Alright guys time for another random update. Hard at work on Chapter 9 for my other story but felt like typing this, whilst also doing college work! im so pro (at least more pro than the ultragayrines) lulz punz.

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Wow do I have a CRAZY story for you guys. I'm gonna start from the beginning, so as not to overwhelm you guys with all this.

I woke up this morning on my comfy ass bed that I commandeered in the name of "comfortable sleeping arrangements" right? So I woke up and went to go get some food, and being a vegetarian, (mostly to spite the Hive-Mother HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE) I found out this ship had an entire biome that was like a greenhouse. Even though the power was out the place was running on backup generators to keep the veggies from going rotten. (I love humans) anyways I made myself a delightful salad and began to feast on it with the ferocity of a Genestealer. Man I ate the hell out of that salad. But while I was feasting the Gellar Field stopped working for literally ONE second, and then this chick popped up on my shi-

"Hweeee hwant to talk tooo!"

"Hold on I'm telling the story!"

Sorry about that. Anyways this human girl popped up on my ship and she starts walking around the place right? Me being a total wuss hid, then the girl proceeds to pull a banner out of literally NO WHERE and says "HWEE CAP-TOORED EEET FOR KAYOS!" I don't even know what that means, my first plan of action is to teach her to speak PROPER low gothic… but that's not important at the moment, what is important is she SAW me because I'm a clutz and tripped while running to my bedroom. Instead of trying to kill me, she jumps at me and proceeds to call me "kuuuute".

"Hyu are ghetteeng to the guuud part!"

"C'mon stop interrupting me!

"hy are so-rrey"

Again, I apologize for the interruption, but after she called me cute, she asked me my name. I was perplexed at the question. It did seem odd that EVERYONE else in the entire GALAXY had a name but me. Even some 'Crons have names! Like c'mon… Trayzn is the coolest name in the universe… but yeah. I just said I didn't have one. So you know what she did? This girl had the AUDACITY to pick my name for me. But all is forgiven because it's a nice name it wa-

"MARCEEES!"

Yeah that. Marcus, it's not scary, and if we run into anyone else I had hide somewhere and pretend to be a human over the Vox. Flawless plan if I dare so myself-

"hweee dunt theenk soooo!"

"Shush you, it's perfect, WHO IS THE GENIUS HERE?"

"hwee are!"

"GUFFAW"

Anyway, after she gave me a name she said her name was Cultist. Cultist? What a plain name for such a pretty human, like c'mon purple hair and stuff? That's a rarity from what I've gathered from these Inquisitional tomes. Which is pretty weird, you'd think the Inquisition would catalogue important things… (but that wouldn't be very grimdark huh?).

"Hey Cultist did you say that?"

"noooooo…."

"Who said that?"

(I did)

"Who are you?"

(The watching this happen. It's totally about to be REALLY grimdark and utterly hilarious.)

"hwaaaat eees Greemdark?"

(You'll find out soon enough.)

Well that was odd, I think the ships machine spirit might've just talked to Cultist and I. Which isn't improbable, from what I've gathered Machine Spirits are what the Adeptus Machanicus use to make machines 'Smart'. It's really just a dead person's brain. That's actually kinda freaky.

(AND TOTALLY GRIMDARK)

"Are you gonna keep interrupting me like Cultist does?"

(I've been alone out here for like 15 years. Let me have my fun.)

"Not if you keep interrupting me m8"

(GUFFAW whatever.)

ANYWAY back to ME the incredibly awesome intelligent 'Nid, I've yet to tell you about something even freakier that happened today. I went to the deepest parts of the ship and found a research lab. Y'know what I found in there? A literal stache of dead Orkz, 'Cron and Tau Weaponry, and a dude frozen in a cryogenic pod, apparently the power didn't die out there either. This ship is such a fucking Mary Sue.

(Yes I am. I make Kaldor Draigo look like a bitch boy. Serious, he thinks he's cool for carving a name on Mortarion's heart? Try living in the void with no power, while somehow keeping the greenhouse from shutting down, keeping the Gellar field active, and Primarc- woops.)

"Wow, we're you gonna say PRIMARCH?!"

(Cat's out the bag huh? Yeah, I've got a Primarch down there. WHATS IT TO YA?)

"Well I thought they all died or disappeared or defected to-"

"KAY-OSSSS! Hwe are sorry hy hwantid to talk to!"

(HUEHUEHUEHUE that's what everyone WANTED you to believe!)

"Well…. Who is it?"

(Well… to make this conversation not be pointless I'll tell you. It's none other than Konrad Curze!)

"He eez Ka-yoss!"

(Not anymore he isn't, see when that assassin "Killed" him, she somehow only killed Night Haunter which was his split personality, which is the side that fell to Chaos.)

"Wow. That's confusing. Seriously, that doesn't make any sense at all."

(No it doesn't welcome to the 41st millennium. Nothing makes sense at all.)

"Do hweee makeee shenseee?"

"Nope Cultist you don't but you're my best friend so it's oka-"

"FWIENDDDDDD!"

Ow. Okay, I've had enough for today, and I'm sure you the listener is totally confused. Don't worry, Next transmission I'll make sure I'm alone so this doesn't happen.

(You are never alone. HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE)

So much for good writing. Seriously this story is only for the lulz. Don't leave any hate in the reviews plz (Yes the writer of this story is a wuss). Am not… (Are so wuss, that's why your Desktop background is Hanako from Katawa Shoujo and you are afraid to ask that pretty girl at school on a Dat-) AHHHH END TRANSMISSION.