AM I BACK? NO. NOPE. I GOT NOTHING. JACK SQUAT...NAH! I'M JUST MESSING WITH YA!
SYLUX: WHY WOULD YOU WRITE A HUMOURLESS CHAPTER IN A COMEDY FANFIC?
FIRST OF ALL, IT'S NOT TOTALLY HUMOURLESS. AND SECOND OF ALL, BECAUSE I NEEDED TO TEST MY SKILL IN WRITING OTHER STUFF.
SYLUX: SO, YOU DECIDED TO KILL THE MOOD OF THE ENTIRE FIC?
YEP! AND NOW...
Chapter 10: A night of self-reflection.
Popstar Embassy:
Tac was terrified. They just collapsed and started sleeping. Who does that? No one, that's who! "C'mon, guys! This isn't funny!" No reply. "I don't get it! What could have done this?" He grasped his head and squeezed. "Think...think..." Then it hit him. "The Fountain! That's it! It must be the Fountain of Dreams! But...who could mess with the Fountain of Dreams? It's not easy...no, it's near impossible! Think Tac...Nightmare is dead...who else could it be...no Kirby killed him...she's dead too...AGH! It doesn't make sense! Wait...Nightmare...or...!" Tac began a panic attack. "Nononononono! It's not possible! But it has to be! It's DARKRAI!" *And...cue scary thunder!* He bolted to the dorms, getting there so fast I don't need to put a line and say 'Meanwhile, at the dorms:' Tac couldn't believe it. Everyone was asleep! "Not good...not good! What do I do...wait, why aren't I asleep?" Tac wasn't very observant of obviousness. So...yeah, let's just wait for a while.
Two hours later...
"...Is it because I'm cooler than them?...No...no one is cooler than Captain Falcon..."
One hour later...
"...Is it because I'm tougher than them...hmm..." He walked over to Gannondorf and poked him. If you expected Gannondorf to hilariously punch him, sending him through the wall, you'll be disappointed when I tell you he did that. EXACTLY THAT. "Well...it's not...ugh..."
Another hour later...*Hint please?* *Roster*
"I'm not on the roster! That's it! Darkrai is targeting the Smashers for some reason...but, I thought Darkrai was a Pokémon...why would a Pokémon do something so sinister...ugh...I'll never understand...I need help...HeadMaster Hand!"
Inside Captain Falcon's dream...
'C'mon, Douglas...one last lap...' CF was back at the Grand Prix, and he was tearing up the track! He was at least 3 laps ahead of everyone else, and the goal was within reach...then he heard something...
"I'm gonna fly like Captain Falcon, mommy!"
"Jamie! NO!" CF slammed the brakes. Slammed them like never before. He slowed down, but that just allowed him to see it coming...
"Kid, get off the road!" CRASH. "NO!" Falcon jumped out of his car as it went skidding on its side. He didn't even look back at the explosion as it hit the wall. "KID! KID!" He dashed towards the child and collapsed on his knees. "No...NO!" He doubled over and slammed his fist into the ground. He picked up the child's body. The surrounding area grew dark...then it got totally black. "Kid...wake up...please..."
"It's hard being the guilty one, isn't it?", said a ghostly voice. CF turned around and saw a sight that brought his heart into his mouth: the Grim Reaper.
"A-Are you here...for this one...or..."
"I'm not taking your soul, Douglas. I don't even want one as wretched as yours." CF was confused, but it didn't show because of his terrified and guilty mood. "You, a man who inspires freedom and self-expression. Look what your 'inspiration' has done to that child. He went out in the way you inspired: Showing you his moves. It sickens me."
"You...you're...right..."
"I know you see yourself as a man of awesomeness, but just look at your ego!" The Reaper struck the boy with his scythe. The boy's soul lifted out of his body at the same time his corpse turned to dust and scattered in the wind. "The deed is done. Now, if you'll excuse me..." He vanished, leaving a black, smokey outline behind to fade away. But his voice was still there. "Maybe you should take off your helmet and leave it off. You're a disgrace." CF's eyes began to water. A single tear ran down his cheek and he reached for his helm...
Inside Meta Knight's dream...
A peaceful breeze blew from the east. Meta sat on the cliff, watching the waves of Orange Ocean roll in. No matter when you came here, it looked like sunset. It was always beautiful. Absolutely beautiful...
"Ah, so nice here...isn't it, Galaxia?" The sword didn't speak, but he knew the sword was alive. The living blade for those worthy...Galaxia. "I don't think I could ever get rid of this sight, no matter what."
"Nice to know you have mercy towards the enemy regime." Meta swung around and saw none other than the Grim Reaper. "Y-you can't be here for me...I'm to young and healthy." Meta sheathed his sword. "Why do you appear before me?"
"To shed light on your poor loyalty towards chivalry."
"You dare?!" He lunged at the figure of death, with predictable results. The Reaper simply caught him in mid lunge and hurled him off the cliff. Meta opened his cape and his wings came out. He glided back up the cliff. As he went over the top, the Reaper slashed his wings with his scythe. Meta spiraled down, crashing onto the shore of a rocky tidal pool. Pain went surging through his body and he screamed in pain. He lay there, panting. He felt like his insides had exploded. The Reaper floated down from the cliff and landed on the ground beside him.
"Now maybe you'll listen. You obviously lack a knightly code. Where is your lord?"
"I...I haven't...got one...yet..."
"'Love the country of your birth.' Your goal is to destroy the regime of Dedede and establish your own. How is that loyalty?"
"..."
"One last thing...even if you do crush the regime, what would you do to the land?"
"Establish towns...the world would be changed...a Popstar Empire...all of Gamble Galaxy...ours..."
"'Ours?' You speak as though you intend to share power." The Reaper leaned closer. "Who with?"
"...I don't seek take-over, but...revolution..."
"Mercy towards the enemy. Strike three. You don't deserve this." He reached for the hilt of Galaxia, and drew the sword from its sheath.
"No...no..." Meta leapt up and grabbed the sword, but received a powerful electric bolt when he did. He screamed in pain, and collapsed onto the ground, gasping for breath.
"Vile creature." He kicked Meta into the tidal pool. He layed there, face to the sky, barely breathing. "Even your sword doesn't see you as worthy anymore." He threw it on the ground beside Meta. "I won't take it, but you know you can no longer pick it up." And the Reaper poofed out, black smokey shadow left behind. "If you were a real knight, you'd appreciate the simple joys of life, instead of relying on a sword."
Meta crawled out of the pool and coughed up water. He looked at the sword. He reached for it. It slid away. Meta put his hand down. He turned around and looked at his reflection in the orange water. 'Galaxia...'
Inside Mario and Luigi's Dream...wait...wha...?
"It's-a the year of Luigi!", Luigi yelled before dancing around. He was at his house, and he was obviously overjoyed. "Hey, Mario! Get down here!", he yelled up the stairs.
"I'm-a coming, sheesh!" He slid down the banister and began to dance with his bro. After about 5 minutes, Mario had an idea. "Hey, remember that-a dance we wanted to-a do?" Luigi's eyes opened wide.
"You don't-a mean..."
1 minute later...
"Ladies and-a gentlemen...introducing...the New Super Idiot Bros!" Mario came sliding out of the kitchen wearing nothing but a white buttoned shirt and a pair of tighty whities. Oh, my mistake. As he turned around, I saw that he was wearing a pair of shades. He was looking at an audience of cardboard cut-outs of practically every one of their friends, from Peach to Goombella to Link to Geno and a horribly mutilated Bowser. Luigi slid out wearing the same crap as Mario. As they began to dance, the wall broke into a million splinters of wood with a large boom. "What-a the..."
"This is the Mario Bros home?", said a ghoulish voice. "How pathetic..." Luigi was terrified. Mario stood firm. The Grim Reaper simply floated.
"Who the hell do you-a think you are?!"
"I think I'm the Grim Reaper, and I'm here for Luigi..."
"No! Take Bowser instead!" He pointed at the deformed cut-out.
"Oh geez...you guys are sickos!"
"What-a are you talking about?", Mario asked. "That's a prop from-a the world peace play in-a the Toad Town Kindergarten class-a."
"Oh, remember-a when the guy in the Toadsworth costume mauled Bowser with a stalk of celery?"
"Oh yeah! That wasn't-a as funny as the children dancing around-a him dressed as-a angels singing hallelujah, though!"
"Haha! Oh, then-a when God and-a Satan invented purgatory so neither of-a them would have-a to look at him ever again?"
"HAHAHAHA! Yeah...that-a was awesome...oh, then when-a the little girl-"
"SILENCE!" Mario took up a fighting stance and Luigi cringed in fear. "You are coming with me, green-bean!"
"No!", screamed Mario as he caught the scythe by the shaft right before the blade hit Luigi. "Stay-a away from my bro!" Mario jumped up and spin-kicked the shaft, breaking it apart. The Reaper tried to strike Mario with his bony, clawed fingers, but Mario side-stepped. "I could-a use some help here!"
"I'm-a coming!" Luigi began shooting fireballs and kicked the Reaper in his face.
"That's it! I'm done fooling around with you two! Graaaa!" At that moment, the world went gray. Everything stopped moving. Mario and Luigi were stuck in mid-air, and they and the Reaper were the only things not gray.
"What-a is going on?", screamed Luigi.
"Release-a me and fight fair, you-a sicko!"
"I'm death. And like life..." He struck Luigi with his clawed hands, causing Luigi's body to disintegrate and his soul to leave, moaning 'Marioooo!' Mario watched his bro vanish in horror, the only thing surviving being his hat.
"...death isn't fair."
"NO! LUIGI! BRING HIM BACK-A YOU SICK BASTERD! YOU CAN'T DO-A THIS!"
"He can't come back because he belongs to the Underthere now. His game...is over. If you were only stronger...I might have lost."
"You can't guilt trip-a me, you monster! You will be sorry!"
"I am already. It was your fault he was dying. You fed him poison mushrooms."
"That-a isn't true, vile being!"
"It is. You doubt the word of Death itself?" No answer from the plumber. The Reaper poofed away. "You learn from mistakes. But mistakes always cost a price..."
The room regained colour. Mario fell to the floor. He grabbed Luigi's hat and clung to it tightly. He closed his eyes as he began tearing up. "Luigi...come back..."
Inside Link's Dream...
"I'm soooo bored...", said Link as he slumped in Epona's saddle. "It's soooo boring here...ugh...all my enemies are dead already...I hate my lives..." He slumped lower. "Hyrule field is so boring..." Lower. "Clock Town is so boring..." Lower. "The Lumpy Pumpkin is so boring..." LOWER. "Hehe, Lumpy Pumpkin..." He got a bit higher. "Annnnnnnd...bored again..." Lower. "Oh, I know, I should ask someone out!", he said as he rose up all perky.
"HEY!"
"Oh Naru..." Navi popped out and started talking.
"Listen! I think-"
"I think I didn't press up on the C-pad!"
"You never do that any more!"
"That's because you never shut up!"
"That's because it takes a lot to get through your thick skull!"
"What do you want?!"
"I want you to remember you're dating someone!"
"Zelda broke up with me yesterday!"
"Whaaat?!"
"Yeah, she said I don't listen when girls are talking to me."
"I can believe that..."
"SHUT. UP."
"MAKE. ME."
"Get back in the hat! And while you're at it, get me this months rent!"
"FOR THE LAST TIME, I don't owe you any money for sleeping in your hair! It's filthy anyways!"
"Showers haven't been invented yet!"
"Neither have relative dimensions, but you still have infinite space under your shield!"
"Go nag Red then! He doesn't have a limit on his bag!"
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Navi flew under Link's shield.
"Hey, get out of there!" Navi flew out with the Megaton hammer. "What are you doing?!"
"SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE DONE A LONG TIME AGO!" She raised the hammer as Link cringed in his saddle. CLUNK! Navi hit herself. "Nighty-night..." She fainted and fell on the ground.
"Ugh! Freakin' finally! Now, who to go ask out..."
"Link? Is that you?" Link turned around to see Malon of in the distance..
"Hey Malon!" He spurred Epona forward. As he drew closer, something weird started to happen. Malon went from looking 20 to thirty...and the forty...then eighty...and then...
"Oh my Din! MALON!" Link spurred forward at top speed. By the time he got there, Malon was a decayed corpse. "Malon! Malon!" She decayed to the point of being a skeleton, then fell into a pile of bones. "MALON!"
"Don't act surprised. It always ends this way." Link turned around and saw the Reaper.
"YOU! YOU DID THIS!"
"Of course I did. And I've done it before."
"What kind of sick-"
"Listen to me. It always ends this way. You are born, you grow up, slay evil, become a hero, and finally die. Then, you, Zelda, and Gannondorf all come back to life, but no one else does. You three are always reborn. Everyone else dies but once. You sit there and watch people grow old as you draw comfort from your own immortality. And it sickens me."
"I didn't ask for this!"
"But you have it." The scene changed from the field to Hyrule city. "Look around you, what do you see?" Link saw rapid life spans. One moment, there were kids at the bazaar asking for candy, then they were adults who turned away and walked home, then they were piles of dust being blown away in the wind. "You can't enjoy life anymore because you've seen it all. You will always endure the sands of time so long as Din, Faroe, and Naru look out for you, but no one else has those beings to comfort them like that. They pray, but don't always have their prayers answered." He poofed out. "Go rot in a hole, immortal. Oh wait...you can't."
Link watched people die non-stop. "Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!"
Samus's Dream:
"I choose you, Pikachu!", said Samus as she threw the Pokeball towards centre stadium. *Wait, why am I a Pokemon Trainer?* *I'm getting to it, geez.* *AM I DRESSED AS A LASS?!* *Oh god! HELP!*
-
Samus's Dream: Take 2
Samus, the awesome person she is, was in her awesome ship flying through space to a strange world that wished to join in the Federation that Samus made awesome by being in it. *Can I stop sucking up now?* *I'm still in a skirt!* *You wouldn't take it off!* *Because you won't type me up my Power Suit!* *Busy working!* *Get bent!* Suddenly, a wormhole opened up right in front of her ship and she flew right in.
"What the hell?!" Sparks flew from the walls of the wormhole and struck the ship on all fronts. "Increase power to shields..." A bright flash enveloped everything. "Aaah!"
Next thing she knew, she was lifting her head off the ground. "Ugh...what...ugh..." She put her hand on her head and opened her eyes. The world around her was bleak. A barren planet with what looked like a space colony. And a familiar one at that... "This...this can't be..." Her mouth opened in terror. She was...home. She stood up, but as she did, she realized something. Her Power Suit was gone. Not only that, but everything of hers was gone. All that she had was her skin-tight jumpsuit and her scrunchie. "What's going on?" She looked around. It was a ghost town. It was her home, but it looked...devastated. The houses were burnt. There were bodies in the street. A cloud of dust was settling. It looked like something had exploded within the hour. "This can't...no. No. This isn't real! It's all fake! It can't be real!"
"Samus?" That voice...Samus turned around to meet it. It was...her mother.
"M-mum?" She was tearing up. "N-no...it's not..." Her will broke. "Mum!" She ran towards her mother at record pace. Her mom collapsed to her knees as Samus hugged her, burying her face and sobbing.
"There there...it's all right...mummy is here..."
"Don't leave! Please! Never leave me again!"
"I'm not going anywhere..." But promises are made to be broken.
"Gyaah!" Ridley swept in and seized Samus's mother. At supersonic speed, he flew away.
"NO! MUMMY!" She gave chase. Unfortunately, even Chozo DNA wasn't good enough, and Ridley was over the horizon in a matter of seconds. "NO! NO, NO, NO! NOT AGAIN! GET BACK HERE YOU BASTERD!" She tripped and fell flat on her face. She sobbed into the dirt. "Come back..."
"Family binds us together." Samus looked up. "You're not like the others. I pity you."
"I...died. That's it. I died in that wormhole and now you're using me to get your kicks."
"Believe what you want. I don't care. Your family is gone, and you've no reason to fight." Samus leapt up and seized the Reaper's scythe, yanking it from his grip.
"I always have a reason to keep fighting."
"So it seems. Just listen."
"Why should I? I've got nothing to hear."
"But I've something to say. Family holds society together, and it can tear it apart. A scuffle, and battle, a war. All things we fight for family. But you have an endless war with Ridley and the Space Pirates."
"I'm fighting for justice."
"You're fighting for revenge. In fact, it's more than revenge. You fight them out of pure hatred. Pure, sheer hatred. I actually admire it a bit. Any human being with that much hatred would indeed make a good soldier. A perfect soldier. It's a passion I haven't seen since the Crusades. Men leaving their homeland to smash a whole race just because one man says it's right...that is the passion of a good soldier."
"What's your angle?"
"You gear every fibre of your being towards the destruction of the Space Pirates. You love nothing. It's not because you have a black heart. It's not because you have nothing to love. It's just because you have all of your energy dedicated to destroying them. You are full of pure, seething hatred." The Reaper vanished without his scythe. "You keep it. After all, you kill enough people to use it. Gyahahah!" Samus looked at the instrument of Death.
"No...NO!" She threw the scythe away. But it floated up off the ground and put itself back in her hands. "NO! GO AWAY!" She threw it again. As it floated back up, she began to run. It gave chase. "NO! STAY AWAY! I'M NOT DEATH!"
Lucario's dream...
Lucario was in the forest. The great forest he grew up in. He walked down the path, taking in the wonderful scenery. He sat and closed his eyes, breathing in the air. No matter what happened, he would always love this place. "To bad it will be over soon..." He got up and started walking down the path. Then he saw it...the clearing he had always come to play in with Ralts...until he grew up and Ralts became Gallade. But there was someone else in the clearing today...
"Ah, Lucario, I've been looking forward to meeting you." The Reaper floated closer, the grass he passed over wilting into black, decayed matter.
"Well, I guess you don't know the meaning of 'meet'." The Reaper stopped dead *I get it!* in his tracks.
"What do you mean?"
"Meeting me in a dream is like meeting me over the phone. We're not really together."
"What makes you so sure this is a dream?" The Reaper sounded a bit worried.
"Simple. Even in a dream, I blink. And when my eyes are closed..." He used Extreme Speed and seized the Reaper by the arm. "...I'm supposed to see the aura of all living things." He Force Palmed the Reaper right in the chest. The Reaper went flying back, and his illusion was shattered. "Hello, Darkrai."
"More intelligent than you look, hmm? I mean, where did you get those looks? Your mother?"
"At least I didn't inherit the looks of the moon. I didn't think you could have so many craters." *That's not in the script...but it's good...*
"Hmph." They began circling the centre of the clearing, staring each other down all the while.
"How's the memory loss?"
"What do you know about that?"
"Palkia shattered the Dimensional Hole you were traveling in. You should be totally lost, wandering without a purpose."
"I found someone who knew the secrets of the mind. He brought my memory back from the edges of time and space."
"Who?"
"Wouldn't you like to know. But, that isn't any of your business."
"I'm still confused about why you're targeting me. Why not go after Palkia himself?"
"I'm actually targeting all the Smashers." Lucario stopped, and Darkrai followed suit.
"Why?"
"Testing all of your wills. And might I add, they aren't very strong."
"Everyone suffers in a nightmare, you should know that."
"I do. But this isn't the kind of nightmare I usually make."
"What did you do? Mess with the Fountain of Dreams?" Lucario chuckled. Darkrai sat there, more serious than ever. Lucario ended his lax mood. "You didn't?!"
"Ah, but I did."
"Those fountains harbour dangers you can't fight, Darkrai. I learned this from Meta Knight: A demon of dark powers rests in them."
"You think I'll buy that?"
"How did you even get into that universe? You need someone from there!"
"Oh, I've got an aquatance who was more than happy to let me in. Oh...but look at the time..." Lucario turned around to see the sun setting. "That sun and the sun in the World of Trophies are in sync. I really should be going..."
"NO!" Lucario once again used Extreme Speed, but Darkrai vanished.
"I don't think I'll be doing this again. But just you wait, I'll be back...with my allies..." The world began to crack. The sky began to fade, and the world around Lucario literally shattered like a glass bowl. Lucario began to fall towards the bottom of the void. He fell...and...he hit the ground.
End...? P.S. I OWN NOTHING!
SYLUX: BOO! HISS!
SHUT UP!