I am SO sorry for the slow update – I truly did not mean to pull a George R. R. Martin. And as you've probably noticed, the chapter count changed. I gave up on the idea of wrapping this up in one chapter after the draft passed 12,000 words, which, I might add, is ten times longer than I ever intended this fic to be.

Yeah.

So, here is the next bit.

"Charging three-sixty! Clear! Holy shit… that actually worked… Tell the OR we're on our way! They've got two minutes to prep - he's redefining 'unstable'…"

….

Maria Hill and Nick Fury stood by a bed in the MedBay, staring at Phil Coulson as if they could simply will him to recover. The beeping monitors and the ventilator's hiss were all that punctured the heavy silence.

The tension between Fury and Hill was palpable.

"They say he should be fine," said Fury.

There was no response.

"He really was pretty lucky."

Still nothing.

"I mean, not lucky enough not to get stabbed in the first place, but a few millimeters to the right and it would've been a lot worse."

Answer came there none.

He sighed. "Go on. Say it."

"That was an unconscionable thing to do, sir."

"It worked, didn't it?"

"You could have at least told me."

"There wasn't time. To succeed, it had to be absolutely convincing. Given what was at stake, I'm not losing any sleep over it."

She crossed her arms. He was right, of course, but that didn't make her feel any better.

"It was his idea, you know," said Fury.

She laughed darkly. "That I can believe. Leave it to him to make his own death serve the objective."

"Let's just be glad it didn't come to that."

"This time."

He shrugged. This was the life they'd chosen, after all.

"When are you going to tell them?" asked Hill.

"I haven't decided. It may be advantageous to keep him under wraps, for a while."

She nodded.

Silence fell again. The machines whirred on.

She spoke again, some of the tension gone. "You going to tell him what you did to his trading cards?"

"When he's out of the anaesthesia."

She raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"Well," he amended, "when he's almost out of the anaesthesia."

She gave a gallows chuckle, then was quiet for another long minute. "He has someone."

"I know. But she's not his designated next of kin."

"No." Hill had already checked.

"Then it's the official story or nothing."

"But sir-"

"Do I stutter?"

"I can't just leave the woman hanging."

"Then tell her he's dead."

That option did not appeal, not when it wasn't exactly true. "I can't do that."

"Then leave it alone."

"He'll be pissed."

"In that case, you'll get the unique privilege of getting on Phil Coulson's ass for not keeping his paperwork up-to-date." Fury turned on his heel and swept out into the hallway.

Hill sighed and glared at the figure on the bed. "Wake the hell up, Coulson. You can't leave me in this madhouse by myself." She followed Fury out of the room.

….

From: Pepper

To:

Deputy-Director Hill,

I'm sorry to trouble you – I can only imagine the levels of chaos with which you are dealing right now – but, frankly, I was at a loss for who else to ask. Tony and I were hoping to find out what arrangements have been made concerning Phil Coulson's funeral: we would both very much like to attend. In addition, while I've no doubt that SHIELD has notification policies in place concerning his family, I also know that he and his brothers were not close, and I did want to make sure that Phil's significant other has been informed.

I understand that privacy policies may prevent you releasing this information, but if you could at least point me in the right direction, I would greatly appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Pepper Potts

Hill swore.

She tapped her fingers on the top of the desk. Yeah, that was pure Pepper Potts - "Oh, hi, I'm just Tony Stark's PA, could you help me out here?" Like she was begging to be underestimated – as if Hill actually would. You know who underestimated Pepper Potts? Very stupid people. Very stupid people who generally found themselves stripped of their companies along with their golden parachutes in fairly short order. And she'd keep up that sweet voice and demeanor even as she was crushing their skulls to a paste under her Louboutin pumps. Virginia Potts and Natasha Romanoff had more in common than either of them realized.

And while she was on the subject, Pepper was one thing – she and Phil had been friends for a while – but since when did Tony Stark give a flying fuck what happened to Phil Coulson? Oh, right, ever since Fury had to trick the snot into getting his whiny-titty-baby ass in gear. Yes, it was very impressive with the nuke, well done Stark, but why did it always seem to take a better man's death to get Tony Stark pointed in the right direction?

Nevertheless, she couldn't reply to Pepper without assuming that Tony would find out. Which meant that any obvious attempt to deny, obfuscate or delay would be followed shortly thereafter by JARVIS sneaking into their systems. (The IT department was torn between declaring a vendetta to the death and total, abject worship at the Altar of Stark.)

Hill let out a sigh of frustration and rubbed her temples.

To: Pepper

From:

Dear Ms. Potts,

You're correct – privacy policies do prevent me from giving out any sensitive information. We have yet to be able to contact his designated next of kin and until we do, we cannot disseminate any further details. Rest assured, as soon as I hear from them, I will be in touch, and I will keep Ms. Simon apprised of the situation.

Sincerely,

Maria Hill

Hill tapped her fingers on the desk again and hit send. It would have to do.

Wake the fuck up, Coulson. I mean it. I don't have the fucking time to sort out your personal life.

….

The room was dark when he opened his eyes. There were tubes down his throat and up his nose and in his arms and everywhere. He could hear the hiss and beeps of the machines. This was the hospital, presumably. He vaguely wondered what had happened to him now. He heard a noise – there was another person in the room. He tried to turn his head, but the muscles wouldn't cooperate.

"Hey, you're back with us, Agent Coulson! Good to see you! Angie, get Dr. Collins in here, and page Director Fury…"

….

Time was passing strangely. An hour, a day, a week... he honestly couldn't tell how much time had gone by. They took out a lot of the tubing, which hurt, and that had made him cough, which hurt even worse. He looked around and spotted Fury standing at the end of his bed.

"SitRep," he croaked out.

He heard Fury laugh. "It's a long damn story. We won, but with a hell of a butcher's bill. Loki got the gateway open – he used Stark's building for a power source – but your team came through. They turned the Chitauri back and closed the portal. We're working on getting Loki, Thor and the Tesseract off-planet ASAP."

Thank God. "Barton?"

"We got him back. He's going to be fine."

"He's SHIELD."

"We'll take care of him, Phil, I promise. No one is blaming him for this."

"Good." Alys. He wanted to talk to Alys - Maria would be able to find her. "Need to talk to Hill," he said.

"She's all right, too. She's supervising the repairs on the Helicarrier. I've already messaged her; she'll be down to see you as soon as she can."

It would have to do.

….

The painkillers fogged his brain terribly, and as warm and pleasant as the blissed-out haze was, he was having trouble distinguishing what was reality and what was a side-effect. He was pretty sure he'd seen Pepper slap Fury across the face, which was pretty unbelievable, and Steve Rogers (!) had been standing at his bedside, telling him how glad he was that he was still alive, and that they'd talk more when he was off the painkillers.

Yeah, right, like that was really happening.

As nice as it was to see them all (especially Barton, thank God they got back Barton, every minute he was under Loki's control was like a knife to the gut), he needed Alys. He needed to talk to Alys. There was something he was going to tell her, something really important, something he wasn't going to put off again. And he was sure he'd remember what it was as soon as he saw her.

Pepper's face reappeared from the fog.

"Alys," he whispered to her.

Pepper smiled. She straightened up a little and squeezed his hand. "Sure thing."

"What did he say?" Was that Stark's voice?

"He said, 'Alys.'"

"Take the jet."

"Way ahead of you, Tony."

….

Given the situation, it wasn't the easiest thing for the CEO of Stark Industries to simply take off to Portland, but Pepper was able to clear her schedule (mostly) for the next thirty-six hours, and so the corporate jet landed at Portland International late that night. Her assistant had called ahead for a hotel room and a car to take her there – Agent Hill had assured her that Phil's cellist would be kept in the loop, so barging in after midnight seemed unnecessarily dramatic.

The next morning, she went to the address her assistant had supplied. The door was answered by a small, weary-looking woman.

"Yes?"

"Hello... are you Alys Simon?"

"Yes." The woman's eyes narrowed. "Forgive me, you must get this all the time – but my goodness, you're a dead ringer for Virginia Potts."

"Oh! Well, I'm glad to hear it. I am Virginia Potts," she smiled. Stark Industries' CEO might be a high-profile job, but she wasn't that used to being recognized in public, at least not when she wasn't standing next to Tony Stark. "But I'm also a friend of Phil Coulson's –"

The woman's eyes widened and she suddenly gripped the door jamb. Her shoulders squared as if she were bracing for a blow.

"No! No! He's fine... well, not fine, but he's doing much better than he was!"

"Oh. Good." Alys stared at Pepper for a moment, then shook herself. "I'm sorry, where are my manners. Please come in." Pepper followed her in. "Do sit down," said Alys, gesturing to the dining room table. "Can I offer you some coffee?"

"Yes, thank you," said Pepper. The woman's face had gone eerily blank, and Pepper got the impression that she was in shock. A glance into the kitchen confirmed that theory - in the reflection on the glass door of the cabinet, Pepper saw Alys grip the edge of the sink with both hands, press her forehead to the countertop and take several deep breaths.

Oh, the poor thing!

Pepper looked away as the woman straightened up.

"Do you take cream and sugar?" came the voice from the kitchen.

"Black is fine."

Alys brought out two mugs and handed one to Pepper, and they both sat down. "Don't think I don't appreciate you being here to tell me this, but you're a long way from home – do you have business in Portland?"

"Well, no, really, I flew out here to see you. I was hoping you'd come back to New York with – "

"I can be ready to leave at your convenience, Ms. Potts." - Alys cut her off.

Pepper raised her eyebrows at that jarring reply. "Please, call me Pepper. And we can leave as soon as you're ready,"

"Let me just get a few things." Alys vanished into the hallway, but came back suddenly. "And do call me Alys."

Pepper took the opportunity to look around the apartment a little, trying to get the shape of the older woman's mind. Pepper smiled at the sight of the Captain America poster on the wall – spoils of that DiegoCon, unless she was very much mistaken. Had Phil had told her about Steve? That would be a hell of a secret to keep but probably not: until Phil had brought the briefs by, not even Tony had known.

Alys reappeared in a surprisingly short amount of time carrying a small valise and a large cello case. "I'm ready. If it's the same to you, I'll make what phone calls I need to in the car."

Pepper had no objection, and so, even with the morning traffic, they were able to board the plane within the hour. Alys was discreet, but Pepper didn't miss the way she glanced at the floor fore and aft – checking for the stripper poles, if Pepper had to guess: most people did. Pepper opted not to point it out.

"I have to make a couple of calls, I'm afraid – will you be all right?" asked Pepper.

Alys smiled politely. "I'll be fine, thank you."

Pepper was good at reading people: she had to be, in her job, but this woman was coming across as a complete enigma. Pepper simply could not find any purchase on that blank face to work with. She cared for Phil, that was obvious, but apart from that, Alys Simon was a total cipher.

"If you need anything, just ask Ron," said Pepper, gesturing to the steward. Alys nodded and thanked her again. The only two things that Pepper hadn't been able to delay when she was arranging this trip were the conference call to the Shenzen office and the VTC with their lobbying firm in DC, and even then she was making the Shenzen office come in at 4:00 am local.

It was good to be the Queen.

She headed back to where her assistants were setting up the first telecon. On the whole, she would much rather have been chatting with her guest – Phil always seemed so self-contained so it was only natural to be curious about the person who had broken through through that vast ocean of reserve – but duty, quite literally, called.

Thankfully, the conferences only seemed interminable. When they were over, Pepper gave her assistants more than enough work to keep them busy for the rest of the flight (as well as instructions that she was not to be disturbed) and invited Alys to have lunch with her.

"Will you have any trouble, taking the time off?" she asked Alys as the steward was serving lunch.

"No, thank goodness. They've been very kind. Ms. Potts – Pepper – I can't tell you how grateful I am for this," she said evenly. "I've been trying for more than a week to get a flight out – it's still a mess, even with LaGuardia and JFK open again. Honestly, if I had a license, I'd have rented a car and just started driving by now."

"Don't mention it." Pepper smiled. "The first words out of his mouth were to ask for you."

Alys seemed to bite down on a genuine smile – my God, a hint of emotion, finally – then swallowed hard. "You said he was doing much better...?"

"They didn't give you any details? Well, no, of course, they wouldn't. The only reason I know what happened is that Tony tends to run at the mouth when he gets angry. Phil was stabbed – the spear tore the pericardial sac, and caused a massive hemopneumothorax – that's when there's –"

"It's when there's air and blood in the chest cavity," finished Alys quietly, her face still a mask. "Stabbed – by one of the aliens on the street?"

"No, before the actual battle. He tried to take on their ringleader."

"Did he."

"I couldn't bring myself to watch the security footage, but Tony did – even wounded, Phil managed to tell Loki off, and then blasted him through a wall," said Pepper. "You know, he saved my life the first time we met, the night the arc reactor malfunctioned at SI. He's one of the bravest men I've ever known."

"That, somehow, is not a surprise." Again, that stifled smile, which quickly changed to a penetrating look. "SHIELD has been working with Iron Man for that long?"

"Well..." Pepper temporized. She was caught off-guard – she'd repeated the cover story over and over again since the incident, and most people had stopped questioning it ages ago.

"It's just either that or Mr. Stark has been fibbing when he says you've stopped making weapons. You and Phil are apparently close enough friends that you were willing to take time out of what I can only imagine is a mind-bogglingly busy schedule to come get me, all because he asked you to. I very strongly suspect if Phil knew you from any other context but work, we would have been introduced by now."

Huh. But then, it's not like she expected Phil's girlfriend to be an idiot. "True enough. Honestly, I'm so glad he's got you. He needs more of a life outside of work – being 'Agent Coulson' shouldn't be the whole of his existence."

Alys went very still, causing Pepper to wonder if she'd put her foot wrong. Alys sat back in her seat a little. Her face returned to a flat affect.

"He is 'Agent' Coulson, then?" asked Alys softly.

Pepper set down her drink. "You didn't know."

"He told me he couldn't talk about his job, so I never asked. He told me he worked for SHIELD."

"That's one way of putting it... he's the Director of SHIELD's right-hand man."

"Is he. How extraordinary."

Oh shit. Pepper mentally reviewed everything she'd told Alys so far – none of it seemed overly compromising, but that wasn't really her call to make, was it. They would have run a background check on her by now, anyway, wouldn't they? After all, if the two of them met at DiegoCon, then they'd been involved for a little over a year. Pepper resolved to do a better job guarding her tongue – she'd been living with Tony too long, of course Phil would have been more circumspect. Still, this seemed impossible. "You really didn't know."

"I suspected." Pepper gave her a questioning look. "He doesn't have the body of a desk jockey," Alys explained. "And when they started broadcasting the footage of the invasion, and I couldn't reach him on his phone, I left enough panicky messages that he would have contacted me if he could." Alys toyed with her water glass. "It was not my finest hour."

"It must have been quite a relief when you learned he wasn't..." Pepper found herself suddenly very glad that Agent Hill had been the one to make those calls.

"I nearly fainted," Alys replied shortly. She looked directly at Pepper. "Was Mr. Stark very badly injured? You can't turn on the news without seeing the footage of him flying towards that portal. That was astonishing."

"No, he wasn't. Thank God." Not that Pepper's nightmare generator had caught on to that. "But please, though, when you meet him, don't mention it. It's not something he enjoys talking about right now if he doesn't have to." Tony's nightmare generator had him chasing the nuke, missing the catch, and watching from a ring-side seat as New York City was consumed by a mushroom cloud. She very much doubted Tony had slept a whole night through since the week after the battle.

"Of course I won't, if you think that would be best..." Alys trailed off, as if expecting Pepper to continue, and that penetrating look was back. Pepper wasn't surprised: it was fairly out-of-character for Tony Stark to pass up a chance to bask in praise. Nevertheless, Pepper really didn't want to discuss it, and changed the subject quickly.

"Thank you." Pepper took another sip of her water. "It's gotten a lot better, but Midtown is still a mess so I had my assistant get you a hotel room just down the block from SHIELD, if you need it. We can cancel easily enough if you don't."

Alys looked a bit chagrined. "Good Lord, I didn't even think of that. I haven't been away long enough to think of needing a place to stay when I'm in New York. Thank you."

"Phil mentioned that you're a native – is everyone you know...?"

"No. Two good friends, and my ex-husband's brother," Alys said quietly.

"I'm so sorry," said Pepper.

Alys nodded. "Thank you. Really, it could have been so much worse. I'm not going to Phil's funeral, after all – I can get through anything."

Pepper gave her an understanding smile and tried not to think about what a close call that had been.

….

Tony met them at the airport – the plan was to go directly to SHIELD and have Happy take Alys' things to the hotel. As soon as they were under way, Tony started sizing her up.

"So you're Phil's cellist," said Tony.

"I am," Alys replied.

"I thought you'd be taller."

Pepper elbowed him in the ribs. Of course he was going to try this routine again. Tony ignored her.

"Sorry to disappoint," Alys said calmly, but her voice was getting measurably colder.

"No, you're just not what I expected. I mean, usually when people talk about "the little woman" they're speaking metaphorically."

"As you say," replied Alys. Pepper kicked his ankle.

"I mean, seriously, do they even make cellos in your size?"

"Evidently," she said, the ice taking over her tone like an advancing glacier.

"Oh, for God's sake, Tony... Alys, I'm so sorry."

"Oh Jesus, you raise your eyebrow, too... Come on, Pepper, it's like they're Saavik and Mr. Spock."

Alys' careful composure cracked when Tony snarked about Phil: she frowned slightly. Pepper turned to start chewing out Tony, but Alys beat her to it. "Well, don't knock pon farr until you've tried it," she said in the same flat tone.

Pepper and Tony both turned to stare at her, as if they couldn't believe that sentence came out of the mouth of a petite cellist in a Talbots twinset. A grin spread across Tony's face. "Awww... is it nerd love? That's not what I would have expected from a classical musician..."

"You, on the other hand, are exactly what I expected from Tony Stark," she said.

"That was a hidden dig at me, wasn't it."

"It certainly wasn't intended as a hidden dig at you," she replied. "And would you like some Windex for your glass house? I didn't realize the Iron Man suit had stacked heels."

Tony's grin got bigger. "If the platform shoe fits..."

"Seriously? 'Tony Stark, Super Genius' and short jokes are the best you can do? I can't believe -" Suddenly, Alys coughed and stifled a gag. She pulled a handkerchief from her handbag, covered her nose and mouth, and shot Pepper and Tony a horrified look. "What on earth?" she asked, her voice muffled.

"Decomposing dead alien. The little bastards flew everywhere," said Tony.

"It's actually gotten quite a bit better – they've found most of them," replied Pepper. "You get used to it."

The conversation faltered as they started to enter the damaged section of the city – neither Tony nor Pepper were inured to the sight of the scarred buildings and the flurry of the cleanup, and Alys turned pensive.

"Has there been a lot of looting?" asked Alys.

"Not as much as you might think. Actually, keeping the scientific researchers out has been more of a problem," said Pepper.

"What?"

"Shallow-minded control freaks!" said Tony. "First contact with an alien species, right? Every biologist on the entire goddamn planet wants to get their hands on a sample. MIT's biology department got together with the university's urban spelunking team and managed to make off with a half a ton of what they're referring to as 'tissue samples' before they had to make their escape."

Alys smiled. "There's something marvelous about that..."

They pulled up to the front entrance of what used to be a very well-kept secret.

"Okay, we're here. Do you have your identification ready?" Pepper asked. Alys held up her passport. "SHIELD's security processes are not very flexible. Tony and I already have access to the unsecured areas, but getting you in may take some negotiation."

"One does not simply walk into SHIELD's MedBay," said Tony.

"Pepper's doing the talking here, right?" Alys asked.

In the lobby, the receptionist took their names and checked their IDs. "Please sit down over there," he said, gesturing to a small waiting area. Once they were out of earshot, the receptionist picked up the phone and started talking.

They only had to wait a few minutes. "Ms. Simon?"

The three of them turned. A man approached them from the elevator bank. He shook hands with Tony and Pepper, then turned to Alys.

"Ms. Simon, my name is Agent Sitwell. Agent Hill has already initiated your visit request." Tony and Pepper traded a look of surprise over Alys' head. "If you'll come with me, we'll get this sorted out."

He led them to a small office off the lobby and produced a sheaf of papers.

"If you could sign here – we need your consent to a background check."

"My retroactive consent," she stated as she signed the form.

Sitwell turned his palms up in a not-very-apologetic gesture. He set out a fingerprint platen, a retinal scanner and a DNA collection set. Alys raised her eyebrows, but submitted to the scans and allowed Sitwell to swab the inside of her cheek. Sitwell ran everything through the database on his laptop, then nodded. He handed over a plastic badge with her picture already on it. "This will grant you access to the MedBay and the MedBay only. If you are found unescorted in any other part of the installation you will be brought up on charges under the Espionage Act of 1917, per our treaty with the government of the United States. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Sign here," he said to Alys, pointing to the correct spot on the sheet. When she was done, he looked up at Pepper and Tony. "I need the two of you to sign as witnesses." They complied.

"All right, you're good to go. Ms. Potts and Stark can simply walk you back to MedBay." He picked up the paperwork, tapped it into order, put it back in the file and walked to the door. Just before he left, he turned back. "And, Ms. Simon?" he smiled. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Thank you?" she said as he retreated. "That was unnerving."

"That was easy," said Pepper. "I'm surprised Maria didn't mention to you she was setting this in motion..."

"Who?" asked Alys.

"Agent Hill?" replied Pepper.

"I didn't... you know what? Forget it. Let's just go."

They hurried to the MedBay, and to the private room Phil had been moved to. Pepper and Tony hung back as Alys ran the last few steps. Pepper smiled. Tony reacted as he always did in the face of naked emotion. "Right, I'm not sure I can handle the sight of Coulson sucking face. I'm out of here..."

….

They told him they'd be stepping down the morphine a little, which was fine by him because, you know, right now, everything was. Admittedly, he would be quite glad to stop seeing things that weren't there – he had vague memories of Barton sitting silently next to his bed, which was entirely possible, and of babbling all about Alys to Natasha, but "Steve Rogers" came by to visit him again, and how likely was that to actually have happened, really?

A warm, callused hand captured his. "Phil…"

He tried to smile. That was the voice he wanted to hear. He opened his eyes. There she was sitting in the chair next to the bed, a terrified expression on her face.

"It's okay. Don't worry. I'm okay" He furrowed his brow. "You're not a hallucination, right?"

She laughed. "Not the last time I checked," she grinned. Ah. That was much better.

"I love you. Marry me."

She let out a huff of air. Her eyes now had tears in them, but somehow that was all right. "Tell you what: ask me again when you're not completely stoned on painkillers, and I'll say yes."

"Okay." He held onto her hand like it was a lifeline. "Don't go yet."

She stood up and gently kissed his forehead, then sat back down. "Don't worry. I'm not. I love you, too."

He drifted back into sleep again, still holding her hand.

….

He awoke again a little later. His head, for the first time, was clear – the wound ached, as it would, but the pain wasn't yet unmanageable. He looked over at the forest of poles by his bed – they'd put him on a PCA machine, which was good. Anything that gave him more control was good.

He looked over next to the bed and saw Alys. She sat reading her tablet, the chair pulled as closely as could be managed. She looked awful, careworn and tired, with dark circles under her eyes. He tried to put his memories to order – had he really babbled at her like that? Had she really answered like she had? Or had that all been an opium-dream? Did he dare ask her about it? Oh, by the way, did I happen to propose the instant you got here?

Yeah, no.

For lack of any better idea, he simply said, "Hi."

Her head shot up, and she dropped the tablet on the table.

"Hi." She paused, looking at him as if she couldn't believe he was there. They sat in silence for a long moment.

She spoke first. "So I guess now I know what you do for a living."

He laughed, a terrible wheezing sound that hurt. She blanched paper-white and lunged for the call button. He caught her wrist and shook his head. "'m okay. I'm okay. Just getting used to it."

She stood up, visibly dithering. She kept moving her hands like she wanted to touch him but didn't dare.

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm not that broken." He'd never seen her so upset, nor heard her voice so thick and scared. He hardly knew what to say.

"Oh Phil…" She perched on the very edge of the bed and carefully rested her head on his good shoulder, putting her arm in his lap. He snaked his arm around her waist and pressed his head to hers. She didn't cry, exactly, but her breathing started to hitch, and the thin cloth of the hospital gown on his shoulder grew damp.

He murmured reassurances, over and over again. "I'm all right. I'll be all right. It's okay."

"You told me to leave town and three days later New York was invaded by aliens! Did you know this was going to happen?" she asked.

"No. I just knew that something was. And New York will always be a much bigger target than Portland, so I wanted you far away."

He felt her nod.

"Is everyone all right?" he asked. "I mean, of your friends."

"Dashiell and Finn are dead. Angelica hasn't been found yet. Finn's funeral is the day after tomorrow, and I'm not sure what they're doing about Dashiell's yet. I don't think that even Millicent will be able to keep that from being a three-ring circus."

"I'm so sorry."

She laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you did everything you could to prevent them..." She stood up to get a tissue and blew her nose. Her composure returning, she sat back down in the chair, and held his hand in both of hers, resting her arms on the bed.

"Are you all right? You look terrible."

"Says the man with the gigantic hole in his chest? Yes, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping well." The grip on his hand got tighter. "But you're going to be all right?"

"I promise. I'm going to get to spend some quality time with the physical therapists, but I'm going to be all right."

She nodded.

"You should go get some rest," he said.

"No. Not yet." She pressed a kiss to his palm. "I can't just yet." She rested her cheek on their clasped hands, and her breathing started to hitch again.

He found himself at a complete loss for words. If he'd been well, he would have gathered her up into his arms and held her and kissed her until she regained her equilibrium, but if he'd been well enough to do any of that, she wouldn't have been crying. She finally stopped and shifted a bit, resting her head on the blanket next to his thigh. He lifted his hand to stroke her hair and cup her cheek, and she started to doze.

He thought she was completely out, but just before she drifted off, she rallied a little.

"You know, it's the strangest thing," she whispered. "The man in the Captain America costume? He fought exactly like Steve Rogers. I mean exactly. It was uncanny... and all I could think was how much I wanted to be able to tell you that."

He smiled at her, but she was too out of it to notice. He took her hand again and held it tightly as his mind raced to figure out a course of action.

How on earth am I going to explain all this to her?