The Things We Can't Change
"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change we seek." – Barack Obama
"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." – Lao Tzu
If you had asked Draco in his first year at Hogwarts what he thought would be his biggest regret after he finished school. His reply would have been instant "I'm a Malfoy. We do not regret." He would of course have been parroting his father verbatim.
If you had asked him what he would have changed at the end of that year he would have replied "I would have ducked." Referring to when he had been caught spying on Potter.
To be completely honest it wasn't until Dumbledore's death that the Slytherin came to think of what he could have changed; not a hell of a lot. His parents as well as his own life had been at stake.
Draco Malfoy was a coward. It was a fact simple and true, and Draco had never felt more like one then the days he watched Hermione Granger walk into the Department of Mystery. Each and every morning she walked past his desk and he sat without even the courage to say hello; most mornings he couldn't even bring himself to look up.
Draco had chosen the department as they were the only ones willing to allow him some sibilance of equality, more interested in their own research than affiliation during the war. Both Hermione and Draco were trained together and sadly as a repercussion of Draco's questionable loyalty, their similar age and date of employment the two were paired together for many assignments.
The start had been less than ideal, Hermione self-righteous preaching about forgiveness being earned, and (as much as he was loathe to admit) his own childish stubborn streak. Soon however the pair were sat in front of the department head and told should they not sort their relationship they would both be fired. So with a large amount of resentment the two made a silent pact. Personal issues were to remain outside the office and the sole focus of the two would be work and only work.
Over time the two's relationship grew to what one could only call partnership. Neither asked about the others personal life nor associated outside of work. And it worked. However it was impossible to not gain an intimate knowledge of the other with the amount of time they spent together. Both came to read the other perfectly being able to react and anticipate the other's needs within their shared environment. As the time past both came to rely on the other in their own way.
However the day that Draco came to realise his cowardice was the day the pact broke.
Hermione and Draco were sitting eating lunch as they read through the research book occasionally jotting down information on a note pad. Hermione on any other day would be wearing a satisfied smirk at the great Malfoy using a muggle pen and paper to take notes. The two had been working together for close to three years, it had taken Draco two of those years to finally admit –begrudgingly- that a pen and note pad were far more convenient then quill and parchment.
"Hermione," it had taken two and a half years for him to use her first name - the word still foreign from his mouth. "Hermione," The dazed look in Hermione's eyes fades slowly as she is brought out of her mind by a slightly irritated Draco. "Yes?" Her voice still sounding far away; as her eyes come to focus on the blonde. Draco looked at her then at the book that she has yet to turn the page of in the last hour. There was an audible pause before Hermione blurted, "Ron asked me to marry him, but… well I don't know we still argue like cats and dogs and… I don't know sometimes I feel like you understand me better, you know. Oh I don't know." Hermione sat fidgeting.
"I think you know, Granger." Draco replies. If you had asked him what he had meant by that statement he wouldn't have been able to answer. Hell he didn't know.
The day passed like any other after their conversation. Though that night Draco did not return to his apartment but rather he and Hermione shared their first and only night together.
Draco Malfoy was a coward.
Neither he nor Hermione ever spoke of their one shared night. Perhaps they were both waiting for the other to approach the elephant in the room.
Draco was not the only coward.
Hermione married Ron.
Hermione climbed the ladder; Draco and Hermione barely shared so much as a look. Work and family drew them apart. Though both could not help the quick silent glances they allowed themselves never catching the others eye.
Draco's Father passed and he gained the role of head of the Malfoy line, quitting his job in order to manage the family affairs. Hermione read in the prophet he was marrying Astoria.
Though Hermione and Draco rarely spoke and never more than pleasantries. Despite occasional daydreams into the 'what if' both were happily content in their marriages.
If you asked Draco now if he regretted the way things turned out, you would see a slight quirk of in the left corner of his mouth and a faraway look in his eyes before he would reply "I'm a Malfoy. We do not regret."