Guys as I have told you before, I will be taking longer than normal to update due to holidays so please forgive me.

Usual warnings, and I don't own Criminal Minds as usual!

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I felt like I was floating with nothing but blackness around me. I could feel something pulling me in two directions, like it was playing tug – of – war with me. On one side I heard members of the team, Morgan, Garcia, Emily, Hotch, Rossi, JJ each talking to me, crying, and begging me to come home. Saying they were glad I was there with them but I needed to wake up now. I wanted to see them, to touch them, to hear them talk again. It would be nice to be back on a case with them all and to joke with Morgan. Morgan, he was like the older brother I never had, I couldn't leave him. The times we had together, laughing with each other and hanging out. But the question is would he miss me? I guess he would and if I was gone he would still have Garcia.

Oh my god, Garcia. She would be devastated right now. She would be angry too, I could image it. I'd miss her calling her by all those pet names she gave me like Junior G-man and the way she talked to the team, especially Morgan. Her outgoing style and the way she would change her hair colour from time to time. Her apartment was no different from her tech room. She was a very colourful person and almost mother – like figure towards the team. Morgan and Garcia were so playful towards each other; it sometimes made me wonder why they acted that way towards each other.

Prentiss was like the older sister now, when we first met it felt strange as though she was replacing Elle but I soon learnt that she wasn't replacing Elle, she was an edition to the team. She's a strong woman, that's what I admire about her. She has risked her life for me, I felt so guilty about it. I don't think I could ever leave her behind, not just yet.

Hotch was a great boss and now a great friends both him and Rossi are. They are two of the greatest profilers in the FBI that I know of; I wonder if they would have done differently if they were in my position, would they have chosen something else other than the FBI? I am not as strong as them, as the rest of the team. Rossi has so much experience in this line of work that makes me wonder why he ever came back to it, to all the horrors that lay within it. Hotch had the chance to leave but he didn't take it, it even meant his marriage would end and he still stuck with this job. I guess he can separate it, his work and his personal life.

Then there was JJ, oh I couldn't abandon her not with Henry, he's my godson for god sake and I couldn't abandon him like my father abandoned me. JJ was the sweetest woman you could ever met and such a caring soul. I wish that maybe we had something but her and Will are good together and they have Henry, the day I became a godfather was the happiest time I guess would be the word, I was more than happy I was thrilled. JJ is the one person I could never leave behind.

The other side was whispering to me, telling me how easy it would be to just let go, telling me of how much pain I have been through. My Mum had only just died last week, she was having an episode, knocked over a vase and stabbed herself, and they couldn't help her. I got the call at night after a case. I was never able to tell the team, I guess I never had the chance. They whispered about my childhood, of high school, telling me that I could be free of those memories, the memories of the pain. I have been through so much on the job. It was tempting to take the offer and just let go. But then the voices of my team weighed in and I knew that I couldn't do this to them. I then and there made my choice.

At that moment the feeling of pain and flashes of a room, I could feel the heat, the burning on my face, the burning around my neck. The increase of pain in my stomach and chest. My eyes felt heavy, like they were glued. I focused all my energy on opening, on seeing, it felt like the more I tried the more it felt like my eyes were getting heavier. I felt a light peer through into my vision, I felt like I was being pulled. The light was now blinding me and suddenly my eyes felt lighter and I slowly opened my eyes.

Everything was a blur, I felt confused, where was I? The last thing I could remember was leaving the BAU and then… and then it all falls into shattered pieces. I could feel something on my face and something in my throat. Fear took over me as I was now looking around the room, it would appear that I was in a hospital which was now getting me even more worried. How did I get here and where was the rest of my team?

"Sir it's alright, you're in the hospital," A young nurse walked over to me with a slight smile, "Doctor!"

A Man, a Doctor, rushed in, " Well, it's good to see you're awake," the doctor walked out of my view and then moments later returned into my view, " Well it looks like you're doing just fine for now."

I tried to talk but I was all to be reminded of the thing, which I think was a ventilator, was down my throat, " Don't try to talk, we are going to remove the ventilator," That was a relief to hear, it was the one good thing that had happened to me since I woke up, "You may have difficulty breathing but that is expected, try not to talk too much."

It was such a relief when they had actually removed the ventilator but I now understood the trouble breathing part, had I been that badly injured?

"Dr Reid, I don't want you talking too much so blink once for yes and twice for no, ok?" I blinked once at him, "Good, now I need to know whether you're up for visitors because you will be feeling very tired and withdrawn and I don't want you to be too stressed out," I blinked once, I needed to see the whole team, I needed to know what had happened to me.

When we all heard the news we didn't know whether to scream, shout, cry, they did say they didn't know how long it would take and it had nearly taken a week, everyone had spent a day or more with Reid but no one was there when he woke up, when it counted.

Morgan's POV

This was becoming a little bit too much, we lost Reid and when we found him, we find out that he's in a coma and then we find out that Henry's Reid's son. Everything felt like it was being thrown at us all at once. The one thing that has now kept me from exploding was the fact that Reid was now awake and I could help him through this, we all could now.

"How is he?" was the only thing that I could think of asking because right now it was all that matter to me.

"He is very confused and withdrawn but that isn't uncommon in people who have just come out of a coma," the doctor explained, "In most cases he won't remember what has happened to him and there may be a chance he won't ever fully remember it, he may remember bits and pieces but the trauma may have been too much," the doctor sounded very sympathetic.

"Can we go see him?" Hotch asked, his voice seemed less strained, almost relaxed but it wasn't completely.

"You can see him but don't stress or get him to talk too much or I'll have to remove you from his room," We all nodded before we headed to Reid's room.

"Ah how long will the bandages be on for?" Rossi asked.

"I could remove them tomorrow, I just need to make sure that they have healed properly and once removed I am afraid that the burns will leave minor scars," the doctor opened the door.

My eyes laid on him and I could see his brown hazel eyes looked back at us all, the things the kid has been through and never told us about had almost killed me and now he has another ordeal to live with. He was strong; I don't think any of us would be able to repeatedly walk into the BAU and continue to work with the people we deal with every day.

The kid always underestimated his strength when there was no need to; he had proven that he was stronger than we presumed. Nothing could ever change my opinion about him.

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