I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any characters. No copyright infringement intended.
Notes: LONG medical and work week - thank you for being so patient for this chapter. HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks to Fifilla, CinderH, JazzieG and Synbou for the incessant (and I"m sure tedious by this time) questions and revisions on what was already technically complete. It seems the muses always want more. ;-)
H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O
Chapter Twelve
After the long morning which stretched into the lunch hour, Steve began to assume that his partner was over the worst of his snit. Especially when the Governor postponed the three o'clock appointment and their afternoon was freed up. They received the call in the coolness of the air-conditioned car as they drove back to the office and Danny visibly relaxed in the driver's seat.
"You want to talk now?" The sudden and very firm set to Danny's jaw expressed the sentiment first and Steve frowned.
"No."
"How about lunch?" Steve offered with a nod towards the clock on the dash. He relaxed when Danny silently agreed. He then almost kiddingly joked out one more special request as they parked in the lot near Kamekona's shrimp truck. But the truth was, Steve had focused on the ridiculous tie as his culprit.
Even with the strong shore breeze, hot was an understatement and they'd be eating at one of the beach-side tables. The vent to the air conditioning was aimed purposefully and on high directly into Danny's face for the entire return trip. It only partially seemed to set Danny back on his feet. After watching him wipe gallons of sweat from his face with his arm back at Vernon Fields, Steve still wasn't certain how he was putting up with it.
"Ditch the tie before I need to resuscitate your sorry, obstinate, over-heated ass on the pavement in front of Kamekona's truck."
"My sorry ass on the pavement? Mine?" Danny made an incredulous face but his hand went right to the annoying overly constrictive fabric and he fumbled for a minute before loosening and yanking it over his head. Without looking at Steve's sarcastic but distinctly satisfied smile, he tossed it blindly into the backseat and unbuttoned the first four buttons on his dress shirt. When he did turn to Steve, Danny had his hand on the door to get out of the Camaro, but his expression was definitely one of angry frustration.
"Let me tell you one thing .. you picking my ass off the pavement would be amazingly less dramatic than anyone scraping what might be left of your's from a plunging leap off a 10-story building without a net!"
"It wasn't that bad, Danny!" The uncertain smile plastered across Steve's face only annoyed his partner more. But the blustery tirade was back in full force and Steve was enjoying the front row seat.
"Now we're talking, Danno." Steve leaned back and folded his arms smugly as Danny sputtered and his face turned bright red. His hand flew off the door handle and made a 'you to me' gesture between himself and where Steve sat in the passenger seat.
"We .. we here .. no, this is not talking. This is me venting healthily." He had to smile at that; Steve simply couldn't help it as Danny's ire rose and he squinted almost dangerously as Steve dared to reiterate the words.
"Venting? Healthily?"
Danny slammed his mouth closed before deciding what to say next and what he said made Steve's initial smile begin to disappear.
"Really, you think this is funny? You want to tell my kid that after you explain it to me because I am not impressed?" Danny stared at Steve defiantly. He was still upset with the circumstances and Steve backed off completely.
The red-faced rush was on a singular hard push of exhaled air. "It's been a 42 days since she last saw you. Grace stopped asking about Uncle Steve only yesterday. At first I thought I wanted that .. we both got too close .. and I couldn't deal with telling her that you got hurt as badly as you were. I had to protect her .. us ... because she wanted to see you every day and they wouldn't allow her in the ICU which was a blessing. Then I made a decision to protect her and I've continually put off hoping she would do just what she's done. But now that it's happened, that's no good either."
"No." He took a deep breath and muttered under his breath. "Not good at all."
"You've been counting? 42 - really?" Steve's face went through a number of agonizing emotions as he digested 42 days. One or both of them had been calendar-watching and he was more than deeply touched by that. He knew it had been a long time - a much too long of a time - but 42 days was mind-boggling. He stared at Danny as he seemed to run out of steam as quickly as he'd gained the momentum.
"Protect her?' That one point slowly edged its way into Steve's brain. He instantly knew what Danny meant and he had nothing to say. There was nothing he could say as he realized Danny had amended that sentence to include 'us'. The fact only one day had passed without Grace asking for him hurt until he realized it hurt Danny, too.
"I'm sorry, Danny." As genuine as it was, it still wasn't nearly enough. Steve didn't know how to explain how much he valued them as family. Which was at the end of the day, the plain reason behind Danny's emotional temper. He valued it .. for himself, and for Grace. By the injured look in Danny's eye, he knew that the issue was still open.
"We're both cops, Danny." He said it as an excuse and Danny was already shaking his head to once again clarify it.
"No, I am by rights." Things were dwindling rapidly as words started to come out wrong. Each knew it though as the temperature in the Camaro rose. Danny was sweating again and Steve's face had become a bit more hard. At a loss once more, Danny opened the car door to slide out. "You ... you are a first class moron."
With that, Danny lurched from the Camaro and aimed himself towards the shrimp wagon where he heatedly demanded his standard fare. Behind him, Steve stood silently and uneasily as he only half-engaged Kamekona and then followed his partner to the table. Danny was sitting there with his eyes closed as sweat continued to roll of his face. He was arguing with himself as he had for days now about his job, his co-workers, friends and this difficult Ohana that complicated everything in his life to include Grace so neatly. He felt Steve sit across from him and still didn't move. The breeze off the beach did little to cool his skin or his temper.
"I know what you're all about." Eyes closed, Danny spoke softly. "We all do; even my ten-year old ... though I'm not sure she really understands its ramifications. Grace may think you are as invincible as you evidently believe you are, too. But I can't watch you take your own life so arbitrarily and as if it means nothing .. to no one."
"The suspect died on impact. You were three very short feet from the same fate and then in ICU for days on end. First you almost died and according to Ponch, you should have based on your injuries. There was a strong chance that you wouldn't be yourself again. Each step .. each long step .. was frightening." His voice dropped even lower as he peered up at Steve who was watching him closely. Danny took a deep breath and then announced the most startling of anything he had ever said.
"But you know that. Ponch told you all of that already .. about heart damage .. lung damage. You are once again, damned lucky to be sitting here whole and entirely intact." He was morbid in his seriousness and Steve had to accept every syllable as the truth.
"If you're a liability to yourself, then you're a liability to me .. and to the team." Steve understood that some of what he did put his team in a poor situation. Danny in particular, and Steve looked away to stare at the ocean before looking into his eyes.
"Are you asking for a change?" Steve was afraid to voice it; afraid of where this sudden confession was leading. But Danny barely shrugged before speaking a few minutes later.
"A change .. yes. But how or what? I have no idea." Danny sighed and shook his head before tapping the table aimlessly. His attempt at a smile failed completely. "What do we change, Steve? What can either one of us change if we are who we are?" By his expression, the conversation was over as he started to toy with his food. Quietly, Steve did the same and they finished in silence at nearly the same time.
After lunch, Danny retreated into his office to continue his investigation and research into the Jameson family. He kept his nose to the grindstone then for the bulk of the day, leaving Chin and Kono to handle bringing Steve up to speed on the Ito situation. Every so often, Danny would look up discreetly to study Steve's complexion or apparent energy level. Steve was doing the same to Danny and slowly escalating once more behind closed doors.
"Are you two back on track?" Chin asked hesitantly since each man's demeanor was still communicating a deep uncomfortable intensity.
"Almost, but not quite. We talked a little and I get it." Steve admitted before leaning back in his chair. Since he was in the office and in the present, Steve had begun to downplay Danny's earlier words of doom and gloom about life-alterng accidents. "He's being a bit over-sensitive about all of this, though."
"I must admit he's been wound up the longest I've ever seen him. But you know it's not necessarily about an apology." The comical quirk to Chin's eyebrows made Steve smile and he shook his head ruefully. He almost kept the smile as if in jest about his own dare-devil tendencies and the need to amend some of his tactics.
"What am I supposed to do, Chin? He even said it today." Rubbing at the healed spots on his chest, Steve's grin widened as if begging his friend to understand and blindly accept the inevitable. But Chin only cleared his throat loudly as a sign of disagreement. In response, the short smile faded from Steve's face to become more serious.
"Okay! Yeah, I know. I get that it's not about the apology. I promise that I'll be more careful." Chin sighed but had more to say since it was all deeper than even that.
"You almost got yourself killed, brah. You scared us all and it's more than being just careful. Unless we used a crowbar, he never left the hospital until Ramirez got you off the vent and declared you out of the woods. Then he threw himself into the job." Softly voiced, Chin was equally sensitive to the past accident and knew that Steve was continually missing the point. What he said next was technically public knowledge, but wholly unexpected. It provided Steve with the rest of the complex issue and Chin left him sitting at his desk with even more food for thought.
"He's lost two partners and as he so told me, he's not interested in losing a third. One of whom has become an important friend and special Uncle to his daughter." Chin's raw honesty truly made Steve think at that point and back up Danny's complaints during lunch. It left him distinctly more pensive and thoughtful about what he might be inadvertently doing to his team .. and his friends.
"We all work well together." He blurted that fact out just under his breath. "I have zero complaints about this partnership and team, Chin." Understanding was slow at first, but the epiphany came hard on its heels. It was Chin yet again who managed to put it to words, though.
"The team is strong because of our differences. However, Danny feels responsible for that partnership, Steve. For both the good .. and god forbid, the bad." Chin tapped his own head meaningfully.
"You're trained and hard-wired just a bit differently than a cop. What works on a mission and with other like-minded military men is not necessarily fully transferable here and in this reality. Danny knows that, brah. I'm just not sure he knows how to deal with the unpredictability of it when it sometimes goes as badly as it can." Chin smiled warmly before continuing to make one final point.
"He cares too much and he's absolutely right in that we all have gotten a bit too close. It's not bad .. it's just a bit more complicated and as a family, we can't take each other for granted. And despite your own popular belief, you my friend, are not invincible."
The last comment was for all of them and Steve sat back with a garbled sigh.
~ to be continued ~