This Awful Energy
Summary: It was simple: he was shrouded in darkness, and she in light. But when she discovers who she truly is, a new legacy is thrust upon her. Can Rey cope with the truth of her own past?
Author's Note: I am SO SORRY. I know I have been sucky an MIA for God knows how long. The only thing I can say was that work has been absolutely kicking my ass and I haven't been able to do much for myself lately. But I want you to know that I have never forgotten about this story – and I'm writing more and more as I prepare for The Last Jedi to come out.
With that being said, I won't hold off any longer. Here is Chapter 7!
Please review and let me know what you think!
Chapter Seven: Prisoners
Rey watched carefully as the medical droid assigned to her meticulously wrapped up her still swollen arm in a delicate bandage.
Although she was absolutely exhausted, the hours of sleep deprivation taking its toll on her, Rey would not allow herself to rest. Rest meant that she was letting her guard down, and she did not trust the people on the destroyer enough to let her guard down. And the sight of another bacta-chamber in the medical bay was enough to send her into a fit. It took a series of droids and a doctor to calm her, to reassure her that this was not just one of the First Order's elaborate torture plans to give her a glimmer of hope only to rip it away violently at the last possible moment.
But the moment never came.
Rey watched as the droid tended to all of her injuries, rubbing a cooling bacta-gel on her inflamed and torn skin. It soothed almost instantly, and she already felt better than she had in days.
Aside from the team of droids and single medic, there was no one else in the medical bay. It was quiet, and no words were exchanged after Rey's outburst at the sight of the bacta-chamber. Despite the silence, Rey could hear everything just outside of the medical bay doors. And when the door opened halfway through her treatment, Rey' heartbeat began to pick up. Could it be a revived General Hux, come for revenge? Or a murderous Kylo Ren?
But when the doors parted to reveal nothing more than an unassuming droid, Rey let out a breath she had not realized she had been holding. Her tension eased even more as her eyes fell on what the droid was carrying.
In its hand was a tray, and on that tray was enough food to make her mouth water. It was by no mean elaborate or luxurious, but Rey did not realize how hungry she actually was. The broth and a sweet smelling rolls on the tray were more than she had in a very long time. When the delectable food was placed directly in front of her, she immediately picked up the bowl, ready to down all of its contents
The medical droid, however, scolded her, "If you eat too fast, you will make yourself sick."
The machine reached across Rey's tray, picked up a small spoon and held it out to Rey. She eyed it, before grudgingly snatching it from her caretaker and using it to shovel the warm broth inside of her mouth. All the while, Rey glared at the droid in front of her.
As Rey ate what was placed in front of her, she noticed her reflection in the chrome exterior of the surrounding medical equipment. She startled at her appearance; the droids attempted to clean her up as they attended to her wounds. But Rey truly looked horrible.
Her skin was pale white, only to be complemented by dark puffy circles underneath her eyes from her sleepless night. Her hair was matted down to her head in a sticky and stringy mess. She looked like death.
After all I've been through, I'm not surprised, Rey thought as she popped a small piece of seedy bread into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully as she contemplated her situation – how she arrived at this point. How she must have appeared – tired and crazed – when Kylo Ren interrupted her. Or did he save her?
Rey shuddered as the rage that had filled her up and clouded her judgment only hours ago. Deep down, she knew that she should have been better than that. More controlled. Kylo Ren walked in at her lowest – or her highest? – point. She had let her rage at General Hux guide her actions.
She thought about the copper-haired general – about his leering presence and sadistic tendencies. Even now she could close her eyes and easily see his smirking face that relished in her pain.
And she hated him for it.
But she had not wanted to kill him.
That had never been her intention.
Had she killed him? Rey as not even sure of that. Kylo had ordered her whisked away from the interrogation chamber so quickly that she could not determine if the general was still breathing or not.
Rey looked at her reflection again. Was this the reflection of a killer? She shook her head, she had acted purely in self-defense. Hux would have gladly tortured her – perhaps even killed her - if he had been given the chance.
But that did not erase the enjoyment and satisfaction she received from watching him helplessly squirm on and writhe in agony. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach – you are no better than he is.
Her thoughts were interrupted as the medical droid once again appeared at her side. Rey was never alone for more than five minutes, and she was sure that that was done entirely on purpose.
The droid looked at her, no hint of emotion on its' robotic face, "As your wounds now have all been treated, you are being discharged from the medical wing. You will be moved into a private room, where you will be checked daily by medical personnel until it is determined that you are fully healed."
Rey blinked at the droid, processing its words. When the realization finally dawned on her, the knot in her core only tightened. She shook her head; she did not want to be put back into her dark cell, where she would not be able to close her eyes. She refused. Immediately, Rey balled her hands into a fist, ready to fight her way out if necessary.
But the droid either did not see her reaction, or it did not care. Before Rey could let out a word of protest, a protocol droid began lading her down an unfamiliar corridor and bright hallway. Rey watched carefully, paying attention to each turn she took and absorbing all information about the layout of the starship she was on. She may need it again when she planned her inevitable escape attempt.
Along the end of the hall, Rey could see a series of doors, each designated by a series of numbers. The protocol droid paused in front of the last door on the left-hand side, before turning to Rey, "Each apartment door is equipped with a biometric lock to ensure privacy. To get in, all you need to do is place your right palm on the scanner here."
Rey chewed her lip thoughtfully, holding back her question as to who else's handprint the biometric scanner recognized. Surely she could not expect any level of privacy from her captor.
Despite her doubts, she did as the droid instructed and placed her palm directly on the scanner. She could feel the whir of the machine under her touch. A click sounded as the machine recognized her and the door slid open in one graceful motion, revealing her new chamber.
Rey did not know what she truly expected when she was being moved to a new room. Perhaps another cell. Perhaps a small utilitarian barrack or dormitory. But she did not expect the luxury before her. The room she stepped into was larger than anything she had seen before. Her own home on Jakku was nothing compared to the pristine chambers presented to her now. The dark floors glistened and reflected the overhead lights; as she looked down Rey could see her own haggard reflection in the tiles. A small table, enough to seat only two, could be found in the corner of the room with a fine place setting already neatly laid out. A small loveseat decorated the center of the room, and a holopad lay neatly on one of the cushions. To her left, she saw a large bed. She walked over to it, letting her fingers graze over the fine linen sheets.
No, this was not the cell she had been expecting at all.
It is still a prison. The thought came unbidden, and made her shift uncomfortably.
"A shower and bathroom are just through those doors," The protocol droid interrupted her thoughts, "For your convenience."
Rey nodded her gratitude towards the droid, unable to find her voice.
"If you should need assistance," The machine continued, "You may press any of the call buttons here." The droid indicated a small touchpad on the wall.
Rey bit her lip as she eyed the device; she would not be around long enough for her to need that particular amenity.
It was only a few more minutes before the droid, convinced that Rey was settled into her new chambers, left her to her own thoughts. Already, her mind was swimming with the logistics surrounding any potential escape plan. She was absolutely sure that she was being watched, or guarded. They would expect her to escape. She needed time to work out a plan, to figure out how this was doing to work.
She needed time.
And there were also other pressing matters for her to attend to. Although she had been cleaned up in the medical bay, her open wounds disinfected and stitched, Rey still felt the need to wash and get out of the clothes that reeked of blood and sweat. Curious, she opened the chrome dressing table beside the bed she had been given. She had ample garments to choose from, but Rey grabbed the first thing that she had seen. After pulling out the change of clothes, she proceeded into the washroom.
Stepping into the shower, she allowed the hot water to scald her skin as it rinsed away the grime that had accumulated. She relished the pain of the hot droplets searing everything away. She scrubbed her skin, lathering soap to wash away all of the dirt and grime that seemed to stick to her since she had left Ahch-To. She washed away all of the main, the guilt, and the memories from the last few days.
Rey wanted to forget everything that had happened over the course of the last week. She scrubbed harder, as if doing so would rid her of the anger that welled inside of her when she thought about what she learned in regards to her own family. She scrubbed as if it would help her escape the horrible memories of torture. She tried, in vain, to cleanse herself of the guilt that surrounded her actions towards General Hux.
She scrubbed until her skin was red and raw.
But her thoughts would not be ignored, and they drifted cruelly back to the red headed general. When she closed her eyes, she could easily picture him lying in that crumbled heap on the floor. Her throat dried as the possibility that she had killed him crossed her mind.
Rey scrubbed her skin even harder, wishing all of her ill thoughts away.
When Rey finally emerged from the shower, she already felt better than she had in days. Her dark hair was no longer matter down to her top of her head, and her senses were much more awake and alert. Grabbing the clothes that she picked out previously, Rey quickly changed. The long black leggings she had chosen were not entirely was she was used to- she had always been inclined to a looser fit - but she was pleasantly surprised by their comfort and the range of motion. The gray tunic she had chosen was loose fitting, draping down gently to her hips, with a neckline that plunged a little too low for her liking. Somehow, she thought, she would feel uncomfortable no matter what she had chosen to wear.
Looking at herself in the glass mirror, Rey ran her fingers through her loose hair in an attempt to comb it out. She let the tendrils fall at the nape of her neck as they formed gentle curls.
She exited the washroom once satisfied with her appearance, ready to tackle the feat if escaping the First Order once more.
Or, so she thought.
She immediately sensed something odd – something familiar once she entered the main quarters once more. The small hairs on her arm stood as the recognized the familiar feeling that once haunted her dreams. Something she had not truly felt in a long ,. No, it couldn't be. Her stomach dropped as she saw a figure sitting casually in a chair at the dining table. Rey bristled, the tiny hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention. What was he doing here? Her breath hitched in her throat, and her hand balled into a fist as she took a cautious step toward him.
She had no weapons, no way of saving herself from this man. This monster.
He may have saved her, but they were absolutely not on the same side.
As Rey neared Kylo Ren, he finally turned to face her. His mask lay carefully placed on the table, and she could watch as his eyes studied her. Rey swallowed a lump in her throat as his eyes fell to her bandaged arm. It remained wrapped tightly, but the way he looked at it, it was as if he could see every horridly infected detail of her shattered wrist.
"How are you feeling?" His unexpected words broke the uncomfortable silence between them.
Rey wet her lips, hoping that she sounded much more confident than she felt. She met his gaze before replying dryly "I have been better."
He nodded, as if that was the answer he was expecting. Rey had to wonder if could sense what she was feeling through their bond. If he even was aware of it. Rey was so consumed with thoughts of their supposed Force bond that she did not even notice him gesture to the place setting in front of him. Until now, Rey had not even noticed the food laid out on the table.
So much for her heightened Jedi senses.
"I would like you to join me for dinner."
A viscous retort lodged itself in her throat. She could already think of a witty remark about the audacity of show up unannounced in her ne private chambers, food in hand, with an invitation. No, it was a demand. But she bit back her sarcastic remark; she was truly in no position to argue with him.
Rey eyed Kylo Ren carefully before glancing at the food laid out in front of him. The elegant looking meal most of which she could not recognize, called to her with its sweet aroma. The grumble that erupted from her stomach seemed to answer his request for her. His lips pursed together, curling upward into a half smile that made Rey's insides writhe in unease.
Could she trust him? The answer was obvious. But despite every instinct that told her to run the other way, she pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down.
He picked up a glass before him, raising it to his lips to drink. Rey eyed the man carefully, skeptically, as he set the cup down and asked, "Our reports said that you were picked up in the far end of the Outer Rim. What brings you this far out all by yourself?"
Perhaps she was too used to the harsh questioning nature of General Hux, but the casual nature in which the question was posed to her was unsettling to say the least. Rey reached out to the glass before her, bringing its contents to her lips and delaying her response to his question.
Kylo Ren raised his eyebrows, and Rey bristled as she lowered the cup, "If you wanted to interrogate me, you'd have more luck if you put me back in the interrogation chamber." Her words came out much fiercer than she had actually felt, and for that Rey was grateful.
"You aren't a prisoner here," His tone, while not at all comforting, was very matter of fact.
But she did not believe him – she could not.
Kylo Ren eyed her carefully. Rey shuffled under his gaze as he regarded her, "You're running from something."
She lifted her head, meeting his gaze once more. How had he known that? There could have only been one explanation for it – the force bond -, and Rey gritted her teeth at the thought. So, he was aware of their shared connection. Anger was once again bubbling up inside of her as she slammed her hand down on the table. Through her teeth, Rey snarled, "Get out of my head."
Her captor let out a half-chuckle, although the remnant of his smirk had all but disappeared from his features. "I was doing no such thing. I do not have to; it was written all over your face."
His words hit Rey like a slap in the face, "Do not pretend to know the first thing about me."
His lips pursed tightly together, "I do not have to pretend, Rey. I don't believe that you and I are very different."
"You and I are absolutely nothing alike," There was no hiding the repulsion in her voice at the comparison. "I would never murder my own father, someone who had done nothing but care about you."
Her captor's head shot up at the comment, his eyes flashed in a rage that Rey had not anticipated. He forcefully stood up, the chair tumbling backward as he did so. As the clash of the falling furniture sounded throughout the room, he marched towards Rey. For a moment, Rey was worried that Kylo Ren was about to strike. Her false sense of bravado evaporated as he stared at her intensely, his chest rising and falling rapidly in his anger. Would he lash out at her?
Seconds passed, but they felt like hours. Rey could hear the thudding of her heart, and she had to wonder if the man before her could sense her fear. Even with her heightened senses and training, she could not predict with confidence what Kylo Ren's next move would be. Would he strike? Would he merely leave?
After a few more moments under his frightening gaze, Kylo turned from her. Rey watched behind him, and Rey exhaled as she realized that she was alone. Her shoulders slumped in relief. Looking at the table of uneaten food, Rey felt her appetite disappear.
She sighed and stood up from her position at the table. Running her fingers through her hair, she contemplated what exactly had just happened between her and her adversary. How dare he compare the two of them? She made her way over to the bed, her body collapsing onto the meticulous sheets as she groaned in frustration.
She did not know how long she lay there with her stomach flat on the bed, staring at the wall as she wondered what exactly she was to do next. She was absolutely not returning to Luke Skywalker, and she doubted she could face the Resistance. Her only two options were to continue on her original path to the planet Moraband, or she would remain a prisoner of the First Order.
"You aren't a prisoner here." Kylo Ren's words echoed in her mind. But if she wasn't a hostage, then what was she?
There was only one way to find out.
She swung herself from the bed, the cold floor sending chills from her bare feet to her spine. Although she was alone in her new apartments, she tiptoed across the floor as if she were frightened a noise would alert anyone to her plan. Rey found herself staring at the shut door to her chamber, wondering what would happen if she attempted to open it. Would alarms sound? Would storm troopers surround her immediately?
Well, there is only one way to find out. Rey bit the bottom of her lip, her hand hovering over the biometric door lock. Slowly, she lowered it and felt the sensors kiss her palm.
The door opened without ceremony, and an empty hallway was the only thing that greeted her.
Kylo Ren's assertion of her status on the ship once again crossed her mind. Perhaps he had truly meant it when he has said she was not a prisoner.
At least it would be that much easier to escape.
Rey walked carefully down the hall of the ship, turning corners quickly and carefully as she did so. The last thing that she wanted to do was draw negative attention to herself. She managed to successful navigate a few hundred yards before she heard the sound of boots stomping in her direction. Rey's eyes quickly scanned her surroundings, looking for a place for her to hide.
They landed on a small vent in the corner of the room. Swiftly, Rey kicked out the metal grate of the vent before crawling into the small space. She had just replaced the grate when she could hear the boots of the sentinels approaching.
"The terrorist fighters have all been taken care of," She could her one of the troopers address his comrade. "An entire garrison was completely wiped out in the Eldurian system."
"Good," The other replied, "The more dead rebels there are, the better."
"With the new models of F15s that just arrived yesterday, they do not stand a chance."
Rey felt a boiling in her gut at the storm troopers words. It took every ounce of training she had ever received to fight the pure instinct to attack the foot soldier for his words. She thought of Finn, the one member of the Resistance that Rey still could trust, and her heart panged with worry for him. Was he okay? Or was he one of the Resistance fighters just massacred?
Rey craned her head in the slightly cramped space, hoping to hear more details – any news of her friend. But the troopers had moved on, leaving Rey alone once more on this particular deck.
After carefully and quietly freeing herself from the confined space of the air vent, Rey began once again to move towards the outer rim of the ship. Quietly, she slipped through the shadows. She stealthily followed the sounds of troopers, using all of her training to make sure that she was not seen by her gracious hosts. Within mere minutes, Rey found herself looking into the hanger bay. Ships were docked in position, as the more haggard looking ones were being worked on by legions of mechanics to keep them within working order. Rey's eyes widened at the sight of it all, the gears in her mind already turning as she worked out how exactly she was going to escape this ship.
Rey ducked behind a large stack of metal cargo containers, surveying the area as she did so. Her eyes fell upon a small transport vessel. It was an older model, and rather inconspicuous. It was unmarked, showing absolutely no signs of belonging to the First Order. She had no doubt that, in that ship, she would not raise any red flags as she made her way to her destination.
If only she could get to the ship without being detected.
Rey waited for what felt like hours until she could find the right time to make her escape. Troopers passed her hiding place without so much as a glance in her direction. But the hanger bay never seemed to empty. If she made her attempted escape then, she would be surrounded in seconds.
She had to divert their attention.
Rey turned from her hiding spot, slipping past a gaggle of troopers undetected. She made her way back through the hall in which she came, turning corners as quickly as possible. She ran past the grate in which she hid earlier but made note of exactly where it was. If things went the way that she planned, she would need her first hiding spot again. Rey darted and weaved through the destroyer's corridors until she found a panel in the wall just a slightly different shade of chrome. With all of her might, she pulled the panel from the wall to reveal a series of tubes and wires. Her eyes landed on the center wires, all of which would be connected to the ships main frame. Rey reached out and pulled, removing the wires from their secured spot on the wall.
Almost immediately, the lights of the destroyer dimmed and she could hear the low wail of the ships alarm. Without another thought, Rey darted from her position in front of the control panel and found herself once again kicking the air free. Just a she crawled into the confined space once again, she hear the quick moving boots of running storm troopers in her direction. Soon, they would be scouring the ship for her.
With any luck, Rey would be halfway across the star system before they even realized that she as missing.
When the halls were clear, Rey darted from the air vent and sprinted back to the hanger bay. As she approached, she could see that her plan had worked – the troopers had all but cleared out. She could easily out maneuver the remaining ones. Without any hesitation, Rey began to sprint towards her escape ship.
She was almost free.
Her pace picked up, and the ship became closer and closer as she neared it. She could almost reach out and touch the shiny metal exterior of her transport when every muscle in her body stiffened uncomfortably. She attempted to move her leg forward, pushing through the stiffness and pain. But she was frozen in place. Her eyes, the only part of her that could move, drifted around the hanger bay.
They landed on a masked figure, cloaked in black. Despite his hidden face, Rey knew that Kylo Ren was staring intently at her. How could he have possibly known what she had done? Could he sense her?
With a swift movement, Kylo Ren removed the mask. He looked at her, his dark hair falling over his eyes and scar that she had given him. For the first time in what felt like forever, Rey truly noticed the handsome features of the man who had haunted her dreams. Rey watched helplessly as Kylo Ren took a deliberate step towards her. Almost every instinct in her body told her to retreat, and Rey was unable to listen to her flight and fight instincts. She inhaled sharply as he spoke to her, "Since the last time you and I met, I have felt it – a connection that I cannot quite explain."
The Force bond. Luke's explanation of the connection between her and his nephew seemed like so long ago. Ages. So much had happened in the time since his explanation, it had moved from the forefront of her worries. Her former master, in his wariness of the bond the two of them shared, had never fully helped her to control it. To extinguish it like the dangerous flame that it was.
"Luke Skywalker never fully explained it to you. He taught you to fear this connection, instead of use it like the source of power that it is." He continued, his eyes searching hers, "You are disappointed in him, I can sense it."
If Rey had the ability to, she would have protested. But as it was, her adversary continued, "You do not have to deny it. I have felt that same disappointment in him, the same frustration with his lack of tutelage. But I have found the answers that I was looking for. Perhaps you will too."
As he spoke, Rey could feel her muscles relaxing. Slowly, she was able to steady herself into a more comfortable position.
"With the First Order?" Rey laughed with far more bravado then she actually felt. "I don't think so."
"Perhaps you are right." Kylo smirked, one corner of his lip tilting upward in a devious half smile, "I sense you are going down a much darker path."