Ah! Sorry for the long delay! Had a strange past month. I apologize for slacking on my writing.
But here is Bella again. Most of you strongly dislike her right now…GOOD. Haha
Thanks to SunflowerFran3759 for her beta skills. Any mistakes are mine for deciding to add at the last minute! She's so patient with my error filled days.
Chapter 5- God in Your Eyes
Growing up I always knew that my family had money. I was a spoiled brat and never had to clean my room or worry that I wouldn't get what I wanted. I went to private schools in Midland, Texas and only shopped in fancy stores.
But it wasn't until my nanny decided to run an errand with me tagging along that it really hit me.
Her car wasn't new and was noisy as could be. She drove me into the Mexican and Black side of Odessa and I couldn't believe my eyes. People lived in broken down houses and worked in small little businesses. The kids wore baggy clothes and walked down the same streets where bums and hookers also walked.
That is when I truly realized that I was different, and that there were differences in the world. I swore I would never visit that side again.
That's how I currently feel with Masen driving me in his old truck. The seats are torn and there is dust all over his dashboard. His seatbelts smell like oil and make my neck itch. Also, there is no button for the window! I have to manually roll it down, because his AC barely blows any cool air in this hot Texan afternoon.
I turn to him while he sings along in a low voice to some country song on the radio. I want to cringe and fill the small cabin of his old truck with curse words, but I hold back.
The sun's rays are coming through the dirty window and lighting the small hairs of his strong arms and making it a little warmer.
"Oh, my god!" I screech when the old piece of metal rattles after we go over a speed bump.
He chuckles. "You all right?"
"Yes, you farmer with no manners!" I shout because he is possibly the most annoying man in the world.
"Well you're sittin' there callin' the Lord. I'm just making sure we don't need his assistance."
And he has a goddamn, smartass mouth.
"Well if you drove like a sane person and not like a fool, maybe I wouldn't be calling him! And why don't you get yourself a new truck? My Daddy pays you good money and you're driving this piece of crap."
"Don't be so hard on me, Ms. Bella," he says with humor in his voice. "Have a little more faith in old Betsy. We're almost there," he says
"Where exactly is 'there?'"
"Wal-Mart."
"What?!"
He laughs.
"Why you shoutin' again? You know, you have a loud voice. And you say I'm the farm boy with no manners."
"Ugh! That place is horrendous! And you don't have manners!"
"Well maybe the good Lord placed you in my way so you can teach me of these so called manners you seem to know so much about. And Wal-Mart is just a store. It might be a little out of tune, but they has some pretty cheap batteries that work just fine."
"I have money. Money is not an issue."
"I'm sure it ain't, now can ya' please sit back. Ya makin' me nervous."
I huff and decide to stop arguing with the animal and just stare out my window instead. I can't believe I agreed to ride with a complete stranger, especially this one.
I turn and look at him again.
His hair is in need of a good haircut; its wild and a mess on top of his head. He looks as though he hasn't shaved in days and the ink on his skin that peeks out of his sleeve every time he lifts his arm, is a little intimidating.
"Do I got somethin' on my face?" He asks.
I quickly jump and return to look out the window.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
~TL~
There are children everywhere, running around and crying! Then there are the adults wearing sweats and sandals. These people should be ashamed to be out in public dressed the way they dress.
Ashamed!
"You never been to Wal-Mart?" Masen asks me. He's currently looking over the batteries they have on display. I don't know why he just can't pick one so we can leave.
"I don't think so. If I have ever been here, I sure as hell don't remember, and thank God for that." A man with tattoos up to his neck and wearing a blue Wal-Mart vest starts approaching us. I screech and run behind Masen who again only chuckles at my misery.
"Can I help you, man?" He asks.
Masen goes on and on about batteries and I'm not really paying attention since I don't understand anything. Instead I stare at the couple sitting in the waiting area of the mechanic shop.
He works for Daddy, I can tell because of his clothing. He's wearing a gray uniform with black oil stains like the ones on his hands. He holds onto his girlfriend's hand while gently rubbing circles on her skin.
"So you gonna let me go?" Masen's voice pulls me out of my musings.
I realize that I'm holding onto his dirty t-shirt and automatically let go.
I clear my throat and hope he forgets that I was even touching him. "Are we done?" I ask firmly.
"Yes, ma'am. I got ya the cheapest and best battery."
I ignore his blabber and head over to the cashier. I pay and wait for Masen to tell me what's next.
"Dave will bring your husband the battery," she tells me. I hear Masen chuckle behind me.
"Oh, no, we are not together!" I say a little louder than I should.
She furrows her eyebrows. "All right, geez," she mutters.
~RN~
Masen's arm does this weird thing when he flexes it as he puts in my new battery, and I can't help but stare at it. I sigh in annoyance but the thing is, I'm annoyed with myself.
Masen should repulse me.
He's dirty and sweaty and is an ignorant fool!
Yet, here I am studying every line, vein, wrinkle, and hair on him. There is definitely something wrong with me. I might have to tell the Indian shrink about this. Maybe my mind is just looking for a distraction.
"All done," he finally says, and wipes his hands on his jeans. "Why don't ya try and turn it on."
I turn the key and the car rumbles with life. He hollers and claps. He walks over to my window with a pearly white grin and a sparkle in those green eyes of his that seem to shine brighter because of his reddened skin. He spends too much time under the sun.
"You have a good evening, ma'am." He pulls his torn baseball cap down on his head in a sign of his farewell and starts walking away.
"Wait!" I shout and he quickly turns around. "Aren't you going to charge me for the labor?"
He chuckles and shakes his head. "No, ma'am."
"But that's insane. You gave me a ride and everything. I can pay you."
"That's not the point. I don't charge for acts of kindness. I would like to think you would do the same for someone in trouble," he says, as he gets into his truck and drives away.
"I'm not sure I would," I mutter to myself.
~RN~
"The house smells nice," I tell my mother as she shows her friend Lucy the new dresses she purchased today.
"Yeah, it's the new cleaning lady. She brought her own cleaning supplies, some Mexican stuff. You know how those ladies know their cleaning supplies"
"What happened to Ana?"
"She was getting old, sweetie, so I hired Julia," she says and opens yet another shopping bag. "She does a good job, but we have to be careful."
"Why is that?"
"Honey, I'm sure she's an illegal. She might steal something."
I laugh at my mother. "I'm sure that doesn't mean she's going to steal." I stop laughing when I realize my mother is serious. She goes on to talk about the dangers of immigration and how our country is being ruined for another ten minutes. Then Lucy adds her own views and I can't help but notice the prejudice and disdain in their voices. After a while I realize I'm not even listening to them anymore and excuse myself.
I lie in my bed thinking, and for the first time it isn't about the same old nightmare.
But considering who I'm thinking about I'm not sure if it's any better.
"Damn green-eyed redneck," I mutter.
~RN~
It's a nice Saturday morning and Alice invited me to have lunch with her in Midland, Texas. Its only thirty minutes away from Odessa. It's a little bigger than our small town and there's more to do.
Mother loves coming over here. She says this is where we belong, not redneck Odessa. My friends Tanya and Lauren love shopping here and Alice loves the restaurant options, but hates the people.
"People are so snotty here," she says after the rude hostess shows us our table. "They think because we're a blue collar town that they are better than us. Well I'm proud of being from that small town and having hard working parents," she says a little louder than she should.
After my initial embarrassment, I smile at Alice. She's always been an advocate of some kind. She's always defending people from what she thinks is wrong even if it doesn't concern her. I wish I was as brave.
"They're lucky I like their restaurants."
"Oh, Alice," I say. "You never did tell me what your parents do for a living."
"My daddy worked in the oilfield, typical I know, but he's retired now, and my mother still works as a school teacher. He was a conservative nut who fell in love with the crazy hippie from Austin. They argue most of the time, but they love the hell out of each other. You should see the way they look at each other sometimes. It almost makes me gag, but I want that someday you know."
"What are you going to order?" I ask her, trying to change the subject. But her eyes widen when she sees someone behind me.
"Hell, there is Jasper Whitlock. I didn't tell you this but I kinda made out with him on Thursday."
"What?!"
"Hush! We were both drunk, and after he walked off like he had seen the devil himself. He's scared of me. He thinks I'm some kind of liberal Satan worshipper, but I know he likes me. It's just his old way of thinking that ruins it, and it sucks because he's a cutie. Just look at those blonde curls!"
I roll my eyes.
"What are you going to do about it?" I ask, amused at how her eyes won't stop looking in his direction.
"Jasper!"
Jesus.
"Dear God! I didn't mean for you to shout, Al!"
"Oh, live a little, rich girl."
"I hate you!"
"Jasper, why don't you and your friend sit with us?"
I turn around to see who this friend is and I almost die.
There, standing next to Jasper, in a pair of clean jeans, a plain blue t-shirt and holding that stupid, raggedy, baseball cap in his right hand, is Edward Masen. He's freshly shaven and his hair doesn't look sweaty and dirty like it does at the oilrig. It looks soft and lighter.
I realize I haven't taken a breath since I spotted him, and I turn back to Alice so he won't catch me almost passing out.
"Uh," Jasper manages to say. "I think we're about to get a table of our own, Ms. Brandon."
"Why take up another table when you can sit with Bella and me? Come on now, boys, we don't bite," Alice says, and I have to give it to her. She sure knows how to get what she wants because now Jasper and Masen are walking towards us. "Jasper, sit next to me and…"
"Edward," Masen answers.
"Edward, you sit next to Bella," Alice directs.
I want to jump across the table and choke my lovely pixie friend, but as soon as Masen sits next to me I settle down.
He smells nice.
He smells like body soap, laundry detergent and man.
"Ms. Bella, how are you this fine day?" he asks.
"Fine," I mutter into my water cup.
Jasper looks a little nervous, but as soon as Alice starts asking him questions about his day, he loosens up and actually laughs with her. They have a lot in common and the way they move around each other almost seems to be in rhythm.
I, on the other hand, try to ignore Masen.
I hold back a giggle when he asks Jasper and Alice why there are cloth napkins and why he has water in a wine glass if he didn't ask for it.
But when I look over at Alice I feel a guilt I didn't know I had in me. She looks at him softly, and with a smile on her lips explains to him how fancy restaurants work.
Masen chuckles. "Well I feel like I gotta apologize to the dishwasher," he says.
"I'll apologize with you! Where are you from, Edward?" Alice asks.
"I'm from a small town in East Texas. I grew up on a farm with my Ma and Pa. Went to church every Sunday and worked hard since I was nine. Now I'm drinking water from a fancy glass. Typical," Masen says, while Alice and Jasper chuckle at his joke.
Our food arrives and I'm the last one to start eating. I can't stop side eyeing Masen.
He turns and catches me staring. I quickly turn my attention to my plate.
"You all right there?" Masen asks me.
"Yes," I mutter and try to ignore him while cutting my chicken.
"My mama used to say, 'either you eat your food or the insects will.' You best eat, Ms. Bella."
Alice giggles and not even my glare stops her.
"Hey, Mase, why don't you tell these gals about your horse story? That shit makes me laugh so much," Jasper says, and suddenly all eyes are on Masen who wipes his hands on his jeans.
He goes on and tells the story of how a horse kicked him in the chest when he was young, but the story of how that happened make Alice and Jasper crack up in laughter.
I hide my grin behind a napkin and try really hard so that he can't hear my giggles.
I stare at his green eyes and his bright smile as he animatedly moves his hands to explain his crazy story.
"So there I was, covered in mud and horseshit," he says. "I didn't know if to cry or laugh. But I didn't have time to decide, because my dad showed up." He stays quietly and continues eating his steak.
"Well that was an interesting story," I mutter.
He chuckles and places his dirty napkin on the table. "You got any horseshit stories, Ms. Bella?"
Alice laughs.
She's laughing a little too much. I thought she was on my side.
"I knew I was right, Masen. You have no manners."
He smirks. "There ain't no need for them anyway. Life is too short."
~RN~
I lean against Alice's car as she giggles and flirts with Jasper. She's trying to get his number. She's gonna make him fall madly in love with her and convert him to her liberal views.
I roll my eyes and pretend to read something on my phone while Masen also waits for Jasper with his hands in his jeans and his old, raggedy baseball cap over his stupid head.
I pretend not to notice him as he moves to stand next to me. He leans against Alice's car and clears his throat.
"You from around here?" He asks.
"My family is from Arizona. We all moved here when I was two."
"How long do you plan on workin' at your father's oilrig? I bet you're a smart young woman. You could probably find a better job."
"I don't know. However long it takes me to get bored from working there. How do you know I'm smart? What if I'm an idiot?"
He looks down at me with a smile on his lips. "I bet you went to fancy schools and shit."
I glare up at him. "You bet your Wal-Mart boxers I did."
He laughs so loudly some people stare at us and I can't help but laugh too.
"You got a pretty smile," he says and I don't respond. I quickly wipe said smile off my face and return my attention to my phone. "I know what it feels like, you know?"
I huff. "What are you talking about?"
"Livin' through blue days. It feels like a cloud hovers over your mind hidin' it from any sunshine and makes you feel like there is no tomorrow. You can't live or breathe like you're supposed to, 'cause it hurts. It feels like it's always gonna be this way. But you know it ain't if you really think about it."
At this point my eyes are staring down his own and I can't find it in me to move, even though tears are pooling and threatening to fall.
"You have no clue how I feel!" I angrily whisper at him.
"Why are you angry at me? Why are you angry at everyone? It don't do you no good. Trust me, I used to be angry too."
"Go to hell, you damn redneck. Don't pretend like you know me or that you and me are alike, because you have to be fucking stupid to even think that. You and I are nothing alike."
He doesn't say anything else, just moves his stupid cap down in sign of farewell and walks away.
My heart races in my chest and it's almost as if my blood is boiling in my veins.
It's the first time in months that I feel a rumble in my soul.
~RN~
It's payday again.
Every time the office door opens, I snap my head up to see who it is, but huff when it's just another worker. I rudely hand them their check and ignore their existence after.
It's almost five o'clock and Masen hasn't picked up his check. I haven't seen him since last weekend.
I hand out a few more checks before he finally appears. Uniform off and standing only in his dirty jeans and t-shirt.
Another worker is before him, waiting for his check.
"Name?" I ask.
"Eleazar," he says.
"I'm sorry?"
"Eleazar."
He starts to spell it for me, but he doesn't have to. I already know, but this is the game I play.
"You know what his name is," Masen says.
I glare at him, but he ignores me.
"How are you, Eli? How's the wife?" Masen asks him.
Eli turns to his friend and smiles. "Pissed at something, but aren't they all?"
Both men chuckle.
"Are you gonna be able to make it my sister's quinceñera? I promise you'll have fun, gringo."
Masen laughs. "Sure thing, bro." They go on talking for a few minutes about their next job and how Masen is looking for a better apartment, but everything in the city is already taken.
I try to interrupt but I can't do it. The way Masen laughs, speaks and encourages his friend has me too entertained. I've never met someone like him. No matter who he is talking to, he always seems interested and genuinely concerned or caring. It's like he doesn't go hiding who he is or what he feels. He puts himself out there so people can see.
So brave.
So daring.
I'm jealous.
"Eli," I shout. "Here is your paycheck." Both men stay quiet for a moment before he steps forward and takes it.
"I thought you didn't know my name," Eli says.
"Do you need anything else?" I ask loudly.
"No ma'am." He walks off after saying his goodbyes to his friend.
"Good afternoon," Masen says. There are smudges of black oil on his face, but somehow it makes him look perfect.
Too perfect.
"I don't know what's so perfect about it. What do you want?"
He chuckles. "Time has made you bold, Ms. Swan. I've never met such a sweet face as yourself with such a tough exterior."
"How do you know it's only on the outside? I may be mean as the devil himself on the inside."
He shakes his head. "No, ma'am. Don't compare yourself with a creature with no soul or love. You have may have fooled me when I first met you, but…"
"Did I look like the devil?"
"Not at all. The complete opposite. You look so much like an angel that I thought you were one."
"Don't flirt with me on the job. Do you want to get fired?"
He laughs. The melody of his husky laughter making me fight a smile of my own. "I ain't flirtin,' I'm innocent of that accusation."
"Well why not? I'm not pretty enough or something, Masen?" I tease.
"You are. You're beautiful. You're as beautiful as the Texas morning sky on a spring day and a deep breath in a garden full of flowers. But what I was tryin' to say is that when I first met you I was fooled to thinking you was an angel. You know an angel has no sufferin' or scars. They're perfect beings. But you're not Ms. Bella. No matter how beautiful you are, you have scars in your heart and soul. That makes you human and I apologize for not respecting that. When I see the hurt in your eyes when you're up and raddled, shoutin' at someone or actin' like you hate even the air I breathe, I can still see God in your eyes. That's why I'm here to tell you that you'll be all right. You ain't alone in this world. Even if the pain makes you feel it, don't be fooled."
I angrily wipe at the tears on my cheeks. "Well, Masen, you have a knack for making people cry that's for sure. But I don't know what compels you to talk to me or 'help' me. We're not friends…not even acquaintances. We will never be any of that. So stop worrying about me, a complete stranger to you and tell me what I can do for you so you can get the hell out of here."
He smiles and shakes his head. "I need my paycheck, ma'am. Also, I need to talk to Carlisle."
"Name?"
He sighs. "Edward Masen."
I hand him his check and tell him to wait.
I call Carlisle and he tells me to hold on as he's in a late meeting. Edward just nods and silently waits. I can feel him staring at me at times, but I ignore him.
The door opens and in come my friends Lauren and Tanya.
I smile and walk over to them for hugs and outfit compliments. "What the hell are you girls doing here? I thought you hated coming to the oilrigs?"
"Of course we do," Lauren answers. "But we came to talk to you about your 21st birthday!"
I gasp. I didn't even realize my birthday was coming up.
"Oh my God, Bells, don't tell us you forgot!"
I don't answer.
"It's okay," Tanya says giggling. "Because we're already planning your big party for this Saturday."
I sigh. "I'm not up for parties," I say.
"You have to. You have no choice."
I turn over to Masen who is staring at his hands in his lap, but I know he's listening.
"You're right, but I also want to do something else Saturday night."
"Oh, do tell!" Lauren squeals.
"I want to go to Hershel's Saloon."
"What? That's the white trash bar, right?"
I nod.
"What the hell? We're not going there. Imagine how it looks and smells."
"Yuck."
"It's probably dangerous."
"I don't care. I want to go there. I want to do something dangerous for once in my life."
Both girls look at each other and shrug.
"Edward?" Carlisle calls. I can't even look at him in the face. I haven't been able to since Peter's funeral. I'm afraid he'll end up breaking my heart even further.
Masen gets up and walks towards him, but not before throwing me a worried glance.
I hope he finally realizes that I don't need his saving.
I don't need anything.
I'm no damsel in distress.
That damn Bella!
Leave some thoughts in the review box and I will appreciate ya for life!
Some have asked if this story takes place in the past, because of some of things said or expressed.
No, its modern day. It's just to show you how some ignorant beliefs and racism haven't died.