Disclaimer: I do not own any of the two Manga used in this crossover they solely belong to their respective author's who did not give the main character the girl.

Author Rant: I am trying to slow the chapters down because that was the only critic I got but man is it hard. Did you notice that the last chapter was 2500 words that happened in only a couple of hours rather that the entire day! However, I hope you enjoy the story and keep giving me feedback. ~Twisted Kunai Out (TKO)!

Naruto's POV

The damn alarm clock started ringing in middle of my dream about a chibi Hilda endlessly serving me ramen while baby Beel cheered us on. Man, that was a sweet dream but the clock had to disturb it so the clock had to have an immediate meeting with the wall. I threw it as hard as I could in hopes of shutting the damn thing off and going back into dreamland. My plan failed because the alarm kept ringing. So, I decided to get up and turn the alarm off without opening my eyes. I remembered that Hilda and Beel were sleeping below so I crouched on my bed and jumped towards my wall. Bam I hit the wall, my very soft wall and when I pressed the off switch it moaned. Wait, what did I just feel let's reverse. A soft wall that fell upon impact and an alarm clock that moaned, when I pressed the switch off button.

Oh, oh, I was in trouble and I would have to endure this devil woman's wrath that I had wrought upon myself with my stupid actions. I opened my eyes to check if my intuitions were correct, and that they were. I had my face in her bosom with one hand on her breast and the other around her waist. Either she was red from embarrassment or anger; I was leaning towards the latter. I just became a genin and I am too young to die, I need a cosmic miracle to save me. I start praying to every supernatural being to help me get out of this delicate situation. She cleared her throat delicately and I realized I was still on her. She only said one word "run" so, I quickly grabbed Beel pumped chakra into my feet and ran. She called for her damn bird but I kicked it in the head and released the chakra in my leg. Damn that is a useful technique for the future because that bird disappeared. I kept running until I got to the training ground where I was ready to take my beating as a man.

She unsheathed her sword from the parasol and got ready to attack me. She generated this immense black aura behind her and started attacking. I used my training to dodge her attacks and it seemed that hitting wood was making her angrier rather than calmer. Hey, hitting wood to calm down always works for me. Oh, thank you log for taking on this devil woman's fury.

Looks like she decided to abandon using spells and hurt me the old-fashioned way by gutting me open. Beel is having a blast on my back laughing as each log that should be me is being obliterated. I make Kage Bunshin to switch with and upon seeing a thousand copies of me; she gets this twinkle in her eye, damn murderous woman. I purposefully order 500 clones to generate smoke while transforming into Beel and jumping onto an untransformed clone's back.

Hilda's eye seemed to generate a sense of awe and a hint of fire to my challenge. She moves very fast and starts slashing at every single clone. It takes her some time but that was all the time I needed to rest. I created one exploding clone with enough chakra to blow her away without hurting her. My plan was to switch with the exploding clone as soon as she nicked me causing an explosion to push her away and give me time to run.

She walked towards me with an extra sway to her hips. Her eyes were gleaming with humor and her smirk was promising pain. I was hypnotized by this woman before me like a sailor meeting a siren. She would show me the most beautiful thing in the world and then brutally maul me to death. I knew that very moment that this woman is going to be the end of me and I would want it no other way.

She brought the sword to my cheek and said, "If you have finished running it is time for you to face your punishment." She cut my cheek lightly and a drop of blood was released. As soon as the drop hit the ground all hell became lose. I was going to switch with my clone but Beel started to cry at the same time.

My chakra induced body acted as a generator and Beel's power doubled. As I had observed Beel, crying caused me to be fried with some lightening. This however, was a full-blown tantrum that combined with my chakra caused a pillar of lightening to descend upon me, causing the clone to explode, and Hilda to be blown back. The entire village probably saw the lightening because the ANBU and jiji were suddenly on our location.

FLASHBACK

Hilda's POV

Last night I had slept really well due to Beel in my arms. I had to admit it is a cute nickname for young master. I woke up early due to some idiots shouting about youth and its springtime. I got up, started preparing for the day ahead, and help Naruto with his training. I showered and changed into my purple dress and the alarm started ringing.

Ah, just in time to attend to Beel and Naruto. I blushed when I heard Naruto mumble, "More Hilda, please give me more." My mind ran through likely scenarios his perverted mind conjured up and I smirked knowing he found me attractive. Then in an instant, it is gone, as soon as the next words exited his mouth my smirk turned into a sweat drop. He continued his dream by asking for ramen. I a devil who lives in a world filled with the supernatural; was shocked that a teenage boy is dreaming of ramen instead of women.

He ignored the alarm clock for a couple of minutes until it started to interrupt his dreams. He then tossed it towards me, well technically the wall behind me. However, for my own amusement and to see what action he would take, I caught the alarm in mid-flight. It continued ringing and I heard a grumble about sturdy clocks and weak walls. The man had yet to open his eyes but he crouched on his bed and jumped.

Oh, Mao how stupid can someone get. He jumped without seeing where he had to go and by the looks of it, if I was not present, the wall would have had a big dent in it. That would have been the better option because he landed right on my cleavage. The short, good for nothing, bastardly midget even had the audacity to press my breast thinking it was the clock. I did not want to but I moaned since it was the first time a boy touched my breasts.

He opened his eyes and shock was easily seen. The shock quickly turned to dread as he realized his situation. I then simply advised him to run and boy did he run. He had grabbed the young master before disappearing to the human eye; however, he was moving too slow when seen with the devil's eye. I calmly followed waiting to see what type of plan he would come up with to get out of this situation.

He ran towards the river where Beel's initial sent in this realm was found. He stopped running and stood his ground to fight my anger away. I started summoning my magic and attacked him with the spells I could conjure on this realm. He dodged every single one. Every time I thought I nailed him in his place would be a piece of wood. Argh, I wish we were in Makai then I could show him the extent of my magic. If magic was not going to work, it was time for Plan B; simply cut him into ribbons.

He brought his hands together to form a cross shape and then there he was with a thousand copies behind him. I could not believe it, he was letting me kill him a thousand times. What greater gift could he give a woman hell bent on killing him for being a pervert. Then there was a large plume of smoke and now there were 500 Naruto copies with a copy of Beel on their back. Humph, at least he made it a little harder to be found. His clones started charging towards me and I got cutting.

I tell you killing the same person 500 times is satisfying and a great anger relief. It was a shame I had to kill Beel's copies too but they were still Naruto only transformed into my precious master. He then stood before me in an empty field where I was the hunter and he the prey; but the joke was on me. This was because I was panting and sweating with little cuts on my person while he stood before me in the same condition as an hour before.

I appreciated his tactic of tiring me out and then approached him. He seemed in a trance and I realized he was eyeing my form. I smirked and told him to prepare for his punishment. I nicked his cheek a little and all went to hell. As soon as his blood hit the grass, young master started crying. Actually crying would be an understatement, he got terrified and threw a tantrum. I was shocked at the amount of lightening produced because Naruto's potential was the catalyst for the magic to be summoned in this realm.

FLASHBACK END

The amount was so grand that I saw standing beside me an old man who was probably the leader of the village and his guards in black. They restricted me with a knife to my throat and asked who I was and why Naruto was under attack. I told them that it was Beel throwing a tantrum and when they asked how to stop it, I told them only his father could. They then asked me who that was and I simply pointed towards Naruto. I think that broke the old leader because he looked like his brain had short-circuited. My half-truths were proven true when Naruto spoke.

Naruto POV

Man being electrocuted sucked and I had heard what was going on between Hilda and Jiji. Looked like it was time to stop the storm and then introduce my family to jiji. I patted Beel on the head and said, "Beel there is no reason to cry, I am perfectly okay. Your mom and I were just playing around no harm done. Now remember you cannot cry if things do not go your way, you just grit your teeth and try harder. Okay!"

The words had their desired effect because Beel stopped crying, shouted some baby words, and squeezed the life out of me instead. I started laughing when I heard Hilda's giggles and walked towards them. I looked at her sternly and she raised a single eyebrow in question.

I then said, "Now you have spoilt the surprise for jiji when I went to submit my ninja registration. I thought we promised not to tell anyone about our relationship until I officially became a ninja. This whole tantrum is your fault anyways." It looked like she got my signal to keep quite a little longer. I turned to jiji and said, "Jiji tell her a husband can touch his wife's breast when their baby is sleeping." I then pulled Beel off my back and said, " Beel say hello to your great-grandpa." Oh, jiji's face stored away on my camera was so worth the lightening strike.

I put my arm around Hilda's waist and blushed at the contact. It seemed like I would need more practice at making contact so I decided that lots of training was required. I then told jiji we were going to Ichiraku's and that he was treating. His unhinged jaw snapped shut and he got very pale but Hilda and I were already gone out of the training grounds. About two seconds later I heard jiji scream my name to the heavens. Yes, I was that awesome. Hilda then turned to me and whispered in my ear, "Your punishment is yet to be delivered, dear husband." I swear to log that at that moment my Goosebumps had Goosebumps; but it was so worth it that if I could I would do it again. Then I realized that I would have to explain her and Beel's presence to Teuchi-jiji and Ayame-nee-san. This woman was costing me time before I got to my lovely ramen, damn this devil woman.

Author Note: Beel knows which Naruto is real because the clones will not have the zebel emblem on them that connects Naruto and Beel together. However, a clone can take care of Beel while Naruto is training since the emblem has yet to appear. I hope this clears a few things up. TKO!

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