said it out loud. But it seems to be what he needs to hear. She searches his eyes, holds them for a long moment, before she lets out a breath and continues. "Shit, this was not how I imagined this conversation would go, but we need to talk" The look he sends her clearly says you think so? Another breath and she phrases it differently "I need to tell you something and you have to promise me you won't judge. If you still want to be with me after, maybe we should have that conversation, too" She's still convinced that this conversation won't be happening.
"You're scaring me" he says, walking over to the bed where she's found a seat during her talking, and taking her hand in his. He takes it as a good sign when she doesn't pull away. "What's going on?"
"You know why I ended things with Jack. What made you finally ditch him?" They've never really stopped being friends, even in the days Andy was still hanging around Jack, but they had never really talked about that. Andy's told the basics of it, and that was good enough for Sharon. For some reason, now, she needs to know.
"Because I didn't like the way he was treating you" It's simple and the truth but he can sense it's not what she wants to hear.
"How long have you known?" Sharon throws in, interrupting whatever he was about to say, because she wants an answer to that and when she let's him go on talking right now, she might never get one.
"Found out about a week before you did"
She wants to ask why he didn't say anything before, but it's not really her place. He was first and foremost his friend and he was under no obligation to tell her anything. He recognizes her attempt not to say it, appreciates it even, but he thinks he needs to tell her nevertheless.
"Jack and I have been best friends since the day he started school here, there are just some things you can't toss away like that" He states, hopes she understands what he is saying. She does, encourages him with a nod of her head to go on " I needed a while to wrap my head around what I knew and who was more important to me. My best friend, or his girlfriend, whom I have a stupid crush on" It's the first time he admitted it in so many words. "Then he came talking about that bitch that just dumped him – like you guys haven't been dating for four years, like I didn't know and liked you – and that she even had the nerve of accusing him of cheating. That's when I made my decision." He drags a hand over his face and lets out a breath. "I mean, he didn't even admit it"
"But you knew the truth" she supplies. No question, just a fact.
"Yea" he shakes his head yes. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this though" If he had only come to her sooner, she could have been spared at least some heartache.
"This is not your fault Andy" She traces her thump over the back of his hand, still linked with her's. "He was the one cheating and you were just trying to be a good friend."
"Still.."
"No, I don't blame you for that" She squeezes his hand softly and leans over to kiss his lips briefly. She's not finished, but she needs the reassurance as much as he does.
He's about to ask what all this is about, when she breaks the silence that had settled over them with the answer. "I'm pregnant"
His head snaps upward, searching her eyes and he doesn't know what to say. Jack had bragged about finally getting her into bed, but to his knowledge this only happened once. That's no excuse, he knows, but still this seems like she's messing with him. He knows her though, she won't joke about things like that. He thinks she's way too catholic to be pregnant at eighteen, too, but then, she has been way too catholic to be sleeping with a guy she's not married to, also.
"Does he know?" She's immensely glad he doesn't patronize her or shower her with empty platitudes. She knows how fucked up this is, without people, like her parents, pointing it out. She's also glad he doesn't question the baby's parentage. Contrary to Jack, who doesn't believe it either but finds it easier to pretend she's been the one cheating, Andy seems to know she's not like that.
"Told him yesterday" Their joined hands become suddenly way more interesting. "Accused me of cheating with you actually"
"What an ass" Then she actually laughs.
"Why does everybody keep calling him that?" It's a rhetorical question. "I called him that more than once"
"Because it's the truth" He joins in her laughter for a moment, then he scoots fully onto the bed, resting against the headboard. "Come here" He tugs their joined hands, and she gladly cuddles into his side.
"I'm assuming Andrea knows?" It's not quite a question. He thinks he probably know when she found out, the weekend where they lied about what they did and her cryptic explanation all too clear in his mind. He hadn't blamed them then, but even if he had, that's all in the past now. He wouldn't have gone around telling those news to everyone either.
"Her parents, too. I'm kinda living with them" They had told him that would be their new senior year tradition, Sharon picking up Andrea every morning, because come next school year Andrea would be alone. "My parents completely freaked out"
He can see that, actually. He still asks, mainly just to get the conversation flowing. "What do you mean freaked out?" She doesn't have to tell him, he can picture their reactions in his mind's eye without difficulty.
"Haven't spoken to them in a week" Her shoulders move up and down in a non-committal shrug. This is going better than she had anticipated. At least the baby talk – they haven't broached the relationship talk yet. She tenses up, he feels her body go stiff next to him and that's the moment he seems to realize that, too.
He moves, pushes her just that much away from him so he can look into her eyes. When she evades his gaze, he lightly takes her chin in his hand and lifts it to his face. "You think I wouldn't want to be with you because of that?"
"Well, yes" Nothing more than a whisper. She would have said nothing at all, only nodded in confirmation, but his hold on her prevents her from moving her head.
"Why ever would you think such a thing?" He has no doubt she is serious, but he doesn't understand why.
"Because I'm pregnant with Jack's baby and I plan on keeping it, on raising it myself. Even if you could overlook the fact whos child this is, it's still a big responsibility to care for a child, especially with us going of to college soon and you have your whole future planned out for yourself. It would be selfish of me to trap you in a relationship you didn't want, to spring a baby on you that's not even yours just because I love you" She doesn't realize what she just said, but he does. There's a smile growing on his face that irritates her enough to stop rambling. "What?"
"I would care for you and a hundred children, regardless of who their father might be. I've been in love with you for longer than I should probably admit already, and if being with you comes with the responsibilities of fatherhood, then I will still be there for you. I will care for you and that baby, and I will love you both. Unconditionally"
She doesn't say anything to that, doesn't know what to say, but she falls forward into his arms when he reaches up to brush the tears from her cheeks. Andy lets her cry into his shirt for what feels like hours, until he can feel her relax under his touch. Then she's suddenly in his face, her lips on his, pushing him onto his back, her hips holding him firmly in place under her and she's kissing him like she's been dreaming about; like she should have done months ago.