22
Catch Me If You Can
As they made their way back up the street, Bae said to Henry, "See, tiger? That's what I'm talking about. Your grandpa just fought that nasty ass Fabrizio using the techniques Master Kitaro taught me. He used the Way of the Peaceful Warrior," Bae declared proudly. "Because it's not enough to just win . . . you have to win the right way."
Hearing the pride in his son's voice, something Rumple was sure he'd never hear back when he was the Dark One, and making a mess of things with his son left and right, caused the sorcerer's heart to swell in amazement, and a satisfaction so deep he almost burst with it. At long last he had gained his son's regard, and suddenly he didn't regret at all sparing Fabrizio's miserable life. He had finally done the right thing, and that was worth more than gold, to have the respect of those he loved best.
Belle smiled up at him, and they quickened their steps back to the Plaza, anxious to get to the hotel and relax.
Rumple was ready for a long nap, for his spell duel had exhausted him, and all he wanted right then was to take a long shower, get into pajamas and fall asleep with his head in Belle's lap.
Once they got to their suite, that was exactly what he did.
Page~*~*~*~*~Break
The next day was their last full day in Manhattan, for tomorrow they would be leaving to return to Storybrooke. Rumple was still beat, and wanted to do nothing more strenuous than veg out on the couch and watch TV or read with Belle, who also was feeling rather peaky and was content to remain in the suite with her husband, as her tummy was bothering her.
Snow, David, Regina, and Henry wanted to take a look in some shops along the street across from their hotel, and Bae, Emma, and Alina went back to the Asian market because Emma wanted to look at something there.
Actually, Emma was shopping for a Christmas present for her husband, and she needed Alina to distract him while she did so.
"You take him over there," she indicated a stall where they sold some martial arts weapons to Alina. "Ask him some questions or something, while I go in here to that Master Lu Kang or whatever his name is and buy that onyx panther and that leather jacket he was looking at a few days ago. Okay?"
"Sure, Emma!" Alina grinned. "No worries! I got it covered."
She dragged her brother over to the weapons booth and started asking him what the difference was between the long staff and the short staff there.
Bae promptly launched into an explanation while Emma disappeared into the shop in question.
After five minutes, and still no Emma, Alina was wondering what other question she should ask, when Bae said slyly, "So . . . how long are you supposed to keep me talking here, Alina?"
"W-what?" his sister blurted, shocked.
"Tell me, little sister . . . what's Emma shopping for?" Bae queried knowingly.
"Uh . . . it's a surprise," Alina hedged.
"Like a present for me?" Bae hinted.
Alina shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not."
Her brother smirked. "You don't do a good enough poker face to fool me."
"Who says I want to, Bae?"
"Me," he chuckled. "You forget, I learned how to spot a distraction a mile away. Both from Papa and from my days as a street rat. Now spill it, kid. What's she buying?"
"I ain't telling you!" Alina crossed her arms over her chest.
"No? How about if I do this?" and he pulled her to him and began to tickle her unmercifully.
"N-No . . . Bae . . . please . . . stop . . ." she giggled helplessly in his grip.
"Not till you tell me," he insisted, tickling her more.
She shook her head, laughing. "N-No . . . can't . . . hahaha . . . make me . . . ."
"Aww, come on! I'll make you a deal," he urged, still running his fingers over her vulnerable ribcage.
She shook her head, snickering.
"Damn, girl! Papa used to have me on the ground by now," her brother sighed.
"Well, you ain't Papa, Bae," she informed him gleefully. "And I already promised Emma. Sorceress' honor."
Bae shook his head. "Women! You're thick as thieves."
"Yup! And you're gonna be surprised on Christmas morning," his sister said smugly. Then she gasped. "Oops! I shouldn't have said that!"
"Ah ha! See, the Stiltskin Tickle Torture always gets results. One way or another," Bae said smugly.
"Darn!" Alina sighed. "Now I feel like Hagrid," she groaned. But at least she hadn't let the cat out of the bag entirely.
After Emma returned, holding a large bag, they went and stopped by the pharmacy a few blocks down from the Plaza so Bae could pick up the tranquilizers for David that Archie had called in for him, just in case he needed them for the plane ride. He had admitted to Bae that flying made him nervous, and asked him to pick up the medication for him so Snow wouldn't learn of his embarrassing phobia.
While they were in the pharmacy, they also bought some snacks for the plane trip back, and Bae bought a martial arts magazine called Black Belt also. Emma bought some cryptograms, for she enjoyed doing puzzles. And Alina bought some comics for herself and Henry.
Then they headed back to the Plaza to eat lunch with their parents.
Page~*~*~*~*~*~Break
Meanwhile, the Charmings and Henry had been dragged into a stationary store by Snow to get "something absolutely essential to remember this vacation by". While she was perusing the section on photo albums, Regina had dragged Charming over to a section where they sold some toys and games and things.
"Daddy, I want this fairy costume," she pointed to a costume that had fake silver wings and a glittery green dress and a silvery sparkling wand with a star on top.
"But Regina, you already have a Halloween costume," David reminded her. "Remember, you're going to be Snow White."
"I know that," she said exasperatedly. "This isn't for Halloween. It's just for pretend. Like dress up n' stuff." She gave him a look that said why didn't he know that? It was so obvious.
"Oh. Err . . . okay," her father said, and then he took one down from the rack. "You want anything, Henry?"
"Um . . . I saw a cool looking journal over there," Henry said. He pointed to a journal that looked like one they made back in Fairy Tale Land, with distressed leather and brass caps and a scroll-lock.
David just nodded and then he went to pay for the items.
Once they were done, he took the kids outside to wait for Snow.
Regina tugged on his sleeve. "Daddy, I wanna wear my fairy costume now."
"Regina, let's wait till later," David replied. "You can try it on when we get back to the hotel, okay?" he said reasonably.
"No!" Regina cried, stamping her foot on the floor. Sometimes the little girl could be reasoned with, and other times she could turn obstinate as ten mules. "I wanna wear it now!"
David shook his head. "No. We'll wait."
"No! Now, Daddy!" she wailed.
He almost gave in when he saw her eyes fill up with tears. But then he stopped himself. He knew that sometimes there were times when he needed to be firm, and not let the child have her own way just because she made him feel guilty. And there wasn't any reason not to wait till they were home for her to try on the costume.
"Regina, you can wait ten minutes till we get back to the hotel. Now quit those crocodile tears," he ordered exasperatedly.
"Don't wanna wait!" she shrieked, her face turning bright red with temper.
"Looks like someone's tired and needs a nap," he said, recognizing the signs that she was cranky.
"No! I ain't taking no nap! You're mean!" she yelled, and continued bawling like he'd beaten her within an inch of her life.
David wanted to cover his ears. He saw Henry wincing and nearly covering his, and he scowled and said, "Now you listen here, Regina Nolan. Either you wait like I said or when we get back to the hotel, you'll be in trouble and not only will you not be wearing your costume, you'll be standing in the corner for having a tantrum and taking a nap because you're behaving like a cranky little imp. Got me?"
She sniffled and glared at him. "I'm tellin' Mommy!"
David fought to keep from laughing. "Go ahead. I'm sure she'll agree with me."
Regina considered, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout. "Fine! Then I'm tellin' Unca Rumple!"
"Really? You can tell the whole world if you want to, sweetheart, but that's not going to make me change my mind."
"Why?"
"Because I'm your father and what I say goes, young lady. Now decide what you'd rather do—wait and get to wear your costume when we get back to the Plaza, or throw a fit right here on the street and when we get back it's no costume, time out, and a nap. Your choice, Regina." He crossed his arms over his chest.
"I don't wanna do any of those things," she sniveled, angry that he was making her choose to do something she didn't want to.
"Those are your choices," he replied, thinking back to something Rumple had told him about toddlers testing boundaries. The pawnbroker had said there were times when you just had to hold your ground and your child might not like it, but they needed to learn who was in charge, or else they'd think they could walk all over you. You don't have to be nasty, just be firm, and show them that they don't get what they want if they act up with you. It's hard, but it's necessary.
"You're mean!" she cried. "Mean an' nasty and an ole crab!"
"Okay . . . and if you don't quit giving me an attitude, I'm going to be even more of a crab," David returned. "Is that what you want?"
"No," she said sullenly. "I wanna wear my fairy costume."
"You will. Later."
Frustrated, Regina ran over to Henry and cried, "Henry, Daddy's being mean and nasty!"
Her nephew looked at her and said, "Not really. He just wants you to wait a little. Is that so bad?"
"I don't wanna!"
"Well, sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to," the boy told her. "Three weeks ago I didn't want to do my book report, I wanted to play Candy Crush instead, and my dad made me do my homework."
"Did you think he was mean?"
"Uh . . . yeah, for a bit, but I knew afterwards I could play my game and if I argued with him, he'd take away my Nook and ground me, so guess what I did? I did my homework first," Henry told her. "It was the better of two choices. Now you need to do the same thing. Decide what's better, you not listening and getting nothing you want, or you listening to your dad and getting what you want a little later."
Regina huffed and pouted some more. She looked at David and then back at Henry. Finally realizing she wasn't going to get exactly what she wanted, she sulked for a bit. When that didn't work, she sighed and snapped, "Fine! I'll wait! But you're both mean!"
"Why am I mean?" Henry asked.
"'Cause I say so!" the toddler said grouchily, then she leaned against the side of the building and scowled.
Henry fought to keep from laughing. He recalled a few times when he had done the same thing . . . with the little girl before him when she was his mother. It hadn't worked any better with Regina as an adult than it did with David now.
Just then they saw someone bolt out the door of the convenience store next to them. It was a scruffy looking young man with raggedy blond hair and ripped up jeans and a stained T-shirt. He ran down the sidewalk just as the shopkeeper came out and yelled, "Stop, thief! He just held up my shop! Stole a hundred dollars from my register!"
There was a policeman on a horse that happened to be standing nearby, he'd been getting a sandwich from the deli on the corner. He heard the shopkeeper and went to go chase after the thief, who was running down a nearby alley.
Suddenly his horse stumbled and the police officer was thrown from the saddle. He landed hard on the pavement and cried out, clutching his arm. "Dammit! It's broken! And that rotten crook's getting away."
"Henry, take my cell and call 911," said David. "Tell them we need an ambulance over here stat!"
"What's going on?" Snow asked, coming out of the stationary store.
"There's been a robbery," David told her. "And if we don't do something, that thief's going to walk off with the money." He indicated the hurt policeman and the horse still standing there.
"Then let's do something," Snow said, and she dropped her bag by Henry and said, "Come on, David! Henry, you stay here and watch Regina."
David ran over to the horse and mounted in one easy leap, pulling Snow up beside him. Then he put his heels to the horse's flanks and shouted, "Yah! Let's go, boy!"
The chestnut gelding sprang off, and Snow and David pursued the thief through the alley.
Regina started jumping up and down, no longer upset with her daddy. "Yeah! Get 'em, Daddy! Under arrest him like Emma! An' John Wayne! A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!"
Henry managed to contact 911 and tell them what happened and where they were. Sirens started wailing and he hugged Regina to him and said, "Let's hope the catch that thief."
"They will!" Regina stated. "They're heroes!"
The injured officer looked at the two children. "Either that or crazy. They always do things like that?"
"Pretty much," Henry said. "They have this thing about rescuing people and stuff."
"Amazing. But they could get hurt," the policeman said. "That guy could be armed."
"My grandpa knows how to fight. And so does my grandma," Henry replied blithely. "It's that thief who ought to be worried."
The thief ran blindly down another side street when he heard the sound of galloping hooves. Swearing, he tried to climb up the back of a chain-link fence, but Charming got the horse in close and then jumped off and tackled the slender man to the ground.
"Freeze! You're under arrest!" he yelled in his best imitation of Emma . . . or what he imagined she would be like when she was arresting someone.
"Aww, crap! What are you, an undercover cop?" the thief groaned, holding up his hands. "Okay, I give up! Just don't shoot me."
Now that he'd captured the thief, Charming wished he owned a pair of Emma's handcuffs. He glanced at Snow, who realized his dilemma and ripped off the bottom of her T-shirt to make a rope to tie the thief up with.
Charming took it and snapped, "Put your hands where I can see them and no funny business."
The thief obeyed, and then he spotted Snow and groaned, "Her too? What are you both cops?"
"We're partners," Snow replied honestly.
After David had tied him up, he remounted the policeman's horse and had the now captured thief run alongside, much to his dismay.
"Huh? You want me to what? Buddy, what d'you think this is, the Old West?"
Charming shrugged. "It doesn't matter what I think. All that matters is that we're bringing you in. Now start walking."
When they returned to where the policeman and the kids were, they found some cop cars and the ambulance had arrived. The officer, who'd broken an arm and sprained his ankle, was just being loaded into the ambulance when David and Snow came up with the thief in tow.
"Holy crap!" he gasped when he saw them. "They really caught him. MacLeod!" he called to a tall man standing next to a cop car. "We'd better make these two honorary members of the force or something. It's like incredible!"
"Okay, Rich," his partner laughed. Then he turned to Snow and David. "Thanks you guys for bringing this perp in." He moved to cuff the thief, and said, "I'll make sure Tonto's taken care of, Rich." To the thief, he said, "You have the right to remain silent . . ."
"Darn! Now why didn't I think of that?" David muttered to his wife.
"Because you don't watch Law and Order like Emma and Regina," Snow said, and slid down from Tonto's back.
The rest of the police gathered there, there were two others, clapped as she did so, and came up to congratulate them.
"That was as sweet a collar as I've ever seen," said one. "You on the force back where you come from?"
"Uh, no, but our daughter is," David said. "I'm . . . a former veterinary assistant and my wife's an elementary school teacher. We're here on vacation with our family."
"You two make a great team, and Rich is right, you ought to be honorary members," said MacLeod.
Just then Regina broke away from Henry and ran over to them. "Daddy! You did it! You got the bad guy . . . just like John Wayne!" She threw her arms about him and hugged him.
"John Wayne, eh?" a cop chuckled. "Yeah, you're right, little lady. Your daddy is like the Duke."
"Uh huh. Only he ain't a duke. He's a prince!" Regina declared, and everyone laughed.
Page~*~*~*~*~*~Break
All Regina could talk about when they got back to the hotel was how Snow and David had "under arrested" someone. She jumped on Rumple and woke him up just to tell him that, and the weary sorcerer just yawned and said, "That's nice, dearie. Your papa and mama have always been heroes."
"Yup. They kicked that bad guy's butt, Unca Rumple. Just like you did that Frizzy-Ho guy yesterday," his niece prattled.
Rumple's eyes widened. "The who?"
"You know, that Frizzy-Ho guy. The evil warlock," she elaborated.
Rumple's lips twitched hard. "Ah. You mean, Fabrizio?"
"Yup. What I said."
He started laughing. "I think I like your name for him better, scamp! Now could you please stop jumping on my stomach, dearie?"
"Why? 'Cause you'll throw up?" she asked innocently.
"Exactly," he nodded.
"Okay," she agreed, then she went and jumped on David, who was sitting in the recliner. "Daddy, let's play Hop on Pop!"
David grunted as her knees landed almost in a certain vulnerable part of his anatomy. "Oof! Honey, you've got lethal knees. Like your mom."
Snow shot him a Look. "Gee thanks, David."
"Better you than me, dearie," Rumple smirked, and calmly rearranged himself on the couch next to a sleeping Belle.
The suite door opened and Bae, Emma, and Alina walked in.
"Hi, guys!" they greeted.
"So what'd we miss?" Emma asked as she put down her shopping bag.
"Emma! Daddy and Mommy under arrested a bad guy!" Regina crowed from her perch on David's lap.
"And that hood Fabrizio's got a new name," Snow giggled. "According to Regina, he's a Frizzy-Ho."
"Uh, can you run that by me again?" Emma asked, while behind her Bae and Alina cracked up.
So Charming told the story of how they caught a thief while shopping, and Regina bounced up and down on his lap at the exciting parts, grinning like a jack-o-lantern. By the time he was done, David felt like he'd become Hop on Pop for real.
Rumple slanted him a commiserating glance. "It's exhausting, isn't it? Being her hero?"
"Uh huh," David said, wincing. Then he hugged his baby girl. "But it's all worth it."
"It always is, dearie," Rumple said wisely. "Now who wants pizza?"
A/N: Thanks so much, dearies for all your awesome reviews last chapter. You rock!