6

A Charming Interlude

The mouthwatering smell of pepperoni and cheese pizza filled the suite when Bae returned with three boxes from Gino Rizzo's Pizzeria. He shut the door with his foot and said, "Okay, I have one with extra cheese, one pepperoni, and one that's half cheese and half sausage, peppers, and onions. Oh, and they gave me some garlic bread too and two bottles of Coke."

"It smells incredible!" Snow said, sniffing the air.

"And just wait till you taste it," Bae said, opening a box. "Damn," he muttered. "Emma, Regina, and Henry are asleep, and by the time they wake up this'll be cold."

"Don't worry, Bae," Rumple called. "I can keep it hot for them." He tapped his cufflinks together and gestured. "Done."

"Thanks, Papa," Bae called, and grabbed plates out of the cabinet and set them down next to the plastic cups.

"Wow, you're like Mr. Microwave!" David said.

Snow collapsed onto the couch, laughing hysterically. "David, oh my God!"

Gold gave Charming a sharp Look. "Thanks a lot."

"What? I meant it as a compliment," Charming protested.

"Comparing me to a kitchen appliance?" Gold snorted.

"It could have been worse," Belle chuckled. "He could have compared you to a blender."

Gold raised an eyebrow. "How's that, dearie?"

"You know, because you can make my head spin around," she teased.

"Just your head?"

"Among other things," Belle said with a saucy wink.

"I compared Snow to a vacuum once," Charming remarked.

"A vacuum?" Belle repeated, puzzled.

"Yeah, because she can really suck stuff up. . .umm . . ."

"Hey! There's kids over here," Bae joked, snickering.

"Who're asleep," David reminded him.

"Little pitchers have big ears, Nolan," Rumple reminded him. "Or didn't I tell you what your baby girl said while we were driving to the airport when somebody cut me off?"

David blushed. "Oh, God. Tell me she didn't . . ."

"Didn't what?" Snow asked.

"She certainly did," Belle said. "I thought Rumple was going to asphyxiate . . . from holding his breath trying not to laugh."

"What did she say?" Snow wanted to know.

"Oh, nothing, dearie," Rumple remarked. "She just told me the right way to . . . address someone when they cut you off and you almost hit them."

"David!" Snow scolded.

"What? You don't even know what she said!"

"I can imagine!" his wife shook her head.

"It wasn't half as bad as what you said that time a spider ran across your foot," Charming pointed out. "I had to cover Regina's ears."

"I hate spiders. They're so disgusting."

"I don't really like them either," Belle admitted.

"You can say that again," her husband sniggered. "She chased one around the front room in my castle once with a broom, screaming, 'take that, you ugly old bastard!' I thought her father had come to visit or something."

"Gee, I wonder why," Bae said. "Not!" He quickly grabbed a slice of pepperoni and one with cheese and poured himself a glass of Coke and sat down on the recliner. Then he bit into a piece with relish. "Mmm . . . God, there's nothing like New York pizza."

Rumple took his own slices of pepperoni and went to sit back on the couch. "You know, Bae . . . this is incredibly good," he said after eating some.

"I told you so," his son said.

"Yeah, it's all crispy and gooey and I'm probably going to gain ten pounds and need a fork lift to get me on the airplane after this vacation's over, but mmm . . . I love it!" Snow said, enraptured.

"Now I know where Emma gets it from," Bae remarked cheekily, eating his second piece.

"Gets what from?" Charming queried.

"This . . . obsession with her weight," Bae answered.

"I'm not obsessed, Baelfire. Just . . . concerned," Snow objected.

"You shouldn't be, honey," David said, eating his own slice. "Because I'll love you even when you're fat and frumpy and need two canes to get up and down the stairs."

Snow rolled her eyes. "Real nice, David!"

"What? What'd I say?"

"It's a girl thing, you wouldn't understand," Belle said.

"Do you understand it?" David asked Bae and Rumple.

Bae shrugged.

"Not telling, dearie," Rumple answered.

"Great! Some brother you are!" Charming muttered.

Bae started laughing and nearly snorted Coke out of his nose. Then he helped himself to a slice of sausage, pepper, and onion.

"I'm not much of a pizza fanatic, but this is really good," Belle said. "And so's this garlic bread. I wonder if Alice can duplicate it?"

"Alice can cook anything," Emma remarked, coming into the room.

"Hey, it's sleeping beauty!" Bae said, blowing her a kiss.

"The smell woke me," Emma admitted, yawning. She came over by her husband and promptly bit off a piece of his pizza.

"Hey! Get your own!"

"Why?" she asked cheekily. "Don't you know how to share?"

"There's almost a whole pie over there," he pointed to the table.

"You were right, sweetie," Emma said then. "It's out of this world."

"Want another bite?" Bae asked.

"Newlyweds!" Rumple rolled his eyes.

"Look who's talking," Bae called. "You've been married, what—three months longer than us?"

"What's that got to do with anything?" his father asked.

"Just saying," his son said, giving Rumple an impudent smirk. Then he turned to Emma, who was devouring his slice. "Here, wild swan. You eat this one and I'll get another one."

"I want to try the cheese one," she said. "All of a sudden, I feel like I could eat an entire pig or something. Why?"

"Because casting spells like you did today burns an incredible amount of energy," Rumple answered. "And you need to replenish it."

"You're serious?"

"Of course, dearie."

Emma brightened. "That's awesome, Rumple! Now I don't have to kill myself exercising. I can just cast spells!"

"Darn! Now I wish I had magic," Snow pouted, and everyone laughed.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Two hours later, all the kids were awake and rhapsodizing over the pizza.

"This is like . . . the best pizza ever!" Alina cried.

"Mom, Dad was so right!" Henry said, eating his second slice of cheese pizza. "This pizza's like . . . the most amazing thing! I want to eat it every day."

"Yeah, that's my boy!" Bae cheered.

Emma groaned. "Henry, don't you think you'll get sick of it?"

"No way, Mom! I think I want to go to college here," her son said, giving her a sweet smile.

"Me too!" Regina said, stuffing some cheese she'd taken off her slice into her mouth.

"You want to move all the way over here to New York?" Snow said, pretending to be dismayed. "But won't you miss Mommy and Daddy?"

Regina shrugged. "Maybe. I'd miss Unca Rumple n' Auntie Belle."

"All right. What did you do, Gold? Brainwash her?" Charming asked.

"Nothing," Gold protested. Then he gently caught Regina's hand before she left a red handprint on his shirt. "Hold it, imp! Let me wipe your hand before you get sauce on my silk shirt." He took a napkin and cleaned the toddler's hand before allowing her to climb in his lap.

She played with his tie for a bit before saying, "Unca Rumple, is the T-Rex dead? Didja kill it?"

"Well, yes . . . in a way. Speaking of that . . ." he gestured to Snow and David.

"Regina, can you tell Mommy where you got that wand?" Snow asked, looking her daughter in the eye.

"Umm . . . it was on a table," the little girl said softly.

"On a table where? In the convent?" David asked, kneeling down in front of her.

"Uh huh. I was 'tending I was a fairy godmother . . . like in Sleeping Beauty," Regina told him. "An' they gots wands . . . so I needed it. An' I put it in my pocket 'cause Nova said it was time to go home an' I wasn't finished playing yet."

"Regina, you shouldn't ever take something that doesn't belong to you," David began, a bit sternly.

"Especially something like a wand," Snow added. "Magic wands aren't toys. You could hurt yourself or someone else by playing around with a wand like that."

"Look what happened when you . . . uh . . . made that T-rex come alive," Charming said.

"Unca Rumple kicked its butt!" the little girl pointed out.

"Uncle Rumple almost got chewed up and spit out, dearie," Rumple interjected. "That's not a good thing."

Regina twisted around to look up at him. He was frowning. "It hurt you?"

He nodded.

"I had to go heal him," Alina put in.

Regina looked upset. "I sorry."

"You don't play with wands, young lady. Not ever," David stressed.

"Or else you'll be in big trouble," Snow said gravely. "A lot of people could have gotten hurt, Regina, from you making that T-Rex . . . reanimate itself. That was wrong of you to take the wand from the convent. I'm sure one of the . . . fairies is crying because she can't find it."

"I'll give it back, Mommy!" the little girl cried, looking woebegone.

"That's right, you will," Charming agreed. "And you'll tell her you're very sorry for touching it and you'll never do it again, right?"

"Uh huh."

"And because you were so naughty, you're going to stand in the corner for five minutes and think about what you did," Snow told her firmly.

Regina shook her head. "No! No time out!" She turned and clung to Rumple, grabbing handfuls of his jacket. "Unca Rumple, help!"

David frowned. "Regina Nolan . . ."

Rumple sighed. Then he gently removed the little girl's fingers from his suit and turned her about, sitting her up on his knee. "Hey, little imp! Listen to me," he put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up so she was looking at him. "I'll save you from any kind of monster or goblin or creature of darkness, but I can't help you if you've been naughty and you're in trouble with Mommy and Daddy."

"Why?"

"Because they're your parents, Regina, and what they say goes. Understand?"

Her face crumpled. "But . . . Unca Rumple . . .!"

He shook his head. "No buts, Regina. You touched what didn't belong to you and now you're in trouble for it." He picked her up and handed her to Snow.

Snow took her recalcitrant daughter and carried her into the bedroom. "You also ran away from Mommy when you know to stay by me," she said. "And you know what that gets you."

Regina started crying. "No-o! I sorry!"

"Good, you ought to be," Snow said sternly. She set her jaw, then put her daughter across her lap and gave her two firm swats. "That's for running off. Never do that again, understand?"

Regina bawled. "Sorry!"

"And five minutes in the corner," Snow added, setting her down facing the wall.

Regina cried and squirmed, but Snow made sure she didn't try and leave the corner by standing right behind her. The unhappy child sobbed loudly, putting a hand on her slightly sore bottom. "I want Daddy!"

"Daddy's not happy with you either right now," Snow told her. "Or Uncle Rumple. We're all very disappointed in you, young lady."

That brought forth a round of fresh howls from the little minx, but it didn't get her out of the corner any sooner.

Finally, it was over, and Snow hugged her and told her she was forgiven. "Now remember this, Regina, and you won't get in trouble, okay?"

"Okay," she sniffled, and Snow gently dried her tears with a tissue.

When Snow emerged from the bedroom with a contrite Regina, the toddler ran to David and hugged him. "Mommy spanked me," she sniffled.

"I know. Because you ran off and almost got lost," David said, cuddling her.

"I sorry."

"Then I forgive you," he murmured and patted her back.

When he released her, he expected her to run over to Rumple, who was starting to fall asleep on the couch, as magic's price finally caught up with him.

Regina did go up to him, but she scowled at him. "You're mean!"

The pawnbroker blinked sleepily. "Huh? What was that, dearie?"

"I is mad at you, Unca Rumple."

"At me? What for?"

"Cause," she said, glaring at him.

Rumple, who knew perfectly well why she was angry with him, yawned and said, "Okay, be that way." Then he closed his eyes.

Pouting, she stomped away from him.

Emma exchanged an amused glance with Bae. "Looks like he's in the doghouse."

Her husband snickered. "Yeah, for about five minutes. Wait and see."

Regina ran over to where Alina and Henry were playing on their tablets and said, "Hey! Wanna go see the game room?"

Henry set down his Nook. "You want to go to the arcade?"

Regina nodded.

"You want to, Alina?"

"Sure! We can play Dance Magic," she said. "Mama, you want to come with us?"

Belle was curled up on the couch next to Rumple. "Maybe later, sweetie. I'm kind of tired."

Henry looked over at Bae and Emma. "Mom?"

"I'm still kind of beat, kid," Emma said.

"I'll come," Bae said.

"I will too," Snow said.

"So will I," David said.

So the Charmings, Bae, Alina, Henry, and Regina all rode the elevator downstairs to where the arcade was.

Henry immediately challenged Bae to play Nascar, and the two were racing against each other for about twenty minutes until they both crashed. Alina played Ms. Pacman with Regina until they ran out of tokens and Alina went to get more from the machine, feeding it a twenty.

Once it had given her a bunch of tokens, Alina came back to where Regina was standing, eying the Dance Magic game. "Want to play this, Regina?"

"How?" the little girl asked.

"You have to follow what the box up there tells you to do, and dance to the music," Alina said. "Here, I'll show you." She fed two tokens into the black box and the floor in front of the machine lit up with colored circles.

Alina went and stood in the middle of them, putting her feet on the two white circles. Music began to play, a fast disco beat, and then the monitor flashed a pattern of blue circle, red circle, and green circle, then back to a red circle.

Alina began to dance, her feet touching the circles in the correct pattern in time to the music.

She danced up through level ten, easily keeping up to the whirling beat of the music, her ponytail flying behind her.

Regina squealed and clapped her hands. "Go, Alina!"

Finally, Alina jumped onto the last circle, a purple one, and the music stopped, as the machine had run out of tokens.

"Want to try, Regina?" Alina asked.

"Uh huh."

"I'll put it on the easy level," she said, and programmed the machine. "Now you jump on the colored circle on the screen. You know your colors, right?"

"Yes!"

"Okay! Ready?" Alina pressed "Go".

Regina began to jump around on the circles, laughing like crazy.

David and Snow came to see what was going on, and started clapping.

"Hey, she's not bad for a three year old," David said, watching as the toddler jumped to the correct circle every time it flashed.

"That looks like fun," Snow exclaimed.

"It is," Alina said. "You can even have dance competitions with your friends. Grace and I always play this with Henry."

"And they always win," Henry said, grinning.

Just then the music stopped and Regina looked up at her parents and said, "I won!"

"You sure did, princess!" David clapped for her.

Alina looked over at her brother. "Think you can beat me, Bae?"

Bae smirked. "What? You think I can't dance, little sister?"

"I don't know. Can you?" her brown eyes glinted in challenge.

"Let's find out," he said, and went to stand on one side of the machine. "Set it up, Henry."

Henry put more tokens in the machine and set it to competition, two people, and medium level of difficulty.

The floor lit up and the machine began rapping out tunes, like Britney Spears, Aerosmith, Kelly Clarkson, and several others.

As the circles blinked, Bae and Alina twirled and jumped and leaped, faster and faster.

"Whoa! You're really good, Dad!" Henry gasped, watching as Bae twisted around and touched a glowing yellow circle behind him.

"Go, Alina!" Regina cheered, jumping up and down as the little sorceress spun around and lunged for a red circle with one hand and put her left foot back on a green circle then switched feet and spun around.

"She's really good," Snow said.

"C'mon, Bae! You gonna let an eleven-year-old kick your butt?" Charming called.

"Not if I can help it, buddy," Bae called, spinning about and touching two different circles in a minute.

Ten minutes later, the two were still dancing, and their score was tied.

Panting, Bae looked over at Alina. "You want to go another round, minx?"

She grinned at him. "You're not bad, Bae." Then she looked over at Snow. "Want to try, Snow?"

Snow looked at David. "Once upon a time, I used to be a pretty good dancer."

"That was a long time ago," her husband reminded her.

"What are you saying? That I've forgotten how?" she demanded.

"No, just . . . this isn't like the dancing you're used to," David pointed out.

Snow put her hands on her hips. "You think I can't dance, don't you?"

"Mary Margaret . . ."

"Can you, David?"

"You want to challenge me?" He pointed a thumb at his chest.

"Yeah, hotshot."

Alina looked at her brother. "This ought to be good!"

Bae nodded. Then he stepped off the floor and said, "Good luck, buddy."

Henry gaped at his grandparents. "Oh my God! You're really going to do this?"

"Set it up, tiger," Bae urged. "Let's see what they've got."

Henry went and took the handful of tokens Alina gave him and put them into the machine. Then he pressed various buttons. "Okay. You ready?" He stepped back.

"Let's do it!" Charming cried.

The music began to play and the floor lit up.

Snow began to dance, a little hesitantly at first, then she became more relaxed and started getting into it, leaping and stomping all over the board. "Hey, David! Beat this!"

She spun, touching two circles one after the other and danced up and back like a dervish.

Charming matched her and the two danced in tandem for a few minutes.

Then the machine stepped up the level, and the pattern became more difficult and faster than before.

"Go, Mary Margaret!" Alina cheered.

"Yay, Daddy!" Regina clapped.

Henry didn't know who he wanted to win, so he settled for clapping for both of them and saying to Bae, "Where'd they learn how to do hip hop?"

"I don't think they did, tiger. They're just following the patterns," Bae said. "Keep it up, David!"

As the music shifted again, Snow turned to her husband. "Hey, hotshot! Having fun?"

"You bet! And I'm winning!" he pointed at the board.

"Not for long, baby cakes!" Snow giggled, and stepped up her routine.

Finally both of them were panting and laughing like hyenas. Snow had won by a slim margin and she leaned on David and said, "Oh! That was so much fun! I'd do it again but my legs feel like Jell-O."

"You can challenge Bae tomorrow," David said, and caught her in his arms and kissed her.

Henry rolled his eyes. "Oh, boy. Here they go again. It's like watching Flashdance."

"Henry, wanna race to the elevator?" Regina crowed.

"Sure. Okay, ready, set, go!"

He generously allowed the toddler a head start before he started running, and he didn't run very hard, letting the little girl touch the door of the green elevator before he did.

"Yes! I won!" she yelled.

"You're quicker than lightning," Henry laughed, picking her up and twirling around with her. "C'mon, let's go back upstairs and tell Emma and Auntie Belle and Uncle Rumple what we just saw."

When they got back to the suite, they found the rest of their family snoozing happily.

Henry set Regina down and went to get something to drink, pouring himself some Coke.

Meanwhile, Regina went and crawled up on the couch and into Belle's lap, crooning, "Wake up, Auntie Belle!"

Belle's eyes fluttered open. "Hey, Regina. Back already?"

"Uh huh! Guess what? Bae an' Alina danced together an' so did Mommy an' Daddy!"

"That's great, sweetie!" Belle smiled at the excited child and kissed her cheek. "Now go wake up Uncle Rumple!"

Regina crawled over to him, climbing into his lap and calling, "Unca Rumple! Open you eyes!"

Rumple kept right on sleeping.

Regina patted his face. "Unca Rumple!"

He turned his face away.

"Hey! You gotta wake up now!" she ordered imperiously.

Rumple opened his eyes. "What for, Miss Big Mouth Bossypants?" he asked.

"Cause I gots to tell you something," Regina said.

"I already know you're mad at me," he said, tweaking her nose.

"Nuh uh. Not anymore!" she cried. "Lissen! Mommy n' Daddy played the Dance Magic game an' Mommy won!"

"That's great, dearie. Mind if I go back to sleep?" Rumple asked.

"I ain't done yet!" she told him. "An' tomorrow, Mommy's gonna dance against you, Unca Rumple!"

"Oh, no, little imp!" Rumple shook his head. "I do magic, not dance competitions. Go ask your big sister."

"Please!"

"No. Ask Emma."

"Please?"

"You want me to hurt my leg again?"

"No. I wanna see you beat Mommy."

Henry started giggling. "Regina, Grandpa's old, he couldn't do that!"

Rumple looked over at his smug grandson. "Excuse me? Did you just call me old?"

"Uh . . . yeah."

"I'll show you old, you impudent whelp!" Rumple mock-growled. He set Regina down and stealthily got to his feet.

Henry had turned away and was contemplating waking up Emma when a lean arm suddenly snatched him up and hauled him over to the couch. "Hey!" he yelped.

Rumple sat down and held his grandson on his lap, saying to Regina, "And this is what happens to little boys who get too big for their britches, dearie."

Then he began to tickle Henry, his long fingers finding all the boy's most ticklish spots and tickling him unmercifully. Henry was doubled over laughing uncontrollably across Rumple's knees.

"They get the Rumplestiltskin Tickle Torture Treatment!" Rumple declared, his fingers dancing up the boy's ribcage, behind his knees, and under his arms.

"Okay . . . stop . . . please . . ." Henry begged, howling with laughter. "I . . . take it . . . back . . ."

"Henry?" Emma muttered, waking up. She looked over at the couch and saw her son laughing helplessly in Rumple's grip. "What's going on?"

"Help . . . Mom . . . he's tickling me to death!" Henry gasped, then dissolved into giggles again.

"Just teaching the boy a much needed lesson, dearie," Rumple smirked.

"That's good," Emma winked, then she flopped back on the chair and shut her eyes.

"Mo-om!" her son wailed. Then he started laughing as his grandfather's fingers, devilishly quick things that they were, poked him in the stomach. "Okay . . . I'll . . . be . . . good . . ."

"Promise?"

"Yes . . ." Henry said.

"All right. I'll let you off. But next time I'm using a feather," Rumple threatened with a wicked chuckle. He released Henry just as the door to the suite opened and Snow, Alina, Charming, and Bae entered.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" asked David.

"Last I checked, dearie, it was the sky," Rumple quipped.

"You still telling that one, Papa?" Bae asked. "That one's older than you. Getting a little . . . forgetful?"

"You sassing me, Baelfire?" Gold asked, with a mock-frown.

"Don't do it, Dad!" Henry cried. "Or he'll tickle torture you to death."

"Henry, I'm a little too old for that threat to work on me," Bae said smugly.

"Really, dearie?" Rumple queried. The next instant he was on his feet and reaching for his son, his brown eyes gleaming.

"Whoa!" Bae cried, holding out his hands. "No, Papa! Okay, I take it back!"

"Like father like son," Belle remarked.

Emma burst out laughing. She owed Rumplestiltskin a thank you. Because now she knew what to threaten her boys with if they got out of line.

A/N: Okay, now where should they go next? The Empire State Building? Chinatown? Little Italy? FAO Scwartz? Fifth Avenue? Or should we have some Rumbelle moments with a horse-drawn carriage and a picnic in Central Park?