Chapter 8: Wishing for something I used to have

A/n I made a longer chapter! :D I think... it looks longer on Word, but now that I look at it here, I'm not so sure... ^^ Anyways, I hope you like this one! This is the last day of suffering for Featherpaw! Tomorrow, she shall be ready to do some real training! Yay! Enjoy this chapter!

Day 3

I open my eyes to see the den empty. I get up, and stretch, my side sore from how I slept on it last night. I may as well get some food for Jaypaw. I walk over to the fresh-kill pile and grab two mice and head towards the medicine cat den. Jaypaw and Leafpool are in there, making poultices and healing Hazeltail and Berrynose. I put the mice in front of the medicine cats. "I thought you might be hungry." I meow quietly. Jaypaw looks at me, and then starts sniffing at my wounds. "You tore some of them. What were you doing since I last saw you?"

"Bad dream, I guess," I mumble. He hurries over to the store, and Leafpool narrows her eyes at me. "Jaypaw, don't worry about Featherpaw. I'll heal her wounds, you get back to Hazeltail."

Jaypaw stops, his ear flicking slightly, but nods. "Ok, Leafpool."

I sit down patiently as I wait for her to get the herbs. Leafpool comes back with a few leaves, and starts chewing them and spitting them onto the wound. She hisses something to me as she pulls back to chew more herbs. "I know what you're doing."

I frown at her. "I'm not allowed to make friends?"

The medicine cat spits more onto my scratch. "More than friends, don't you think?" she puts a paw on my wound and pads it down over my scratches evenly. "How about you go and help the Clan somehow, instead of lingering around Jaypaw while he's trying to work."

I leave the den without replying to her. I'm not doing anything wrong! We're allows to have friends in the Clan!

I pad over to Graystripe; he looks at me from head to tail. "Are you feeling better, Featherpaw?"

I nod. "Can we go on a border patrol or something?"

Graystripe hesitates. "Maybe you should check the elders' den for ticks, first. Then we can go out into the forest."

"Ok." I meow. I look back at the medicine den. What if Leafpool thinks I'm there to see Jaypaw? I shake my head. I'm not. I'm there to get mouse bile for the elders' ticks. I walk back to the medicine den, and go to Leafpool instead of Jaypaw to ease her suspicions. "I need mouse bile. Graystripe wants me to search the elders for ticks."

Leafpool nods slowly. "Ok, get Jaypaw to show you where it is."

I gape slightly. She's doing this on purpose! I close my mouth and pad over to Jaypaw. He looks up from healing Hazeltail. "Featherpaw!" a grin spreads on his face and his eyes light up. "How are your wounds?"

I give them a sniff. "Better than before, I guess. Can I have some mouse bile for the elders?"

Jaypaw nods, and gives me some. "Make sure you wash your paws after, the stench is horrid."

"Thanks, Jaypaw!" I take the stick of mouse bile and make my way to the elders' den.

I step into the den to see Longtail and Mousefur in their nests, talking to each other. Mousefur is snapping. "I don't need to go to the medicine den! Leafpool and Jaypaw have enough to worry about as it is; I'll be fine until the other warriors have recovers."

Longtail shook his head. "No, Mousefur. You've been using excuses all the time. You need to go to the medicine cats; it'll only take them a few heartbeats to ease some of the pain for at least a few days. Then you can rest better."

I pad over with the stick hanging awkwardly out of my jaw. "Hi," I meow from around the mouse bile covers stick. "Can I check your pelts for tics?"

Longtail blinks at me. "You must be that new apprentice, Featherpaw. It'll be fine; we can do this by ourselves."

I shake my head. "It's really ok, I can do this."

Mousefur shrugs. "Just as long as the tics are out of my pelt,"

Longtail smiles, "Thank you, Featherpaw."

I go through the elders' tics, and only find a few. The apprentices do this all the time, so it isn't so hard. When I finish, I take the stick out to the river at the WindClan border and dig it up. "I don't know if this is what they do with the sticks, but I guess this'll have to do for now." I go over to the river and jump in. The water felt nice, and I remember the last time I had been in water was when I went to the beach with my family. I remember my little sister and me, swimming through the water, pretending we were mermaids, and then body boarding on the waves. I sigh. That seems like such a long time ago. I hope they're ok, and that they aren't worrying about me. Who am I kidding? Of course they're worried about me! I close my eyes, releasing the tears that had wells. I hope they haven't gone looking for me. In fact, I hope… that this is a dream, and that I'll wake up to see my family hasn't missed me at all. I hear rustling in the leaves nearby. The grey tabby with jay blue eyes emerges from the branches, his fur ruffled by the wind. I growl. It's as if he's always there!

Jaypaw pads up to me and blinks. "I didn't know you liked the water, Featherpaw."

I get out, and shake each leg. He sits down and wraps his tail around his paws. "What was your Two-Leg name?"

"It was…" I close my eyes, trying to remember, but Featherpaw is all I can think of. "I can't remember." I break into tears.

Jaypaw looks startled at me. "Featherpaw? Don't cry, please. Why are you so upset?"

"Why? Because I miss my family, Jaypaw! I just want to go home! I miss my sister, and mum and dad! I miss my cat and dog, I even miss school!"

Jaypaw looks frightens, his mouth gaps and his eyes wide. "You're leaving?"

"Do I even have a choice?" I hiss.

Jaypaw closes his eyes, trying to take deep breaths. I take a step forward. "Jaypaw?"

He opens his eyes again, the fierce blue flames flashing with anger. "Don't you understand?"

I take a step back, alarms by his sudden hostility.

He pelts through the forest; all he left was his scent. I stare after him in confusion. Once again, his change of behaviour has left me baffled. Am I ever going to figure him out? Huh, like that's ever going to happen.