Chapter 28

Kakashi was struck dumb. He stared into space like he was trying to comprehend my speech. I could never blame him for keeping quiet even though the silence was making me uncomfortable. After all, I would probably have reacted the same way as he did if I had been in his shoes.

"There's just one thing I don't understand," he said suddenly and looked at me. "Why didn't you just tell Zabuza this? I'm sure he would have understood."

My eyes glided away from his shaken figure. "You're the only one I've ever told this. Not even Tenzou knows all the details." I did not doubt that he could then figure out himself why I had not told Zabuza and instead acted violently.

"Re-really? So... Why did you tell me?" I glanced at him for a short moment before biting my lip in frustration. Was it not obvious by now why I had told him and no one else? Had not he listened to any of the things I had told him?

"Because I trust you and you're-" I paused, giving my response another thought. "You're my best friend." Kakashi should be well aware that I had not had any real friends and comparing Minato and him was my way of declaring that he was indeed my best friend. But since nothing seemed to come through to him – which was probably just due to shock – I tried to be as plain as possible.

"I-I am?" Kakashi stuttering was something you did not hear very often and so I treasured the memory of being able to make him talk so insecurely.

"Yeah."

"Well, that's nice to know. Especially since I consider you my best friend too."

I snorted in amusement. "You know, you're not obligated to say that back."

"I know," he answered simply and smiled. I, of course, could not help but smile back at him. Somehow, the situation just felt very nice. That was my first time telling that story. My story. And never in my entire life had I imagined to get such a calm conversation after blabbering on about how my life had been before I met Kakashi. But that man could ease my mind even when I thought it was not possible. He was something - that was for sure.

I looked straight ahead with a quiet chuckle, the smile still playing on my lips "I always thought Asuma and you were the closest."

"Nah, he might be my oldest friend, but we're not that close. He's a cool guy, but like the others, he doesn't always get me."

"What do you mean?" I put on a puzzled look when eyeing him. His smile grew wider.

"I just think you and I are more alike so we get each other better. Maybe that's why I've always found you easy to talk to and be around in general."

My jaw nearly dropped when he claimed that the two of us were "alike." We were nowhere near alike. Kakashi was this awesome person who was considerate, unprejudiced, kind, funny and an overall easy going guy. I, on the other hand, I was not easy to talk to, I always had my defenses up, I was a narrow-minded, half-wit, stubborn donkey that cared about no one but myself. How could he ever compare us? In which way could he possibly think that we were alike?

I chortled and shook my head lightly, "I don't think we are very similar."

For some reason, he grinned back at me. "More than you think," he said in that overly happy tone only he could use without sounding sarcastic.

He only confounded my confusion. What did he mean by that?

It seemed like Kakashi picked up on my bewilderment and I figured he was about to expound just what he meant. But the next statement did not clear out anything.

"Why do you think I wear this mask?" he asked and pointed an ultramarine blue fabric. That stunned me a bit. He had never brought up his mask himself.

"I don't know. Never given it much thought," I lied, shrugging. He raised a suspicious eyebrow at me. He probably had not forgotten that night where I had persistently asked him about his mask. Besides, anyone would at least give it some thought once in a while since it was not a very common sight. I exhaled heavily and smiled restfully. "Fine, of course I wondered. But I've no idea what it is you're hiding."

"It's funny how you assume I'm hiding something."

"Then am I wrong to assume that?"

"Do you wanna see for yourself?" I stared at him rollickingly, not having expected him to say something like that. Could he really mean it?

I nodded slowly, trying not to look as giddy as I felt.

He carefully hooked one finger under his mask. Hesitatingly, he glanced away from me and a loud sigh escaped him. It was probably not meant for me to hear so I did not react on it, even though his dubiety made me want to tell him to stop.

And suddenly, the mask did no longer cover his face, finally revealing to me what he actually looked like. It all happened so fast. How did I go from flipping out to calmly telling Kakashi my life story and then him taking off his mask? It was unreal. Why was he even showing me?

When my mind stopped wandering, I focused on studying his face. He was nothing like I had imagined. I had tried not to set my hopes up too high and just imagined him as an ordinarily looking guy. Well, it was not like there was anything unusual about him either, but somehow he managed to look... almost perfect. No, he was perfect.

My eyes took a walking tour down his clean-shaven face. His face was shaped almost as an inverted triangle. The jawline and chin were narrow and the forehead was slightly wider with a low hairline, though that was hard to see when the fringe was styled the way it was. The thick spikes kind of hid away his forehead.

I looked closer, wanting to take in every single feature he possessed. The only thing I had ever been allowed to see was his eyes and thank Kami he did not cover them with eye patches or something. His always half-closed, slightly slanted eyes were my favorite part. One glance of his enchanting gray irises and those small black dots that passed for pupils were enough to stop any man or woman in their tracks. At least if he wanted to do it, he could.

The new attributes were his small, pointy nose and thin lips that were twisted into an insecure smile. It surprised me a little to realize this because all I had ever seen was the confidence that had always radiated from his eyes. But without his mask, all there was left was an uncomfortable expression. In a way, he looked rather shy. Or maybe that was just the not-so-noticeable dimples that made him look like that. They were small and not very deep, but they were there, giving him a cute, sort of young appearance.

I think my staring made him even more pale and careworn. The discontent face did not make him less beautiful. It just made him look like more of a living art piece.

"My childhood can't be compared to yours, but for me, being the only kid with acne wasn't easy."

Acne? I took another intense look at his face and was surprised to discover that I had not even noticed the quite rough skin texture. The pimple scars were evident, I just had not given them much thought since they had not bothered me. You could call it a flaw, but it did not make him less perfect. Not to me.

"No one is flawless. It's up to the individual to judge whether or not something is perfect. When you find someone perfect, it's only because you're able to look past their flaws. So stop running yourself down. I think you're perfect just the way you are."

I smiled inwardly. Sensei always knew all the right things to say. Some problems might seem shallow to some while the same problems might be life defining for others. I should not think badly about Kakashi for hiding his face even if I found his reason fatuous. It was obviously a huge problem for him. At least it had to be for him to constantly hide behind a mask because of it.

"It's water next to what you've been through, but I've never been as mentally strong as you. That's why I look up to you so much," he continued, stunning me in the process.

"You... Wha-What?"

He... looked up to me?

"I don't know, it might be a weird thing to say, but I'm not afraid to admit it. You're a very admirable person."

An admirable person. Me? I could not agree. Had he not listened to a single thing of what I had just told him? I was the kind of person parents would not let their children near by because I was the ultimate bad influence. There was not one admirable thing about me.

"I wish I was," I replied flatly and looked away from him.

Kakashi laughed, "Self-critical as always. Oh well, I guess it's better than being a coward." He made as if to put on the mask again and at that moment, I did not think. Suddenly, I was holding onto his wrist, preventing him from covering his face. He looked baffled.

"Leave it," I said quietly, my tongue moving on its own. It was as if I had no control of my own body anymore.

I stared at him. It was strange how much he reminded me of Minato. The way he spoke, the words he chose, his pearls of wisdom, his laid back attitude, everything. I missed him so much, but whenever Kakashi was with me, the nostalgia was not as intolerable.

My eyes could not be torn away from his slightly opened mouth. He had a fine set of teeth. A bit discolored, but not more than you could expect from someone who drank as much tea as him.

"Iruka, what are you doing?" He sounded confused, maybe even scared, but his voice was still gentle.

A hand ran over his cheek, a breath hit his face.

Kakashi looked up to me.

"I-Iruka, wha..." he paused when the hand on his chest forced him to lie down on the bed he already sat on.

I felt drunk, but I had not had nearly enough alcohol for that to be the sinner. Regardless of how sickeningly sentimental it might sound, I was drunk on him. His presence alone was enough to get me tipsy.

He looked at me with widened eyes. I was not about to do something to him that we had not done before, but I suppose it was different when we were not actually drunk. I just could not wait anymore. For once I was following my instincts.

I lowered my head, his fast breathing becoming louder the closer I got.

The feeling of victory slowly spread throughout my body. My eyes were already closed.

I opened them again when my lips connected with his skin. If only it had been the thin, fragile skin on his lips that had met with mine. All hope vanished when I sat up straight, looking at Kakashi who had turned his head and placed the back of his hand on his cheek to prevent me from kissing him.

He had a mixed look on his face and I could not figure out how to interpret it. Was he disgusted, sorry or perhaps just overwhelmed?

I turned my head away from him and brought my hand up to my face to cover my embarrassment. It seemed he was just as confused as me.

The mattress was relieved from some pressure when Kakashi got up on his feet.

"I-Iruka, I'm... I'm sorry. I-I didn't kno-know you-" I held a hand up to stop him from talking. I did not want to hear it when I already knew what he was going to say. There was no need to apologize - it was me who had been the misjudging idiot.

He did not move around for a moment, but at last the door closed and I was left alone.

A tear let go of my chin and dropped down onto my pants. I could not remember crying since that day... That day Minato abandoned me.

oOo

I found myself walking down the street, hands in my pockets and the cool evening breeze blowing through my loose hair. The last thing I remembered was leaving the house after walking in on Hidan and Kakuzu while they were in the middle of another quarrel. It had happened a lot lately and it was always about the same thing. Zabuza. If Kakuzu was to give up soon, it probably would not come as a surprise to anyone. Hidan needed to seriously pull himself together if he wanted that relationship to work.

How pathetic. Was I earnestly wondering about their relationship? Maybe I did so just to get my mind off my own problems. It was never easy to get rejected, especially not in my case. If Kakashi really was not gay in any way - which I doubted because who the hell would do the things he did to me if he was not the slightest bit gay? - then was that the end of our relationship? Obviously, it was going to be awkward between us after my straightforward confession, but was that enough to make him never want to see me again?

The thought of it made me feel a pang in my heart. We could not end it like that. I needed him.

I started rubbing my temples. Why did I do it? Why could not I just keep my disgusting lusts locked away. If I had not done that, Kakashi would still be by my side on the bed.

Twice had I ruined the bond between me and the person that meant the most to me. What was wrong with me? Was I purposely destroying and chasing away everything that meant anything to me?

All the questions accumulated, which resulted in a strong headache.

"I'm such an idiot. Sadomasochist. A fucking retard," I mumbled under my breath and was thankful that no one was around once I realized I was actually speaking out loud. I must have looked like a real freak. Well, it was not like it would make much of a difference to the villagers. They probably did not expect less of someone like me. And they were right. The moment I tried to kiss Kakashi, I only confirmed their suspicions. I was a loathsome fag.

My head bounced up from its position on my chest when suddenly I heard someone cry out. What the hell? I thought I was alone.

I followed the screams that took me to an alley nearby. It was dark and the street lights did not reach all the way inside the alley.

"Hello?" I asked carefully as I took a few steps forward. "Is anyone here?"

No one answered, but I could still detect some muffled sounds of resistance. I could not be sure what awaited me inside that alley so I took my cellphone and turned on the flashlight to try and cast some light over the situation. That was when the cone of light fell on two people. A frightened woman whose mouth was covered by a hand belonging to cloaked man who was looking right at me. I registered the red clouds immediately.

The man got up and walked towards me with rapid steps.

"Piss off," he snarled with his small, intense eyes fixed on me. A pocket knife was raised and it glinted when reflecting the light from my cell.

Why did I always have to get myself into a situation?

He took a swing at me out of nowhere with the hand in which he did not hold the knife and he hit me on the jaw, causing me to take a few wobbling steps backward.

When I looked up at him again, he was standing with his arms akimbo, exposing those sharply pointed teeth in a wide grin like he had already won the battle.

"Better get out of here fast or else I won't be able to assure your safety." I massaged the spot where he had hit me while trying to figure out what to do.

That man was damn scary with that blue Shrovetide make up all over his face. He had even painted three gill like lines underneath both his eyes. Maybe I was not such a freak after all?

"What's wrong? Too scared to move?" he laughed as he got closer to me.

My heart started pounding faster and faster. There was no doubt that he was being serious. I had to do something if I did not want to wind up either completely battered or possibly dead.

"You sure are cocky," I replied and got a proper footing, getting ready to fight.

He started laughing loudly. "Did you hear that, princess? Your knight in shinning armor has come to rescue you. How sweet." While he spoke, I hurried to put away my cellphone. That's my chance! I thought when he looked over his shoulder towards the girl behind him.

I leaned forward, just enough for me to properly reach the knife he held at head height, and I hit him with both my hands simultaneously as fast and hard as I could by the wrist and the back of his hand. I had never used that method before in practice, but it was my only shot at disarming him.

The tricky part was to hit him just right and with enough power for him to let go of the knife. When you strike someone on the back of their hand, they may let go of whatever they are holding, but with a big guy like him, I figured there would not be enough force in a slap like that. His arm was most likely just to move to the side and so he could easily cut me once he gained control of his arm again. That was why I hit him on the wrist on the same time. When hitting his wrist, I would prevent his arm from moving so the entire rap would be taken by his hand alone. Also, when hitting him on the wrist, his hand would curl inward, forcing his fingers to loosen their grip around the knife a little.

To my surprise, it actually worked. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined it to be possible for someone like me to make that trick work, but it did. I thought only people like Chuck Norris, ninja and martial arts performers would be able to pull a stunt like that.

I was stunned for a moment, but luckily, I got back to reality pretty fast again. The astonishment was written all over his face as he looked the way the knife had flown. I could not afford to let him gain his composure so I acted quickly, striking him on the chin from the bottom and up with the lowest part of my palm. He stumbled backwards and I swept closer, kicking the back of his knee so he lost his foothold completely and fell to the ground on his back.

I looked up at the girl quickly to see if she was okay. My eyes had already gotten used to the dark. It appeared that she had not been cut or beaten too badly and she was calm given the situation. I was lucky that she was not the type to get involved and just end up getting in the way.

"Argh," the man exclaimed in pain as he sat up. He was more than amazed to discover that I was already behind him, pressing the blade of the knife against his neck. It was amazing how fast and strong you got when facing a threat. Adrenaline had to be the most dangerous hormone ever.

It was at times like those I was happy that I was not an inexperienced fighter.

"Don't move," I said, making sure he was aware of the knife's whereabouts.

"You're not gonna get away with this. I'm not finished with you yet!" he shouted angrily and tried to get up, but sat back down instantly when feeling the cold metal pressed harder against his skin.

"I told you not to move, didn't I?!" He flinched and cursed. "Hey you," I yelled without letting my eyes off the blue guy. "Get out of here, now!"

The girl began to move around and soon she ran past me.

"So what do you do now, huh, big guy? Are you gonna kill me? Call the cops? Try and see if you can restrain me for that long. I'm getting impatient here." I looked at the knife for a second before replying him.

"I'm doing neither of those things." I raised the knife and used all of my strength to stab him as hard as I could in the leg before taking off in the direction I had seen the girl running off to. The guy I left behind shrieked in pain and shouted death threats, asking me if I had no idea of who he was. I was perfectly aware of it. He was one of the Akatsuki, but in the situation, there no time to think future consequences through. I had no other choice but to do whatever I had to in order to survive.

When I caught up with the girl, she looked at me with fearsome eyes, not slowing down.

"You better run as fast as you can 'cause I can't assure you that he's not gonna come after us." She nodded and I realized how much she was actually panting. She probably would not be able to go on for much longer. Who knew how long she had been struggling against that guy before I came by.

I guided her through the city and did not stop until I found a spot, which I thought looked safe.

She fought for breath as she bent over and placed one hand on the side of her stomach, presumably because she had a stitch in her side.

"Are you okay?" I asked, she not being the only one gasping for breath.

"I... I thi-think so," she stuttered and looked up at me as she stood up straight again. "Tha-thank you for sa-saving me."

She was not a very tall girl and she looked to be around a few years younger than me. Her long black hair had a purple cast when the moon light hit it as it danced along the wind. I sank loudly when she stared at me with those pale blue eyes. How intriguing they were.

"I should walk you home. Where do you live?" I asked and she wiped away some of the mascara that were off track. It seemed like my question frightened her a bit.

"Uhm... I... I live ju-just over there." She pointed straightforward and I nodded. For all she knew, I could be another assailant that were taking it a step further by trying to enter her home. I did not blame her for being scared, but I could not just leave her there and there was no way she was going to believe anything I had to say. Only my actions could speak for me.

"If you're ready, let's go then. I don't think there's any chance of that bastard following us anymore so we can take it easy from now on." She did not protest when I started walking in the direction she had given so I continued. She was right behind me.

It took about ten minutes to reach her apartment. A lot longer than I had expected. Part of me was not even sure if she was just misleading me so I would not know where she actually lived in case I was a freak like that blue guy. But once she found her key and unlocked the door, all of my suspicions disappeared.

We had not talked at all on our short walk to her apartment, but I did not need her to speak to figure out that her trembling body was due to my presence. But once she had one foot inside the apartment and I stood a good few meters away, she finally found the courage to talk.

"Tha-ank you," she stuttered quietly. I sent her a calming smile.

"No need to thank me, but I think you should notify the police about this."

She nodded lightly a few times. "I-I will." She took a hold on the door like she wanted to get inside and close it really badly. Her hint was loud an clear.

"I should head home. Take care and don't walk around alone in the middle of the night again, okay?" I did not wait for her to answer, just turned around to walk home. But she stopped me in my tracks when practically yelling.

"Wa-wait!" I sent her a questioning look from over my shoulder. She was blushing. "I... I was wo-wondering if I could ha-have your name?"

"Sure. Umino Iruka." For the first time, she smiled.

"I'm Hyuuga Hinata. Thanks a-again, Umino-san."

"No problem." I waved at her and she returned it before I resumed my walk home.

What a crazy night it had been, but I was proud of myself. Definitely. Even after getting rejected by Kakashi, I still had some confidence left in me to step up and fight that guy and after leaving that girl's doorstep, I had an amazing feeling inside my body. I suppose I should have been scared after an incident like that, but I just was not. Maybe my encounter with that man and woman had only been good for me. At least my mind had gotten a break from circling around Kakashi. Even if it was only for a short while. Hopefully, that break was enough for me to then look at the situation in a different perspective. Yeah, that was it. I should not just give up on Kakashi after one rejection. I had caught him off guard, of course he did not come out and return my feelings all of a sudden. I would just have to fight harder. There was no way the things we had done together meant nothing to him.

Kakashi would eventually be mine forever.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Maaaaan, I don't think I've ever struggled as much with anything before as I have with this chapter. Once again, I wrote and entire chapter, then read through it with my friend and realized just how much I hated it. Well, in this case I was actually pretty sure that I despised it from the very beginning. And so I had to delete the entire chapter and rewrite it all over again -_-' FML...

Sorry for the waiting time. I have a surprise, though, for all the people who would like to know more about Itachi in this story. I've planned out too exclusive one shots that has to do with him. Looking forward to writing them :D!

- Hey, and don't forget the Anything Else? poll on my profile page. Still planning to do something with the winning characters.

Zanezell155 has again drawn an illustration for Anything Else? This time, it illustrated the last scene in chapter 27. Here's a link (without dashes): h-t-t-p-:-/-/-fav-.-me-/-d5dqu2h

thank you, girl, you're amazing and it's always a joy to see what you come up with :D!

And remember, the 150th reviewer gets a one shot so hopefully I'll be able to give away the next one shot after this or the upcoming chapter^^!

That's all for now. See ya' again soon, hopefully :D (School is really catching up to me so sorry if I can't promise any quick updates. I'll do my best, though^^)