Okay I'm going to Tennessee for a few days so I decided to update this story again before I left. I got a review from a person called Kit saying "Okay now im confused" HUEHUEHUEHUE JUST AS PLANNED! Let me add some clarity. Cultist is the creation of another person who I added (you mean stole) shutup, I'm borrowing her because she's adorable! Also the stuff about Konrad Curze, they say that he was killed by a Callidus Assassin BUT there is no evidence. Just as the assassin was about to land the killing blow the pict went to static. SO I decided to reanimate him as a good guy, meaning "Night Haunter" was killed but not Konrad. [Konrad had split personality disorder basically.] Also Machine Spirit (me! The Inquisitorial Battle Ship!) is a dead person's brain. Adeptus Mechanicus use these instead of CPUs. ALRIGHT ENOUGH FLUFF EXPLANATION READ THE STORY!

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Alright guys I'm back. Nothing super exciting has happened today, at least for now, but seeing how this is becoming a daily routine I decided to record anyway! I managed to hide myself so hopefully Cultist and Machine Spirit don't find m-

(I told you, you're never alone. Don't you pay attention? I thought you were a Genius…)

"C'mon are you serious? You can talk to me from ANYWHERE?"

(Yes I can. I am the ship. Mwhahahah)

Ah bollocks. Oh well, at least Cultist won't be able to find me. She's cute and nice, but her voice drives me crazy!

"hwe know. Hwe are sahseptable to speech impeedementsss"

"Oh… Sorry Cultist, I didn't mean to be so rude."

"Why are yhu apoloogizeeng eet es okay"

Well at least she's not overly sensitive, which from what I've gathered through my many forays into the world of Maga, human women are easy to upset, and are way too emotional. But I digress… I wish we could fly this ship to different places. I'm bored with forever flying in the Warp.

(If you wanted to go somewhere you could of just asked.)

"What? We don't have a navigator or astropaths or any of that stuff?"

(You're forgetting I'm a total Mary Sue, and can ignore all of that pussy shit.)

"How does that make sense? Like, at all?"

(It makes sense because I said it makes sense.)

"Hwee dunt theenk eet works liek dat."

(Hush you. Alright lets go somewhere interesting… hmmmmm how about we fly towards the Ultramarines homeworld and troll the poncy boys in blue. Maybe we could find a way to steal Rowboat Girlyman's body. Y'know, for the lulz.)

"What…. Where did they get your brain from?"

(GUFFAW it's usually impossible for Machine Spirits to know that, but in the name of the plot moving forward, I do. They found my brain in a fat guy who really liked the interwebs.)

"That explains a lot. Honestly."

(HUEHUEHUEHUE. Sooooo… To Macragge?)

"No. We should go to-"

"HWE KNOW HWERE HY SHUULD GO!"

"Uh… where Cultitst?"

"Hwe shuuld go to Terra and capt-oore eet for Kay-oos!"

"Uh….."

(Uhm…..)

"FUCK NO" (FUCCCCCCCCCK NOOOOOOOO)

"Hwe thought eet was a guud idea"

"Let me think…. Let's go to the Ulthwe Craftworld and troll that total dick Eldrad!"

(…. I second this plan.)

"Hwe theenk thees eees good too."

"SET A COURSE!"

Alright, now that everyones off doing their own thing, I wanna tell you why I don't like Eldrad. See the Eldar pysker that turned into me used to get trolled by Eldrad A LOT. So in the name of vengeance we're gonna kidnap one of his daughters!

(Told you this story was gonna get grimdark! HUEHUEHUE)

"Shouldn't you be planning the route?"

(Already done. We'll be there in like a week, apparently we're really close.)

"sweeeet."

MWHAHAH My evil plan is totally coming to fruition. I'm still contemplating on waking that Primarch up. He seems like a cool guy.

(If you wanna wake him up we can, but be warned, he doesn't like Xenos like you.)

"Oh well then fuck that. Let the bastard stay frozen, racist pig."

(Where'd you learn that term? Malcom-X?)

"Uh… No comment. Now leave me alone. I want to talk to the datapad WITH NO interruptions."

(Yes sir preacher.)

Machine Spirit's cool but he can be a total jerk sometimes. But I guess I can be as well. I feel bad for making fun of Cultists voice. She wasn't scared of me even though I'm an ugly little 'Gaunt. Gotta find a way to make it up to her…. Oh well. See ya listener.

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Alright I'm starting to think some people are not familiar with the term 'Mary Sue'. A Mary Sue is a completely OP motherfucker who defies everything and breaks the very fluff/rules/meta of a game/fictional universe/IRL. Master Chief is a Mary Sue, Calvin Johnson (WR for the Detroit Lions) Is a Mary Sue. AND I AM A MARY SUE HUEHUEHUHEU (No you're not bitch boy, you're like everyone else. You even have a shitty sense of humor this chapter wasn't even funny.) Hey leave my writing alone :[ (No. Bitch Boy.) D: