Chapter 22

"Come on, take it." My hand was stretched out towards Anko and Kakashi that stood in the doorway.

"No, I won't take your money," Kakashi stated and chuckled lightly.

"I've stayed here for a week, I'm not gonna leave without paying at least something for rent." Kakashi shook his head. I was being persistent. The argument had been going on for almost 5 minutes and we had not gotten anywhere with it yet.

"Iruka-san, he's not gonna take your money and you know it. You've done more than enough for both of us already." Anko smiled, laid her hand on top of mine and pushed it down. "Thank you for everything. I appreciate your help very much."

"But-"

"No buts. You'll be late for work if you don't leave now. From now on, I'll take care of Kakashi."

The conversation from earlier that day played through my mind over and over again.

"I'll see you later, Iruka."

That was how the conversation between the three of us had ended. To some it might seem like an ordinary goodbye, but I had noticed something unusual – at least unusual to my culture.

"... Iruka." The last part rushed through my mind once again.

Iruka, that was the final word Kakashi had spoken when a week of care taking was over. Anko had returned as planned and to begin with I had actually thought that a week would be a long time to spent with the same person, but it was not. If Anko had asked me to take care of him for yet another week, it would not really have been a problem with me. I did not remember the last time where I had had as much fun as I had had the past week nor did I remember feeling as appreciated.

"See ya'," I could not get myself to add his name. He had used my name without a honorific. That was something he only did with his closest friends and his girlfriend. But... What did that mean? Was it a mistake or was it his way of showing me that I was finally within his trusted circle? Could I truly call myself his friend now?

I had used most of the morning wondering about that. It was such a small thing. How could the lack of a small monosyllabic word like -san change the entire meaning of a sentence? I had never really cared about the importance of honorifics, it was just something that I used without thinking. But after meeting Kakashi, the meaning of them had changed a great deal to me.

"I'll see you later, Iruka." It was a sentence of acceptance, was it not? At least the symbolic meaning behind it.

While my relationship with Kakashi seemed to be progressing, the relationship between my co-workers and customers appeared to be aggravating. No one even deigned to look at me anymore.

I sighed loudly. My mind was a mess and I could not think straight. I needed something to distract me for a moment, just something that would make me forget everything for at least a few minutes. I gazed in the direction of one of the cash registers, seeing the diversity of tobacco behind the desk. My break was close and I figured Tenzou would not mind if I anticipated it a little.

oOo

I stood with my back pressed against the brick wall, right beside the backdoor, with a lit cigarette in my hand. The burning sensation in my throat when I inhaled told me that it had been a long time since I had had one of those. I was not really used to it anymore.

The view of the park was pretty good from where I was standing. It was a very quiet day and there were only a few people visiting the park this midday. The most noticeable of them were a family on picnic. The woman and man sat together with a young girl on a red and white check patterned blanket while two boys, who seemed younger than the girl, were playing a game of tag. I had never played that myself, only watched my classmates do it, but I thought - even as a grown up – that the game looked like a lot of fun.

I took in a long drag of the smoke and exhaled after letting it spread inside of my lungs for a short while. This really did help calming my mind and nerves. It did not taste particularly good, but you got used to the taste eventually. Pretty stupid to get yourself addicted to something that you did not even find all that enjoyable to start with. For me, at the moment, it only helped me relax, which was rather odd actually. How can something that makes your heart race like crazy make you feel calm at the same time?

"Are you serious?" someone approaching the open backdoor said.

"Indeed. The last thing I heard was that he moved in with that guy," the man was whispering and I figured whatever they were talking about was something that I was not supposed to hear so I took a few steps away from the door along the wall so they would not be able to see me as long as they stayed inside. Still, I could not help myself from listening in on their conversation.

"You're kidding me, right? How do you even know that the rumors are true?" The first one speaking sounded like Uzuki Yugao while the other who was providing Yugao with some kind of information was most likely to be Gekko Hayate. Whatever they were talking about, it appeared to be private. I was not always one to pry in people's personal life, but those two love birds were the king and queen of gossiping and I figured they might have some interesting things to say. Not that what they said should be taken seriously since they tended to exaggerate everything. But hey, I am only human, gossip is a part of our nature.

"Apparently Shikamaru caught him and another guy kissing at his cousins party and he found out from Tenzou that he moved in with that masked freak." What? This story sounded strangely familiar to me. And who other than Kakashi wore a mask? But could it be...? "I still can't believe that you haven't heard of it until now. Most of us have known for some time," Hayate said and stopped in his place, Yugao doing the same thing. They stood right in front of the backdoor.

"It doesn't surprise me that Hidan would do something like that since he created that bad reputation himself a long time ago, but to think that someone like Iruka was barking up the wrong tree... It's just... Wow... It's beyond my imagination," Yugoa sounded almost disappointed. I froze.

"And now he's on to the next guy. He sure doesn't waste any time. After hearing how he was as a child, I would have never guessed that he was the promiscuous type." Yugoa could not help herself from laughing at Hayate's comment.

"You can't always judge the book by it's cover, you know?" It sounded like Yugoa agreed with him despite of what she said. They started walking again, their voices getting lower as they got further and further away.

"Probably not, but I've had this weird feeling around him ever since I was told this. I feel like he's staring at me and I'm not the only one who thinks that. I bet he's looking for his next victim," Hayate said with dislike in his voice.

"Well, I'm a girl so I should be safe, right?"

When I could not hear them anymore, I was left stunned and speechless. They know, but how? I thought to myself trying to pick out the puzzle pieces they had given me during their conversation.

Had Shikamaru really been at Hidan's party? And what did Hayate mean by his cousins party. Were Hidan and Shikamaru cousins? But even worse was that now... now everyone thought that I was gay? And they thought that I was dating Kakashi? So this was why they had all been staring at me like that. Of course, how stupid could I be; Kakashi had already told me that he had been with another guy when he had found Hidan and I. If one saw something like that, they were practically bound to pass that information on and everyone in the entire village would know within a few days. It was just an unwritten rule and I was sure that most small villages worked like that.

My heart started pounding faster and I felt something that I had not felt in a long time. This burning feeling that took over my entire body and nearly forced me to my knees. I could not remember having felt like that in years, at least not as strongly. I dropped the cigarette and my fists tightened. I was staring into space.

Was Shikamaru trying to ruin everything for me?

oOo

I looked around me as I stomped through the supermarket. My hands were sweaty and I barely managed to swallow all the spit I was producing. If I was not careful, I was going to do something stupid once I found Shikamaru and confronted him about this thing. I was almost sure that I had seen him at work that day.

It turned out I was right because suddenly I found Shikamaru chatting with one of the male customers. Luckily, he did not see me and I was close enough to make out what they were saying.

"But how come he's not sick himself then?" the customer asked and raised an eyebrow at Shikamaru.

"I've heard that you can bear the disease without being affected by it, but you can still transfer it to someone else. I'm pretty sure it's the case here. I mean, Iruka obviously feels guilty for infecting his boyfriend so now he has moved in with him so he can make up for his mistake," Shikamaru said with an almost evil grin on his face. The guy beside him looked at him in astonishment and put on a dissatisfied look.

He was spreading more lies about me. That snake was ruining both mine and Kakashi's reputation!

The burning feeling in my body intensified. My eyes were watering, but not because I was about to cry, merely because it felt like they were in flames from staring so intensely at Shikamaru that lying rat. I would not be able to stop myself. I was already too close to him.

Suddenly, in what felt like the blink of an eye, Shikamaru was lying on the floor with me on top of him, blood running from his now crooked nose.

I was not able to open my mouth and say anything. It felt like my lips had been sown together and all I was able to do was clench my teeth and keep on punching. Shikamaru was helplessly trying to protect his face with his hands, but my fists broke through his barrier every time. I felt the anger as a lump in my throat. It was almost like time stood still.

No matter how many punches I lay on him, it did not seem to make a difference. I did not feel any better, but I could not stop myself from continuing.

There was blood on my hands, blood on my clothes and his, but most of all there was blood on his face. My body tensed up every time my knuckles connected with a part of the younger mans face. I did not know what I was doing. I was just doing it. Like I had always done it when I was younger.

I partly returned to reality when a pair of arms wrapped under my armpits and folded behind my neck. I could barely move in this position and was dragged away from Shikamaru within a few seconds.

"Stop it!" the man holding me shouted right into my ear and held me tighter as I closed my eyes and tried to wrench out of his grip and get back to Shikamaru.

"Let go of me! I'm going to kill him! Let go!" I screamed desperately and got him to loosen his grip just enough for me to slip one arm out, draw it forward and then throw it back till my elbow hit his face. I immediately went for Shikamaru again who was still lying on the floor, but just before I could grab onto his shirt, someone tripped me and I fell to the ground on my stomach. Two seconds after my face and body was held down with such force that I could not possibly move out of the spot.

I shouted death threats, wrenched the best I could and screamed in rage.

It took four men to get me under control.

When I was too exhausted to keep on fighting or screaming, I lay panting on the ground with several kilos on top of me. I was finally coming back to consciousness. I had not really been unconscious, it was more like a black out. Nevertheless, my eyes opened slowly and I looked over at the body that lay not far from me. He was not moving.

The police came about ten minutes after and I was handcuffed and led away. For a long time, nearly half an hour, I only remembered what had happened vaguely, but it all came back to me gradually. It had all happened so fast. I was over him before you could even get to snap your fingers. Why had this happened to me? I was not like this... At least not anymore. I had learned to control it. I knew all the warning signals; the sweaty palms, the burning feeling in my body, the feeling of losing control., but I had not been able to stop it. Not this time.

oOo

When I woke up the next day, I was cold and felt dirty. I did not recognize the smell of the place at first, but it did not take long until I realized when I had last been there.

"I said get up! Someone is waiting for you." I opened my eyes and looked at the police officer who was standing on the other side of the bars. My eyes were stinging and my whole body was sore after sleeping in such a poor bed.

Silently, I got up on my feet and went over to the door, which he opened.

"You're free to go since you're not getting charged with anything." The policeman followed me to the desk where another policeman provided me with some standard information – nothing that I had not heard before. I was then free to go and I went outside where I found a car and a brown haired man waiting for me.

It was Tenzou.

Without saying much to each other, we agreed that he would drive me home from the lockup. It was not until we got home to my place that he spoke. He had never really been fond of speaking in public.

"You're lucky that I was able to get you out of this mess... again," Tenzou said disappointingly as I sat down on a chair, elbows boring into my thighs and dropping my head into my hands.

"I know," I did not really feel like speaking, but Tenzou knew me all too well and did not plan on letting me get away with it that easily.

"His face is all swollen and you broke his nose. In fact, you almost broke mine too." I did not answer him, just kept my face hidden.

Silence fell upon us and I heard Tenzou walking around in the kitchen for a while before settling down on a chair opposite me. When the water in the electric kettle slowly began to boil, I figured he was making tea or something.

"I thought you had learned to control your anger? It's been so many years since you last blacked out like that." My eyes were closed behind my hands and I pretended like I was not listening. I wanted to be alone. "Iruka-san, the least you can do is answer me after I made sure you did not have to go to prison!" he sounded angry now and in a way I could understand why I was getting on his nerves. But could he not just leave me alone?

"I don't know what happened, okay! I don't know what else to tell you?" I looked up at him despairingly and dropped my hands to my lap. "I'm sorry. I can't explain what or why it happened, it just did."

"Is it because of the rumors?"

I shot him a deadly glare and answered, "It's not true." he just shook his head and looked at me seriously.

"I don't care if it is or not, I only want to know if that was what upset you?" I started avoiding his gaze again.

"Maybe... When did you even hear about them?"

"I asked Hayate-san yesterday if he knew what reason you could have to want to attack Shikamaru-san like that." Hayate that creep. But he was not even as big a creep as Shikamaru. "So... Aren't there any truth to the rumors at all?" he sounded confident when speaking. It was not a nervous pause he had taken in that sentence, more like a rhetorical pause.

"I told you alrea-"

"I know, but I don't believe you," he cut me off and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why else would you get so mad at him all of a sudden. You haven't raged like that since..." he did not say it when he saw the look on my face that was pathetically begging him not to mention anything about my childhood out loud. He sighed heavily and nodded slightly. "I think you should seek help, Iruka-san. Your issues with your past will not disappear just because you choose not to think about it anymore."

"Forget it, I'm not going to a psychologist again." I did not know what he was thinking. He was perfectly aware that the last one I had went to was not able to help me. It might have been many years ago, but I did not trust those people, they could not help me.

Tenzou was staring at me for a couple of seconds before he rose to his feet and went to stand in front of me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him and listened carefully as he spoke, "Iruka..." I knew he meant serious business whenever he said my name without the honorific behind it. "I know you will never burden me with your problems even though I'm willing to listen. But you cannot live like this forever. You need to talk to somebody about this whether if it's me or not. Just get it done so you can move on." It felt kind of nice and reassuring when Tenzou touched my shoulder like that. It showed me that he was not disgusted by the rumors like the others were even if I had not completely rejected them.

He was right. He had always been there for me and he had always helped me out ever since he took me under his wing when I was just 15 years old, but I had never really appreciated his help or taken his hand whenever he stretched it out to me. I had simply ignored his kindness.

"Thank you for everything. But... I wanna be alone for awhile," I said, yet again not showing the appreciation or respect that Tenzou actually deserved.

"I understand. If you ever need me, you know my number." I nodded and expected him to turn and walk away, but instead he continued, "You do know, Iruka-san, this is nothing personal, but you can no longer work at the supermarket." I kind of figured that out already, but it still came as a shock to me.

"What? But... what am I supposed to do? I can't just go out and find another job. How the hell am I supposed to pay for rent?"

"I can't help it. Shikamaru-san demanded that you were fired if he was to let go of the charges. My hands are tied here. It's not like any of the others dare to work along side with you anymore anyway and the customers who saw you are terrified of you now," he apologized, but his voice was still firm.

"Wait a minute, so Shikamaru gets to keep his job, but I don't? He is the reason for all of this!" I rose so I stood toe to toe with Tenzou, staring him into his eyes with eyes filled with anger. I never meant to become so infuriated, but I could not help it. It felt like all my resentment had been locked away inside of me and finally been released the day before by Shikamaru and now I was not able to close the door again. Even if I did manage to close the it just a little, the rage was most likely to leak out from under the door. I did not know how I was going to stop it.

Tenzou just stared right back at me, fearlessly. "You shouldn't be so ungrateful! This is your only way out of prison!"

"I don't care, prison is better than getting kicked out on the street! You are the worst-" I was stopped in the middle of my sentence when Tenzou slapped me across my face. Probably because he wanted to knock some sense into me before I said something that I would later regret.

I placed one hand on the cheek where he had left a burning red mark and looked at him surprisedly. I was literally tongue tied.

"I'm sorry about all of this, Iruka-san, but there's nothing we can do to change what you did. I suggest you pack your stuff and leave this village. You used to talk about going to Tokyo, right? Well, I think it's time for you to go now. The memories you have from this village are holding you back so you can't develop properly, but it's not like there's anything that's stopping you from leaving anymore. Firing you is probably for the best. It's time for you to move on." He turned on his heels and walked to the door. I was used to that firm tone that he used with me, but this was different. He sounded more like a caring teacher or something than an employer. He looked back at me after opening the door, I had not moved out of my place. "I wish you luck, Iruka-san."

I sat in the very same position long after he was gone. Was he right? Would it be better for me to leave the village? It was not like I would have anywhere to stay, soon, when I could not afford living in my apartment anymore. I understood what he meant and agreed with him on almost everything. But... I could not help myself from thinking of a certain person when the words, "... it's not like there's anything stopping you from leaving," echoed in my mind.

If he had said those things to me just about a month ago, I would probably have left and never even thought of looking back. But that was past time. Back then, there was not anything keeping me from leaving the village besides from my apartment and my job. But now. Now I had nothing. Nothing besides from a newly gained friendship. Not to mention the first real friendship I had ever been involved in. At least the only appropriate one.

But could I get myself to leave now that I had Kakashi?

oOooOooOo

More hints to what Iruka's childhood has been like and now he has to face a difficult choice that he is forced to take... LOL xD! I think there was more action in this one than the previous ones since the two last chapters were more like fillers that showed you how Kakashi and Iruka's friendship develop, why this shows how the story itself is developing.

I don't know if it turned out well though *sweat drop*...

I should probably get more practice.

Thank you for reading :)