Chapter Four

Caffeine

Unfortunately for Ralph, things were not going to go so smoothly after all. When he reached the stretch of sand where the other racers were, Vanellope was glitching about at frightening speed, chattering almost to the point of being incomprehensible. On the sand, a half-liter bottle of soda lay completely empty. The other racers looked on helplessly, not knowing what to do.

"I'm sorry!" Taffyta pleaded as Ralph slapped his forehead. "I only turned my back for a moment, and she chugged the whole thing."

"The whole thing?" said Ralph.

Taffyta gulped. "Yes."

Ralph looked at Vanellope again. She had started alternately spinning like a top and standing on her head.

"I'd better take her out of here," said Ralph. "You guys clean up and get back to Sugar Rush. I'm afraid this party's over."

"What about the Random Roster Race?" Rancis asked. "We'll still have to do that before the night's over. And Vanellope's one of the racers."

"I think she'll be a no-show tonight," said Ralph. He grabbed Vanellope by the hair to get her attention.

"Ow!" she cried. "Oh, it's you Ralph. That hurt you know. Did you know soda is good? Why haven't you let me have it before? It's bubbly. It's bright. It makes me happy. I'm happy! I'm going to dance! I'm…"

"Vanellope," said Ralph. "Why don't you change out of your swimsuit?"

"Okay!" she said, grinning madly. "Say, have you seen that new game based on The Scarlet Pimpernel? They're making classic novels into games now! We've gotta-"

"Vanellope," said Ralph.

"What?"

"Just change out of your swimsuit."

The task of getting Vanellope back to Sugar Rush with minimal disruption was hopeless from the start- at least the part about minimal disruption was. She indeed came back, but she was so hyperactive during the return trip that Ralph had to apologize continually to all the characters she accosted, or bumped into while turning cartwheels, in Game Central Station. The process took well over an hour.

Once they were back in Sugar Rush, Vanellope promptly ran straight down the rainbow path.

"Hey, wait up!" Ralph called.

"Catch me if you can!" Vanellope cried, continuing to run as fast as she could. "I'm faster than you- oof!"

She had crashed into a candy cane tree and was now flat on her back, breathing hard. Ralph took the opportunity to catch up to her. Grabbing her by the back of her jacket, he hauled her upright.

"What was I doing?" she asked, her voice much calmer than before.

"Vanellope," said Ralph. "Do you remember me telling you not to drink caffeinated soda?"

Vanellope looked thoughtful for several moments. "Er…yes."

"Do you know why I said that?"

"How can I? You never really explained- oh wait, you did, but I've forgotten. Tell me again?"

"You're something of an energetic person," Ralph explained. "And caffeine is a stimulant. And if someone as high…high…" Ralph fumbled for the most tactful phrase to use.

Vanellope sighed. "Maintenance?" she asked.

"Well, I wasn't going to put it so bluntly, but yes."

"Ouch," Vanellope said glumly.

"The bottom line is you and half a liter of caffeinated soda don't go together. And you missed the Random Roster Race as a result."

"Oucher," said Vanellope.

"And you kind of embarrassed yourself- and me," Ralph added.

"Ouchest," said Vanellope.

"And those last two aren't even real words," said Ralph.

Vanellope's expression became still glummer.

"Come on, Citizen Fart-Feathers," said Ralph. "Let's get back to the castle."

"It's okay," said Vanellope. "I can make it from here."

"Hey, you sound a little too down," said Ralph. "Don't beat yourself up. Just take the lesson you learned and make it stick."

Vanellope raised her head, offering a slight smile. "No more caffeine," she said. "Cross my heart."

"Now that's a bit more like the Vanellope I know," said Ralph. "You sure you can make it back to the castle?"

"Uh-huh," she replied.

"Alright then, until next time," said Ralph.

As he turned to go, he heard Vanellope crying: "Wait!"

"Yes?" said Ralph, turning back.

Vanellope pulled a small sack from her jacket pocket. "Give this to Q-Bert," she said. "I…uh…got it for him at the shop in Lifeguard. And tell him I'm sorry."

"I'll do that," said Ralph.

I wonder what it is? he thought to himself as he headed back to Game Central Station. But no- I can't open someone else's present.

As soon as Ralph arrived back in Fix-It-Felix Jr., he went straight to Q-Bert's house and knocked on the door.

" #$^^?" Q-Bert asked as he opened the door.

"We had some problems," said Ralph. "You probably already heard about them."

Q-Bert nodded.

"But everything's fine now," Ralph finished. "Anyway, I've a message from Vanellope. She says she's sorry."

"%%^?" Q-Bert asked.

"Yes, really," said Ralph. "And she got you a present." He laid the sack down in front of Q-Bert. Curious, Q-Bert poked around in the sack with his snout. His snout closed around an object which he withdrew and set on the ground before him. He stared at it for a moment, and then blushed with pleasure and fainted.

"A Rubik's Cube," said Ralph, eying the gift. "That sure was thoughtful of her."