For the next week Draco acted very strangely. Hermione couldn't quite figure out what was going on with him. For some reason he was pulling away from her faster, he would fall into a rage with barely any motivation and he left her abruptly a few times when she thought she could see fear or sadness creeping in. She assumed it was just the strain of being home but she couldn't help feeling that it was more than that.

Still, she didn't bring it up with him; she had decided that if there was something he wanted to tell her he would. Some things might just be better for him to keep inside.

She hated not knowing what was wrong but she knew that if she kept pushing they were going to end up on a roller coaster with no end.

They had done that before and it was worse than not knowing. It just made it worse that she had a thirst for knowledge, one of these days she was going to end up pushing him again, but maybe that would be a better day.

She was trying to build herself up some courage to tell someone other than Luna about the two of them, but somehow just the thought of starting that conversation made her sick.

Maybe she could tell Ginny, but then again what if she freaked out and told the others, no one would understand. What had she gotten herself into?

She didn't want her relationship with Draco to end but that couldn't possibly mean giving up her friends, could it? She gave herself headaches just thinking about it.

"What am I supposed to do?" She asked.

Luna looked away, a pensive look on her face.

It was two weeks after their break and Draco had started to pick up his mood, he was back to the man that she had seen him grow into and Hermione was so happy just to be with him, but everything was weighing heavily on her mind. She had asked Luna if they could meet in the grounds to talk about it. She was probably starting to get on Luna's nerves, but then again, Luna was far too polite to say.

"You're in a bit of a tight squeeze here aren't you?" She said. "I suppose it's a little similar to Neville introducing me to his grandmother. He knew it wasn't going to go well but he loves me so he wanted to do it. It was actually really brave of him. Like Seamus says, she is quite a scary woman."

Hermione thought about it. They were quite similar situations, even if one was probably a little worse than the other. Luna was hardly what Neville's grandmother would call appropriate, but at least she wasn't a former death eater.

"I just don't want to lose them, any of them. This whole war has made everything so much more complicated. It would have been bad enough if this had happened back in fifth year, before things escalated. Now, it's just… I don't know what I want." Hermione said.

"Yes you do."

"I want them both! I want my friends and my… boyfriend," It still sounded weird for her to say, but it left a pleasant taste in her mouth. "I just know that I can't choose both so I don't know what I want."

"Why can't you have them both? You shouldn't have to choose between the two things that make you happiest. And if you choose to tell the others, you'll always have me." She smiled and Hermione sighed.

If it wasn't for Luna she probably wouldn't even have a relationship with Draco. She was the one who convinced Hermione to give him the benefit of the doubt, to try and look past what's on the outside and think about the pain that was inevitably on the inside. She helped her to see him for who he is and she was thankful for Luna's help.

"I never really thanked you for everything you've done to help me through this. You don't know how grateful I am." Hermione put her hand over Luna's and gave her a warm smile.

"I do, and you don't have to thank me. Draco's done enough of that for the two of you." She smiled wider.

Had she been talking to Draco? Or better, had Draco been talking to Luna? What had he told her? What did he say? Why didn't he talk to her?

"Besides, it's nice to have someone to talk to sometimes." Hermione felt a pang of guilt at that last part.

She always sought Luna out and asked her for things but she never really talked to Luna like friends do. It was very one sided and she started to feel guilty for not being a better friend, especially when Luna had been such a wonderful one.

"So… apart from clashing with Neville's grandmother, how was your time on the break? I don't think I actually asked you." Hermione said.

"That's alright, and it was lovely actually. My father thinks Neville is just wonderful. They have a lot in common." She smiled.

Hermione didn't know if that was necessarily true, but Luna would be a much better judge of that than she ever would.

"You didn't really sleep out in the garden did you?"

"No, Neville told her that she was out of line. She was just trying to do the right thing by him." Luna said.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me that Neville actually stood up to his grandmother?"

"Oh yes, he can be quite forceful when he wants to be." Hermione hid her smile behind her lips and Luna laughed. "Oh Hermione, I didn't mean like that."

"Sorry, I just… sorry, I don't know why that crossed my mind. I just can't imagine Neville ever being like that."

"He saved your life once didn't he?" Hermione looked up perplexed and then remembered.

"The snake…"

"He likes to talk about that, quite often in fact. I think he likes it that he got to feel like he was the hero for once, he always feels like the damsel in distress." Luna smiled to herself a little.

"Well, he does have a bit of a habit of getting himself into trouble." Hermione laughed.

"Don't we all?" She said.

"Why do you always have some philosophical response? If everyone came to you with their problems I think they'd be solved a lot faster."

"I suppose that's what happens when you get a lot of time to think."

"Do you and Neville spend a lot of time apart?" Hermione asked, looking out over the great expanse of the country around them.

"I suppose, we can't just be together all the time. He has a lot of work to do if he wants to be a professor."

"That's what he wants to do?" Hermione didn't know that Neville had been considering becoming a professor, then again, she had never really asked him either.

"Oh yes, or a scholar. He loves herbology. I think he would really love to study it further. But that would mean a lot of time apart, my dad says he can make a position for me at the Quibbler when I leave. We communicate very well via owls anyway." Luna smiled and rested her chin on her hand.

Hermione couldn't imagine the majority of a relationship being via the mail. She would hate it. She would be able to do it, if it meant getting further in a career she could make that sacrifice, but she wouldn't be happy about it. She tried to subtly look down at her watch but Luna noticed.

"You don't have to stay here with me if you have somewhere else to be." She smiled politely.

"Will you go to see Neville?" Hermione asked.

"He has a rather long paper due in a few days so he isn't really focussed on anything else."

"You know, maybe you should be a little more demanding of him. I hardly think he's as forceful as you say. I'm sure he just doesn't know that he's not spending enough time with you. I think he'd sooner say yes to going to Hogsmeade with Seamus and Dean than you if you didn't let him know that you wanted to. He's not like that on purpose, he just doesn't realise." Hermione shrugged, trying to offer Luna some advice for once.

"I think it's important that he spends time with his friends." Hermione laughed a little.

"Well don't let him neglect you. He needs a firm hand and a lot of guidance I think." That sparked a little smile from Luna.

"I see what you're doing. It's very clever. You don't have to stay here chatting; I know you're supposed to be meeting him." She smiled slightly, holding the rest of it in.

"You talk to Draco?" Hermione asked.

"Only very little, a sentence or two here and there." She shrugged.

"What about?" She tried to seem disinterested but she knew that she was being completely obvious.

Luna tilted her head to the side without a word and Hermione blushed.

"There's only really one thing we have in common." Hermione looked away and smiled a little. "Anyway, you best be going, you usually meet about now, don't you?"

"Thank you." Hermione said, putting a hand over Luna's and giving it a little squeeze. "Now don't let Neville push you around." The two of them giggled at the thought and Hermione headed off to the usual meeting place.

They hadn't had a lot of time together in the last few weeks; they both had a lot of study to work on. It would be hard enough to have a relationship during seventh year, let alone a secret one.

When she reached the room of requirement she opened the door to find Draco already inside reading. A smile slipped onto his face when he saw her and she sat down beside him placing a gentle kiss on his lips. She snuggled up to him and he dropped the book by his bag.

"How did your potion work out?" she asked.

They were both taking advanced potions and she knew that even she struggled with the last assignment.

"Pretty well, not that he'd know. Old Slughorn picks his favourite students before he sees what they can do." He spat that last part a little.

"I see you're back to normal then." She gave him a cheeky grin and looked up.

"Shut up." He nudged her with his side.

She reached up to stroke his face with her fingertips and he closed his eyes. He adored it when she touched him like that. She could be so tender, so gentle. He tilted his head and she rested her forehead against his cheek. Her soft fingers traced the lines down his face and over the muscles in his neck.

"I can't stay long." He all but whispered.

She sighed and slipped her hand under the collar of his shirt. He tipped his head up a little and grazed her lips with his. Her small hands ran back up to his neck to hold him there so that he couldn't pull away. He had no intention of doing so. This was the only part of his day that made him feel something, something real and pure.

His mind wandered back to the first time she had touched him. It was back in the prefect's bathroom when he had followed her, trying to get her out of his system.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Going for a dip. Is that a problem Granger?"

A smile reached his lips and he kissed her deeper.

"I knew you were jealous Granger, you can't stand the thought of me with anyone can you?"

"You don't know what you're talking about Malfoy."

"Draco…" She said, pulling him out of his memories.

He pulled away, his… discomfort mildly obvious. He coughed and pulled himself away from her, "sorry."

She smiled as she looked away, her cheeks baring a slight crimson blush. He exhaled heavily and closed his eyes tightly.

He felt her hand, light and hesitant, feather over his knee. She pushed her fingers gently up his thigh a small way and back down again. His eyes stayed closed as she repeated the movement, her hand growing more confident with each stroke. He could feel the heat from her body radiating next to him and he laughed very lightly.

"You're not helping." He said.

"Would it be so bad if I were a burden, just this once?" She leant in and kissed him just beneath his ear.

He breathed in sharply and parted his lips silently. Her fingertips moved only a little higher and his breath became shallow. He opened his eyes, a firm gaze locked on hers.

She blinked in a way that was hardly meant to be seductive but Draco bit down on his lip anyway. He could see in her the vulnerability that she still had but before he had time to think about it her lips were locked into his and her body was pressed against him.

Inside he was burning. He wanted more than anything to cool that fire and let her extinguish the flame, but he just couldn't. He pushed her back and closed his eyes again, entirely focussed on resisting temptation.

Temptation.

"I don't want to play your games."

"I think you look much better just like this."

And with a single thought it was gone; any fire inside him was drowned by a single memory of guilt and hatred for himself. How could he?

"I just…um…" He started but she put two fingers to his lips and gave him a peck on the cheek with no more than a shrug of her shoulders and a sympathetic smile.

He didn't want it to be like this. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her with everything that he had, with everything he could give. He just couldn't. Not like this.

She was perfect, she was pure. He was certain that she would never forgive him if she knew it all, and he didn't want to spoil something that was so naturally wonderful. He didn't want to expose her to his darkness. In a way he wished that it could stay this way indefinitely, but he knew that things had to change. As happy as he was when he was with her he just couldn't shake that darkness inside of him.

He sighed and looked at her with a tilt of his head. "Like I said, I can't stay long." He said.

"Would it matter? You always stop." She smiled and he looked away.

"Please don't." He didn't want to think about it.

He felt terrible as it was, his memory was betraying him. How often did that happen? He could never forget.

Hermione bit her lip and looked to the fire. Why was he being like this? Usually he would at least participate for a while before shutting her out but ever since the break he just wouldn't have a bar of it. She desperately wanted to ask him why he was like this but she knew that he would never answer.

It's not like she was desperately waiting for something more physical. She was perfectly happy with the way they were, it's not like she has ever experienced it before, what she had never had she couldn't miss. She was in no hurry, but sometimes when they touched her body ached for more. No one had ever made her feel that way. No one had ever made her want something more than just emotional intimacy.

Then again, no one had dismissed her need as quickly as Draco. She just couldn't understand it.

"Does this have something to do with Pansy Parkinson?" She asked very tentatively, not looking up at him.

His head snapped towards her, horror written all over his face. He hid it behind his shock at her random question. "Why would you ask that?" He choked.

She stood up and paced in front of him. "I don't know! I'm sorry I just can't think of any other reason why you wouldn't… why you wouldn't want this." Her cheeks were swimming in crimson. "Is it because I'm not… more like her?"

Draco stepped up and grabbed her arms. "Hey!" He snapped. "Why would I want you to be like her? She's… she's pathetic. All she ever does is try to get into my head, and manipulate me into doing the things she wants." His brow was furrowed and he could feel his nostrils flaring.

"And you always went back."

"Wouldn't you? If that was the only thing…" His eyes darted away but she kept her eyes trained on him. "If she was the only thing that wanted me too?" He said through gritted teeth

"You don't want me to be more like her?"

"Of course not." He shook his head and scoffed.

She smiled, a little too quickly.

"You… you knew that." He said.

"I… No, I just-"

He pulled back and just looked at her. "You already knew that I can't stand her. Why would you ask me that?" The look on his face was a mixture of confusion and betrayal.

It was true she knew that he didn't want her to be Pansy; she just wanted him to say something, for once. She realised now that by putting on even a very small act she was manipulating him, just like her.

"Draco I-"

"Do you want to be just like her?" He spat.

"Of course not I didn't mean to… I just wanted you to give me some indication of what's going on in your head! You can talk to Luna but not to me. I just-"

"So that's what it was about? You get me to talk because you're jealous of Looney Lovegood?" He shook his head and pushed past her to grab his book and bag.

"Where are you going?" She pleaded.

He didn't answer. He just stormed out the door and slammed it back.

Hermione sighed and put her head in her hands. Why did she do that? She knew that Pansy manipulated him so why did she think that tricking him into talking to her would ever work? She sat down on the couch and bit down on her lip. How could she have been so stupid?

Just as she was punishing herself for doing that to him to door opened and he walked back in, bag over his shoulder and hands in his pockets.

"Draco! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't." He said. "Don't apologize."

He walked over to sit by her side. "I never wanted to-"

"Just, don't." He said softly. "I know you want me to talk to you. It's not easy." He sighed. "I want you. I really, really want you." He gave her a small smile. "If I wanted her I could still have her." The guilt was overpowering, that was the worst thing. "I don't want her anymore. I don't want anything to do with her. I just don't want to make you like her. I don't want you to think that doing that will make me happy because… well I mean it might but I don't think it could get much better." He looked away, clearly having trouble expressing himself. "Can I stop now?" He said awkwardly.

She laughed a little and kissed him. "I'm sorry." She said.

He shrugged and kissed her cheek. "I really do have to go now." He said.

"Okay." Her fingertips brushed the side of his face and he closed his eyes before getting up and leaving, again.

He would never have done that a month ago. Never. She smiled to herself.

Progress.