Hanging by a Moment
- Blood Lines
Part 2
Author: Jen
THE REFORMATTED VERSION which means for you readers you should get it the way it is in my word document & not the confused first version that was up that got messed up in the uploading with all those long paragraphs, so sorry & you have a point there is two separate stories in a way but it should merge into one in the next two chapters!
Note: ok I could say a whole lot instead all I will say is this story is about the relationships between each character & I tried to make something from what the official site tells you about Nick although whether I've done any of these characters justice remains to be seen I leave that up to you & this story is still no where near complete! N/S & possible hint of G/C
Sorry this took so long work and the fact its not my computer has held this up and if I done this half right it should pose more questions than answers…
MAJOR ANGST & these characters do not belong to me I just borrowed them again!
It was as he expected a large gathering, Stokes was a familiar name in these parts and his father had been well liked. However as he stood now; slightly apart from the rest of his siblings, his eyes studying those mourners who had come to gather for a man that had reached the top of his profession on the Texas Supreme Court before his sudden untimely death only two days ago.
All his well trained CSI mind could think about was of those that had come and shook his hand and stood before him now had not been his father's friend but had been his enemy, for the justice system like everything else had those kinds of enemies to many more to the point…
He shook his head trying to clear it wondering why the heck that thought had even entered it; his father had died of natural causes nothing more. His gaze fell back on the coffin and he felt something inside give his thoughts becoming altogether different…
Death leaves nothing; the soul gone, the body borne back unto the earth that it came from, it is final and complete and the coffin hit the dark Texas soil…
A shiver ran through him although it was not cold remembering the blank dead eyes of his father. The father that could no longer see the son returned to him by his own death.
His heart was confused even now looking at the open grave that would be his father's last resting place. He closed his brown eyes but the memories still came. Of the father that he was never fully able to gain the respective off, whom never fully understood how much damage one last minute baby sitter done to the live of his youngest son.
It was to impact the rest of his life, the choices he made and mould him into the man he had become.
Blood runs thicker than water; he was his father's flesh and blood. Law and justice had been forever part of Nicholas Stokes life; he had been borne to it ….
Grissom looked round this unique and elite team his eyes fell on the empty chair; trying to will someone back that would not appear he remembered, how six months before in this very room Nick had told him to go to hell.
Now he was missing and he would give anything to hear that voice or see that CSI three at this table. If ever there was a time when he needed the essential elements that Nick Stokes added to this team. Then this was it. The enthusiasm, drive and humanity that Nick had always given were now deprived from them; it struck deep within them and hampered them as much as the lack of evidence.
His steal gaze looked round his remaining colleague's landing first on Sara who sat expressionless but he seen the fire in her eyes, the seriousness in her gaze and most of all the love in them for a man that should have been sitting directly across from her, right at this minute.
Beside Sara sat Warrick his coolness gone, like the friend that was also gone, staring at him impatiently to hurry up and get this surreal meeting started.
With that his gaze came to Catherine last who carried the heaviest burden the first to arrive at the crime scene and the first to break the news that one of there own was missing, he could only imagine what had gone through her head when she opened that apartment door.
Never had talking to his team been as hard as it was at this moment or more crucial; they were running out of time, running a gauntlet to which they were going to loose. They had now reached the critical twenty four hours and they're was nothing; no lead, no signs and no real clues, just blood…
'I don't belong here' it was the tone more than anything, that gripped her heart, there was a plea in those words as Nick Stokes backed out the room, like Warrick and Grissom she had seen the change at the mention of Dallas as Catherine tried diffuse the situation, for a moment those brown eyes shone gently as though a great burden had been lifted from him.
Yet she knew herself he was not ready to deal or talk, the battle within had already went to far and those words proved that, he took the only alternative route, to escape before Grissom could question him and in all respects she could not blame him…
For Warrick the last two steps into that apartment were the worst for him up until then he could handle it; for until that moment it was not a reality now it was. For a moment he remembered Holly Gribbs just this was in a whole new league, one that he could not even begin to comprehend.
The hand of the women that he had been holding tightly up until know fell from his grasp, the inhuman almost animal like cry from his colleague and friend, shook him to the core and summed up how he felt. He would never forget it, even a little short of nine months later when altogether different cry would give him hope.
However at the current moment he could not see into the future, all he could see was a crime scene he stepped forward there was no going back now. As he heard Grissom behind him trying to calm the inconsolable; his own eye fell on the one person who stood at the far end of the room, she stood at the window emotionless and silent but her eyes gave away all that she felt, it was Catherine.
Ignoring her gaze he tried to get his CSI mind in gear as he looked over the apartment there was no pictures thankfully but it did not make things any easier, he could still recognise it as Nick Stokes apartment.
It was neat well laid out, books, trophies, CD's and computer games. The TV was switched on but he ignored the baseball being played on it, the room felt eerie evil had touched it tainting the ordinary surroundings.
One rucksack lay of just to his left, it had not been touched he was well aware what was in it though, paragliding gear, for that was where Nick had been earlier in the day, the place where he had last been seen alive.
Then his gaze fell on the cracked broken coffee table, with dried blood all over it, the late evening sunlight bathing it in a grotesque fashion. Underneath the broken table lay something that sent a chill through him, for it was something so small yet significant, seen everyday and yet unique to the person that wore it.
Nick's watch the face was cracked, its buckle broken, blood on the strap of it as well but he could see by the illumines dials that it was still going as it lay on its side on the bloodied carpet, completely out of place.
Then there was the carpet, two patches of blood, the watch lay in the smaller of the two among shards of bloodied glass. The other darker larger more gruesome blood stained patch lay between the broken coffee table and the sofa; there was no hiding the amount of blood loss, the light capturing it only magnified it. He turned back to Sara seeing the fear in her eyes it shone in his as well that Nick Stokes was gone and was more than likely to be dead gone.
However Warrick could not think of Nick like that as a victim it did not seem right or fair; that he of all people would end up being there top priority case and missing to go along with it and that they were more than liking to be searching for his body, which could lying in ditch or shallow grave waiting for them to find and identify.
It made him feel sick, that the man and friend he had spoken to only the day before who had seemed larger than live, could be taken from them in such a way. Nick was someone that stood for the better things in life, with his charismatic ways and winning charm, a true people's person and the touchstone of the team in many ways; even if Gill would never give him that credit.
Someone touched his shoulder, tampering his line of thought it was Catherine there eyes met and he found his voice but the words did not ring true:
'We'll find him Catherine'
She nodded but could no longer meet his gaze he looked back at the door, one other figure had appeared it was Brass and he was busy questioning Sara asking the questions he probably already knew the answer to:
'Any other identifying features, anything you think we've missed?'
The question were to herself but along with her Grissom answered, Gill replying no with certainty, with tears in her eyes she looked past Warrick and Catherine to the floor answering yes:
'Silver ring worn on the middle finger of his right hand'
Sara seen Brass nod, the pain in his eyes betrayed the calm voice that had asked the questions, he was only doing his job and she was well aware that Brass had in his own way been just as close to Nick as any of them.
The questions kept coming though that she did not want to hear or answer, each one brought a new level of pain, a pain like nothing she had felt before as Brass and Gill's voices began to sound distant as she continued to look at the blood stained carpet, her thoughts were only thinking of him, she was thinking back to another time, the first time she had laid eyes on this apartment six months before.
She could see Warrick looking carefully over the broken blood streaked coffee table in the fading light, her gaze shifted out the window to the blood red of the horizon on those mountains as the Nevada sun slowly set, her gaze shifted back to the couch as she remembered the figure lying there in the same sort of light six months earlier..
The door opened, the two attempts of knocking had gained no response so she had simply done the only other thing try the handle hoping the door was not locked. It had worked as her gaze now swept what lay in front of her it was a sight that would forever be in her memory…
The sun was starting to set, giving the room a warm glow; she took in the books where she had crime novels Nick had law books as she remembered Catherine's words from earlier in the day about his late father. It was much the same as his previous apartment, just a lot brighter and bigger with a nice view out onto those mountains.
Looking around her she took the open-plan room in; CD's, computer games and the other essentials of a TV and computer were at the far end of the room next to the large window.
Directly in front of her was the sitting area, two chairs and one couch, with a coffee table in front of the couch.
Of to her left she could see a nice modern if not bare kitchen, directly of to her right lay the hall and another two doors, it was in all accounts quite high standard for a CSI and a lot better than her own apartment.
Lying stretched out on the couch oblivious to her and dead to the world; the late evening sun bathing the handsome features was the person that had brought her here, although he did not know that fact.
Nick Stokes lay in a deep sleep, she could see by the dying light the slight even movement of his chest under the same cotton shirt he had worn at work; his features still withdrawn the face ash white in sleep, the brown hair slightly ruffled, one arm lying limply of the edge of the couch barely touching the coffee table and what lay on it.
Her eye went to what was on the table; she could see from here an empty box of sleeping tablets, coming closer but not waking him, she lifted the empty glass and guessed correctly it had had alcohol in it and by the smell of it vodka. Her worried eye came back to the vulnerable form like before she wondered what the hell was going on in that head of his.
Putting the glass down, she turned to the only other thing lying on the table, the light shining of it, something she recognised well, the silver ring that Nick usually wore.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she lifted the ring from its place in the fading light she could just see in the inside of it his name inscrolled on the silver it was at that moment she became aware that the sleeping form was coming to.
The hand that hung limply began to twitch slightly; his eye lids flickered for a moment and then opened fully, the darkness that had been there previously was gone as she looked deep into those soft still brown pools that were now slowly beginning to focus in on her.
The ring dropped from her fingers with the intensity of that gaze, it chimed of the glass, at last coming to a dead stop in the centre of the glass table, startling them both…
Sleep had fallen on him like a blissful escape from a world that had been torturing him; it was a deep dreamless world, where nothing touched him and the burning rage that had swallowed him before finely ceased to exist.
However something had disturbed him, awaking him from that slumber where he would have happily stayed. Sensing someone was watching him he slowly opened his eyes and found himself gazing directly into a dark fiery worried set of eyes.
It was at that moment whatever his colleague had lifted fell, it startled him bringing him fully awake as the echoing noise directly across from him stopped his gaze fell onto the ring and then back on Sara Sidle.
The dark starlight intelligent eyes looked clearly into his, the light that his eyes were still trying to adjusting to, illuminated her lithe body to him. The dark shoulder length mane of hair hung freely down, half covering those gentle features that had always mesmerised him.
They looked at one another a minute more, before he sat up and half regretted doing so as he felt his head spin with that one simple action. Groaning inwardly he put his head back on the cushion; Sara was smiling at him mischievously.
His eye went to the door remembering now that he had not locked it, that he had simply slammed the door shut on his return from that nightmare of a shift. The dark eyes had followed his only one question came to mind as he at last found his voice which sounded groggy even to his ears:
'Did Grissom send you?'
Once more that smile crossed Sara's face as she answered:
'Maybe'
He went to reply then changed his mind as going by the look on that face it was going to be the only answer he was going to get. Her penetrating gaze was still on him though as an awkward silence descended between them; something usually unaccustomed to them but considering all that had been said back at the labs, he was having a hard enough time looking her straight in the eye.
After a moment, she sighed gave him annoyed look and then taking things into her own hands. Lifted the glass on the table and disappeared from his view. The next thing he heard was water being run and his kitchen units being opened and then shut, that noise alone made his head ache; his colleague reappeared with a glass of water, sitting it down directly in front of him finding himself once more under her all too serious worried gaze:
'Might make you feel a little better'
The dark eyes left him with no leeway; he took a sip of the cool water, which did seem to hit the mark. Putting the glass down on the coffee table he lifted the ring putting it back on, the dark eyes gave him a look again but instead of trying to meet her gaze he found solos in the floor but it was not going to last:
'So what did happen in Dallas?'
He had to hand it to her Sara was direct always had been, he ignored the question though trying to change the subject:
'Guess I'm not too popular at the moment'
She rolled her eyes as he took another sip of the water he was putting of the inevitable and this woman knew that:
'Understatement' and Sara glared at him before hitting him with her next question:
'Were you close to your father' this time there gaze met, there was a look of concern on Sara's face, so she did know and he had no doubt who would have told her. He had left Catherine with no option but tell them and Sara was asking the questions that in truth he was having a hard enough time answering for himself…
Those brown eyes flicked a glare at her, the words snapped out:
'You would not understand Sara'
She felt like whacking him one were it not for the look in those brown eyes and that he sometimes did let his stubborn nature get the better of him, which it was doing right at this minute . However she was not going to let this man of the hook that easy:
'Nick answer the god dam question'
The tone was crueller than she really meant it to be but she seen she had shaken him, his altogether serious gaze loosing its edge under her words, those brown eyes darted of her for a moment but she was well aware that she had him cornered. She waited keeping her gaze firmly on that lean form across from her.
The dark eyes glared at him alight with that fire, Sara was mad at him and sooner or later he was going to need to answer her, in the end in a matter of fact tone that did not suit him he replied no.
Sara arched her eyebrow at him not buying what he had just said. There gaze met again and the look she gave him, melted the ice which surrounded his heart as he realised one way or the other. Sara was going to force him to talk about a past that he had been forever running away from, she tried again using a different tact:
'So why did the Wilkinson case get to you so much?'
It was the final push; the brown eyes softened, the pools becoming shear innocence and she seen that those words had at last broken the barriers to which her colleague had surrounded himself:
'Hate does things to you Sara, bad things like what that kid did slitting his father's throat. I thought I felt that same way about my own father, I learned to late I did not.'
Gathering his emotions he let it hang at that trying to figure out the best way to tell her the rest:
The words came slowly at first of the father he had looked up to since he was knee high; who had made it his life and his children's to uphold the law and the justice system it was what had made Tom Stokes one of the best district attorneys in the state; it was in the blood he somehow managed a half grin at this point, remembering the grandfather that he had been named after.
How each of his siblings, had in one way or the other followed there parents, his only other brother ten years older than him, had followed directly into his fathers footsteps. He hesitated for a moment not mentioning that Ryan Stokes was in everyway the epitaph of his father and that they were as different as night and day, as far apart as any two brothers could be.
What he did tell his colleague though, was that his family was close and he was proud of his family name which was true, his parents had worked hard all there life to provide for them and that they had indeed loved all there children, to which he had been the last untimely surprise, Sara smiled at him at the mention of that but he ignored the look.
The brown warm eyes were now distant to her away in another time and another place, the voice audible but faint as he started to reminisce about his family that he clearly loved. Even with its complexities she could see that he had enjoyed the Texas childhood he had had as the youngest of seven.
Just something had happened somewhere down the line as she seen his features darken, the brown eyes hitting an intensity of darkness that she had never seen before, there was a haunted look in them:
'Then when I was nine Sara there was this last minute baby sitter…she …I'
It was like when he had told Catherine words failed him, as he stammered through that
Memory; that he could not erase but he could see by the shock look in Sara's gaze she had read between the lines:
'She was meant to be someone I could trust'
Was all he could say to complete his statement as a cold tear run down his cheek, his voice now ragged:
'I was never the same kid again the physical scars went but the emotional ones stayed and she got away with it in the end. There was no justice and I blamed the only person I could at the time. My father and the fact he never realised how much damage she done.'
He stopped unable to continue; finding refuge in the serenity of those dark eyes that were looking directly into his; the look touched his soul drawing strength from it he continued:
'It drove a wedge between us Sara, one that only got worse with the years'
The handsome features were etched in pain; the eyes brown wells of despair of pain that had never gone away even with all the years. She felt like hugging him but was well aware at the current moment that was not what he was looking for.
That Nick did not want to be seen as a victim of some long ago crime that had by all accounts changed his life in more ways than one, she done the only thing that came to mind.
In one sure movement she moved to sit beside him, taking that cold strong gentle hand in hers. There gaze met the look in those brown eyes went straight to her heart but no words were spoken between them, as the hand in hers responded tightening its grip of her smaller one.
That simple gesture of the touch of that warm hand onto his sent a tremor through him. The touch calming the feelings that wanted to overcome him, finding himself gripping that small hand all the tighter as though it were a life line:
'You know Sara; I could not forgive him but I still wanted his respect'
He shrugged his shoulders in frustration, at the paradox that had followed him every step of the way.
His brown eyes became distant to her again the voice barely audible now as his gaze left hers completely after that last statement. As the Nick Stokes that sat before her now relived his youth:
'I was a wild card Sara, a wild card hiding under a dependable image, covering the pain that drove all my decisions, which was all linked back to that one event. It did not help either that by the time I left college I had pretty much made a name for myself as a ladies man and both my parents disapproved of that, I was taking a different path from all my other siblings and that pleased neither of them either'
Sara's voice cut in dragging him back from the memories:
'So you were the black sheep of the Stokes family Nick?'
Sara was smiling at him he did not return it though:
'Yea you could put it that way'
And she realised that as the features darkened to a scowl that comment had been the wrong thing to say the brown eyes gave her a glare again, as Nick continued dismissing her comment completely:
'My choice in career was the final blow; my father could not handle me being a cop. Although for me it offered everything or at least I thought it did'
There gaze met the dark intensity of those eyes overpowered him as though Sara could see right through him, right into his very heart and he had to steal himself from that gaze:
'In the end though it was the final straw for both of us, the more he disapproved of my career and the danger I put myself in; the more determined I became, my mother became the go between and everybody else just looked on.'
He sighed looking at the hand linked in his:
'Just Tom Stokes was right in the end; my luck ran out and was it not for my colleague at the time I would not be here at all. I was way to flighty a cop and that did just about cost my life.'
He looked at Sara again she was not judging him though she sent him a smile instead:
'So what cop do we owe the thanks to Nick?'
It was a diversion but one he did not mind telling:
'Max Calder and you would like him a lot Sara, cool kind of guy like Warrick in many respects.'
Sara nodded at him satisfied with his answer giving him a look to continue with whatever else he was going to say, he stifled a grin at her and continued:
'I relented to both my parents wishes after that although it was more of a compromise in the end I became a CSI.'
That smile crossed Sara's face again her tone upbeat:
'Right choice Stokes'
The hand in his added a little pressure but he ignored her gaze:
'My father knew me better than I knew myself at the time that I had never been cut out for a cop. I could not handle the fact he had been right about me plus I was still blaming him for something that happened a lifetime ago. I hated him for that and we barely spoke from then on Sara'
With that comment his thoughts drifted back to that time with regret, when whatever he felt for his father had simply turned to hate the wedge between them coming to much as he turned into an all to defiant son. The last bonds between them breaking as he drifted away from Tom Stokes and the rest of his close nit family.
Turning instead to his work putting everything into being a CSI and finding along with all the other reasons he had told Grissom, that the work gave him the justice that some part of him had always sought.
Along with that compared to the rest of his settled siblings, some part of him wanted away from the Texas heartlands where he and generations before him had grown up and settled with that his gaze fell again on Sara's starlight gaze:
'I got the chance to transfer here to Sin City of all places; I jumped at the chance to prove myself and get away from my roots to have my own life, without having everything that was attached to my family name.
Just I'll never forget the look of disappointment on my father's face Sara the day I left to come here. I let him down in everyway possible and that was the final insult to him, although even then I was still looking for his respect, something I would never get.'
He gave those dark eyes a look she returned the same one as though reading his mind, not commenting on what he had just said:
'You know the hardest part Sara; my last words to him were ill spoken. He phoned just after I became a CSI three told me he was proud, for me it was all too little to late.'
Looking at Sara realizing it was then that Sara had first walked into his life, just after his 100th case and his first run in with Kristy Hopkins and that phone call where he had said all the wrong things to a voice that he would never hear again, a frown came across his features:
'I did not realise I might have actually gained some of the respect I was looking for, I told my own father to go to hell that I did not care what he thought, I could not blame him for not phoning me after that one Sara.'
Another thought struck him now, he remembered his words back at the labs he had told Gill the exact same thing to go to hell and whether he liked it or not it was for the same reason. He wanted Grissom's respect in the same way he had looked for his fathers, there was an irony in that and his thought turned back to his father.
The Texan accent was becoming clearer now; the emotion even more so as those brown eyes seemed to no longer see her as Nick leapt to the present:
'The phone call came when I was getting this place ready'
The dark eyes sparkled at him as his voice cracked at the end of the statement:
'Nice apartment Nick'
She was trying to lighten him up but he ploughed on before his voice gave out:
'I only told Catherine out of necessity I was on annual leave anyway and all I felt was relief Sara to begin with and that feeling stayed with me in Dallas although my hate for him died at that point I just was not aware of it.'
There was a moment's hesitation before his next words:
'The only other thought that struck me then was that I no longer belonged there in Dallas, where I grew up why it hit me then when I stood over my father's grave I've no idea but it was all I felt at the time.'
The voice that had told her so much up until now stopped completely his hand withdrew from hers as Nick Stokes looked her direct in the eye, there was a look of loneliness and sadness in them and she was well aware he had said the same words back at the labs of not belonging the words that had brought her here more to the point.
'People end up dead because of me and had I not come to Las Vegas they would be alive today. Might have been better all round had I just stayed in Dallas Sara'
The brown eyes were of her now looking at the floor, where long shadows of the setting sun now left what little light there was. The strong features were hidden from her the head bowed; his current state was a million miles from the persona that usually surrounded him.
Yet she was well aware where those dark thoughts had arisen from Kristy Hopkins the hooker that had been murdered after that one night stand, had left a dent one that would never be repaired and she had seen his pain then, although he had tried his best to hide how much the impact of that hookers death had on him.
Grissom said he had brought it on himself maybe so but it was obvious he had cared for her deeply, enough to give her a funeral and the fact that he would have let Ecklie put him in jail for it. The only other thought on that line was that Kristy had by all accounts used him taking advantage of that innocence and with her death shattered it.
Then there was Nigel Crane that stalker and she was well aware how close a call that had been. Far too close and once more she had seen him struggle with emotions, fighting back hiding in his humour covering the pain and she was well aware they both had done irreparable damage to an already haunted soul and he blamed himself on all counts.
Without thinking her hand reached out for that square jaw, touching the stubble there. Her hand forcing the head round to face her gaze, the brown eyes were desolate to her and words did not seem enough to reach what lay there in that look:
'You're way too hard on yourself Nick Stokes do you not know that?'
The look she received was a blank one; his head shifted her hand dropped, as Nick changed the subject tensing up next to her his voice steady but angry:
'God I messed up Sara'
Nick's gaze no longer on her looking straight ahead the tone becoming bitter:
'I came back here acting as though nothing had happened. That I had had my week's vacation as normal and then Gill hands me the Wilkinson case, from the moment I laid eyes on that dead strangers body all I could see was my dead fathers care worn features and it shook me to the core, the grief hit me then.'
They shared a glance he lost himself in those dark eyes, not wanting to continue but forcing himself to:
'It was the kid Sara that was what really got to me though the hate in him, I seen myself there and that scared me. Went out my way to prove his innocence trying to wash my hands of my own guilt for I done just the same in my own way and that guilt turned to rage. Rage that burned into me hatred was what followed and I took it out on everyone and I guess you know the rest.'
They looked at each another for a moment not saying anything; those dark eyes were looking through him again:
'You had us all worried Nick'
He did not say anything to that ignoring Sara's gaze yet again, the tone now harsh:
'It hit me then all my father had been doing all along was protecting me, keeping an eye on me, trying to make up for that one time when he had not been there for me and look at what I gave him in return nothing.
You know Sara he died at his desk in his study of a heart attack, doing the work he had done all his life defending someone and his own son could not even speak to him. We were never close but I never hated him in the way I thought I did he was a good father and I did not see that till it was too late.'
There was nothing left to say, nothing that he had not told this independent woman that had come to him when he had least expected it. He sat in silence reflecting on his father and on the tangled mess that his life had become…
The last light stretched across the room, making the handsome features of the man that sat next to her seem far younger than his years, for a moment she had let that sombre silence descend letting him grieve.
Then her hand reached out first to the strands of short thick brown hair, her fingers putting back in place the few strands that lay out of place smoothing the hair down liking the feel of it through her fingers, she smiled at him looking deep into that innocent gaze.
His gaze stayed on her as her hand moved tracing the muscle of his arm to that strong hand of his lifting it she put her own hand that had been discarded earlier back in his and gave a gentle squeeze:
'Feel any better know you got all that out your system there partner?'
She smiled at him again the brown eyes sent her a glance:
'Are you sweet talking me Sara?' the tone soft she played along:
'Yea Nick I might just be'
She grinned at him and for the first time she seen the hint of that smile of his that had been away far too long:
'There I almost got you to smile there Stokes'
The brown eyes flashed at her embers of pain showing clearly in them as that smile of his finely came to the fore:
'Don't tease me'
The tone at last light enough to give her a chance to tell him something more as her own features became serious:
'Nick don't think for one moment that your father died not knowing how you really felt, you were his son and no matter what was said between you he would know so stop beating yourself up over that one ok?'
They shared a glance again he did not say anything the smile disappearing as quickly as it had come the brown eyes reflecting of her own. She had to hand it to him he was completely unaware of how much good lay within him and how much the Nicky Stokes that sat beside her now had overcome to be where he was today and she voiced it:
'Your strong Nick way stronger than you let any of us believe and I always thought there was more to you than you ever let on, wild card or not' she sent him a wicked smile at that:
'Nick you've been through a lot but you always fought back even with what happened to you in your childhood and I admire you for that.'
Sara's voice trailed of and there was something in the tone as though she were delving into her own past as she said those words of comfort to him.
The expression on Sara's features was now blank as he tried to figure out what was going on behind there, the dark eyes now full of that fire and thought all he wanted to do was reach out and touch those features of hers.
He was well aware that Sara did not look on him in that light. That he was seen only as her friend. That Grissom was the one that Sara turned to. Not letting that thought cloud him he asked the only thing he could:
'You ok Sara?'
There was no answer at first then the dark eyes flared as she gave him that full smile of hers and he felt his heart miss a beat as it always did when she gave him that look…
Her own thought turned inwards as she said those words to this man as the bad memories came spilling back to her of that bay not far from San Francisco and an all together different childhood compared to her colleagues. The only child, always having to fend for herself; a loner in some way's and always remained such more through choice than anything else.
Though she had been smart always a step in front of the game her early childhood and school years had never been happy ones; partly due to her eccentric parents and the fact nothing seemed to ever be on a big enough stage to suit her. Remaining in those years the odd one out in every way but it had never bothered her, always giving as good as she got.
It had not been until Harvard that her life finely got some sort of perspective and something to match up to her ideals, with that it had also brought some of the best years of her live. Although she wondered what one Nick Stokes would have made of her then, maybe overlooked her or maybe the other way round.
That she would have taken him for being what she had come to expect from those types that had the looks, the brawn but little else in the inside, just it was now patiently clear Nick was different, way different and had a lot more than any of those Harvard guys that she had dated during that time.
Once more her thoughts changed going further back again to the one thing that had impacted her life from the start violence it was something she had grown up with and it had come from one source the person she was meant to trust most in the world her own father. Who had a strange way of showing his love by lashing out at her and her mother whenever it suited him. She could not remember the first time he had hit her but she remembered crying after wards and then singing trying to forgive him for it.
That feeling had stayed with her for the father that she had both loved and hated in equal measure and relationships had always been hard for that same reason, violence was to be expected somehow. She hid in her work only trusting a close few like Gill, she did not socialise much and the fact it all went back to that time in someway had not escaped her.
'You ok Sara?'
The concerned voice bumped her back into the present as the brown eyes gave her a burning look wondering what she had been thinking, she smiled back at him:
'I'm fine Nick but are you going to be'
She arched her eyebrow at him this time receiving a smile as there gaze met again the brown eyes now there normal soft brown; as she seen his concern directed at her, no longer thinking about his own pain as his hand released from hers again. Then completely surprising her Nick reached out wrapping his arms round her in a bear hug.
Perplexed for a moment she took in his closeness enjoying the feel of that muscular form so close to hers and with that her own arms wrapped around his neck feeling his tense shoulder muscles relax under her touch.
Clinging to him she burrowed deeper into his shoulder blade, close enough now to hear the constant sure rhythm of his heart under the slightly crumpled shirt. That like her own was beating a little too fast something registered within her and hearing that heartbeat so close made the feeling grow all the stronger…
… Something stirred deep within, for the first time although it had always been there; however it was right at this instant it sank into her heart what that was, she felt safe lying there in his arms, protected even and something more and it belonged only to Nick.
To go along with that charm, that smile and that heart of his and any time she had gave herself long enough to gaze deep into those intense soft brown eyes all that shone there was his soul, which could do her no wrong for what came lay there was loyalty, humanity and compassion that were all so much part of him and always had been..
That in itself almost threatened to overwhelm her for there was love along with that, a love that was there in there friendship a love that she had been blind to and she realised that deep down some part of her had always wanted what was happening now, wanting that love to become more and with that the man whose arms she lay in spoke…
'I'll survive Sara and I'm glad you came even though I wish it had been under better circumstances after what I said back at the labs'
There was nothing else said but it was enough his tone gentle his heartbeat was now slow and without needing to look into those eyes she was aware that the man who she still had her arms carefully wrapped around was calm, her reply was equally gentle:
'Hey that's what friends are for Nick'
Realizing as she spoke those words that the man that she had always taken as a friend had in some way's always meant more and that the friendship was no longer enough to satisfy this feeling. That was flooding through her as she grinned at the handsome features and that intense gaze as she pulled out the cuddle, giving the shirt a meaningful glare as she did so:
'You really need to change that shirt Nick'
Giving him a sly smile her hand reached out for his all too square jaw:
'A shave would not go to bad either' the brown eyes sent her a hurt gaze:
'Just as long as you don't mention lemons'
Digging him in the ribs at that comment at what had remained an in joke between them ever since the zipper bag case, his athletic form rose from the couch sending her that smile:
'Alright Sidle I get the hint I'll go shower and shave'
Nick sent her a glance the brown eyes shining:
'Want to join me?'
The tone playful she smiled at that serious look. The Nick Stokes she knew fine and well was back and although she could still see in the eyes that time was going to be the biggest healer and that he was going to have a lot to face at the labs the old fight was back in those brown soft eyes she played along not giving away what was going on in her heart although despite herself she felt herself blush under that gaze:
'Who's teasing who here, get out of my sight Stokes'
He grinned at her and done just that, as Nick moved away going to his left to the doors that she had seen when she had come in.
For a moment she sat there contemplating, then her gaze drifted to the window and the mountains away in the distance, the view itself drew her to the window. The room was in a half light as she looked out at that stunning backdrop of the city lights and then out beyond them to the first star in the evening sky. Her gaze followed from there to those mountains and the horizon where the sky was an aurora of colour; going from dark blue to purple and then to a red glow from where the sun had already set.
A smile came to her face as her conscious thoughts ran with her unconscious ones, she felt in her heart that this man would love her with all his heart and soul and a little more;
That there had always been something about him, ladies man or not, she was well aware that what had happened in his childhood had as much to do with that revolving door reputation he had with women as anything else.
Just it was what lay under that which made him all the more unique for she seen the man that Nick so wanted to be and already was that part of her had always loved the one that had cried out in pain back at the labs and had brought her here and along with those handsome all American good looks there was a heart that would never fail and that had always loved her.
Something pulled at her as she thought of that and the old habit kicked in she started to sing slowly at first just enjoying the moment; eventually one old song so old yet precious to her sprang into her head it echoed round the room as she stood waiting there in the last light waiting on the man that had touched her heart and soul and would later touch it in so many other ways to return….
Gill Grissom stood where the victim had stood, a victim who like all victims had been an innocent. An innocent about to hit the prime years of his life that fact had not escaped him; as he stood now at the door looking out onto the empty hall.
His gaze fell to the carpet at his foot, blood lay spattered here and out with what lay behind him this was the only other clue to what had happened plus going by all that lay before him now they were by all accounts searching for a body, the victim dead and this was where it had all began…
The first blow had been given here; experience and science were telling him things as he looked at the blood at his foot. First that the victim had known the attacker, for the weapon had been no gun.
The weapon would have more than likely have been something sharp or claw like as he looked at the spray of blood, that the victim who stood where he stood now would have had little chance.
That blow would more than likely have been to the frontal lobe a direct blow to the side of the head; enough to cause damage, enough to concuss, enough to cause pain and enough to render the victim powerless.
With that he touched his forehead; he had a migraine which was in its self a bad omen. He turned around but did not look directly ahead, at the other people that were also in this room, who were investigating the scene before him.
Instead his gaze fell on the rucksack that lay of to his left and then to the kitchen counter and what lay on it, it was all so normal. For there lay something familiar to his eyes a fawn jerkin jacket was there, beside it sat a mobile phone they lay where the victim had left them. He had checked both, the mobile phone had been switched off and in the jacket he found what he had expected a wallet.
Beside them sat the leaflets about the very thing the victim had been doing on this fatal day that had brought Catherine Willows for what should have been an insignificant meeting between friends that had ended up being anything but. The leaflets for her daughter Lindsey Willow's about paragliding for a school project, if he wanted any further clues to the heart of victim that told him more than enough…
The TV had been switched on normality again but it also told him as he looked again at that jacket that the attack on the victim had happened not long after his arrival back from where he had been that morning. This meant it had happened long before Catherine had arrived at this scene but he was well aware that would not help how the red head felt.
From all that lay before him now on the face it this was a hit, a well timed, well executed precise hit and what little he was sending Greg Sanders way would only give clues to the fate of the victim not the suspect, if there was a suspect to be had, for there was no clear motive. The place was clean and if he did not know any better.
It was as though who ever were responsible for this had been well aware that it would be him, Gill Grissom that would be the one called to investigate for there were no fingerprints, no fibres, no hairs and no witnesses nothing for him to go on, no evidence and for once science was not enough to give him the answers to questions that were only beginning to form in his head…
Once more he looked at the blood that now lay to his right foot and then to that all to horrifying image in front of him, he estimated the distance. The victim had been thrown hard from where he stood now. He shut his eyes for a moment thinking of that phone call he had personally made to the victims family in Dallas, it had been his first phone call it would not be his last…
He opened his eyes now looking at the people around him, who cast long dark shadows in this now crime scene he was looking at one in particular the brunette who stood apart, who stood at the window her back to him, his colleague and the only one of them to see the victim on this day and like Catherine was blaming herself for not being here for him.
For Sara was the only one of them to see Nick Stokes in this very room on this darkest of days, with that his gaze moved to what lay on the carpet in the dried blood, that one thing made it all the more real and all the more sinister.
He stepped forward and came to a stop beside the partly shattered coffee table he did not move from there. As something unfamiliar overcame him; what up until now he had managed to shut out but no longer could, feelings unaccustomed to him and the fact this was no ordinary victim, he knew this person, this innocent and for the first time in his life he felt powerless….
Nicky Stokes stood where Gill Grissom would one day stand, by the coffee table his gaze on the brunette that stood looking out the window her back to him looking out at Las Vegas which was shining in all its glory in the early evening; with the mountains in the distance, he could also see the red glow of the horizon the last light of it, still filled this room.
However his gaze was firmly set on Sara who stood looking out at that view; her trim figure illuminated in that light, made even more visible by the white top and jeans showing her every curve and even as she stood now, the stance showed the spirit that was so much part of her.
Just right at this moment he was rooted to the spot, his heart ached as it always did when she sang and the song she was singing now was making it ache all the more, it was a complete departure from anything he had heard Sara sing before but it was a song so familiar a timeless song, yet it had never sounded so sweet as it did now as her gentle voice echoed round the room:
'This land is your land,
This land is my land'
Her voice rose and his heart swelled as Sara continued, remembering the one time he had told her about that singing voice of hers, it had been the closest he had ever got to telling Sara the truth:
'From California
To the New York Island,
From the redwood forest,
To the Gulf stream waters,
This land was made for you and me'
He closed his eyes, there had always been something about Sara a familiarity even, something that simply drew him; in much the same way that he was drawn to the vast cosmos of stars in the evening sky, it had been there that feeling when they had first met when Sara had called him Nicholas and he insisted that she just call him Nick. She had flirted with him then, as Grissom stood beside him on that case where he missed the roof dust.
Although even then he noticed the closeness that Gill Grissom shared with Sara Sidle before he had stepped out from the crowd to be introduced to the new CSI that had come San Francisco; it annoyed him even then, for it was a relationship he could not fathom and with time the person he had truly come to feel sorry for was Catherine.
His thoughts turned again to Sara a brunette and he had always had something for brunette's just Sara was altogether different, in every way possible it was not just in her looks; there was something in those dark intelligent eyes that had always made his heart beat a little faster…
The sometimes outspoken comments that could be hurtled from out of no where at you, he liked that flare about her combined with that she had an energy and curiosity that came through in everything she did, most notably her work, where like Grissom she seemed to hide in it for some reason. Not that he had not told her often enough about that one. That she needed to get out more deserved to get out more all he would get was that smile of hers in return.
Yet there was more and it made his heart ache for Sara was fragile he had noted it time and again and whether that fragility had arisen was from her past that he suspected had something to do with it although not all to do with it. It was there and it was part of Sara as much as that spirit and fire of hers that were so defining.
It was that which drew him to her; that in someway it was as though Sara might fall apart in someway if she ever let up or let anyone get to close and all that some part of him had always wanted was simply to take Sara into his arms and protect her from this cruel world and all that went with it.
Added to that Sara was strong in a way that he never could be and he liked the way when they were working together, she would occasionally touch his shoulder or arm, there was something in that contact that felt good, as though it were something more….
However it was when they flirted which was practically all the time; like two love sick teenagers that could not get enough of each other, that he felt it most a love like nothing he had experienced before lay there and had always been there and he was powerless against it.
Just Sara did not see him in that way but there was something a chemistry that only belonged when with her and it burned into him the continues flirting made it all the harder. Plus in someway he felt Sara always kept him at a safe distance at arms length, he respected that but could not understand her reasons.
As though she were frightened from him in someway although he had done no wrong it hurt more than anything. More than it should have if it were a mere friendship. Sara had become a constant to him one that he could no longer live without, yet she remained forever out his grasp, like those stars above….
That she already belonged to another in some fashion and he could not compete with that but it did not change the way he felt. For he was falling in a way that had never happened before, it all began and ended with Sara, he was bound to her in every way possible….
Sara could take all of him; could break his heart into a million pieces for all he cared for what he felt for her was beyond words, beyond anything he had felt for the countless number he had dated and he was aware that whatever it was that lay between them if given the chance would last a live time for Sara brought out the best in him always had, a spirit that touched his soul and made him yearn for her all the more…
There was nothing else to find; nothing else to loose, nothing in the world would change his mind over how he felt for this woman and he would be forever hanging by a moment with Sara….
His thoughts drifted of at that opening his eyes as those last few verses echoed round the room, he drew forward at last to come and stand beside Sara by the window, looking out over the sprawling city below, his gaze fell on those dark eyes but nothing was said as they just stood there for a moment, not saying anything.
She looked at his profile as Nick came up to stand beside her the handsome features etched in the evening light, the gray shirt changed to a dark blue that set of those brown soft eyes, the top two buttons undone showed his tanned muscular chest, she sent him a smile, he sent one back which turned into a lop-sided grin, she could see he was about to speak but she beat him to it:
'Trying to impress me Nicky?'
The brown eyes gave her a look his gaze all too serious to go with it, it was also the first time she had called him that and by the expression on his face he had not missed that fact either his soft rich Texan accent filled the room:
'No but you did impress me with your singing Sara'
Grinning but not saying anything more Nick turned to face her, the last light was fading fast as a braid of her hair came forward…
His hand reached out for that wisp of hair that had fallen forward onto Sara's face; his fingers gently pushed it back into place behind her ear; his hand stayed where it was, the contact itself sent a surge through him as he caressed her cheek, for a moment longer than he should have, as those dark eyes sent him a look one that he could not quite fathom that had not been there before but it swept him away…
The touch gentle it was a moment of shear intimacy one she would never forget or regret as his finger traced the line of her cheek bone, her pulse raced as she felt Nick withdrawing and with that her own hand came up stopping his from falling, they shared a look.
She smiled at him as slowly the realization crossed into those handsome features and that all too intense gaze where the brown intense pools, revealed there depths and all that shone that shone there was love in its purest form, as her own gaze got lost there…
Nothing was said as they continued to gaze into each others eyes and then Nick drew her into his arms, in one gentle movement, it felt natural and intense. His warm touch as his hands went round her slim waist, her heart lurched at the closeness of that body so near hers as those brown eyes sent a gaze so intense it almost hurt…
Then ever so gently, almost surprising her Nick leaned in and kissed her, a kiss that held passion like no other, it engulfed her as she melted into it, her own hand coming up to the buttons of his shirt, first slowly and then quickly she undone the buttons to reveal that muscular tanned chest below…
Her fingers ran slowly over that chest liking the feel of that slightly rough skin, as the hands which were wrapped round her waist slowly reached below her top, his warm touch flooding through her; as his fingers ran up her back playing for a moment with her bra straps then for a second coming to rest on the bra clip before returning back down to her waist; bringing her own body closer to his at that moment, they found a new intimacy one that was unstoppable.
Then unexplainably Nick drew away from her, the instinct that had taken over stopped as the kiss ended and his all too serious gaze fell back on her:
'What is it between you and Gil?'
The tone was deadly serious as she lay there protectively in his arms; the brown eyes searched her as she smiled at the boyish look that was across those all too handsome features:
'Not what you were thinking Nick it's not this'
She smiled at him her tone gently emphasizing the point.
There gaze met and at that she ran her fingers through that soft short hair playing with it; then along his jaw line, and then lastly to his bare chest which rippled ever so slightly under her touch, feeling his sure strong heartbeat under the palm of her hand which lay for a moment on his bare chest, then her hand moved again tracing that physic as she waited…
Taking full advantage of the moment as Nick considered her statement as she just lay there in his arms in a way she had never done before, then those brown eyes reflected of her own again a smile coming across his features.
The signal given she looked once into those soft brown eyes and kissed him full on the lips; it was even more intense than the first as Nick responded, bringing her closer than before; the closeness and passion of that kiss flooded through every atom of her body…
How long it lasted she was not sure but tenderly they withdrew from each other, as the hand that was round her waist came up and linked with hers as ever so gently Nick disengaged himself completely from her the withdrawal itself left yearning as they stood in the semi darkness.
Neither looking out to see the last light of day faded from the horizon leaving the land and mountains reflecting only moonlight, as day finely turned completely over to night…
For a moment they just stood there hand in hand, the gaze in those dark eyes sent him to the stars; the love there was beyond measure as slowly he led Sara away from the window past the coffee table, neither questioning what was coming next as he opened the door for her into the other room letting Sara walk in before him…
Once more he wrapped his arms round her slender form drawing Sara close into him before Sara could turn embracing her as he did so, his fingers glided over the shoulder length brunette hair shifting it back ever so gently he kissed the nape of her neck, the body next to his trembled as he did so, Sara coming out the embrace turned at last to face him...
In that moment they found each other, instinct taking over completely as the love between them personified itself to become something more…
Once more they kissed long deep and hard as Nick nudged her closer to the bed, discarding what clothing there was they took each other in and then Nick took her into his arms kissing again, lightly she rolled her weight onto him, feeling the leanness and hardness of that body against hers as Nick drew in a sharp breath, once more feeling that slightly rough skin so different from as her fingers traced his back; her own body responded to his giving in to the pleasure coursing through her…
As Nick now kissed her neck, shoulder blade and then lower still; a low moan exhaled from her trembling again at the tenderness of his touch upon her body. It was like no other. Love and affection that she had seen directed else where before was now solely directed at her, the intensity of that in itself was overpowering the love overwhelming as those brown eyes looked once more into hers…
As his hands caressed her every curve; sending gentle tremors through her body, finding an altogether new intimacy between them that was unstoppable as they became one flesh…
The sleeping form next to his moved slightly the weight easy on him as Sara lay close. That long arm gracefully stretched across his chest even in sleep; her head lay at his shoulder the brunette hair spreading across the pillow, the creamy skin illuminated in the light, the scent of her and those dark eyes that would forever draw him now lay closed to him in sleep.
Sara even in sleep mesmerized him; and the feeling of that heart beat so close to his was beyond anything; he would never tire of Sara in anyway sighing contentedly his gaze shifted past Sara to the clock realizing with some clarity that this sweet surrender that he had found himself in was not going to last much longer and that for the second night running he was going to be late for his work…
Gill Grissom looked at the clock – impatiently.
There was still no sign of Nick. Warrick and Catherine sat silently also waiting and although there was no Sara, he was well aware she could take care of herself.
Nick on the other hand had walked out on them. Plus no matter what had been said, he was aware that Nick Stokes was no quitter his gaze fell back on the clock, he was counting on that fact, expecting the CSI to be back tonight.
His gaze met Catherine's. Sara no longer hung between them with the question that Nick had asked Sara which had also been directed at him; he had somehow expected to come from Catherine long before this.
Instead it had come from Nick. Who turned to Catherine in much the same way Sara turned to him. They were two sides of the same coin and they depended on each other as day relied on night …
Making it a deeper irony that although Nick had been right in his observations that there was something between himself and Sara. The CSI had still none the less wrong in his assumptions and it had been at that point. When he had reached boiling point with the CSI three who had went way over the line that Catherine had intervened mentioning Dallas shielding Nick from his anger and completely changing perspectives hitting the CSI three hard as she did so.
Nick in the end taking the only other alternative route left walking out on them, leaving them still reeling and Catherine the person Nick confided in to fill them in on what the hell was wrong with the person seen most often as the level headed peacekeeper of the team.
He had listened only in silence as Catherine informed them of what had happened during that time off which had not panned out in the way the CSI three had intended, with his father's death which had been in many ways the final blow to a CSI that had been pushed to the limit emotionally.
The hooker that had pulled the wool over his eyes for starters had left the sensitive CSI withdrawn and subdued, with Ecklie who had a field day on that case baring a further grudge against Nick. Kristy Hopkins in the end not only damaging his career but emotionally scaring him along with it; though Nick had given no clues he suspected the woman had been less after that.
Then there was Nigel Crane and though he had not taken his live had done the next best thing with there being a shadow across the CSI three ever since that, one that they had all seen and worried over the CSI three eventually picking up on that fact.
With Nick like Sara burying himself in his work to much so and it had only been recently when Nick had been telling them of his new apartment. That the shadow which had hung over him had finely receded and it was apparent that he had been looking forward to the time off that had been long overdue.
Where he had then ended up returning to Dallas and though he should have been made aware of what had happened Nick had only informed Catherine someone he trusted wanting to deal with it in his own way, not wanting it to go any further which he guessed was in someway linked back to those previous events when everyone had been well aware what had he had been going through and Nick was not one for pity…
Just as his boss he had missed the signs that something was wrong on the CSI three's return; when Nick had walked in late for that first shift, hardly speaking to any of them bar Catherine and when he had asked about that time off, Nick had even then given him that look which by the end of the shift he would get ten fold.
Which in the end brought him to that case; where they had all watched with growing unease the change in the CSI three and although he had seen colleagues burn up time and again over cases, Nick had taken it to an all new level in terms of will and determination…
Even when the evidence had been all out against him and although he should have taken Nick of that case that the CSI three was getting way to close in the end his own judgment told him not to, that it would be the wrong thing to do no matter how wound up Nick had been, insulting him would have been worse when it was apparent the CSI three was aware of what he was doing and that he now knew in his eyes anyway that Nick had been in some sort of denial over his father's death.
Instead he had went for the direct approach forcing the issue; trying to get the CSI three to see sense it had only further angered Nick pushing him too far, with there being no reasoning with him and it had been then that all hell had broke loose.
The CSI quite literally falling apart on them, Nick then doing the only other thing possible walking out and he could not do a dam thing about it, that Nick would have went anyway, unwilling to talk and Gill was well aware that Nick would still feel the same way now on that one. However Nick had left and livid though he had been at him it was something he could not let happen again…
Gill looked at the clock again it was quarter after ten and if Nick was to appear it would be now or not at all. As if running in line with his thoughts, his two missing colleagues appeared both Catherine and Warrick were now shifting him a look of relief.
Sara with Nick; and though he had specifically told them to leave things be, to let Nick calm down that he would be back tonight without fail, it appeared as though Sara had thought otherwise even after all that had been said and for some reason it neither surprised nor annoyed him that she had done so.
With that he looked over to the serious set features of Nick Stokes the demeanor that had surrounded him before was thankfully broken, the brown eyes no longer dark the hatred gone from them as they now looked each other in the eye.
Sara still standing beside Nick quickly departed from her colleague leaving Nick to face him and had he been looking a little closer at the body language then he would have seen for himself there was something more between them; something that he would find out about as much by shear accident than anything else as his gaze fell back on Nick his main concern at the current moment:
'Nick my office now and don't be late again' his tone firm but casual.
Nick's gaze fell on him again not altogether sure how to take what he had just said; turning now to Catherine who was sending him a look to go easy on the CSI three, missing as he did so the younger man's features pale next to him as he spoke formally:
'Catherine you take Sara and Warrick on that kidnapping case'
All four of his colleagues had got the message Nick staying put, Catherine nodding to Sara and Warrick that it was business as usual as they filed out leaving them in silence.
They glared at each other for a moment before starting to walk, the younger man keeping a pace behind him only looking downwards as they at last reached the office.
Nick yet to speak for once not commenting on all the things that bombarded this office something that usually did merit a comment from him as the CSI three lifted his head to meet his gaze still nothing was said the silence increasing in magnitude as his own words drifted across to the CSI three:
'Nick'
The brown eyes stayed on him:
'Grissom'
The tone was flat and polite as they leveled up Nick still managing to match his gaze:
'There is a lot we need to sort out Nick' his own tone measured watching the response of the younger man, who nodded in answer to him:
'I also have a case that needs investigating are you up for it?'
The CSI three sent him a puzzled gaze for a moment expecting something further to be said, Nick shrugging his shoulders in response deciding not to say anything:
'Well are you?'
His own tone darkening a look of fear crossed the CSI three features realizing that he had better start answering:
'I guess so'
Nick's curt reply dodging his gaze as he did so:
'Right well we're already late and you left us in the dark Nick and one way or the other your going to talk this over are we clear on that.'
The serious gaze of his younger colleague now back on him realizing that his own tone was even harsher than he had whole heartedly meant it to be; as Nick flinched under his words the brown soft eyes remaining on him and before the CSI three could get a chance to say something his voice cut in again his tone softer than before knowing what Nick was probably thinking:
'So as I can keep an eye on you Nick'
…Those words resounded back at him now in an all new intensity, as he stood in this darkened apartment with his three remaining colleagues, the place eerily quite as he stood over the blood lined coffee table.
The other team had left; Ecklie's team more to the point, though there had been no Ecklie. He should have read more into that. They had come sent by Brass who had insisted on it when his own team was one man down and he would not have stopped them anyway, which in its own way told him how much that CSI three meant to those that he had worked with.
They had descended over this apartment like vultures; nothing had been left unturned or photographed but all that was to be found had been what himself and Warrick had gathered and what they all sought the one thing that made this a missing person's case this bloody mess had no body to go with it taken for some greater purpose…
His gaze drifted to the cracked broken coffee table the blood on it, the glass below it and that one thing which was left, a timeline in every essence of the word. As his gaze shifted to the bloodied fingerprint's that you could just see on the underside of coffee table at the corner the fingerprints that Warrick had noted, they belonged to one person, his colleague and it told him one thing he had been alive…
With that he went to lift the watch the one thing that no one had touched; left more by accident and bad luck than anything else a cruel gift sent to tease him as his fingers stretched out and the image in front of him changed he was no longer in a darkened apartment, his three colleagues who stood not far from him were now gone…
…Instead the room was flooded in bright sunlight behind him he could hear the TV and directly across from him at the other side of the coffee table next to the sofa lay a vulnerable form, who was leaning onto the side of that coffee table for support, he could hear the shallow irregular breathing from here and he could see the white of the knuckle of the hand which was gripping onto the corner of the coffee table….
The hand now moved no longer able to hold on and Gill seen the blood trickling freely from the slit wrist onto the glass; which had been broken under his weight, from the force of that blow that had sent his colleague to where he now was, the watch still on the wrist hung loosely falling to the floor with that movement, landing in among the shards of glass below the coffee table blood on the black strap, only a few millimeters from his own fingers…
Gill did not move his finger stayed there as he looked at the prone figure across from him, the gash on the side of the head the blood that was running down the side of that handsome face from it, some blood matted in the brown hair the rest of the blood starting to drip onto the carpet, brown glazed eyes that were not quite seeing were now looking in his direction as though he had been aware of that watch falling but unable to do anything about it.
The breathing was becoming more labored as Gill placed his fingers on the watch and those brown eyes looked directly into his as though seeing him, brown eyes that were looking at him in nine kinds of pain and he could do nothing….
It sunk like a knife deep into him that look; for something registered within at that moment, something that would become clearer with the days and years that followed and would be compounded in the one other small part of him that was left that lay yet unknown to them…
He seen a son; a son that he treated as he would have a blood son, never giving him any credit when credit was dew nor the respect that should have been given, coming down on him hard any time he made an error and though he had a lot to learn Nick had shown potential.
Something different from the natural talent of Warrick's and whether it came from that humanity, innocence and shear determination it was none the less unmatchable in its own right and in the end that was why he had always been pushing him so dam hard…
…never letting him fly solo very often either in his own way trying to protect him what Nick had probably more often than not seen as a kick in the teeth only frustrating him, from a boss that overlooked him completely…
Only now could he admit that when it was too late, that the Texan who had been loyal when he had given him more reason than most not to be was somehow a son to him and it hit hard…
…as those brown eyes shifted of him, that had never really seen him in the first place and was completely unaware of how he felt as that gaze fell to the watch that his fingers now lay on …
The breathing was becoming more irregular and shallower as his colleague's gaze shifted again to the door his followed, as the figure across from him tensed up knowing what coming as a shadow crossed over; Gill closed his eyes ignoring the sound of that second fatal blow he opened his eyes again the image had only slightly changed.
Someone was watching his colleague bleed, the blood now running faster from the slumped form across from him as the shadow drew nearer again, it was to much not wanting to go there, for he was well aware that's where the blood trail ended and to see any further would be committing that that live was already gone, he lifted the watch and the name slid out without thinking:
'Nicky'
The apartment changed back with that and for the first time no one answered to that name as he drew a deep breath, looking at the dried blood all to aware that what he had not wanted to see had none the less happened and nothing was left, the victim had been removed without incident and without being seen, a perfect crime….
Something inside him caved feeling loss at that thought for this was a crime scene like no other it had touched each of them to the core as his gaze looked at his remaining colleagues…
His eyes resting for a moment on Sara and then to Catherine drawing strength from her gaze knowing the support they were all needing from him and it was apparent at this moment; the team that had been was now gone with that one colleague and that live that bound all that stood in this apartment was by all accounts dead the blood not telling him otherwise, yet there was no body and that was his only hope….
As he looked again at the watch that now lay in his hand that was telling him he was running out of time if he was ever to find Nick Stokes alive…
TO BE CONTINUED