Chapter 3
It's already dark and everyone finished eating their dinner. Claire is already finished with her meeting with her manager. Everyone is back into their designated task.
Claire is roaming around the convoy. She's checking if everything is fine and is on place. From the corner of her eyes, she spotted Carlos. Claire went to him.
"Hey." Carlos greeted to the approaching redhead.
"Hey yourself." Claire said.
"What a nice words to greet me." Carlos grinned at her. "Stressed out?"
"I'm always stressed, you know that." Claire said and stood beside him.
"Well, I guess you need something to help you relieve it." Carlos replied as he looked at the crowd of kids with Kmart, playing he couldn't understand.
Claire looked at what Carlos is looking and she narrowed her eyes at the soldier. Claire slapped Carlos on his right arm.
"Ouch, what was that for Claire?"
"You're having a crush on Kmart?" Claire exclaimed.
"What? What the Hell are you talking about Claire?" Carlos countered. "I'm not having crush on Kmart."
"Then why are you looking at her that way?"
"She just amazes me."
Claire frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Look at her. She never loses hope. She never got tired of being happy, unlike us."
"So what do you wanna tell?"
"It's just so nice that Kmart is here with us. She became the light of this convoy. Look at her, she can make everyone laugh." Carlos explained.
Claire looked at Kmart and the kids. Carlos is right. Kmart can make everyone laugh; she just doesn't like to admit that.
"Well, I guess we're lucky we found her at that store." Claire said and crossed her arms across her chest.
"Claire I wish you go easy with Kmart."
"I don't always scream and yell at her."
"Yeah but you never talked to her." Carlos said.
"It's just that I don't have something to tell her."
"Or, you're just afraid…."
"Shut up Carlos." Claire said and walked out of Carlos.
Carlos was left there shaking his head. Claire still doesn't like to talk about that thing. Carlos walked to the group of the kids and smiled at them.
"Having fun kids?" Carlos asked.
From Hummer, Claire is silently looking at the group of the kids. Sure she doesn't like to be so close with Kmart for one reason.
Claire couldn't sleep that night while the teen beside her is already sound asleep. The redhead is looking at her map again. She's looking where the shortest way they could go once they go on a hunt again.
Claire dropped the mineral water that made Kmart wake up from the back seat. "Claire?" Kmart muttered.
"What?" Claire didn't look at her instead she looked back on the map she's holding again.
"Why are you not sleeping? Why do you keep on working till late at night?" Kmart asked.
"I just couldn't go to sleep." Claire replied.
Kmart went to the front seat and sat beside Claire. "You know what when I was a kid my mom used to give me hot milk for me to sleep."
"Well my mom used to do that also."
Kmart smiled. "Really? It's just so good to have a normal life, isn't it?"
Claire looked at her. From Kmart's feature, though the teen is smiling, she can still see the sadness in her eyes. "I don't think of it much anymore."
"Claire?"
"What?"
"Do you hate me?"
"Why did you ask?"
"I just wanted to know if you hate me. You never talked to me like the way you talk with other members here." Kmart replied.
"Are you complaining?"
"No. I just feel that you don't like me around here."
"Let's just say that I'm not that friendly. Unlike the others. Unlike Carlos, Betty, LJ, Mikey, Otto."
"Why?" Kmart's eyes are full of questions that want answers. But Claire couldn't give her any.
"Just go back to sleep Kmart."
Kmart sighed and went back to the back seat. She curled up like a ball again and closed her eyes. "Claire?"
"What is it again?" the redhead asked.
"I just wanna tell you that I won't give up on you. I will do the best I can to earn your trust." Kmart said, closed eyes.
"Just go to sleep Kmart."
"Yes I will. You go to sleep to. Night Claire." Kmart said.
Claire had her last look at Kmart and shook her head at the teen. She never wished to be so close to her that's why she's not talking to her casually. She never wished to be friend with someone else again. She never wished to be hurt again.
Claire turned away again and decided to turn off the lights. She had enough of this day. So much stress to contain so she decided to finally settle in. But as what she had expected, she couldn't go to sleep.
She was standing there. She's smiling the way she used to. She's just looking at her steadily. "Claire…" the young girl muttered. The girl must have been in the age of ten to eleven. Her curly hair swayed as the wind blew hard.
Claire is standing in front of her. She's just one step closer to the young girl but she doesn't why, but she couldn't reach her. "Hey…"
"Goodbye Claire." The girl said and the wind blew harder.
"NO!" Claire screamed and tried to catch up with the kid. But the more Claire wanted to reach her, the more the girl gets farther and farther away from her.
"No! Please!" Claire screamed.
"Claire!" Kmart shook Claire to wake up.
Claire was startled and sat up immediately. "What the hell, Kmart?" the redhead hissed.
"You're having a bad dream." Kmart said as she backed away a little.
"Sorry." Claire said and wiped her eyes. Once she opened her eyes, she finally realized that it's already daylight.
Kmart is just looking at her worriedly. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Claire answered and jumped off the Hummer.
"Carlos is looking for you." Kmart said.
Claire nodded at her. "Thanks."
"You're looking for me?" Claire found Carlos behind the tanker, leaning on it.
"Yeah I need to tell you something." the soldier said.
"What is it?"
"We're almost out of gas. We need to find more. Maybe we could do it when we go on a hunt for tomorrow."
Claire sighed. Another bad news to be a problem. "Sure. We'll go find some tomorrow."
"You okay? You look so worn out." Carlos said.
"Yeah."
"Sorry for the bad news."
"We can't we help it, can we?"
"Well, you're right. Now, tell me what's bugging you."
Claire frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I know you have something in mind."
"There's nothing."
"Oh come on. Claire you're not that hard hearted. You still have that soft spot in your heart. I just don't know where you hid it." Carlos said.
Claire bowed down her head. Carlos knew her just too well. "I dreamed of her again. She was there, standing and smiling until… until… she disappeared." Claire's eyes were almost brimmed with tears, she was just hiding it.
"I got it, you're still guilty and didn't move on from what happened."
"I just couldn't help it."
"Is that the reason why you keep on avoiding the kids and Kmart?" Carlos moved in front of her.
"No it's not. I just don't like to be with them."
Carlos shook his head. "We both know it's not true. And please Claire stop punishing yourself. It's not your fault after all. "
"Don't tell me what to do, Carlos. I am the leader here. No one should dictate to me what should I feel." Claire almost hissed at him.
"Come on Claire. Why are you refusing to be happy?"
"I am not."
"Yes you are."
"Don't start on me Carlos!" Claire shot him a death glare.
From the Yellow Hummer, Kmart can see the growing tension between Carlos and Claire. "What's going on with them?" Kmart muttered.
"Claire, happiness is rare now. While you still have it, and there are people who can make you happy, grab it. Don't let it slip away because of the bad past." Carlos said.
"Fuck you Carlos. I am happy." Claire hissed.
"Tell that to me when you're already convinced." Carlos said.
"Damn! I'm leaving. I don't your lecture." Claire said and stomped her feet. She left Carlos and went back to the Hummer.
On the other hand, Carlos just shrugged and jumped in the tanker.
Claire's face is so angry. She's even walking with a heavy step. She immediately slid herself inside the Hummer where she found Kmart "reading" a book.
Claire slammed the door that made Kmart almost jump. "Whoa!" Kmart exclaimed.
"Sorry." Claire turned to look at her.
"Are you okay? You seemed so mad."
"Just don't ask me. Pretend as if I'm not here." Claire replied.
"As if I can do that." Kmart went to the front seat and sat beside the redhead.
Claire buried her face on the steering wheel which is a rare scene for Kmart. "You're really upset, aren't you?" Kmart asked again. "Do you need anything?"
"Water please." Claire said.
Kmart nodded and left the Hummer.
After a few minutes, Kmart went back to the Hummer with bottled water on her hand. And to the teen's surprise, Claire's face is still buried on the steering wheel.
"Claire?" Kmart muttered.
Claire didn't respond, so Kmart tried once again. "Claire here's your water."
With that, Claire peered up her head and looked at Kmart. Claire's face is already burning red as well as her eyes.
"Thanks."
"I know we're not friends and that you don't like me, but you know what? You can tell me anything. Anything that goes on with your mind." Kmart said.
Claire drank the water to half and sighed after. "Did you ever feel of punishing yourself with something that you didn't mean to do?" the redhead asked without hesitation.
"Yeah a lot of times, before." Kmart nodded.
"Did you ever feel of refusing to be happy because of something?"
Kmart was puzzled. She hadn't expected Claire to ask her that. "I don't really know."
Claire sighed and shook her head. She buried her face on the steering wheel again. "Just give me a sec and we'll off to go again."
"You know what my mom always tells me when I was young? She always says 'Don't let bad things and bad situations overwhelm you because if you do, you will never have a chance to solve it. You will always be left behind, always refusing to move forward and that's a bad thing. Just let go, live your life to the fullest, do whatever you want to do as long as you're not hurting anyone and you're doing the right thing.'" Kmart said.
There was a moment of silence until Kmart talk again. "Before I forgot I need to help Otto wash dishes. Excuse me for awhile." Kmart jumped off the Hummer and left Claire with her face still buried on the steering wheel.
The moment Kmart left the Hummer; Claire peered up her head again and looked at the way where Kmart had gone. "You're really like her." Claire said to no one I particular and sighed.
AN: Thank you to those who read and reviewed this story especially to Audry for sticking around