Okay, it's been a while. Like, a LOOOOONG while. But I've come back with a finished request from Hercules :) Hope you enjoy.

Alice sighed and put aside her books. The assignment wasn't due until the week after but her sister had advised her to keep on top of her studies and get work done as soon as possible. Plus, it gave her an excuse to steer clear of her room for a few hours. Though not long enough for Alice. She took a loose page out of her copybook. She could always write a letter home to kill a bit more time. Tapping her pen lightly against her lower lip, she set it to paper.

"My dear father,

How are things at home? The nest must feel fairly empty now, what with Ciara, Angus and Dafydd in college and me at Shiz. If you're writing to any of them, tell them I miss them but make sure you add 'like a hole in the bloody head' for Angus!

Shiz is excellent. Thank you again SO much for sending me here. The classes are amazing and the teachers are 'sound' or "an-class" as Ciara would say." Alice hesitated, chewing her lip. "There's just one problem. My roommate. She's... to put it plainly, a stupid blonde frog. I hate her. So. Bloody. Much."

BREAK

Françoise pushed a clip into her already crammed yet artfully messy bun. She turned her head, examining it from every angle in the mirror. She scowled at the ugly line of duct tape dividing the mirror and the room. Now you didn't hear this from her, but Françoise approved of her roommate's idea. Sort of. Did that mean that she liked seeing duct tape in the room? Ew, no. She flinched every time she looked at the damn thing. The tape utterly destroyed what little beauty the room had.

It was better than the alternative of literally being on top of her roommate, morning, noon and night. That girl was such a freak.

Françoise glanced back at the carriage clock on her bedside table. She still had half an hour before meeting up with the girls. Delicately smearing on some lip gloss, she pushed aside the pile of envelopes scattered across her desk. She probably should write a letter home. After only a week and a half at Shiz, she'd already been sent five long and fawning letters from her parents, none of which she'd replied to yet. She pulled out pen and paper from under a pile of glossy magazines.

"Chers parents merveilleux.

There's been a bit of confusion here at Shiz. You see, I was meant to room with Julchen or Antonia but this stupid professor delayed me at the station so I was late for the room allotment. Not only that, a daft old bag of a teacher decided to arrange the rooms herself so we'd have to mingle with new people. And I got stuck this English girl who is ..."Françoise hesitated for a second. "Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe."

"Françoise, open up, girl! It's us!"

Françoise threw down her pink fluffy pen and dashed to the door. Antonia flung herself at her friend whilst Julchen leaned against the door frame, hands thrust deep into her pockets and smiling. "Ready to go, Fran?"

Françoise grabbed her handbag. "Born ready. To the café?"

"Hell yeah." Julchen poked at a section of tape. "The actual fuck, Franny?"

"Ugh." Françoise grabbed her two friends by the arms and linked with them. "I'll explain on the way."

The three of them strolled out of the girls' dorms and into the campus courtyard. Julchen tossed her head back, trying to get her fringe out of her eyes. "That girl is such a freak! Did she really try to summon a demon in your room?"

Françoise nodded. "She accidently summoned that Russian boy in our Geography class instead. Well, so she claimed. I saw him running out all dishevelled and our room was in such a mess when I got in."

Antonia gasped mischievously. "That sounds like a new rumour to me. Let's start it."

Françoise and Julchen stared at her in surprise. "You really don't like her at all. Like at all."

Antonia scowled uncharacteristically. "I hate her! We grew up in the same area and we always hated each other. She sank my Armada when I was ten!"

"Your... Armada."

She clenched her tan fists. "My fleet of toys ships that my brother carved for me."

Julchen patted Antonia's shoulder. "Cool your jets, girl. You've got so much that she will never have."

"Fab hair, the cutest butt and friends," chimed in Françoise.

Julchen laughed. "Damn right! Fran, your roommate is such a freak, it's no wonder everyone hates her."

Someone pushed through their little group and flounced away. Françoise watched the girl's blonde pigtails dance in step with her. "I think she heard you."

Antonia scoffed. "So? She knows we all hate her." She then smiled. "Anyway, let's get going~! There are churros with my name on them waiting at the café!

"I call the macaroons!"

BREAK

Françoise pushed open the dorm room door and flung her handbag across her bed. "Oh, you're here."

Alice glanced up from her embroidery. "Unfortunately." She pointed a thimble finger at Françoise's unfinished letter still sitting on her desk. "You might want to finish that. The post goes out early tomorrow."

Françoise sighed and flopped dramatically into her seat. She stilled and stared at her chair without actually getting up. (Mainly because that takes effort). "What happened to my chair, rosbif?"

The other girl's eyes returned her attention to her embroidery as she shrugged her shoulders. "A cleaner came in and replaced it. I think he said his name was... Thomas? Yes, Thomas Busby! I assumed you'd demanded that it be changed and got a new one with Daddy's money."

Françoise shrugged elegantly and turned back to her letter. Rise above the commoner, dear, rise above the commoner. Alice put aside her sewing, grasped something in mid-air and tugged hard. A bucket tied to invisible wire upended green slime all over Françoise.

Alice smirked. "Now you look like the frog you truly are." Françoise shrieked and stormed out of the room. Alice chuckled and patted the air next to her bed. "Excellent plan, Minty. And don't worry Uni, your plan's for when she comes back."