Not-So-Funhouse

I was taking a shower. The water was so pleasantly hot. It felt great! I was just starting to wash the shampoo out of my hair when I heard the bathroom door open. I ducked away from the spray and pushed my hair away from my ears since I couldn't open my eyes. "Harley, is that you?" I shouted over my music. No answer. I sniffed but the air in the room was heavy and steamy, messing up my sense of smell.

"Harley?" I called again. I heard the shower door opened and a hand grabbed my face, covering my mouth. Instantly guessing who it was I ended up spazzing out and slamming backwards into the wall. I screamed and swatted his hand away only to get a stream of water running into my mouth. I spat it out.

"Joker!" I raged, still unable to see. "What the hell?! Get out of here!" I covered my breasts and wrapped my tail around my legs. As I tried to wash my burning eyes clean I heard his irritating laugh joined by another.

"Really guys?! For real?!" I shrieked in surprise as Joker pulled me back under the water and started working the shampoo out of my hair. I couldn't object or I'd get more in my mouth. He shoved me aside when he was finished and I wiped at my eyes, getting them open just in time to see him under the spray himself. I turned away trying to keep my composure and looked as Harley. Yes, my shower stall is big enough for all three of us to be in at once!

"Hi!" Harley waved.

"Hi, um...did your shower blow up or something? Cause I'm wondering what you're both doing here?!"

"Oh, well this is what you get for sneaking out with me last night!" Harley explained. "Mistah J knows that you suffer from social anxiety and like your space so he's invading it as punishment! Yup!" She finished as I continued to stare at her in disbelief.

I made an uncomfortable sound and turned for the door. "No! No, I am not doing this!"

I was just about to escape when Joker man handled me by picking me up and over his shoulder. I screamed and curled into carry position trying to grab anything solid. In the end my claws found a place in his shoulder.

"Put me down! You're gonna drop me!"

"I might," Joker joked and pretended to drop me but didn't, earning another scream. "So behave, little kitty!"

"Ok! Just please leave!" I begged. But he just set me down and proceeded to wash Harley's hair. He was now between me and the exit.

"I want to die! I'm about to strangle myself with the shower cord!" I threatened from my spot on the floor.

Joker reached out and hit me on the head. "Quiet!"

I sucked my teeth and sulked. When he finished with Harley he had her sit on the bench and motioned for me to come forward. I stared at him in defiance.

"I will wash myself-OW!" I was interrupted by him pulling me over by my leg and tail. He stood me up and made me face him.

"I will not ask twice. I don't even ask once. Next time, use those fast reflexes of yours!"

I cringed as he firmly washed my dignity down the drain. I won't admit to enjoying being washed by other people. I went through it all the time in the lab. I was handled roughly but, for now at least, I was secretly enjoying this; Joker was being firm yet gentle. I did not purr as he worked the conditioner into and out of my hair.

I looked over my shoulder to see him take down the soap, lathering it up under the water and my heart caught in my throat! I faced him and backed away, curving my claws. I saw him wash Harley with it and that, for me, is way over the line! I will put up a fight! He looked at me. I trembled, braced for a fight and then...I can not begin to describe how relieved I was when he handed the soap to me instead of doing that himself! It was like he was giving me permission to do this myself! I began to calm down and washed my personals, keeping him in my sights.

When I finished rinsing I sat next to Harley while Joker washed himself. I didn't realize I was watching him until Harley covered my eyes. I laughed. "Ok, ok! I get it!" I pushed her hand away and looked at the wall. "Is that my phone?" Harley nodded.

"I'm adding new songs to your playlist. These are so boring Kitten! You need to liven things up!"

"Lindsay Sterling and Owl City are live!"

"Yeah, they're very cute." She said, not meaning it. "We are going to listen to this!"

As the next song played we both started shivering. Harley tried to forget the cold by singing the lyrics. I laughed.

"Stop laughing Kitten! You're my back up!" I tried joining her but we sounded so bad we ended up in hysterics. We tried again with the next song but as soon as it started Joker turned the shower head on jet and sprayed us to shut us up. Harley yelled for him to cut it out but it came as a relief for me. I dropped into a crouch right under the spray and sighed. Warmth!

"Kitten likes it!" Harley pointed out.

I made a displeased meow when the water was abruptly turned off. Joker stepped out into the bathroom and wrapped Harley in a towel. While he was drying her I made my escape, grabbing my own towel on the way out. I ran to my room and shut the door.

I guess that was Joker's way of saying "I can do what I want and go where I want because this is all my property and you have no personal boundaries!" The nerve of that psycho!

When I went into my room I found my closet closed. That's strange. I thought I left it open. I pulled the handle and found it locked.

"What the hell?" I tried again. "You got to be kidding me!" I ran my hands through my hair. "Oh my God! How the..." Trying to control my rising irritation I wrapped myself in my towel and marched to the Joker's room. I got there just in time to see him putting a picture back on the wall.

Harley saw me standing in the doorway and said, "Puddin! I think she's on to you!"

Joker turned around. I frowned at him, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why won't my closet open?"

He just grinned.

"Your not alone Kitten," I looked at Harley and noticed for the first time she had not gotten dressed. "He locked my clothes up to!"

My jaw dropped in disbelief. I turned back to Joker. "Are you serious?!"

Joker had crossed the room and was now in front of me. "Jokes on you!" He reached out a finger as if he was planning to boop my nose. I ducked away crossly.

"This better be a joke cause I want my clothes back!"

"No!" He turned away.

"I'm cold!"

"Well come here then; let Joker warm you up!" He held out his arms as if requesting a hug.

I stared at him in disbelief. "That's a nice safe you got there! It'd be a shame if something happened to it! You put the key to my closet in there?"

Joker shook a finger at me. "Ah ah ah, you clever kitten! Not for you!"

"What is this suddenly a nudists camp?" I waved a hand at Joker. "How come you get to wear the pants around here!" As soon as I said it I saw the look in his eyes as well as Harley's and changed my mind. "No, never mind! Keep them on!"

"Mmmm! I like nudists camps!" Harley teased.

I covered my ears and turned away. "Nooooo!"

"Now, now, don't be so uptight!" Joker tried coaxing me.

I turned and dropped my forehead against the wall. "If you dare ask me "Why so serious?" I will make like Diablo and burn this place to the ground!" I threatened.

"Oh, I think our kitten is pmsing!" Harley smirked.

"You want a bloodbath? I'll give you one!" I responded without lifting my head.

Joker laughed. "That's very nice of you but thoughtful gestures like that won't get you what you're looking for!"

I laughed, only half amused and turned around. "I can figure out your combination! Easy as poisoned cake!"

Joker stepped closer so he towered over me to intimidate me with his size. "Finger print scanner."

I dropped my gaze submissively and clenched my fists. "I know how to make a fake finger print!"

"Go ahead and try, little kitty!" He dared me.

I crouched and darted for the picture but Joker intercepted me just before I got there. I screeched as he easily picked me up around the waist and carried me away from the hidden safe.

"Put me down!" This was the second time today he had picked me up! My towel was falling off so I took on my second form and dropped to the floor. Darting forward before I got stepped on I ran back to the wall and jumped up, balancing myself on the picture frame. I looked at Joker and stuck my tongue out but he didn't try to grab me again. He just made himself comfortable in bed and held out his arm, inviting Harley to join him.

"Can't very well make a finger print from there now can you?"

"No," I admitted. "But you will need to open this safe up at some point and I'll be here for it!"

"What does curiosity kill?" Joker asked, as Harley nibbled at his ear. "Best leave it be!"

I growled in frustration but had to admit defeat. I didn't want to stay here and watch the two crazies in bed.

I jumped down and strutted out, leaving my towel on the floor in a show of passive aggression.

This used to be a funhouse but now it's full of evil clowns!