This Awful Energy

Summary: It was simple: he was shrouded in darkness, and she in light. But when she discovers who she truly is, a new legacy is thrust upon her. Can Rey cope with the truth of her own past?

Author's Note: Hey everyone! I'm sorry for the delay here. But school has been absolutely crazy, and lesson planning and grading has been taking over my life. However, here we are with another chapter of This Awful Energy. Things are going to start picking up a little bit here, and I hope that you all like this! Please let me know what you think – I really appreciate all of the feedback.

Also, I promise this chapter has the last Force vision in it for a while!

Chapter Four: Revelations

Rey opened her eyes, finding herself in the dark forest of Moraband once more. Her realization at the location no longer surprised her; her dreams had taken her to the strange planet almost every night since she had discovered the truth of her visions. It was as if the planet itself were calling to her, forcing itself into her dreams so that she could not ignore it. Rey both looked forward to and resented her nightly visions – hoping that they would lead her to answers but resenting their necessity in the first place.

Her eyes scanned the now familiar tree line until they fell upon the temple in the distance. She had seen the temple before, it loomed over the comfortable forest – a constant in every single one of her dreams. And yet, she had never truly paid attention to the domineering structure until now. The top of the dark pyramid-like structure was breathtaking in a way that Rey could not quite identify. The temple on Moraband was undoubtedly different from the remnants of the one on Ahch-To. She could only assume that the temple in her visions belonged to the Sith. But that was not the only difference. Here, the abandoned temple seemed to vibrate with life – something that Rey could not quite explain.

But it was enough to pique her curiosity, and so Rey began to make her way towards it.

Rey did not know how long she possibly could have been walking for. Time seemed to move differently in her visions. But Rey could tell that she was not making any progress in reaching the temple. The more that she walked, the further away the temple seemed. Rey picked up her pace and soon enough she was sprinting towards the Sith temple. The rocks on the forest floor pierced through her heel, scraping the bottom of her feet. She could feel the throbbing from the incision, but she ignored the pain.

She was so close.

The temple was no longer moving away from her. She was able to see it getting closer and closer as she ran towards it. Her heart rate picked up in excitement at the prospect of exploring this new temple.

"Do you even know what you are running to?" The voice felt like a whisper in her eat, it was so close. Rey stopped immediately t the sound, her head whipping around desperately to find the source of the noise. She recognized the voice immediately, of course. It did not come as a shock that she would find him here. After all, she saw him almost every night these days.

Kylo Ren stood before her like a phantom haunting her dreams. Rey closed her eyes, desperate to will her enemy away. After all, this was only a dream and he was not really there. But when Rey opened her eyes, he remained standing before her.

The dark knight took a step towards Rey. Every single impulse in her body told her to move; to pick up her feet and begin running once more. And yet, her feet remained firmly planted in their place. Rey did not move, with the exception of squaring her jaw in determination. She was not frightened of him; he could do no physical harm to her here. He could only speak to her.

And she would not give him the satisfaction of terrorizing her.

"I could help you to find out," A gloved hand reached out to her, his open palm inviting her to join him. "The First Order saved the old archives from the Empire, they had the most complete annals of the time. Join me, and we will find the answers. Together."

Answers. The word coiled around her in her head like a snake. Rey bit her bottom lip; at this point, she had more questions than he had answers. And the more she found out, the further away from the truth she seemed. It would be so easy to just go to Kylo Ren, only long enough to get the information that she so desperately needed.

But that was exactly why she could not go with him.

The moment she made her decision, almost instantaneously, her vision began to slip away from her. The forests of Moraband shifted in her view, changing to something else entirely. Rey cried out, desperate to return – to find what was so tempting about the Sith temple that made a nightly appearance in her dreams. She frantically tried to grasp at something – anything – to hold on to that vision.

But it slipped away from her anyway.

The scene around Rey changed, and slipped into one of sheer chaos. People were running around what appeared to be a makeshift, rundown campsite. There was an air of urgency about the camp. Rey waited to see what had caused such chaos. But the Force would not allow her to idly watch as the vision unfolded. Rey was at the center of this vision.

"Varj – brother, the baby is coming." The words came out of her mouth before she could even realize what they had meant. But the sharp pain coming from her abdomen answered that question for her. Rey's hand flew to her stomach at the contract, and she let out a cry of pain.

Her words set the entire refugee company into a frenzy, as they realized that they would all play a role in the safe delivery of her very powerful child. In the absence of a proper medical ward or medical droids, they would all be conscripted to aid in the process. Water was collected and boiled down for sanitation, and a makeshift tent was erected for the birthing process. But she could not pay attention to the ceaseless commotion around her. All she could do was scream in pain.

The labor was long, and for her, extremely painful. She cursed the Force, cursed her brother for refusing to wait until after the child was born to journey to Moraband, she even cursed Marka Ragnos himself from inflicting such a hardship on her. She cursed through the pain. She cried through the pain. She pushed through the excruciating pain. Until finally, the pain seemed to ebb away and was replaced by another sensation.

Exhaustion.

Almost every instinct was telling her to rest, now that the hard part was over. She could feel the exhaustion rippling through her, threatening to take her. And yet, she only had one desire.

"Let me hold my son."

Some of her attendants looked at her warily, as if something had not gone according to plan. But none of them said anything alarming. She could see those tasked with helping her work in a frenzy to clean off the baby. The child – the son she was promised – was already squirming around. He was healthy. As the water washed away the blood, she could see the outline of the perfect being she had created. She smiled as she the beautiful naked baby was placed in her arms. As she looked down, she did notice that not everything had gone according to plan. But that did not matter to her.

Wisps of beautiful brown hair matched with big beautiful brown eyes. To her, the child in her arms was so perfect.

The baby girl in her arms was so perfect.

Rey's eyes opened as the dream violently slipped away from her. Her heart was hammering, and she found herself gripping the edges of her makeshift mattress so tightly that her knuckles were white. What the kriff had that dream been about? Never before had she experienced a vision through someone else's eyes. The sensation was strange – confusing. Taking the back end of her sleeves, Rey wiped away all signs of her tumultuous dream; she could not worry about it right now. She let out a dramatic exhale, before throwing the blankets from her bed. Daylight was pouring in to the homestead; Rey had overslept.

As she stood up and prepared for her day, Rey realized just how tired she actually was. While she had slept later than she should have, her body felt heavy with exhausted. There was no doubt that her sleep was definitely not restful the previous night. She rubbed her eyes as she made her way out to the training field.

Luke was already waiting for her as she stepped into Ahch-To's harsh daylight, a sparring saber in her hand. Rey tried her hardest to hide her disappointment at the training exercise – she was far too exhausted to spar with Luke. But Luke was determined that the intensity of her training increase. And so, Rey gritted her teeth in silence as Luke held out the training saber to her.

Luke ignited his own saber, and Rey followed suit. The distinct hum of the lightsaber seemed to focus Rey, causing her to forget the dreams that haunted her. Her movements were still slow as she swung the weapon, but the measure felt good for her muscles. Luke was the first on the offensive, swinging the weapon hard down towards Rey.

Rey dodged the attack, veering her body to the left as her master swung at her. Her body hit the ground of the training pit with a large thud. Rey groaned as she picked herself up off of the floor. But Luke was far too quick for her; as Rey was recouping, Luke slashed the training weapon across the bottom of her legs. While not destructive, the sparring weapon burned her calves. Rey cried out in pain, her legs giving out against the weapon. She collapsed on the ground, and her master sheathed his weapon.

Luke extended his hand to Rey, an offering of peace and respite. But Rey ignored her master's hand, choosing instead to pull herself off the ground. She gritted her teeth as she turned toward her master, igniting her saber once again. Determined to show her master that she was fully capable of the rigor that he expected, she thrust forwards onto the offensive. Using both hands, she brought her blue blade down hard. But Luke seemed to have the foresight to predict her moves, spinning to his left to doge her attack.

"Son of a bantha," Rey mumbled to herself, as she tried to recover from the attack. Her brow furrowed in frustration as Luke easily maneuvered around her. Rey's eyes followed her master's movements in a desperate attempt to predict his next attack. But Luke could easily hide his intentions from his padawan, causing her to fumble awkwardly as she tried to block him.

"You are focusing too much on what my next movement might be," Luke instructed between attacks and parries. "Close your eyes, focus on the Force. Let it flow through you, let it guide your movements."

Rey let out a frustrated sigh, but listened to her master nonetheless. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel the subtle vibrations of the Force. She could feel Luke's movements, and Rey hastened to counteract them. She moved too quickly, bringing her saber down before Luke even moved to attack her. The burning sensation of the training blade seared through her shoulder, causing Rey to cry out in pain. Her saber flew from her hands, tumbling across the training pit. Rey called to her saber, hoping to get it in time to deflect the next attack.

But the saber did not come, Rey was far too distracted by the pain in her shoulder.

Luke did not stop his advance at the sight of his padawan's failure. He was determined that their training session be the most rigorous. As his saber came down, ready to strike, Rey stuck out her hand in an attempt to block the shot. Closing her eyes, she concentrated all of her energy and focus on preventing Luke from once again striking her. With her eyes closed, she focused all of her desire to prove herself on the one task. Rey could feel all of the strange power of the Force radiating through her.

Luke's lightsaber never came down on her.

She expected that Luke pause midair, unable to swing the practice saber forward. Luke did stop, but not because his actions had been paused. Instead, his weapons had to be diverted to his own defense. Rey opened her eyes to the horror that emitted from her palms. She watched with wide eyes as Luke deflected the blue lightening that was coming from her own hands. Instantly, Rey lowered her hands, breaking her connection with the Force and stopping the lightening immediately.

Rey's jaw hung open at the sight of the power that she had just emitted; she had never done something like that before. She had not even known it was something that the Jedi could do. Eyes wide, she looked towards her master for both explanation and congratulations on a job well done. But as she met her master's gaze, there was a mix of something that Rey could not quite place. A mixture of remembrance and horror. Her shoulders collapsed in defeat as she took in his expression; this was not something for Rey to be proud of.

"How did you do that?" Luke's voice was just barely above a whisper.

Rey shook her head, unable to offer any explanation as to how she accomplished something. She had been so determined to block Luke's advance, the lightening that had come from her palms was completely unintentional. She looked to her master for answers as to what exactly she had done. But Luke remained speechless, his head shaking ever so slightly. Rey hung her head in shame, waiting for some indication of what her next steps – her punishment – may be. But the reproach from Luke Skywalker never came. Instead, her master inhaled sharply, "This has been – this is something that you can never do again, Rey. This is something that I need to consider – to meditate on. I suggest you do the same."

Without another word, Luke left Rey to her own thoughts.

Rey attempted to listen to her master's advice and meditated, but she could not bring herself to. Her mind was reeling with unanswered question on what she had just done, and they would not stop no matter how desperately she tried. She despised being left to dwell on what she had just done, like a child in need of a time out. But her master's reaction, his hasty retreat away from her, made Rey anxious as well. He recognized what she had done, and it frightened him terribly.

A sinking feeling of shame settled in the pit of Rey's stomach.

What if she was not meant to be a Jedi?

What if she had disappointed her master?

The thoughts of crippling self-doubt were Rey's only source of comfort for hours, until her master finally returned from his solitude. Luke remained quiet as he entered the small homestead; it was so quiet that Rey could hear her heart hammering in her ears. She watched expectantly as she waited for the almost inevitable scolding from Luke Skywalker.

But it never came.

Instead, Rey looked on as he began to boil water over the small flame ignitor. Her mouth hung open slightly as she watched him steep leaves. Rey was about to question what exactly he was doing when he thought better of it. After a few agonizing moments of silence, Rey graciously accepted when her master placed a steaming cup of tea in front of her. She raised the hot liquid to her lips, letting the herbal remedy soothe her nerves.

Luke sat down across from her, and raised his own cup and took a drink. When he put the cup down, he looked square at Rey. "You should not have been able to do what you did today. No one should."

Rey's lip parted, ready to offer up some form of explanation or excuse for her actions. But she truly had none to give. Luke, however, did not seem to want one either. He continued, "I have only seen one person able to do this in my life, Rey. It is not something that a Jedi should do."

Luke inhaled, but his voice remained even as he stated, "I would like to know how exactly you were able to do that. Was it in connection to my nephew?"

Rey shook her head as she choked out, "I – I don't really know. I'm not sure how it happened. I've never even seen, let alone done, something like this before. Please, you have to believe me." Her voice was pleading with her master.

Luke Skywalker exhaled at her pathetic explanation, "I do, Rey. I do believe that you have never consciously been exposed to such power before. But that does not change the fact that you were able to do something so concerning. That is a tool that is used by those who practice the Dark Side of the Force; a Sith power."

Rey could not help the gasp that escaped her lips. A Sith?

Her master watched her reaction carefully, but did not acknowledge it. Instead, he continued, "I realize this may be an unpleasant thought, but I do wonder if there are some memories you have, however repressed they may be, that would help shed some light on all of this. I would like to lead you through some guided meditation in hopes of recovering some answers."

Rey bit her lip, unsure if this was something that she really wanted to know the answer to. How could she live with knowing that kind of truth? Or worse, what would happen if she found out something equally as horrid? But as she thought about it, Rey wondered if she truly had a choice in the matter. Luke was eyeing her expectantly and Rey shifted under his gaze.

Rey inhaled sharply and closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind. But instead of the inner peace that meditation brought, she only felt the twisting of fear in the bottom of her stomach. That itself was the only feeling she could focus on; she could not find the inner peace that such intense meditation should have brought. Opening her eyes, she sighed in frustration. She shook her head, "I ca-can't do it."

"Yes, you can." Luke's voice was calm but forceful. Gently, Luke grabbed Rey's arm and began to inhale deeply. Rey mimicked his actions, watching as his chest rose and fall. She timed her breathing to match his, the calm feeling she initially fought finally reaching her. Everything else seemed to fall away as a sea of serenity washed over her.

And suddenly, Rey was no longer sitting in the rickety homestead she shared with Luke Skywalker. Instead, she was back on Moraband. Back home. But unlike her visions of the past, where Rey watched passively as she uncovered some of the strange truths about her, Rey was actively a part of the vision. She was running, her bare feet lightly hitting the forest floor. She looked at the settlement around her in a mixture of both familiarity and wonder.

She was viewing the world through a child's eyes.

Rey's heart was hammering in her tiny chest as her eyes grazed the surrounding area. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a figure hidden in the tree-line. With a giddy laugh, Rey darted after it, as fast as her little legs would take her. She weaved in and out of trees and launched herself over the rocks in order to catch the elusive figure. She just had to catch it this time. She just had to win.

As she tried to win the little game, Rey lifted some of the larger rocks in to the air – so she would not have to spend too much of her energy climbing over the boulders that were so much bigger than her. She laughed as she did so, there was something in her childlike mind that found the action funny.

But her mirth was short lived. The sound of her laughter was deafened by the roar of landing shuttles. Rey looked up, her eyes wide with wonder and fear. It was as if she had never seen such a machine before. But almost instinctively, she knew that the sound could only mean something bad was about to happen.

The bad people were here.

Her running, which had once been leisurely, took on a much more frantic pace as she sprinted for safety. Keep low. The reminder that had been drilled in to her head seemed to come of use, to keep her hidden from the bad people. Her little heart picked up its pace as she tried to reach the one person in the galaxy that she knew would protect her.

She stumbled over the rocks and overgrowth that made up her playground as her little legs carried her down a familiar path as fast as they could possibly take her. But the landing shuttles were faster than her by far. An anxious feeling washed over her as she reached the budding settlement at the edge of the forest. Unfamiliar droids were rolling around the camp, accompanied by the bad people she was always warned about. They were carrying weapons that she had never seen before.

Her eyes scanned the surrounding area, searching for any familiar face among the chaos. She ducking behind a rock on the forest's edge, trying to keep herself hidden from the bad people who invaded her home. She could see people she recognized as friends – good people – who were being brought into a pen that had always been used to hold livestock. Rey's eyes narrowed as she focused on the group of prisoners, looking for the one face that really mattered to her.

But she was not there.

Rey sighed in relief; maybe she had gotten away from the bad people! Rey began to turn, ready to check her favorite hiding spot. After all, she had always told Rey to go there if something bad ever happened. But as Rey was turning, in the corner of her eye, she could now see the person she had been searching for, laying unmoving on the ground less than a kilometer away from her.

All of the warnings that she had been given about the bad people seemed to disappear from her memory. Instinctively, Rey's feet began to carry her forward across the open field as she cried out, "Mama!"

The young Rey grabbed the sleeves of the motionless women, shaking them violently in an attempt to get her to rise. Rey did not know what kind of game she was playing – they had never done this one before. Surely her mama knew that it was not the right time to be playing a game – the bad people were here now. But her mother still did not move.

Rey looked in to the eyes of the woman on the ground, eyes that so clearly matched her own. Something is not right. Rey let out a child-like cry as she clung to her mother, the sound echoing around the chaotic settlement. But Rey could not find it in her to hold herself back anymore as the feeling of a terrible loss settled in.

Her childlike cries quickly turned into uncontrollable sobs that drowned out the rest of the bedlam in the settlement. So consumed with grief, Rey did not even notice the circle of people that had gathered around her curiously. It was only when they began speaking that the chorus of voices interrupted the mourning of her mother.

"There wasn't supposed to be children here." A shocked voice rang out, causing Rey to turn to see who had gathered around her. Among the sea of orange jumpsuits, Rey saw that a woman had spoken. The woman appeared to be kind, but Rey could only focus on the fact that she was one of the bad people – the people that killed her mother.

Although her younger self did not know the woman, through the vision Rey realized that it was a much younger General Organa. She hissed back to the sea of people orange jumpsuits around her, "Our intelligence said nothing about children living here."

"Well, obviously we were wrong about that." A frustrated voice countered. Rey frantically turned her little head around, only to be greeted with the exasperated expression of Han Solo looking back at her.

"This kind of settlement – what they are doing – is no place for a child."

"Someone seems to have thought differently."

Rey watched on as the two fought over what they were going to do with her. She was just a child, they said. But living here meant that she knew something – she could be questioned. Her naiveté meant that she would be more likely to talk.

"The Republic told us to completely neutralize the threat," Someone that Rey did not recognize chimed in, cutting both Leia and Han off. "We were told to leave no survivors."

"She is a child. We cannot –"

But Rey did not let the woman finish her speech. Anger and fear boiled inside her, making her ready to lash out in self-preservation at the man who threatened to hurt her. Instinctively, she rose her hand to perform the trick that her Uncle Varj had taught her. She had never been any good at the trick when practicing with her uncle, but she also had never wanted to hurt someone so much in her young life. Almost immediately, the purple lightening hit the man who had threatened her life square in the chest.

The man collapsed into a heap on the ground. Rey shaking, turned towards the rest of the bad people who surrounded her. Each of them took a step back, fearful of what the young child would do next.

"Did you see that?"

"What was that?"

The cautious whispers echoed around Rey. Tears began falling down her face once again, the fear of what would happen to her now that mother was gone returning. After a few moments, someone Rey did not recognize grabbed her by the hands, further restraining her from causing any more damage. Rey struggled against the adult's grip, but she was quickly overpowered.

"This explains why she was here, Leia." Han whispered. "Luke and the Republic knew what they were trying to do. Maybe they were gathering their own force-sensitive people to help bring him back."

Leia shook her head, "But she's just a little girl, an innocent in all of this. Luke would never knowingly give the order to hurt a child."

"We can take her to Luke," Han suggested, running his hands through his hair in exasperation. "He would know what to do with her. Maybe he could help her, with the other kids he is training."

The general shook her head immediately, "We can't do that. Luke had too much on his plate right now. He's just taken on Ben, and having her there might not be a good influence on him. That's a Sith power – you know what Ben would do if he saw that."

Han let out a frustrated sigh, "Then what do you suggest we do? Follow our orders and kill her?"

"Of course not!" Leia's exclaimed indignantly. "We just have to find a place for her. Far away from all of this."

"And what happens when she gets old enough to come looking for us, huh?" Han frowned. Rey watched as the two adults discussed what to do with her. Part of her knew it was best for her to try and run away, but she did not want to leave her mama.

Leia put her hands to her temples, in deep thought for a moment. "A few years ago, Luke tried to teach me about the Force. He taught me some skills that he thought would be useful to me, although I wasn't interested in much else. But he did teach me something called a memory rub, something I could do to erase memories."

Han shook his head, "You can't be serious, Leia."

"What other choice do we have?" Leia cried out. When Han Solo did not respond, Leia continued, "We have to find a place for her out of the reaches of any other radicals in the galaxy."

Leia paced for a moment, eyeing Rey as she did so. After what seemed like forever, the general stopped pacing, "Lor San Tekka. He's taken up residence on the junkyard planet of Jakku. He can keep an eye on her, and send us intelligence if he notices that she has begun to remember anything, or if anyone ever comes looking for her."

"You want to send her to Jakku?" Han asked incredulously, but let out a sigh of defeat as he once again ran his hands through his brown hair, "I've done some business with Unkar Plutt before. I'll take her, and see that he at least gives her a chance at surviving that waste of a planet."

Leia nodded, and turned her attention back towards Rey. She knelt in front of her, her gaze appearing both friendly and concerned. She held out her hand for Rey to take as she cooed, "Don't worry little one. We won't hurt you, we promise."

We won't hurt you, we promise.

Leia's words carried her out of her vision, the only words she could hear over the pounding of her heart. Rey came too with a loud gasp of breath, as her eyes began brimming with tears from the stress of the vision. Normally, Rey would hide her discomfort and keep herself and her emotions in check. But she was too overwhelmed and the tears began to flow freely.

Luke's eyes widened at Rey's reaction to the vision, and he put his arms on her shoulder's in an attempt at comfort. Rey did not move away, although the action brought her very little comfort. Luke let her calm herself before he gently asked, "What did you see?"

Rey shook her head, unable to get the words out. After all, there was still so much she did not know. Who was the group of people that lived on Moraband? Why did she only know of the Republic as "the bad people"? Why would Leia and Han have been given orders to kill everyone?

"Rey," Luke's voice was calm, the gentlest that she had seen him in weeks, "If you want me to help you, you need to tell me what you saw."

Rey swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, and took a deep breath before explaining herself, "I saw my family – my mother."

Luke looked at her, waiting for her to regain some of the composure she lost. She took a moment before elaborating. Rey made no attempt to hide the pure malice in her voice, "She was killed on Moraband. By the Republic – your sister was there."

Luke bristled and Rey could not tell if it was at the revelation or at the tone that she had used. But it did not matter, the last Jedi recoiled at the information, "Rey – I did not know about this. Truly."

Rey did not doubt that her master had no knowledge of her mother's death; her vision suggested as much. But he did give the order for the pilots to attack her home there; he did know that there were people on that planet. Rey turned away from her master, "I need to think on things, Master. I would like to be alone."

Her master nodded, standing up to leave Rey. But before he left her with her thoughts, Luke turned back to his padawan, "Remember, Rey – there is no emotion, there –"

"Is peace." Rey finished the part of the code for him; she knew it by heart. Although, as Luke left her alone with her own thoughts, the words now sounded completely hollow.