Chapter 3: The Forget-Me-Not Bird
James opened his eyes to see the evening skies in Hawaii. He wondered how long he had been out before sitting up and stretching.
"HJ?" he called, no answer. She must be out with Jane.
Sighing, he rose and put on some flip-flops. Moving out of the bedroom, he realized that there were a few bags in the living room and moved towards them. However, a note on the table caught his attention. He read it before smirking.
Be back later. Don't peak. – Holly J
James would have looked anyway but chose against it. He would let his imagination run for a while. Meanwhile, James took his key and left the suite. He had to get some fresh air.
"Oh, Jaime." James froze as he looked to see Fiona exited her room as well. "Um, where were you headed?"
James shrugged. "Just walking around. You?"
"Charlie's asleep and I needed to get out for a while. I can't just stay in one place." James nodded. "Dex said he would meet me downstairs. Did you want to come with us?"
"Sure." James said, patting his pocket to make sure his cell phone was there.
The two began to walk for the elevator before Fiona spoke.
"So… Holly J, huh?" James looked at her.
"Yeah… That's not a problem, is it?" James asked.
Fiona scoffed. "I hate her." James frowned. "Okay, I'll admit that she's not as bitchy as she was earlier this year, but still. I know that person is in her somewhere."
"She's different bird. Give her a chance." James said. "Besides, you don't hear me going on a rant about you and Charlie."
"I don't need you to say it. I know you hate it." Fiona said. James only gave a shrug. She was right to a degree. "I hate that Declan dragged me down here."
James frowned. "He said that you wanted to come."
"I did. He said that there was some sort of deal and he had a spare room. He said to bring a date and Hawaii. I think all I paid attention to was Hawaii." James laughed at that. "When he said to meet up in Toronto because you were going too, I had already bought the plane tickets and packed for the trip. I didn't know that you were bringing a girlfriend, let alone Holly J Sinclair."
"Hmm… Seems as if Declan has been keeping a lot of secrets from us then because I had no clue that you were coming, let alone bringing Charlie." James responded. "I think Declan set us up bird."
"Me too…" Fiona said quietly as James pressed the button for the elevator. "I missed you…"
James met her eyes with his.
"I've missed you too." he answered before the doors opened.
"Where are you two going?" James and Fiona met Holly J's gaze as she stepped off of the elevator, a shopping bag in each hand.
"To meet up with Declan." James answered. "I got your note by the way. I'm leaving not to peak."
Holly J smiled. "Good boy." Holly J then looked at Fiona. "Jane and I were going to the spa tomorrow. Did you want to come with us?"
Fiona blinked in surprise before looking at James. He gave her a small smile and lifted a brow before Fiona addressed Holly J.
"Sure." Fiona answered.
"Well," Holly J said walking past them. "I'll see you then." She then looked at James. "Be back soon so you can see what I got."
James smiled. "I wouldn't miss it for the world love."
James and Fiona stepped on the elevator, his eyes never moving away from his girlfriend's retreating body until the doors closed. He then looked at Fiona, who had just pressed the button for the lobby.
"I told you she's changed." he told her.
"So I see." Fiona said. "So… She sleeps on my side, huh?" James smirked. "What?"
"I told you that she hasn't really moved in." James answered. "When she sleeps there, no. She sleeps on my side. But normally she's at her dorm with Anya like before you left."
"…I sleep on your side too." Fiona said.
James shrugged. "It's nothing I worry about bird. You fall asleep on whatever side of the bed you want." The doors to the elevator opened and the two stepped off. "Besides, we're happy, right?"
"I guess you're right." Fiona said before looking around. "Now where's my brother?"
James shrugged. "Don't know. Call him."
Fiona did just that, holding a small conversation with the missing Coyne before hanging up with an annoyed sigh.
"Where is he?" Fiona just looked at James.
"Jane called him back to the room for some reason. So it's just us, again." Fiona said. "So, where to?"
"I just wanted to walk around." James said leaving the building, Fiona at his side. "Your mom must've been happy when you began dating Sebastian, huh?"
Fiona pursed her lips. "A bit too much. He was a complete bore. I would rather hold a civil conversation with Holly J than to listen to him talk on and on about nothing important. And he had absolutely no sex drive. That's why I'm forever off of men."
"Glad to know it wasn't me." James said with a smile, the two now walking the path that stretched throughout the resort.
"I could never hate men because of you." Fiona stated. "That wouldn't make much sense at all." James swallowed silently. Something felt amiss here. "So Holly J met your dad?"
"The whole family." Fiona's eyes went wide in shock at the statement. "Christmas."
"Oh. So you met your sister then? How was she?" Fiona questioned.
"Hyper." James said, drawing a giggle from Fiona. "Worst of all, she's a Giants' fan. A New York Giants' fan."
Fiona frowned. "I thought you liked the Ravens?"
James nodded. "I do. But I still cheer for the Redskins whenever they play the Giants. It's a D.C thing."
"I bet." Fiona said.
"Fi," he said. "I want you to know that this is as awkward for me as it is you. To be honest, I always thought that I'd just randomly run into you in a grocery store somewhere."
Fiona sighed. "Since it's just the two of us, I guess I can tell you how I felt." James glimpsed at the brunette beside him. "I wanted to call you and tell you how sorry I was… But my parents took my phone away. They didn't give it back to me until I was swamped with work at NYU. I…" Fiona paused before smiling. "I actually cried getting your messages."
"Sorry about that." James said with a grin, though he knew that this was a solemn moment.
"I didn't know what to think after you stop calling. I figured you'd gotten together with Manny, not Holly J." Fiona stated.
"I dated Anya first." Fiona gasped at the revelation. "Me and Holly J just grew close because she was there. A lot. Plus Anya was still into Sav. But I didn't just date right off of the bat. It took your brother, Emma, Manny, Anya, Jay, Sean, Heather, Peter, and Holly J for me to try again."
"Sounds… Sounds painful." Fiona said as she looked around. "Sand. Water. People."
"What are you doing?" James questioned.
"I learned that I only drink when I relive bad experiences and I'm reliving one right now. So they taught me this trick to describe my surroundings to get my mind off of it." Fiona explained.
"We can talk about something else." James suggested.
Fiona nodded. "Right, something other than falling in love and then being pulled apart."
James put his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts. He knew what she was feeling, he felt it too.
"Answer me this," Fiona said, gaining James's attention. "Do you love her? I see how you look at her but I know you. You have a problem saying 'I love you' to just anyone."
James sighed. "It's complicated. We don't say things like that but I guess it's apparent to everyone else, her mom especially." Fiona nodded. "How about you? You love Charlie?"
"I… Same. We don't say it, but people assume it." Fiona answered.
"Are they wrong to assume it?" James asked.
"So Manny's pregnant?" Fiona questioned spontaneously.
James walked in silence for a moment. She changed the subject pretty quickly.
"Yep. She and Liberty and Tinsley. All thanks to Las Vegas." James caught Fiona's eyes widening after hearing that Tinsley was pregnant. "Bobby's child. A girl I think."
"Oh." Fiona said. "Wow. Kind of sucks that the two guys I went to Vegas with got a girl pregnant and neither were me."
James chuckled. "Yeah, well, Manny and I haven't slept together since then. She's still with Craig. And Bobby transferred to Smithdale, so I don't see him like I want to." Fiona frowned. "Oh, I will finish our 'talk' about how he used to hit you. Suffice to say that I can't do it at The Break Room or I'll lose my job."
Fiona smiled. "You don't have to beat him for me Jaime."
"Then I'll do it until I feel better." James responded. "Either way, he's got it coming, no questions asked."
"Thanks." Fiona nearly whispered.
The two walked in silence until they came up on a couple getting married in the sunset. They watched the event with similar thoughts as the man kissed his bride, the small group around them clapping and praising them.
"How romantic." Fiona said.
James only nodded before the two continued their walk.
"How're your parents?" James asked, though he knew some bits and pieces of it through Declan.
Fiona sighed. "Legally separated. I also learned that I might have a younger sister out there." James hummed in thought. Declan did not mention that. "So my life has been crap since I've left and I'm just trying to make the best out of it."
"Well, the mother of my child and my current girlfriend are not the best of friends, plus whenever I want to do something, I have to check in with three pairs of parents. Mine, Holly J's, and Manny's. And because Manny is like a daughter to Emma's mom, sometimes her and Mr. Simpson too."
"The principal at Degrassi?" James nodded. "Wow… That is bad." James shrugged. "How're the Torres brothers?"
"Well, Adam's dating Clare and Drew's dating Bianca." James explained. "I've talked to their mom and Adam's going through therapy to prepare his operation after his graduation next year. Drew's got a scholarship to play for Bardell. Quarterback."
"Wow… I bet you're glad that you don't have to talk to them anymore." Fiona said.
"Actually, I talk to Adam every other day." James replied. "He still gets bashed about the whole FTM thing so whenever he can't deal with it, he comes by our place."
"That's good." Fiona said.
James nodded, wondering if she caught the slip. Technically, Fiona didn't live with him anymore and their place was actually his place now. If she did, she ignored it and kept walking.
"After hearing you two earlier," Fiona said. "I'm guessing sex is great."
James looked at her smiling face.
"If I tell you," James said. "You're going to have to tell me about you and Charlie." Fiona rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. You're asking about my sex life. I'm just asking for the same."
"You're such a pervert." she said shoving him slightly.
James grinned. "Fair is fair bird."
"You want to know about our sex life? We have sex. There." Fiona said.
"Fine. Don't tell me. I can imagine it then." James told her. "Remember bird, I know how you can be."
Fiona gave him a sly smile. "Oh, I've learned a thing or two since we were last together. A friend of mine works at a shop that sells nothing but sex toys and DVDs. How do you think I learned with Charlie?"
"I don't know." James said.
"And not all of them were pleasuring a woman." Fiona announced.
James looked at his friend beside him before seeing those flames in her eyes again. Those flames that once told him when she was in the mood to just take him then and there with no questions asked.
"This place is beautiful." Fiona said looking at the sunset.
"Yeah, it is." James said.
Fiona sighed. "Don't you wish you could just stay here and see this every night?" James nodded. "Too bad we can't…"
James had no clue on what she meant by "we can't" but decided not to dwell on it. In fact, he figured that now would be the best time to go back to Holly J or else.
"Um… I'm going to go check back in with Holly J, okay? Will you be alright by yourself?" James slapped himself mentally for the question. Of course she would not be okay by herself. She never liked being by herself.
"Did I say something wrong because if I did then I'm sorry." she said.
James shook his head. "No. It was nothing you said. I just…" James paused. He literally had no excuse as to why he wanted to leave Fiona other than the truth. "It's not you bird."
Fiona stepped in front of him and looked at him.
"Do you still love me James?" James felt his throat dry up again. Truthfully, he did. Months of not seeing her somehow made the love grow.
"Fi…"
"Jaime, I have to know. It's been bothering me all plane ride here." Fiona said. "Just tell me."
"I can't." James said.
"Why? No one is here but you and me." Fiona said stepping closer to him. "Tell me James. Do you still love me?"
"…" James only took in a deep breath. "Why do you want to know?" Now it was Fiona that was quiet. "Fiona, you can't be in love with me. You're-"
"Bisexual." Fiona announced. "And for some inexplicable reason, yes, I still do love you."
Heart beating faster than it should have, James just stared at Fiona quietly. This was not supposed to be happening. He was supposed to be moving on with Holly J.
So why was he moving towards Fiona?
Why was she moving towards him?
Why were they kissing?
James quickly pulled away. "I'm sorry bird, but I can't do this. Not to Holly J."
Irony. This had been his reason for not sleeping with Holly J in Las Vegas, because he could not cheat on Fiona.
"You still love me, don't you?" Fiona asked. James only nodded and she stepped away. "That's all I wanted to know."
"I'm going to go." James said. James saw the sorrow in her eyes and cringed inwardly. "Hey… How about you and Charlie go out to dinner with HJ and me?"
Fiona seemed to like the idea, smiling a bit.
"Sure." Fiona said as James began to back away. "I'll call."
James nodded as he walked away. Inside, he had a mixture of emotions. He was happy to know that she still loved him, angry that she admitted it now, frustrated at his complicated relationship with Holly J, and so on. He looked over his shoulder to see Fiona standing in the same spot, he eyes looking out towards the ocean. She looked so calm and yet so troubled at the same time.
His view was cut off but a text message.
-Come back to the room.- H. Sinclair
James sighed heavily. Just when life seemed to be getting easier, this had to happen. Oh well. He has been in a situation similar to this before. He knew how to get out of it.
James opened the door to the suite and saw that the room was dimly lit and smelled like vanilla. Looking around, he found Holly J standing in a white blouse and black shorts, an assortment of food on the table in the kitchen.
"You cooked?" James questioned moving towards the dining area. "Wow Holly J, I'm shocked at this."
Holly J only smiled. What little people knew about the couple was their limited time spent together in private. Due to their classes, programs and athletic clubs, respective jobs, and other things, James and Holly J did not get to go on the dates that they wanted to. So every moment that they got was cherished, even those that were spent watching TV.
"I wanted this to be special." Holly J said as she and James sat at the table.
"You succeeded love." James replied. "I guess this is a bad time to tell you that Fi actually wanted to us to join them for dinner, huh?"
Holly J nodded. "Yes. This is a very bad time." James only smiled. "But… If you want them to…"
"No. Let's eat alone. I'll text her the news." Holly J frowned.
"You know how I hate it when people send news over text messages. It's wrong. So call her. And Manny while you're at it." Holly J said. "The food will be alright, I promise."
James sighed as he took is cell phone out of his pocket. He noticed that his battery was getting low, so he decided to call Manny first. If his phone died, he could always go across the hall and tell Fiona face-to-face about the change of plans.
"James Nichols, this had better be important. I was nearly sleep with this kicking monster you call a son." Manny said.
"I just wanted to check in for the night. Normally it would be you calling me to tell me how bad you can't sleep." James said.
"Well not tonight. I feel comfortable, I'm sure he's asleep, and Craig was wiped out from earlier." Manny told him. "Oh! Emma says she's found a nice little house in her budget. She would've called, but being the midwife for me and Liberty is keeping her busy. Well, busier than usual."
James hummed in thought. "Hmm… I bet."
Manny sighed. "I'm glad that she and Sean have talked things out. The last thing I need is for her to drink out of guilt knowing that I can't." James laughed at that. She sounded so saddened by her lack of partying. "Shut up. It's your fault that I'm like this."
"Well, if you think about it, it was kind of your fault mate." James said. "You asked for one last time, remember?"
"Whatever Jaime." James heard her give a small giggle. "Your mom called by the way and I told her about who's down there with you."
James frowned. "And what did she say?"
"She said that you're probably caught between a rock and a hard place and I should annoy you until you fly back. Not everyone gets a vacation to Hawaii." James shook his head. His mother would say something like that. "But, seriously, how are you holding up with your bitchy girlfriend and high-class ex?"
"We're good." James said. "Um, sorry to call and hang up, but my battery's dying."
"Good… I'm almost asleep anyway…" Manny said. "Talk to you later. Oh, and bring me back a souvenir. And not like the Vegas souvenir."
James laughed. "Sure thing Manny. Bye."
"Bye." Manny said before the two ended their call.
"One down, one to go." Holly J said as James dialed Fiona's number. It felt almost foreign to him, and he was shocked that he still knew it by heart.
"Hey." Fiona answered.
"Hey bird, um, I'm going to have to put a rain check on the dinner thing." James said.
"Oh, no problem. I'm up here annoying Declan anyway." James figured that she was more hurt than she sounded. "See you in the morning Jaime!"
"Yeah… Bye." James said.
"Bye." she said hanging up.
James hung up and sat his phone on the table. Holly J took it and turned it off before doing the same thing with her phone. He raised an eyebrow at her as she smiled.
"Like I said, I want this to be special. No interruptions." James nodded a bit. He understood what she was thinking. "Unfortunately I couldn't get a bottle of champagne or anything like, so I got us some juice. All the taste without the alcohol effect."
James smiled. "That's perfect love. I've been around too much alcohol as it is."
Holly J smiled as the two began fixing their plate of the seafood and pasta that Holly J had prepared for them.
There was a moment during the dinner that James regretted almost everything he had done. He regretted trying to date Manny, he regretted getting drunk with Fiona, he regretted aiding Blue in his attempt to date Holly J, and then some. He regretted the fact that he had three great women in his life (Manny, Holly J, and now Fiona) who all have stuck by his side whenever he was in need.
The worst part about it was, he has done nothing but made their lives more complicated. Manny was with Marco, in a sense, when James met her and now she was carrying his child while with another guy. Fiona was with Bobby when James met her. And Blue, a friend who James has not really spoken to since dating Holly J, was clearly into James's current girlfriend before James and Anya split. The more James thought about it, the sicker he felt about it.
"Are you alright?" Holly J asked, sipping the grape juice in her glass. James nodded, causing her brows to furrow. "I know that look. What are you thinking about? You're in your 'I have a case that I can't figure out' mode."
James smiled. "Is that what you call that look?"
"That or your writer's block look. But this is clearly the lawyer look." she told him.
James sighed. "I'm just thinking about the past."
"Hmm… Something tells me that Fiona Coyne is somewhere in that." James saw that Holly J had no malice in her voice or anger on her face. More like comprehension of what he was thinking. "You two must've talked a lot."
"Finishing catching up from lunch." Holly J nodded a bit. "You seem quiet."
Holly J exhaled. "Jaime… This is the woman that you once loved, and probably still do. You know that my competitive side won't just sit by and hope that everything goes my way. I have to make it my way."
"I'm not leaving you love." James said. Holly J seemed to like the response and gave him a smile. "She asked about our sex life…"
James saw Holly J almost choke on whatever it was in her mouth, a response he was going for. Again, she was so hush about their sex life, giving Anya the bare minimal information. Then again, with their busy schedule, it wasn't like they were Peter and Victoria (who got together after Mia found the two one day) or any other couple that saw each other almost every second of the day.
"What did you say?" James's smile only grew. He loved seeing one of the most confident (he would never call her arrogant) girls so shy and timid.
"I said we had it." James told her. "I didn't want her to feel… Second-best to you."
"I bet." Holly J said before leaning back in her chair. "Can I ask you something? It's really nothing you have to worry about, just out of curiosity."
"Shoot." James noticed how she inhaled slightly and then exhaled slowly.
"Valentine's Day, Jane told Declan that she loved him and then they had sex." James frowned. This sounded like an everyday thing. "The next morning, he still hadn't replied to her and so now she's wondering if he really does or doesn't. She told me earlier today that he had avoided the conversation when they got to their suite altogether."
"Sounds like Declan to me mate." James said.
"It got me questioning… What do you love about me?" James had a feeling that this was where the conversation was going and he would have to blame Fiona for this later on. Somehow, he figured if Fiona had not have brought this up while they were walking, Holly J wouldn't have brought it up at dinner.
"I love a lot about you." James answered, a fluttering feeling building inside of you. "Looks, personality. There's not much I don't love about you."
"I was just wondering." she said as she rose. "I'm going to clean this up."
James nodded. Holly J had an entirely different glow at this moment and he just wanted to bask in it. It was probably because this had to be the closest he has ever come to just outright saying he loved her since they began dating. Or it could be because he was able to say things that Declan could not to Jane and she felt that much more superior to her friend. All in all, she just seemed to glow and he liked- no loved- that about her.
Rising from his seat, James grabbed both of their cell phones.
"I'm going to put these on the charger." he told Holly J, who only nodded in response.
Moving towards the bedroom, James smiled a bit. If felt good to make someone feel good about themselves, he admits. Being a bartender, he was used to seeing a completely depressed guy or girl rambling about some breakup. That was depressing, even for a guy who hardly cared about those sorts of things. He normally gave them whatever drink they ordered and watched the alcohol do its magic. But giving people helpful advice, like he did with Adam, and making them happy in their soberest of minds felt great.
Back to his task, James plugged his phone onto the charger before moving to do Holly J's. That is, until he saw that she had a text from Jane.
-Still won't say it. Help.-
James shook his head before putting his girlfriend's phone on the charger.
"Hey, there's a really good movie on and-" James did not let Holly J finish her sentence, scooping her up bridal style and lying her gently in the bed. "Well, okay. What's this about?"
"I love you Holly J. I want you to know that." he told her, gaining a shocked face.
"I love you too." she responded, though her voice told him how surprised she was to hear him say that.
He then kissed her gently, she responding ever so tenderly, yet passionate. It felt almost like their first time together when James had promised to be as gentle as he could with her since she was a virgin at the time. It was probably one of the more memorable times he could think of.
"Jaime, make love to me." she said quietly.
James nodded as he raised her shirt to reveal her stomach. While he gave her light kisses on her flat stomach, he was thrown back in time to their first time. This was how it all started. The little butterfly kisses on her stomach, the removal of her shirt, the removal of his shirt, removal of their respective pants and underwear, and then a small nod from Holly J that gave James the okay to penetrate her.
And this time was no different. As he pulled her off her laced panties, he locked eyes with hers, asking for permission to continue. She only smile and nodded, answering the unasked question. He would not go completely wild like a part of him was thinking, no, he wanted to cherish this moment. And with each stroke and each kiss, he thought about how perfect this moment was. She was intoxicating and he loved that about her. It was like the more he was away from her, the more he craved her. And truthfully, before today, it had been almost three weeks of her constant tortuous teasing to get him to reveal their secret getaway plans. So for the time being, he was going to have her any and everyway possible.
"I love you." James barely heard her, but he did nonetheless.
"I love you too." he responded before kissing her.
As they continued, he kept repeating one thing in his head over and over. Fiona was the past. If he could get himself to believe that, then maybe there was a bright future with him and Holly J. And that was something he was actually praying for at the moment.