They were just two little words. Not Hermione or even Luna knew just what it meant for Draco. He didn't just mean sorry for hurting her, he was sorry for everything.
No one could ever understand just how much he meant those two little words, and he wasn't sure who would even want to listen. Part of him felt like people would still be alive if he hadn't done the things he had done, if he had of been less of a coward.
Just saying, or even writing those words, was one of the hardest things he has ever done. He was admitting to himself that he had done some real wrongs in that last few years.
Maybe it would have been hard for him to say it back before everything, but that was because he was arrogant and it would hurt his pride. Maybe it was still partly about that, but mostly it was not wanting to have to face his feelings.
He watched as the swan flew towards her. He watched her gently pick it up and open it slowly. He watched as she tried to hide her feelings and pretended that she wasn't looking over at him. And then he watched her stand quickly and walk straight out of the library doors.
He really had hoped that she would talk to him again. At the least he thought she might look over.
As Hermione stormed away from her favourite place in the castle she bumped into Luna, literally.
"Oh! Sorry, I- I didn't see you." She tried to wipe her eyes subtly but it wasn't working.
"That quite alright, is everything okay Hermione?"
"Yes, no, everything is fine. I have to go." Hermione gave a small smile and walked straight past her.
He said sorry. Sure he said sorry about other things, but they were stupid things like snapping at her in the bathroom, or staring at her in the morning before she woke up.
No! She scolded herself. You need to stop remembering it all.
She headed back to the common room, and fast. She really hoped she could avoid Harry and Ginny, she really wasn't in the mood.
She didn't sleep well that night. She was up tossing and turning and she couldn't turn off her mind. Usually her mind worked overtime, but it was just ridiculous that night. In her drowsy state she ran her hands over one side of her bed, the cold empty side.
She could still remember him lying there, his blue eyes looking up at her and the smile that so rarely flickered onto his lips.
When she opened her eyes there was nothing, not even a trace that he had been there with her.
She sighed and got herself up to face the day.
She stood in front of the large gilded mirror and looked at herself. Her wavy hair was wild and bushy and she had small circles under her eyes. As she dragged the brush through her knotted mane she started wishing that she had never felt an interest in him. She wished that she never walked around that corner to see him with Pansy and that he never came to confront her about it.
It would make everything so much easier. She knew that with all her distractions her studies were suffering, despite her extra efforts. As much as she wished that all of these things never happened, she didn't want to lose her memories.
After making herself look at least presentable she wandered down the stairs, it was a Saturday but she couldn't face a whole day of trying to study and getting nowhere.
"Morning Hermione!" Ron called from the armchair in front of the fire.
Ginny and Harry were huddled up on one end of the couch and Ron was giving them a watchful eye from the chair. Hermione might almost have managed a laugh.
"Morning, what are you all up to today?" She asked as she sat in the opposite armchair.
"There are a couple of trains going to Hogsmeade, what do you guys think?" Harry suggested.
Ron shrugged a little before Ginny piped up. "Sounds like fun."
"So is it just the two of us?" Harry asked, a little too hopefully.
"No, I'm coming." Ron said flatly.
Hermione's lips twitched into a little smile. She had missed them all so much.
"Hermione?" They all looked over to her and she thought for a minute, it would be a welcome distraction.
"Uh, why not?" She smiled feebly.
"Oh, before I forget, Luna was looking for you." Ginny said.
"Did she say why?" Hermione asked.
"No… she just said that she would probably be down by the lake in the morning. She said you'd know where it was. She came to see you yesterday at dinner but you were asleep so I told her I'd let you know."
"Thanks Ginny, I might go and see her and meet you all in Hogsmeade."
"Okay, what's the time?" Harry asked.
"Almost eleven." Ron yawned.
"Was I really in bed for that long?" Hermione said quietly.
"I think we all were, the cold weather just makes you want to sleep." Harry looked in danger of yawning as well.
"We'll leave around midday; did you want to meet in the Three Broomsticks?" Ginny asked as Harry let out a silent yawn.
"Sure, I'll go and see Luna." She stood up quietly and gave a weak smile as she headed out of the common room.
"Is she alright?" Ron watched her leave with a puzzled look.
"I don't know, she seems a bit off doesn't she." Ginny wasn't sure what was wrong.
"Do you think something happened over Christmas?" Harry wondered.
She would usually tell him anything, they had always been so close.
"Maybe, I'll try and talk to her later, if she wants to talk that is." Ginny sighed.
Draco had to find another way to get her to talk to him; he wasn't going to give up this time. It wasn't hopeless. He saw the look in her eyes when he spoke to her yesterday. She was hurt, and she didn't want to let herself get hurt again. He was trying his hardest to make sure he wouldn't hurt her again.
How much time did he have before it was too late for them? Was it already too late to convince her how sorry he was? He had never really said it out loud before and he intended to tell her exactly how he felt. All of it.
As he looked down at the pocket watch in his hand and felt around in his pocket for the little black box. Something told him that this was his last chance to be with her and he really didn't intend on messing it up.
Hermione walked down to the lake, looking for Luna. She had a feeling that she knew what she wanted to talk about but she came anyway. She was standing down by the water when she heard the voice speak from behind her.
"You came."
It wasn't the doe-eyes blonde that she had expected, it was the boy she was trying to forget.
"I'm here to see Luna." She said without turning to him.
"Please just let me talk." He walked around to face her, his eyes pleading. "I never wanted to hurt you. I just, I – I couldn't believe that anything I did could hurt you because it was impossible for me to believe that you cared. No one has ever cared like you." He mumbled the last part and she was inches from giving in, but she had come too far.
"Draco we can't turn this around now. We aren't – this isn't right."
"I got this for you." He ignored her and reached into his pocket.
He held out a little black box and she shook her head.
"I can't Draco, no."
"Please, just open it; I never gave you anything for Christmas." She couldn't hold herself back, she had to see what it was, what he had done.
She held her hand out tenderly and let him hand it to her, making sure their fingers didn't touch. As she slowly opened the little box she felt a fluttery feeling engulf her.
Inside was a red and black river stone on a thin golden chain. Engraved in gold on the pendant was the ancient rune for 'Sun'. It was beautiful, exactly the kind of thing that Hermione liked. He knew exactly the kind of thing she would want, but she couldn't accept it.
"I thought it might do something to make up for what I did to you, and if not then at least you have something when you went to all that trouble for my, for the watch." He gave a little shrug, so scared that she would cut him down as he had done to her.
"I can't take this." She shut the box and exhaled shakily. "I can't have this to remind me of you. I can't take this." She handed it back and he moved away from it.
"No, I want you to have it. Hermione…-"
"No! Don't! Don't do that, I can't do it anymore!" She stepped away as he went to touch her arm.
"Hermione, please."
"I said don't, I can't do this twice Draco so stop!" She threw the box back at him but he wouldn't catch it and they both watched in slow motion as it rolled down the small slope and towards the lake.
Hermione clasped her hands over her mouth and her eyes became glassy. "I'm sorry!" She mumbled through her fingers.
He looked at the spot where he had last seen it and looked back up at Hermione. "If you need proof of what I'll do for you then I'll give it to you." He stripped off his snow jacket and started pulling off his shoes.
"Draco! What are you doing?!"
"I'm showing you what I'll do to get you to give me a second chance." He raised his eyebrows quickly and turned to the lake.
As he jumped into the water Hermione ran to the edge to try and stop him. "Draco you can't! The ice has only just melted, you'll freeze!" She reached out to grab him but he slipped through her fingers. "Draco!"
Her chest was rising and falling quickly as she waited for him to resurface. He should have resurfaced by now.
He came up for air and she sighed. "Get out here!" She hissed.
"Not until… I… find it." He stuttered through the cold.
"Please Draco you'll freeze before you find it! The lake goes down for miles!" She held out her hand for him to take it.
She was realising just how much he meant, she was terrified that something was going to happen to him. He was giving her his best smirk, but she figured out that he was being… playful. "Draco this isn't funny!"
He gave her another smile and her lips loosened to return it when he was suddenly pulled under water.
"Draco!" She yelled.
She saw him splashing around then she saw a green tendril reach up and pull him further under. Why did he have to be an idiot? Why did she have to give back his present? Why didn't she wrap her arms around him and tell him that she wanted them to try again when he had asked? Oh god, what have I done to him?!
She was starting to panic and had no idea how to help him; all she knew was that she had to do something. All she could think of was to blast the creature with sunlight, there's a reason they lurk in the Black Lake.
She pulled out her wand and pointed it at the last place she saw him. "Lumos Solem!"
Sunlight steamed out of the tip of her wand and the thrashing in the water stopped. When the water was still she pulled her wand away and looked into the lake, there was no sign of him
With tears streaming down her face she sent ropes flying from her wand into the dark waters, searching for him. When the ropes latched on to something she pulled them back and Draco came out of the water with them. The ropes pulled him up the bank and onto the icy grass. As they slipped back into her wand she threw it to the ground and knelt over him.
"Draco! Draco can you hear me?! Draco!" She yelled, her eyes searching his face for any sign that he was still breathing.
She was more scared in this moment than she had been for a long time, he couldn't possibly be gone. She wouldn't let him.
"Draco you come back to me now!" As she screamed the words and the tears rolled down her cheeks she pressed her lips against his.
They were cold and damp but they still felt as familiar as they had only a few weeks ago. She wondered why she ever let him go.
She felt him stir under her and she pulled back as he coughed and opened his eyes with rapid breaths.
"Draco!" She smiled and put a hand on his cheek.
"I'm sorry." He choked out and put his hand over hers.
They stared into each other's eyes but Hermione froze when she heard a voice call out to her.
"Hermione! What are you doing?!" She couldn't move, she couldn't even breath, all she knew was that Harry and the others were standing a mere few feet from them, and she had no explanation to give them.