24

Family Album

Rumple figured that with only fifteen or twenty minutes to get home, he'd be safe in assuming everything would be fine during the car ride. Little did he know he was very much mistaken. First Regina decided to sing "The Song That Never Ends" over and over until Rumple wanted to borrow David's tranquilizers . . . and take the whole damn bottle.

"Regina! For heaven's sake, sing something else . . . anything else! You're giving me a migraine," he ordered exasperatedly, driving as quickly as he could down the highway without breaking the speed limit. The last thing he needed was to be pulled over and get a speeding ticket.

Big mistake.

Because Regina stopped singing "The Song That Never Ends" and began to sing "When You Wish Upon A Star"-that patented fairy song.

Gold groaned and thought about slamming his head into the steering wheel. Damn fairies! He couldn't seem to get away from them. Frustrated, he turned on the radio, figuring he could drown out Regina that way.

The Police came on singing "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic". Now that was a fine song, he thought happily. He started to hum along with it, since he never sang unless he was in the shower, or alone in his car, where he would be sure no one could hear him. Mostly because he thought he had a terrible voice, though Alina had caught him singing Christmas carols once along with Rosemary Clooney when she had come home from school early and he thought he was alone in the house, as Alice had gone out shopping. She had assured him his voice was fine, but Rumple had thought she was just being kind.

Regina started to sing louder, and her shrill voice made his eardrums throb.

"Regina!" he snapped, feeling the migraine he was developing suddenly upscale a notch. "Stop singing that blasted song and just . . . listen to the music."

"But I wanna sing! Your music is boring!"

"I don't care. Now hush!" he half-growled, wondering why it was that she always chose to give him a hard time.

She gave him a patented regal scowl—at least that's what Henry called it when she got in one of her moods and glared at someone as if she wanted to curse them.

Then she started singing a song she had heard Hans and some of his friends singing one day while leaving school. "Great green globs of greasy grimy golpher guts! Mutilated monkey meat! Little birdie's smelly feet! French fried eyeballs floating in a frying pan—and I forgot my spoon! So gimme a scab sandwich with pus on top, monkey vomit and camel snot, elephant eyeballs, rotten eggs too—eat it, Unca Rumple—it's good for you!"

By the time she was done with that annoying song, Rumple was tempted to gag her with his tie, and Belle, who had been sitting with her eyes closed the whole time, trying to ignore her queasy stomach, was close to vomiting for real after listening to that list of disgusting things.

Rumple slapped his hand down on the dashboard. "Knock it off, right now!" he snarled. "Before I—"

He never got to finish saying what he would do, because Belle moaned pathetically and interrupted, "Rumple . . . you need to pull over . . . now."

"What's wrong, dearie?" He turned to look at her.

Belle's blue eyes were limpid in her pale face, which had a greenish tinge to it all of a sudden. "I . . . err . . ." She swallowed convulsively, and shot him a desperate pleading look.

Rumple recognized that look. "Aww, hell! Hang on, Belle." He began looking for a way to get over to the side of the road, but traffic was heavy on the road and he couldn't get over right away.

If only he had his magic! He could have just touched his wife and willed her nausea to go away . . . or conjured a bucket for her to be sick in. He put on his signal light and waited for an opening so he could move over.

Belle sat still in the seat, whimpering slightly, trying to do anything but think about how much her stomach was churning and she needed to throw up. She couldn't throw up all over the car . . . well, she could . . . Rumple would understand, she couldn't help it . . .but the last thing she wanted was to throw up like a baby in front of Regina . . . though her stomach was quickly making any decision a moot point.

Rumple swore under his breath . . . and finally pulled over to the side of the road. Regrettably, there wasn't any gas station nearby for him to go to so Belle could be sick in private. "Okay, dearie," he said, braking.

Belle fumbled for the door handle and got out, barely making it two steps before she doubled over and was sick.

"Are we there yet?" Regina queried.

"No." Rumple answered, wincing at the awful sounds his wife was making.

"Then why are we stoppin'?"

"Because . . . Auntie Belle is sick. Now you stay here," Rumple ordered, getting out of the car and going to see if Belle needed help. "Belle . . ."

"Please, Rumple . . ." she groaned as her stomach heaved again. "Go away . . ."

He shook his head. "Sorry, dearie. I'm not leaving you like this," he insisted, and gently held her head. "In sickness and in health, remember?"

Belle wanted to snap at him, but found she lacked the strength to do so, as her queasy stomach robbed her of her power of speech, and embarrassed as she was, it felt oddly good to have Rumple there beside her, supporting her. His arm was warm around her waist, and his hands cupping her head were gentle yet firm, holding her hair from her face.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Belle straightened, reasonably sure she had finished, holding her tummy. "Rumple . . . I'm sorry . . . I . . . "

"Hey, there's nothing to apologize for, love. God knows, I've been where you are . . . and for worse reasons," he soothed. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and mopped her face. "Okay now?"

She nodded, and he helped her back to the car.

As he got back in the driver's seat, he saw Regina munching on something. "What are you eating, Regina?"

She looked at him then, her little face smeared with chocolate crumbs. "Cookies! Mommy packed me them."

Rumple looked at her in dismay. She was covered in cookie crumbs and chocolate and looked like a refugee from a preschool daycare snack time. "Okay, but only one more cookie."

"Aww! Unca Rumple! I'm hungry!" she whined aggravatingly.

He grabbed her sippy cup and handed it to her. "Drink this, and I'll stop at McDonalds for you on the way home."

"Yay! Happy Meal!" she sang. Then she took the sippy cup from him.

He had just pulled out onto the road when Regina cried, "Oh no! Unca Rumple! I . . . uh . . . had an accident."

He almost slammed into the car in front of him. "What?" Visions of the toddler peeing all over his Cadillac flashed through his head.

"I spilled my juice," she elaborated. "Now I'm all wet."

"Oh, is that all?" he breathed a sigh of relief.

"And sticky!" she wailed, grimacing.

"All right, give me a second and we'll . . . uh . . . clean you up when we get to McDonalds."

The Golden Arches were just ahead and he pulled into the parking lot. "Belle, I need to take Regina into the bathroom to get changed and get her something to eat."

"I'll be okay, Rumple. I just . . . want to rest."

"Okay, sweetheart. Be right back." He grabbed Regina's carryon and Regina and headed into the McDonalds.

Luckily they had a family restroom, so Rumple didn't have to drag a whiny toddler into the men's room to change her. Once they were inside, he started to help her take off her fairy costume, which was sticky with purple grape juice.

He grabbed some towels and mopped her chest and tummy with them, setting the costume in the sink. "There, dearie. Let's get some dry clothes on you." As he knelt to rummage in the carryon, Regina started sniffling.

"My fairy costume's ruined!" she bawled. "It's all a wreck!"

He looked up at the distraught little girl and said, "Hey, don't cry. We'll wash it and it'll be good as new," he told her, thinking that if that didn't work he could always magic the stain out.

"R-really?"

"Really, dearie," he said quietly, and grabbed another paper towel. "Blow."

Regina did, coughing a little.

He wiped her face of the tears and held another towel to her nose. "Again. Good job." Then he pulled out a little T-shirt and a pair of pink pants. "Here. Let's wear your Ariel shirt, okay?"

He helped her into her clothes, putting the soiled costume in her bag and then washing his hands. "All right. Now let's get that Happy Meal. What do you want? Chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger?"

"Umm . . . cheeseburger!" Regina told him, taking his hand as they left the restroom. "An' Coke to drink."

"Right," he said, and went to get on line.

He ordered one cheeseburger Happy Meal and two honey mustard crispy chicken wraps, fries, and a diet Coke for himself.

Once the food was given to them, he led Regina over to a table so they could eat, since he didn't think Belle would appreciate McDonalds being in the car while she was sick. He opened the Happy Meal and gave Regina her food, making sure she had ketchup for her fries and the straw was seated firmly in her drink.

He had just bitten into his wrap when Regina looked at her Happy Meal toy and howled, "No! I don't want her!"

"Who?" Rumple queried.

"Maleficent!" Regina wailed. "She's bad! I don't want her, Unca Rumple!"

Rumple bit his lip. It was ironic, for Mal had been Regina's best friend when she was the Evil Queen and yet the sight of the bad fairy made her cry as a little child. "Uh . . . okay . . . maybe we can ask for a different one," he said.

She stopped crying then. "'Kay." Then she began to eat her cheeseburger.

Once they had eaten, Gold picked her up and went over to ask one of the workers if they could exchange the toy for a different one.

The teenage boy behind the counter looked at him and sneered, "You ain't allowed to do that."

"Look, it's a simple exchange," Gold bargained. "Please, my little girl is terrified of her. I'll pay you five dollars to swap this toy with another one. Like . . . Sleeping Beauty or . . . or . . . one of the fairy godmothers."

"Mister, I said you can't—"

"Jerry, for God's sake!" said a tall redhaired girl. "Just give him a new toy. Don't be a jerk, we've got plenty of others." She snatched a bunch of plastic wrapped toys from beneath the counter. "Here, sir. Pick which one you want."

"Regina, look. You can trade Mal for one of these," Rumple told her. There was Phillip, Aurora, a dragon, a rabbit, and a castle, but no fairy godmothers. Rumple thanked God for small favors.

Regina examined all the toys before her. "Want Rory," she said, pointing to Aurora.

"There you go," the girl said, smiling at her. "Gosh, she's a cutie. You're gonna have to beat the boys away with a stick when she's old enough to date."

"Either that or lock her in her room until she's eighty," Rumple chuckled. "Thank you."

"No problem," the girl said, and waved as he turned with Regina to leave. "Aww man! Why are all the hot guys married with children?" she sighed enviously.

"Hot guy? He's like old enough to be your father, Mitzie!" commented Jerry.

"So? I like older guys," the girl said, watching in longing as Rumple left. "He's hot, he's rich, and he's good with kids. What more could a girl want?"

"Somebody who ain't gonna croak the first time they go to bed together," sneered the boy.

"Please, Jerry! You make me sick," she muttered, then turned away to get a milkshake, fantasizing about the man in the Armani suit with a toddler on his hip. It was too bad fairy tales weren't real, she thought.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

The rest of the drive home was uneventful, and as they passed the sign that said Entering Storybrooke, Rumple felt the cold tingle of magic wash over him as they drove past. Home sweet home! He thought happily, and smiled at his small niece and Belle, who was dozing.

"Are we there yet?" Regina asked.

"Soon, dearie."

He drove down Main Street, past his shop and Archie's office.

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost."

"Are we there yet?"

"Regina, why do you keep asking me that?"

"'Cause I don't like the answer," she replied honestly.

"Wait a few minutes and you will," he told her, and then he turned down his street and pulled into his driveway.

"Are we there yet?"

"Yes, little imp. We're home," he answered.

"Yay!" Regina cheered.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

A few days later:

Alice had invited the whole family over to her house for a welcome home dinner, which all of them happily accepted, eager to share their vacation moments with her family. And also the news that Belle was expecting.

They also had presents to give to Alice, Jeff, and Grace. Belle had gotten a cookbook for her best friend, with all kinds of recipes from famous New York restaurants, plus the notes she'd scribbled down from the dinner she'd had at Babbo's. Rumple had gotten Jeff a new hat . . . a signed Yankees ball cap he'd picked up at a memorabilia shop in upper Manhattan before they'd left. And Henry and Alina had gotten Grace a shirt of the Statue of Liberty that said Freedom, Friendship, and Justice For All.

After a lovely dinner of king crab legs, peas with mushrooms, hot buttered biscuits, and a zesty orange salad, they all gathered in the den to show Alice, Jeff, and Grace the photo album Snow had made. She had picked one that looked like an old white leather and gold accented journal called Once Upon a Time In Manhattan. It was filled with pictures all of them had taken on their phones . . . and emailed to Snow so she could print them out and put them in the album.

There were plenty of pictures of Manhattan . . . and of the family visiting the various landmarks. Rumple had taken a picture of himself and Belle on their carriage ride in Central Park—he'd had their driver Joe take it when they'd stopped, and there was one of Black Beauty and one of Rumple holding the baby bootie and grinning joyfully as Belle announced her news.

"Whoa, buddy! That's great," Jeff said. "Now Regina over there will have a playmate," he said, indicating the toddler, who was petting Grace's bunny as Grace held him for her while Henry and Alina watched.

"Maybe we ought to have one of our own, hmm?" suggested Alice with a nudge.

"Uh . . . yeah, we'll see," her husband laughed. Then he turned the page and started laughing when he saw a shot of Snow and David dancing on the Dance Magic machine. "Looks like you two were having a good old time."

"Uh, yeah. We were playing some dance game," David chuckled.

"And I won!" Snow reminded him.

Alice turned the page . . . and beheld a sleeping Rumple with a blue icebag over his head. "What's this? Headache, Rumple?"

"Uh . . . yes. Now who took that of me?"

Emma smirked. "I did. Because you were just too . . . cute the morning after, Rumple."

He shook a finger at her. "Don't try to butter me up, girl."

"You were drunk, Mr. G?" Alice asked, then she burst out laughing. "That's never happened, not in all the years I've known you."

"It happened on the plane," he grumbled. "It was unintentional."

"But funny as hell," Bae said. "He was singing Danny Boy in JFK."

"Did anybody record it?" Alice hooted.

"No, thank God," Rumple muttered, flushing.

There were several pictures of the children, including Regina in her fairy costume . . . and Rumple in his at FAO Schwartz.

"What is that?" he goggled at the picture of himself wearing those awful wings and the tiara and the wand.

"It's Fairy Couture With Mr. Gold," David said. "We all took pictures of you in the toy store while you were shepherding Regina around."

"Not only that but some little kid who saw you thought you were gay," Bae reported, cracking up. "I almost wet myself right there when I heard that."

There were several other pictures of him and Regina in the toy store, affectionately called "Rumpleshots."

Jeff and Alice were hysterical.

"You mean while she was driving me nuts, you were all laughing behind my back," Rumple said, pretending to be insulted.

"Uh, well . . . it was funny," Snow said. Then she turned the page and gasped, for there was a picture in there she hadn't seen . . . of her and David kissing after their dinner date. "Rumple! You took this!"

"Surprise, dearie. You aren't the only one with a hidden camera."

"Aww, that's sweet!" Alice said. Then she turned another page . . . and saw Bae and Emma together in front of the door to their room.

"Hey! When did you take that?" Bae cried.

"Watching you two trying to open a door drunk," Rumple said gleefully. "Fifty times."

"Aww, come on, Rumple!" Emma groaned.

"Payback, dearie, for my hangover pictures," Rumple snickered.

There were several pictures of the children, New York harbor, the Statue, and the family in Little Italy and Chinatown. There were also photos of the Museum of Natural History, the T-Rex Regina had brought to life with her stolen wand (which had been returned to the nuns with an apology), and many of Regina, Belle, and Rumple with Beauty and the Beast from the Broadway Show.

Alice and Jeff laughed themselves to pieces over several of Regina's comments and Snow admitted that at one point she'd gotten on the same car of the subway three times in a row because she'd gotten confused and ended up going around in circles.

"That's my wife. Can't read a map and won't ask for directions," David chuckled.

"Who was I going to ask directions from? Nobody was available who was driving the subway," Snow objected.

Then Bae shared the story of their flight home . . . and his impromptu video.

Alice nearly wet herself. "I believe in fairies, Mr. G!"

"Baelfire!" Rumple scowled. "How could you?"

"It was priceless, Papa," his son said, his eyes shining mischievously. He flipped the page and then gasped. "Oh my God! Who took that?"

It was a picture of himself and Emma, curled up together on the recliner, with Emma in his lap, asleep and he was asleep . . . and drooling on her shoulder.

"Never could break you of that nasty habit, son," Rumple said triumphantly.

His son glared at him. "Sneaky, Papa!"

"All's fair in love, war, and family photos, dearie," Rumple returned, unrepentant.

"So what did you like best about Manhattan?" Alice wanted to know.

"Well, the food was phenomenal," Snow said.

"The scenery was incredible," Bae answered.

"I never laughed so hard in my life," Emma admitted.

"I loved the way history twined with culture," David said.

"The best part for me was seeing the expression on Rumple's face when I told him he was going to be a papa again," Belle smiled.

"For me it was all the time I got to spend with my family," Rumple told them. "We all had the time of our lives."

"I'm thinking we need to do a vacation next, Jeff," Alice mused.

"Yeah, maybe we should. Just don't know where yet," he agreed.

"How about Hawaii? The sun, sand, coconuts, and my hot and sassy husband," Alice purred. "And watching Grace snorkel."

"I wouldn't mind that," Jeff said. Then he looked at the Golds. "So . . . when's the next vacation?"

"Not for awhile yet," Charming said. "But maybe next summer . . . Orlando."

"Disney World?" Rumple gasped. "You've got to be kidding. I'll have a brand new baby."

"Who can be brand new to the Magic Kingdom, Papa," argued Bae.

"No. Oh, no. Regina running loose in Cinderella's castle?" Gold shook his head. "Then I'll really need to schedule an appointment with Archie."

"Aww, come on, Gold. It'll be fun," Charming urged.

"Maybe for you, David. I don't even want to think about Florida now. Right now I just want to get through the upcoming holidays. Like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas," Rumple said.

"The next great adventure," Henry said, grinning.

Because in this family, you never knew what was going to happen next, only that its members would always find each other, always fight for each other, and always make their own happy ending.

A/N: Thanks everyone for R & Ring this little fic! Hope you enjoyed the ending! Would you like to see some more Baby Regal-like a Halloween fic, or a Thanksgiving or Christmas one too! Just let me know!