Chapter Nine

"Okay, K9 are you ready to play a prank on Romana?" the Fourth Doctor asked his faithful dog.

"I do not understand, Master," K9 replied.

"Prank, joke, winding someone up, taking the mickey out of them," Four said in exasperation.

"Still do not understand, Master. Why do you need to take someone called Mickey out of Mistress Romana?"

"Never mind, just…keep quiet while I do this. Is that understood?"

"Affirmative, Master."

The Doctor petted his head and stood up. K9 followed him as he made his way to the Console Room.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Oh, there you are," The blonde haired Romana said when Four and K9 came into the room. "I found a wonderful frock in your wardrobe room. Do you like it?" she added, spinning around and showing off the blue dress with frilly white lace trim.

"I suppose so," the Doctor grunted, his face a grimace as he staggered towards the console.

Romana stopped spinning.

"Doctor, is something wrong?" she said, walking over to him.

"No, no, nothing wrong, just a bit of morning sickness, that's all," the Doctor said, holding up his hand.

"Morning sickness?" Romana said.

"Yes, I'm just a tad ill this morning and I can feel the child moving around and it's bringing a bit of discomfort."

"What?" Romana said.

"Nothing, nothing," the Doctor said dismissively as he waved his hand around.

"No, wait, you said a child was moving around, what child?" Romana said, walking up to him.

The Doctor let out a heavy sigh.

"I wasn't going to say anything until I was sure," the Doctor said, putting a hand on her arm. "But I'm…pregnant."

"What?" Romana said.

"It's true," the Doctor said, nodding.

"You can't be pregnant. Men don't get pregnant."

"Says who?" the Doctor said.

"Um…says the laws of nature, for starters," Romana said.

"Nature is unpredictable, always has been," the Doctor said, pointing his finger at her. "You're a girl so you don't know anything about the male physiology."

"I know you can't get pregnant, Doctor. I do know that much about the so-called male physiology."

"Well, apparently…I'm different."

"You can say that again," Romana muttered.

"And before you say anything, I'm keeping the baby. No abortions for me."

"So…" Romana said, deciding to play along, "who is the fa…moth…who is the parent?"

"I don't know, it's a mystery."

"I'll say," Romana muttered.

"I was thinking about naming the child, Shada. It has a nice ring to it. Especially calling her in to dinner. SHAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Okay, Doctor, I think that'll do," Romana said, holding up her hand.

Romana's eyes widened when she saw K9 and suddenly had an idea on how to call the Doctor on his bluff.

"Well, we better let K9 scan you and see how far along the baby's come," Romana said.

"Um…no, that's alright, you don't have to do that," the Doctor said, backing away.

"Why not? It won't hurt a bit and it won't take a tick," Romana said sweetly.

"No, that's alright, I don't want to inconvenience K9."

"Inconvenience him? Scanning is one of his uses, Doctor. He won't mind."

"No," the Doctor said firmly.

Romana sighed angrily.

"K9, is the Doctor lying?" she finally said to the robot dog.

"K9, keep your mouth…" the Doctor started to say but he was cut off when K9 said, "Affirmative, Mistress, Doctor Master is taking the mickey out of you. Please explain who Mickey is and why he is inside you?"

"It's a figure of speech, K9," Romana said while the Doctor gave her a sheepish look. It's a way of saying the Doctor was trying to fool me with a practical joke. Unfortunately, he failed," she said smugly.

"Yeah, well…I'll succeed sometime, just you watch," the Doctor muttered.

Romana skipped over to him, patted him on the head and stepped lightly out of the room.

"Oh, I'll try that prank again sometime and I'll succeed in fooling someone with it, I swear I will. The Doctor isn't a quitter!" he vowed.

He looked at K9 and shook his head.

"And you, you need to learn to be quiet when I tell you to be quiet," he said, pointing to him.

"Mistress Romana asked me for information and I provided her the information she requested, that is my function, Doctor Master."

"Yeah, that's the problem, the next time I try that prank, you have to be somewhere else," the Doctor said. "But no matter, for now, let's go find something to do. Come on, K9."

"Affirmative, Master," K9 said before following the Doctor out of the room.