Me: I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. And happy Halloween!
Sylux: First of all, its November 1st. Almost 2nd. And speaking of second, why would you make ANOTHER humourless chapter?
Me: What are you talking about? I put jokes in there!
Sylux: But none of them are funny.
Me: Get out!
Sylux: So, what's your excuse this time.?
Me: Oh, various things. Many, many things. XD
Sylux: ...Did...did you just SPEAK emoticon?
;D
Sylux: You...aren't even worth insulting.
Chapter 11
Final Smash! Part 1
Location...who knows...
"Ahhhh!", Lucario screamed as he sat up. He instantly looked around himself. All of the Smashers were on beds in what looked like a large sick bay. Everyone had wires with suction cups stuck to their faces. "What the...are we being...probed? Oh Arceus! I'm to young to be abducted!"
"Well, looks like you're awake." Lucario knew that voice. He looked at the door. It was professor E. Gadd!
"E. Gadd? You're probing us?" Then it came back to him. He growled at the thought. "Darkrai..."
"What...what's going on...?", said Popo as he sat up. He wasn't the only one. Everyone started to wake up. They all were dazed and confused, and Pikachu even hurt itself in confusion! *Boooo!*
"Well, how were the nightmares, everyone?", E. Gadd asked. Everyone but Lucario looked utterly lost. "That's what I thought...no one else remembers...well, maybe that's better..."
"Care to explain what's going on?", asked Daisy.
1 Hour Later On the S.M.A.S.H. Rooftop...
Everyone had taken their seats. Masterhand, , and Lucario stood facing the crowd. E. Gadd spoke first. "Well, I must say you all gave us quite the scare. If it weren't for an anonymous tip, you'd probably would have died. It seems Darkrai inflicted you all with a type of nightmare that convinces your brain to stop working. In your dreams, you literally lost the will to live. Most of you went brain-dead for quite some time."
"What-a saved us?", asked Luigi.
"Lucario says he noticed a lack of aura in his. He shattered the dream world you were all in. He also got some info for us that is quite intriguing. First of all, Darkrai used the Fountain of Dreams to make the nightmare."
"That's impossible.", Meta Knight said. "You can't control that thing. It puts too much strain on the brain because you're linked to the minds of everyone."
"And yet he did it. I don't know how, but we do know how he got there."
"He says he's got allies.", said Lucario. "We know he's got someone from Kirby's universe, but who else he's got is pure guesswork. He also says he was testing our wills and found them weak. He says that he found a male who knows the secrets of the mind, and he said he'll be back with allies."
"So?", Sonic leaped up. "Let's just go kick his ass!"
"It's not that simple. Someone let him into the Popstar universe. Who knows where else he could be?"
"We've got the greatest heros and some of the greatest villains on our side.", began Snake. "They can't possibly be a threat."
"The smart thing to do now is be vigilant.", E. Gadd said. There was a loud groan from the Smashers.
"Be vigilant? Really?", said Popo. "If this turns out like some TV show, I'm gonna lose it!"
"Try not to think of it that way.", said Master Hand. "Now, go home. Tomorrow is Friday. And we've got a special course for the end of the day." More groans.
"We have to do more work?!", complained Link. "Din damn it!"
"Relax", said Gallade. "They just want to test our Final Smashes!"
"How...oh, right. Psychic.", said Bowser.
"So...it's just the newbies that have to do anything extra?", grinned DK.
"Them, and anyone who wants to change theirs.", said Master Hand. Eyes lit up like Christmas lights.
"So...we-a can make ours better?", asked Luigi.
"Yep."
"Yippee!"
Dorms:
"My Final Smash is gonna be better than yours!", sneered Waluigi.
"No one beats the Landmaster!", said Fox.
"No one but-a me!", said Mario. "My-a new Final Smash will-a pulverize you all!"
"Not in your life, plumber.", said Sylux. "A tank is one thing. But you won't beat me!" He stopped. Without moving a muscle, he said "Samus, get out of my room."
"What are you hiding?", asked Samus as she rolled out in Morph Ball form.
"Nothing. What are you hiding?" He kicked her down the hall and she went out of control, bouncing all over the place until she was stopped by Luigi, who held her under his foot like a ball.
"I wanna try!", said Lucas.
"Hey-a, Mario.", said Luigi. Mario nodded. He ran up to Samus and kicked her with his Super Strike. Wario jumped out and caught the thing before it went through the wall, but with a Super Strike, it was pointless. It happened too fast to be seen by the human eye. On moment, Wario was blocking the ball, the next, there was a Wario shaped hole in the wall and a twinkle in the sky.
"Team Rocket's blasting off again!", screamed Pit.
"Boooo!", said Gannon.
"So, is that your Final Smash this year?", asked Krystal.
"No, no. I've-a got something better."
"Not better than mine!" They turned around and saw Knuckle Joe with a sack of some sort.
"What're you doing here, pipsqueak?", asked Toon Link.
"First of all, you're on my list. Second of all, I came to give you guys these candy bars as a 'thanks for trying' gift." He reached into the sack and pulled out a variety of Nestle brand chocolates.
"'Thanks for trying...?'", pondered Marth.
"Yeah, cause, y'know, your Final Smashes all suck compared to mine!"
"Oh, so it's a challenge you want, huh?" Daisy stormed up to the Thai boxer. Luigi ran up to her.
"Uh, Daisy...", he began when she kicked him in the crotch.
"Not now, Luigi!" She turned her attention back to Joe. "You think you can beat me?"
"Upside down and asleep!", he growled.
"Well then, I bet you my tiara you can't!" Joe rubbed his nose, despite not actually having one.
"Tempting...what do I lose if you win?"
"How about you become my servant for a week?"
"Deal!" They spat in their hands and shook.
"C'mon, guys.", said Link. "You really think you can measure how awesome a Final Smash is? I mean, what if it's really close? How would you decide it?"
"With a referendum!", declared Daisy. Joe looked completely lost. "A national vote. If we can't decide, we ask the citizens of Smash City! We could give a public demonstration and-" Joe cut her off.
"No good. Mine would cause an earthquake. It's simply too dangerous."
"So what?", said Gannon. Everyone glared at him. "I'll just...uh...stop staring at me! Your eyes are penetrating my soul! I LIKE BUNNIES!" Everyone's jaw dropped so far down, their jaws almost dislocated. *Actually, Link's did*
"I owe you twenty credits, R.O.B.", said Bowser Jr.
"Score 1 for the Secret Hunter!", declared R.O.B.
"The what-a?, asked Mario.
"I'm talking about my weekend job! I'm getting my own T.V. program!"
"What?! How-a did you swing that?!" *By the way, this is the part where Joe walks out, bored*
"I'm connected to the internet, and I can supply my own equipment. I signed an online contract. Now, people hire me to bust chops!"
"Equipment?", asked Waluigi.
"Yep, I'm a camera, a sound board, a van to get around fast, and, best of all..." He extended his body and his Caterpillars spread out, revealing a mini conveyor belt between his legs. "I can make my own doughnuts! Though I don't really need them..." The male vets started drooling as they saw the choclate-coated, rainbow sprinkled, and jelly filled pieces of goodness rolling out from between R.O.B.'s...legs...? They lunged! "Waaah!" He propelled himself away at blinding speed, with 28 ravenous Vets (Red still has his Pokemon's money and Wario was somewhere in the Skyworld) and 100 Pikmen chasing after him.
"Stupid boys.", Samus said. "All about the football and the food."
"Yeah, boys all suck.", said Nana.
"I take offence to that.", Bisharp stated.
"Are you sure you don't wanna be here?", asked Gallade. "I mean, Smash Bros-"
"Is awesome, yes yes, it's all good in the World of Trophies, I got it, geez!"
"Take a chill pill man!"
"Tch!" Bisharp jumped through the wall and ran towards the woods.
"Isn't that...?", began Daisy when Blaze cut her off.
"Yep. That's the location of Popstar Embassy."
"What do you think is gonna happen to him?"
"With Meta Knight, who knows." Glomp! "What the-Kirby!" Kirby had put his mouth around Blaze's Smarties, and consequently, her hand. "Get of me you bastard!"
In the woods...
"Stupid Gallade, draging me into this!" Bishap just kept running into the dense vegetation. "Stupid Smash Bros! Stupid stupid stu-" He froze in his tracks. He sniffed the air. 'Venison' He silently scanned the perimeter. Then he noticed it. A medium-sized buck was standing to his left, half hidden in the shadows, watching him. 'Should I?' He locked eyes without moving. After a few seconds, he decided. "The hunt is on! Kia!" The buck fled, and he pursued it. But then the buck jumped a ditch formed by a stream. A BIG STREAM. Hell, it was more like a river! Well, no time to think. Or stop. He was already off the ground. "Kia!" He was almost across the gap when something sharp struck him from behind. "Aaaaaah!" Splash! Into the river he fell. It was surprisingly deep. When he surfaced, had a fish in his mouth. He spat it out. "Blargh! I. HATE. FISH."
"Why? It's better than venison." Bisharp looked up. Bio Spark was hanging from a tree branch like a monkey. "Can I have my kunai back please?"
"YOU! YOU INTERRUPTED MY HUNT!" Bisharp tried to stand, but found no footing. There was also something in his back. He pulled it out. "Argh!" A kunai. He glared at Bio Spark. "You're lucky I'm mostly made of blades."
"Yeah yeah. Just give it back."
"Why should I?"
"Because I can get you special permission to hunt on OUR LAND."
"Wha...this is the forest you guys bought, isn't it?"
"Yep. So, you want the rights?"
"I do." He tossed the kunai back. Bio Spark caught the thing with a quick flick of the wrist.
"Thanks. Come by tomorrow. I know where the deer spend the afternoon." He jumped onto the river. That's right. Onto.
"Are you Jesus?"
"Nope, I'm a ninja. Good-bye" He threw on his magic cape thing and vanished.
"Uh...hello?" No reply. "At least help me out of here!"
"Nah." Bisharp had had enough.
"Night Slash!" Do I need to describe what it looks like? No? Good. Anyways, Bisharp sliced through the water so powerfully that the once quiet river become an ocean in the middle of a hurricane. "Tidal wave!" The water went over the top of the ditch and threw Bisharp halfway through a tree. "Ugh! Of all the Ratatta bastard, no good, son of a-"
"Need some help?" Bio Spark sliced through the tree before Bisharp could say '*censured* off'. What a clean-cut! Bisharp popped out, good as new, and Bio Spark gave him a quick pat on the back (though he had to jump to reach). "That'll be 22 credits. Nah, I'm kidding."
"Do you EVER shut up?"
"No. It's probably why I'm not that great a ninja yet. But I can't help it! Whenever something interesting happens, I just get all excited and start hopping around like this!" He started doing quick little stomps all over and occasionally hopped to the left. Then he stopped short. "Besides, I'm wierd. But enough about me! Why are you here when like, everyone was threatened by MK?"
"I'm not scared of anyone, no matter how scary you think he is."
"I'm not scared of him! I just know he's got, like, 500 years of swordsman training. And an army. And a giant flying fortress. And woah look at the time! I've gotta meet with HeadMaster Hand!" And he started to hop around like mad again.
"Stop over working yourself."
"I'm not. I just really need to...PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" And he dashed into the woods and vanished.
"Humph." Bisharp turned around and left, not noticing the metal robo-spider following him.
Night time at the dorms...
It was quiet. Most people had gone to sleep.
"Ouch! My foot!" I said most.
"Shut up, Ike.", whispered Marth. "I'm already having enough trouble trying to sleep."
"Why's that?" Ike was trying to open the Kit Kat Knuckle Joe got him. AND FAILING. He was trying desperately to tear it with his teeth. As a result, he stubbed his toe on his dresser after he gave another fierce tug. "Ow! Son of a bitch!"
"Watch your mouth. And it's because of that whole deal with Roy."
"You mean how he's gay for you?" Hit his head off a shelf. "Ow!"
"No, how he wears his socks. Of course I mean the whole gay thing! It's creepy man. He's been in here for three nights with us. While I was sleeping." Marth shuddered. "I swear, if he-"
"Guys, can I come in now?", called Roy from the other side of the locked door. "I promise I won't do it again..."
"Do you even know what 'it' is?", Ike asked.
"Being gay with blow-up dolls. I'm not stupid! So...pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!"
"Only if you promise you'll become Christian."
"Never! Long live Set and Odin!" Marth facepalmed.
"I thought you were going to STOP preaching your own religion..."
"Never! The spirit of Venus will forever hold purpose in the Eleventeenth Church of Shoop-da-woop! Bwaaaa!" Amy now called the tune as she burst out of her room, with some even worse beadhead than before.
"Roy, it's almost midnight! Shut the *censured* up!" There was applause throughout the building.
"Only if you guys don't crack any gay jokes at me for a week!"
"No deal!", shouted Gannon as everyone walked out of their rooms. "Now keep the pink rodent up so Sonic will see the bags under her eyes come morning!"
"Fine!" Roy took a deep breath in. He held for what must have been a whole minute before he pulled a move so dark, so evil, so disturbing, that you might want to stop reading and take some medicine for your stomach before you keep reading...
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"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES! BA-DUM, DUM-DUM! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES! BA-DUM, DUM-DUM! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S..."
"Din, Naru, FARORE! ONE OF YOU GUYS, MAKE IT STOP!", screamed Link.
"AND THIS IS HOW IT..."
Roll the clock back about thirty seconds, and let's go see Meta!
Mety and Joe were looking up at the stars. It was-
"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON..." They jumped twenty feet in the air and landed on their heads.
"What is that awful noise?!", cried Joe.
"It's Roy! Singing a song! Noooooooooooooooooooooo!", screamed Meta, flailing his arms.
Back at the dorms...
"...AND THIS IS HOW IT..."
"GANNON! IS IT WORTH IT?!", screamed Amy, who was covering her ears.
"A little, yeah!", he screamed back, also covering his ears.
Sylux, who had turned of his suits...uh...ears(?)walked up and slapped Gannon upside the head. He then turned his Shock Coil on Roy, who fell to the ground, one leg twitching like a squished bug. "There." He turned his attention to Marth. "If you can't control him, I WILL." Marth drew his sword. "Nice try, but I outclass you, pretty boy. Now, put your toy away and you don't end up like Roy."
"I can counter."
"I can take two tonnes of pressure to my head. And that's the weak spot."
Marth got an idea. "What if we Brawl it out? Loser has to keep Roy."
"Deal." Marth held out his hand. "I'm not touching that."
"I get it!", said TL. Everyone either laughed, or groaned.
END. P.S., I OWN NOTHING!
Me: Quick, people, I need help!
MK: Who are you talking to?
Me: The readers.
MK: WE HAVE READERS?! HOLY CRAP!
Me: HA. HA. HA. Anyways, I need to know: Final Smashes for Peach, Daisy, Knuckles, Amy, Krystal (PLEASE don't say Landmaster), Roy, and, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ARCEUS, NARU, REDDI, AND CHUGGACONROY, Waluigi. I can't do the next chapter without all of them. So, someone, anyone toss me ideas!
MK: So, these readers...do they like you at all?
Me: I'm not psychic...but...wait! Aren't you supposed to be doing my homework?