Me: Welcome to Chapter 7 of Life of a psychotic red-head! We're glad to see you! Right Yang!!!
Yang: (walks off)
Me:Great and she leaves me to do the disclaimer...ahem! me me me me me! fa la la la la ! Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do! Do a deer. A female deer. Re. A drop of--
Everyone else: JUST DO IT ALREADY!
Me: Sheesh! Fine! Roses are red, violets are blue. Me no own, so you no sue.
"Good morning!" said Mariah smiling at me
Okay...This has got to be some sick joke...very sick.
"She's not here for you" said Yang from my magically fixed dresser.
Then she's here for who?
"Hn." said Rei from behind me.
Ha! He's in bed with me...though we didn't do anything..unfortunately...Hm. I'm starting to feel deja vu. The last time I was naked and Yang was smiling...like she is now. Great. I can already tell that I am going to make a complete ass of myself again. I am so going back to sleep.
"TALA IVANOV DO NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP! WE HAVE A MEETING TODAY!" shrieked Thing one.
"Must you yell?!" I say rising up out of my bed.
"Um..." she said blushing furiously
Yang bursts out laughing. What? Oh... Okay so I sleep naked. Didn't we discover this already?
"Well Tala, I think that most people are naked when they're sleeping with someone." said Yang.
Not again. Sigh. Why me? Why? Does fate have some cruel intention or am I God's little joke.
"YOU WERE SLEE-- Mphm!" said Mariah behind a hand that came out of nowhere.
Oh look it's Brooklyn! And he's saved me...and staring at my nakedness. Is the whole goddamn team going to see me naked before we even have an official name?...You know when I put it like that I feel like a dirty slut. Once again this is one of those days when I should have never gotten out of bed.
"You're--"
"--naked. Yeah we discovered that." I said harshly
"No, well yes but...um...you're..." he said blushing.
What? It's not like I'm aroused or anything. I actually didn't think I did anything besides standing in front of you naked. Which is bad enough as it is.
"Here." said Yang handing me a pair of white boxers she got from my draw.
Oh. Why thank you. At least someone here is not gawking at the hotness that is Tala.
"The hotness that is Tala?" said Rei around a snicker.
"Yes." I said while sliding into the boxers.
Thankfully nature boy and thing one are to busy fighting with each other to hear that. Ha ha! Thing one can't get out of Brooklyn's hold. Ouch. That looked like it hurt. It seems like all the males in this house are going to have matching bruises. Is there a sign on our faces that says 'punch here' or something? I should record it and put it on the BBA website. Brooklyn vs Medusa. Who shall win? My bet is on Brooklyn.
"Okay that's enough!" said Yang getting fed up with the two of them. "I think enough destruction has been done already and everyone here needs to take their shower so hurry up!"
Well some one's angry... well more angrier than usual. I wonder if it has anything to do with that fan girl.
"Well? What are you all standing here for?! Your captain said that you had a meeting so get to it." she 'yelled' at use while glaring at us.
Well that stopped the fight...I should have recorded it and put it on the Internet. This way Mr. Dickerson could see how bad of an idea it is to have Mariah as a team captain and then I can be Captain instead. This way if we go traveling I can share a room with Rei...HOLY CHEESE AND CRACKER BATMAN! POTENTIAL RAPE ALERT! WOOOOoooooOOOOOoooooOOOO (1) CALL THE POLICE! 911! Oh wait! That in America...uh what's the number to Japan's police force? Uh...This is sad. If I'm ever in trouble I can't call for help. How fucked up is that?
"Um Tala..."
"Yes?"
"I'm going to need help."
Why not ask...oh wait we're the only ones left in my room. Yes I am that lazy.
"Help with what?" I say just now noticing the blush on Rei's face
"Well...help standing in the shower." he mumbled.
Is that me or have the angels begun to sing? No. He really just asked me to help him in the shower? HALLEUJAH! My prayers have been answered! Thank you rabid fan girl!
"Well if it's too much to ask then I could--"
"No. It's no problem." I said cutting off Rei who took my silence as unease
There's never any problem to me seeing you naked...not that I'm planning anything...what?! Oh come on give me more credit than that. I don't rape the cripple...no matter how sexy they are.
Lifting Rei off the bed I carry him to the bathroom and who do I just happen to encounter. Ten. Great. I bet you five more dollars that Yang sent him so he could help Rei in the shower.
"Give him here."
Yup. Told ya so. Seems like no one can trust me not to rape my kitten.
I reluctantly hand him over to Ten and watch them disappear into one of the bathrooms. Sighing soon after I realize two things.
I still haven't gotten the chance to see Rei naked.
And now all 3 of the bathrooms are in use.
Great.
"So we have to come up with a name and a plan"said thing one.
Obviously.
"Obviously" said Julia voicing my thoughts
You know what. I am really getting annoyed with the idea that everyone can read Tala's mind but Tala can't read anyone else's mind thing. I mean how unfair is that. They get to keep all their thoughts private but yet my thought are either accidentally blurted out by me or they just read my mind. Oh my god! Does this mean that they've seen my fantasies about my and Rei! Nooooo! I am going to commit suicide if so.
"Well first off Tala." Mariah said sharply
Thaaaaaat's me!
"You'll be our substitute." said Mariah.
What?! I don't think so. Tala Ivanov does not play substitute!
"Um. Mariah. With all things considering it would make more since that I'd be the substitute." said Rei.
Awww. He's willing to be the substitute for me. Do not cry tears of joy Ivanov.
"I have to agree with that." said Brooklyn pointedly looking at me for some odd reason.
What?! Can he read my mind too! Well sorry. You're not getting the same reaction Captain Planet.
"Me too." said Julia, "I mean considering that Rei's leg won't heal by the time that the tournament starts..."
"...fine." said Mariah
Ha! Take that bitch! I am no substitute!
"Well...we still have to think of a name." she said, "Any ideas?"
Wow. That slipped my mind. Usually Bryan comes up with the team name. Though cool, that German one was odd. I mean blitzkrieg? Wasn't that one of the tactics used against Russians during the World War? Didn't that at least strike him as odd. Considering we were the Russian team and not the German.
"How about A & D?" said Brooklyn
"Attention Deficient?" I guessed.
I feel stupid. I mean everyone is laughing at me. It's not like it was that bad of a guess was it? Sigh. Ivanov, just shut up and look pretty.
"No." said Brooklyn while laughing at me.
"So what's A&D stand for" asked Julia around her laughter.
Brooklyn shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I don't know. To me it sounded cool."
I already know who shouldn't think of the team name.
"...any other suggestions?" said Mariah while looking at Brooklyn oddly, who is staring at me again.
What?! I didn't even really do anything this time! Do you have a problem with staring?!
"No dear Tala, but now you just gave everyone else a reason to stare at you."
Damn. Can I go one day without slipping in monologues?
"Okay. Then since you're so...vocal today any ideas?"
Uh-oh. Um...
"Samurai Pizza Cats?" I whisper out. Thankfully no one heard me.
"Huh?" said Rei.
Aieeeee! He looks so adorable when confused! Oh wait! Aren't I supposed to think of a name...but Rei's staring at me ever so...No! Must concentrate and think of team name!...But he's sitting there...I would take him home if he wasn't already here...Team name...But Rei-- no!...Team name! Team name! Team Rei! Team...I hate myself...Sigh. I don't know.
"I got nothing." I say.
"How about something that's in every country that each of us is from." said Rei.
Brilliant idea! It's why I love you...Well one of the reasons.
"National Wildlife Preserve?" offered Brooklyn.
Strike two for you Brooklyn.
"A red light district?" said Julia
Jeez. Five guesses as to who the pervert of the team will be.
"A zoo?" said Rei.
Hm. That could be our first date.
"No. Those aren't good enough." said Mariah.
Excuse me? Any idea Rei gives is good enough!
"How about you or have you gone silent on us?" said Julia.
"A military"
"A military?!" said everyone.
I hate echoes.
"Yes a military. Think about it. Beyblade and war are similar in some ways." I said.
"How so?" said Brooklyn.
"War is when 2 countries battle each other for victory. Beyblading is when 2 opponents battle each other for victory. Both of them need an equal balance of strategy and strength and both do not end until there is one victor."I said.
Ha! I do have my brilliant moments.
"So what should we name ourselves then. Not Blitzkrieg again. No offence but that name was a little off." said Rei.
"Blame Bryan." I responded.
What? It's not like I thought of naming our team after a tactic that killed thousands possibly millions of my people.
"Hm...that's not a bad idea." said Rei.
Two points for me! Rei thinks I'm smart. He thinks the great and almighty Tala Ivanov. The king of ice and the captain of the (once) most feared team. The most generous person on the face of the earth next to Santa Claus. Who is painfully honest and the only occupant of his house who isn't psychic is now smart...I'm really going to invest in those cue cards right about now.
"How about team Phyrric Militia(2)?" said Julia
"Do you even know what a phyrric militia is?!" I said
"Do you know what Blitzkrieg is?!" she countered
Touche. Now everyone get off the fucking name! I get it already! God dammit! It was stupid to name your team after an enemy country tactic!
"Phyrric Militia it is then!" said Mariah slamming a spoon down on the table as her make believe gavel.
"Lunch time!" Brooklyn announced from the kitchen.
Huh? Why is Brooklyn...well slap my butt and call me a midget! I think Yang actually let someone help her cook!
"...What up with the silverware?" said Rei looking at the table.
Yeah. Why is there a knife, a spoon the size of my head, a very small empty bowl and one chopstick on the table? And that was at my spot alone. Is this supposed to be some type of cultural diffusion thing? If so it's not very good.
"Brooklyn wanted to set the table." Yang simply said.
And what country sets their table like this. No what psycho (besides Brooklyn) sets their table like this? Not I that's for sure.
"Do you like? I tried to get one item from each of our cultures." he said smiling.
One. What culture does this giant spoon come from?
Two. What planet did the aliens come from that dropped you off here Brooklyn?
"Let's eat!" he said excitedly sitting down and pointedly staring at me
What?! I have done nothing but stand naked in front of you and you said...wait a minute were you staring at my...oh no. Brooklyn I do not like you! I like Rei! Reeeeeiii!
"Yes?" said Rei.
"I was wondering if you would trade your giant...spatula for my chopstick." I said.
Is that a spatula? I'm not sure. I mean how many spatula's do you see that are a hexagon and looks like a bowl with a handle?
"Um...sure...I guess." he said handing me his 'spatula' and taking my chopstick from my outstretched hand.
And thus the trade of silverware (And other utensils that don't belong on a table. Like a electrical plug) begins.
"Will you trade me your knife for my cup?" said Brooklyn.
Are we the last two to make an exchange? Great. Now here comes the moment where everyone stares and I look like either I'm a generous guy ,Thus leading Brooklyn to think that I'm easy, or look like an evil bitch ,thus making Brooklyn think I'm playing hard to get. Help!
"...no." I say
Hey. I rather think that I'm playing hard to get and have him know that I'm ignoring him or lead him on while he knows that I'm gay. He just might try to take advantage of that. Trust me I wouldn't put anything past this guy. He's like a Rubik Cube with an extra color. Really complicated and confusing. Sigh. Now on top of keeping Mariah and Julia off of Rei, I have to keep Brooklyn off of me and get Rei on me. I hate my life.
(1) That was my very poor imitation of a siren
(2) Phyrric comes from King Phyrrus of Epirus. He led his men into war with the Romans and defeated them in 2 of the battles but the casualties in the end caused them to lose the war. Kinda of like World War I for the Russians.
A/N: I did it! Chapter seven...somewhat rushed. I'm going to France from Wednesday till Labor Day and I wanted to give you one more chapter before I go. Ja Ne and Domo Arigato to those who reviewed