Hermione was stunned by Luna's story. Not to mention a little jealous. Draco had been Luna's first kiss, it was so surreal.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't mention any of that to Neville; I don't think he would like it." She said sweetly.
"I don't think anyone would like it. The same way they would if they knew about… if they knew about him and me." She sighed.
"People need to move past everything. It was a war, and it happened, but it's over now. Former supporters of You-Know-Who live next door to people who fought for our side. I think you'll find that a lot of people did what they did out of fear."
Hermione knew she was right. The regret that Draco must be feeling was so clear in his eyes. He must feel so alone, especially now.
"I don't know what to do, he was just so angry, and now he won't even look at me."
"You need to give him another chance. I know how hard it must be and if he lets you down again you'll have to let it go. No one would expect you to wait for his wounds to heal. I don't think they ever will." Luna was right but Hermione wasn't sure.
It was hard enough to watch him as it was. How would she ever move past this if she kept feeling like she should let him into her life?
"I need to make sure there's nothing left, don't I?" Luna nodded. "Thank you, I just feel lost at the moment.
"Oh, hey Hermione." The two of them turned around to look up at Neville. "I'm not interrupting am I?"
"No, of course not, I'm the one intruding. I was just leaving. Thanks again Luna." She stood up and gave them both a smile before heading back to the castle. She had a lot to think about.
The days had gone by so slowly but Draco had not been moving forward. If anything he was falling back to where he was before.
He tried not to think about her. He made a conscious effort not to look at her or even sit near her in the classes they shared. He tried not to let the disgust show on his face when he saw her with them, and he didn't want to think about how if it came down to it, she would choose them over him. He knew that was how it would go.
He couldn't bear to think about her anymore.
He had been so cruel to her, cruel enough that she wouldn't come back to him.
Pansy on the other hand was never going to let him forget about leaving her alone on the train. As if the birds weren't enough, she constantly spat her words at him and cut him down to make sure he knew that he was in the wrong. He should have just gone with her. None of this would have happened and he wouldn't have those memories in his head that hurt him so much.
As they headed down for breakfast in the morning he took a quick glance over at the Gryffindors. Potter was next to the female Weasley, and she was next to the other one. He felt the anger rising in his body. Well, what he thought was anger. Envy had a way of presenting as other emotions.
"Draco! Come on!" Pansy hissed as she patted the seat next to her.
He glared at the back of her head as he sat down.
He wasn't hungry. How could he eat? His face had grown slightly gaunter and his skin was somehow paler.
He grabbed a piece of toast and took a bite of it as it was, not even a smear of butter. It was horrible, dry and bland. Exactly the way he felt.
The owls screeched as the mail run began. He took no notice. Just as he had taken another bite of his toast a small envelope dropped in front of him. He eyed it suspiciously.
"Don't tell me you've got mail?" Pansy looked just about as surprised as he was and seemed eager to see what it was.
She always did like her nose in everything.
He slowly opened the envelope and took out a small piece of parchment. Almost as soon as he read the words they were gone.
Lumos Viola.
"Who's it from?" Pansy asked, almost in a demanding way.
"I don't know." He lied.
"Show me!" She snatched the paper from him and frantically searched it.
"It was blank when I got it so don't expect it to change." He said through gritted teeth.
"When I found out who sent this I'll hex them until their face is backwards." She snarled and Draco rolled his eyes.
"Well clearly you won't, it's a blank sheet of parchment." He snatched it back and crumpled it in his hand.
He let her think that he just threw it to the ground but he slipped it into his pocket. His eyes looked up slowly to see her trying to look anywhere but over at him. Her eyes darted up in his direction but he was the one to turn away.
He didn't get a moment alone until after all his classes. He went straight up to his dormitory and sat on his bed. He could see the name of the spell clearly in his mind and he took out his wand. The parchment was crumpled but still in one piece so he flattened it and touched the tip of his want to it.
"Lumos Viola." He whispered.
The words spread out over the page, writing themselves.
I know this isn't what you want Draco, so please, don't ignore this.
7:30.
He knew what it meant, of course he knew. The words faded into the page again and he crumpled up the note and threw it to the floor. He had to think, but wasn't the answer obvious?
Hermione knew what this meant. She knew that if he didn't show up there was no hope. He was too far gone and she couldn't save him. Who said he even wanted to be saved? She felt like she knew the answer to that one.
She reached the room of requirement at twenty-past seven and sat down by the warm fireplace. She still had ten minutes, at least.
She stared ahead at the door for a long time. She didn't look away; she didn't even check the time. It was an hour later when the tears spilled from her eyes.
This was it then. She saw him get the note, he obviously knew it was from her and he still chose to ignore it. She lay herself down on the couch and let out a sob.
Tomorrow she would not let herself feel like this. Tomorrow she would put it behind her and focus on her studies and her friends. Tonight she would cry out all the hurt she felt inside and try to forget the way she felt in his arms.
Two weeks had passed since Hermione sent her message to Draco. As she became stronger in his absence, Draco became weaker, easier for Pansy to manipulate. He still stole glances over at the Gryffindor table but she had stopped looking back at him. He watched as she laughed with her friends and began to smile as she sat in class with a book.
She was forgetting about him. He really was just another bump in the road.
The more deeply sad he felt at losing her, the more he couldn't stand to be around Pansy. One night in particular he just couldn't deal with her anymore.
She walked into the common room where Draco was sitting alone and sat on his lap.
"Everyone else is gone; I say you and I have a little fun." She grinned smugly and started to kiss his jaw.
"I can't." He pulled away from her and she grabbed his chin in her hand.
"What do you mean, 'you can't'?" She demanded.
"I mean that even I wanted to, which I don't, you aren't going to get any reaction from me." He growled.
"And why not?"
"Because I've had enough of this, enough of you, so get off me!" He shoved her and she jumped back, but not before slapping him around the face.
"You better have a better attitude in the morning you useless wretch!" She stormed off to her dormitory and left Draco seething on the couch.
He didn't sleep much that night, barely even a wink. He climbed out of bed early and decided to take a walk around the castle. After an hour of solid pacing through the stone walls he moved on to the grounds, his breath visible in the chilly morning air.
"You stop right there Draco Malfoy!" He was half-way around the lake when the timid but forceful voice from behind him came out of nowhere.
He knew who it was; it was a very distinctive voice.
He turned slowly to see Luna Lovegood staring at him with a mildly angry look on her face. She was never really angry.
"What?" He said solemnly.
"I can't believe you would walk away the way you did."
"I'm just taking a walk."
"You know perfectly well what I mean! You made the wrong choice Draco."
"I have no idea what you mean."
"Oh I see. You're still pretending you don't love her." She said.
He looked away. "I have no idea what you're-"
"Don't lie to me Draco! I know the way you feel about her! I could say it out loud before you could admit it to yourself." He closed his eyes tightly and tried not to think about all the times he said something to Luna about her.
About how she didn't even know how perfect she really was, about how clever she was, about how entrancingly beautiful she is and how he couldn't help but look at her when she came into a room.
"I thought… I thought I could just get her out of my system… I thought that maybe if I did all the things I wanted with her I could just forget about her…" He said through his laboured breaths.
"I'm willing to bet that you didn't realise all of the things that you actually wanted."
"She wouldn't choose me. She would choose them over me… someone like her could never be with someone like me…"
"You're perfect for each other…" She said softly and he grimaced.
"She could never… love me. How could anyone love a monster?"
Luna's heart went out to him, never once had he been more open than when he was talking about her.
"You were cruel to her, you pushed her away and kept coming back until one day you didn't. She comforted you, even when you were giving her scars. And she talked to me about you…" Draco looked over at her from the corner of his eye. "I think you make her feel exactly the same way that you do. She did send you those messages after all."
He thought about it for a moment.
"I know how much it hurts but she really does care about you, why else would she try so hard to avoid you when you don't want to be around her?"
He should have seen it sooner, she didn't seek him out because she pitied him or because she wanted to fix him; she sought him because she needed him too.
"I don't think you're too late, you'll just have to work a bit harder, that's all."
How could she ever forgive him for being so cold? What have I done?