A/N: Sorry for the delay! I am so sorry! I honest thought I would update really soon but it has been nearly 2 weeks! Ahh! Blame my teachers! Stupid homework, stupid school, stupid-

-CONVERSATION OF THE CHAPTER-

ME: Hello!

DIRK CRESSWELL: Hi.

ME: So you're a keeper right? On the Gryffindor Quidditch team?

DIRK: Yeah.

ME: Cool. What year are you in then?

DIRK: 5TH.

ME: Ah… O.W.L year. Must be stressful.

DIRK: Yeah it is.

ME: So Dirk, why are you wondering around the corridors this late at night?

DIRK: I'm a Prefect.

ME: Really?

DIRK: Don't act all surprised.

ME: Sorry. I just didn't expect you to be one. Prefects are just-

DIRK: I wouldn't finish that sentence or 10 points will be taken away from Gryffindor.

ME: No! Sorry! ON WITH THE STORY!

24

'Why are you pointing your wand at me and saying pear?'

The 4 of them jumped in shock.

The person talking…

Was the man James had talked to when he was looking for the owlery.

The one in the portrait.

No of them moved.

'I'm not stupid you know. Reveal yourself.'

James sheepishly tugged the cloak of them.

The man in the portrait raked his eyes over them, pausing on each of them for a second, and then drifting his eyes over to another one of them.

His eyes stopped on James.

'I know you boy.' He said accusingly.

'Yeah. We've met before.' James said.

'Hmm. Ah! I remember you now! James Potter, am I correct?' The man in the portrait said.

'Yeah. You helped me.' James replied.

Questioning looks came from his friends.

'Oh yes. Hopefully you won't need my help again.' The man in the portrait huffed.

'Yeah. Hopefully.' James muttered.

'Sorry, but I think I'm missing something. Who are you?' Sirius asked boldly, staring the man in the portrait down.

'We met when I need directions to the owlery. He showed me the way.' James answered, rather than the man in the portrait who Sirius had expected to answer.

'Oh. Well, I'm Remus Lupin, this is Peter Pettigrew and he's Sirius Black. It's very nice to meet you. Mr…?' Remus said formally, being his polite self and holding his hand out.

When he realised a moment later the man in the portrait couldn't shake his hand, he withdrew it awkwardly.

The man in the portrait stared down at Remus for a moment.

'I ain't telling you my name. It's for you to work out.' He said gruffly.

'Oh okay.' Remus said quickly.

Sirius snorted.

'Anyway,' the man in the portrait said quickly. 'Back on topic. Why were you pointing your wands at me and saying pear?'

'Well actually it was more like Peter pointed his wand at you and said pear.' Sirius said smartly.

The man in the portrait lips curled upwards.

James couldn't tell if it was a smile, smirk or sneer.

'Details, details. Answer my question boy.' The man in the portrait said calmly.

'Actually. I don't think I will thanks.' Sirius joked.

Remus slapped a hand over his mouth.

'He could help us.' Remus hissed quietly.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

'No need to be sarcastic.' The man in the portrait snarled.

It was now truly obvious that Sirius and the man in the portrait greatly disliked each other.

'We're looking for the kitchens. The Prewett twins, I don't know if you know them-'

The man in the portrait cut him off and surprised them all by starting the chuckle. 'I do.'

'Great. We asked them how to find the kitchens. They gave us a clue- well the word- pear.' James continued on.

'Ah. Searching for the kitchens, eh?' The man in the portrait said to himself.

'Good luck.' He grinned and began to walk away.

'Wait! Can you help us?' James asked.

'I thought I said before 'hopefully you won't need my help again.'?' The man in the portrait raised his eyebrows.

'Yeah, I know… but-' James said.

'Please.'

'But-'

'Merlin! Stop nagging. I'll help.' The man in the portrait, (who still had no name.) sighed.

'Yes!'

'Thanks!

'Cheers!'

Only Sirius stayed quiet.

'So where is it?' James asked eagerly.

The man in the portrait started laughing.

'You really think I'm just going to tell you where the kitchen is? When I won't even tell you my name? Sorry lads, but it ain't happening. I'm just giving you another clue.'

James sighed sadly.

Why can't somebody just tell them?

'Listen closely. The clue is: What am I?'

Without another word, the name in the portrait skipped away.

'What am I?' Peter echoed.

'A person?' Remus answered.

Sirius once again snorted.

'Bonkers if you ask me. A load of old codswallop.'

'Sirius be serious for once. No pun intended,' James added when Sirius opened his mouth to interrupt. He sadly closed it. 'What is he?'

'What is who?' they jumped and turned around.

Dirk Cresswell stood behind them.

'Err-' James mumbled.

'Just tell me. I may be a Prefect but I can keep secrets and have fun like you lot. I'm not all stuck up like some of them.' (A/N: No offence to all of the Prefects out there.)

Could they trust Dirk?

'Tell me. Or I will turn you in.' he said firmly.

'Fine. We're searching for the kitchens.' James cracked.

Dirk nodded his head approvingly.

'Ah right. And you need help. Who were you talking to?' he asked.

'This man in a portrait. He's quiet rude if you ask me.' Sirius said.

'I think I know who you're talking 'bout. Nice man if you ask me.' Dirk grinned.

Sirius seemed to disliking more and more people every day.

'The Prewett twins gave us a clue- pear and the man in the portrait's clue was 'what am I?'' Remus told Dirk.

'Hm. I don't think I'll give you another clue-'

Cheers from all of them. Even Sirius.

'-but I'm not exactly telling you where the kitchens are. Only helping sorry.'

Groans from all of them. Even Sirius.

'Right.' James said quietly.

Would it kill someone to just tell them?'

'Think about the man from the portrait's clue first. What is he?' Dirk asked them.

'A man?' Peter answered.

'A person?' Remus said.

'A horrible, mean, stupid little-'

James coughed purposely, cutting Sirius off.

'No. what is he? The man in the portrait?' Dirk said slowly.

'A portrait.' Remus gasped excitedly.

Dirk nodded. 'At least someone is smart around here.'

'Hey!'

'And the Prewett's clue was…?'

'Pear.' Peter supplied.

'Yes. Put it together and this is where I leave you. Good luck.' Dirk grinned and walked away.

'Pear… portrait…' Remus whispered.

'Maybe it's near a portrait! See I told you Remus! No one hides a secret passageway in a floor!' Sirius said in a: I told you so kind of voice.

'Sirius.' James shook his head.

'Sorry,' Sirius shrugged. 'I get moody when I'm hungry.'

That explains a lot.

'Portrait and pear both begin with p, what if it's to do with something beginning with p?' Peter asked.

James nodded.

Who knew Peter actually had a brain?

'Or… what if the pear is in the portrait?' Remus smiled.

'What?' Sirius asked.

'What about if the portrait was of a pear?' Remus explained differently.

'Who draws a picture of a pear?' Sirius asked doubtfully.

'We're still on the seventh floor, right James?' Remus said, discarding Sirius's comment.

'Yeah…' he asked.

Where was this going?

'Well where is the great hall?' Remus asked.

'On the ground floor.' Peter answered.

'So where would the kitchens be?'

'Near the Great Hall.' Sirius supplied and stared at Remus in awe.

'Or?' Remus asked.

'Under it.' James beamed.

'Let's go.' Sirius said and put the cloak back on them.

Now they had an idea on where to go and what they were looking for, they were more excited than ever and were moving quickly down the stairs.

By the time they reached the entrance hall near the Great Hall they were panting.

'Down these stairs.' Remus led them through some doors.

'The dungeons are that way. We want the other way.' Remus said smartly leading them away from the Slytherin's abode.

They walked quietly down the corridors, eyes trained on walls.

'Stop!' Peter shouted, holding his arm out to stop them from walking any further.

He pointed at a portrait.

They slowly turned towards it.

'It's not a pear though.' Sirius spoke up.

'Yeah, but there's a pear there.' Peter said.

James reached forwards to inspect it.

'Do you reckon this is it then?' he asked.

'Must be.' Remus sighed tiredly.

James could understand why, they must have been looking for hours.

'What do we do?' Peter said.

James shrugged.

'What about…' Sirius walked forwards and touched the pear with his wand.

It moved.

Or more like wiggled.

'Was it just me, or did everybody else just see that?' Sirius asked.

'I saw it to.' Remus said.

James and Peter nodded in agreement.

'Touch it again.' Peter suggested.

Sirius did so.

It did the same.

It wiggled… again.

'This is defiantly it.' Sirius muttered.

'Try doing touching it with your finger.' Remus said.

'Yeah okay. And what tickle it? It's a magical portrait Remus.' Sirius rolled his eyes.

'It's worth a shot.' James shrugged.

Sirius sighed and put his wand in his pocket and mockingly tickled the pear, a sour look on his face.

The pear laughed.

And the portrait swung open.

They had found the kitchens.

It had a high ceiling. It was gigantic.

5 tables, placed in the same positions of the Great Hall were all placed in the room. Golden goblets, plates and cutlery was set on top of each table, in the exact place they would be when 'magiced' or 'moved' ' to the Great Hall for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Glittering brass pots and pans littered the stone walls and a big fireplace was placed at the end on the room.

Other cooking equipment (things that looked like large boxes with buttons and knobs all over them) and storing places lined the walls in no particular order or way.

The one thing that surprised the boys in the room (though it really shouldn't of) was the large amount of house-elves running around the room.

One nearby noticed them and bounced forwards happily.

'What can I get you Sirs?' it asked excitedly.

'Get us something?' Sirius questioned, his eyes lighting up.

'Yes Sir! Anything! Toby will get anything you want Sirs!' The house elf- Toby squealed.

A large grin appeared on Sirius face.

James, Peter and Remus matched it.

'Well then can I have-' Sirius began to list off a variety of different types of foods and drinks (though they were mainly different types of desserts and sugary, unhealthy food).

Looks like Sirius won't be moody much longer.

This place was like heaven.

The smell of cakes drifted his way.

He eyes the plate as it was placed on a table.

The Gryffindor table.

Sirius headed straight towards it, James was right after him.

He placed the large slice of chocolate cake into his watering mouth.

It was delicious.

'Toby you don't happen to have any ice cream, do you?' Sirius asked hopefully.

'We do Sir! I will get some right away!' Toby hurried off.

'This place is great. This is great.' Sirius said through a mouth full of cake.

Secret places/passageways to find in Hogwarts: Kitchens, completed.