Speech Therapy
'Marta, could you please continue?' Miss Rooster said. Marta was shocked. She didn't even know where they were. 'Carolina, where are we?' Marta whispered quickly. Carolina answered: 'Second paragraph on the next page.' Marta searched and began softly to read out loud: 'In 1912…' 'Marta, that took too much time. Your chance is gone. Rosa, could you read on?' 'Yes miss, I always can. I'm always focussed on the text. And when I'm reading, everyone can hear me. That's because that's the meaning of reading out loud.', Rosa said while she looked proudly at Marta. Marta bit her tongue. Rosa's comment hurt like a knife. Marta's hands began to shake. She could feel her eyes were wet. Don't cry, Marta. Don't cry, she said to herself. She just had to blink her eyes. Everything will turn out right. Rosa is just a stupid girl. Marta was trying to convince herself. 'Is everything okay?' Carolina asked. She looked concerned. 'Yes, why shouldn't it?' Marta said as she tried to conceal her feelings. 'I just thought that you were crying.'¸ Carolina said. 'No, Everything is fine. Don't be concerned. It's not necessary.' Marta said. She was not important enough to worry about. She was just a girl whose feelings were confused. Marta looked out of the window. She saw the garden of the school and the beautiful flowers. She always loved the garden. The flowers were always so beautiful and the garden was peaceful. When she was at home, she could walk there for hours. Marta loved to be alone in the garden. It gave her feelings of being save. Maybe that was the thing she just wanted to do when school was over. 'Marta, miss Rooster is looking at you.', Carolina said softly. Marta was immediately focussed on the exercises. What were they doing? Oh, that exercise from the text. She already made that one and she was sure she did a good job. Brigitta had helped her to do these exercises and although she didn't want to say it out loud, she had to confess that Brigitta was an excellent teacher. She always helped her and Gretl with their homework and that was very nice. She could explain everything and was always willing to do that. But unfortunately, Brigitta was also very strict and when Marta was not concentrated, Brigitta became very angry and told father. Marta didn't understand why she and Louisa were still living in her father's house. They were old enough to take care for themselves and didn't need father anymore. Marta would give everything to leave the house and take care for herself. She was convinced that she could do that very well. She always had looked after her sister, so she could also take care for herself. She would go far away from her father and his rules. The sound of a ringing bell brought her back to normal life. 'Marta Von Trop, I just want to talk to you.', Miss Rooster said. Marta sighed. She didn't want to talk to her teacher. She hated that, because Marta held the view that teachers didn't have any rights to know personal things about students. She packed her stuff slowly and watched her classmates as they walked through the door. 'Good luck, maybe you should speak louder.', Rosa said. Marta ignored her. 'Marta, I'm concerned about you.' Miss Rooster said. Marta felt that she was going to be angry. Why could no one leave her alone? Why did people always pick on her? When was she able to turn the tables? Slow down Marta, she thought. 'There's nothing to concern about me. I'm fine.', Marta said. 'But why are you so absent?' miss Rooster asked. 'I… I don't know.', Marta stammered. 'When I see you I see a girl who is very insecure and shy. A girl who tries to hide her feelings and conceal her grieve. A girl who is not happy, but she pretends to be a happy girl so the whole world is satisfied. I'm not saying something that's strange, am I? Marta shook her head. Unfortunately, her teacher was right. She tried to please everyone. But it was better. Better for everyone she knew. Marta did her best not to cry. 'Everyone is satisfied with the way I'm living. Why is that a problem?' Marta said. Miss Rooster shook her head. 'When are you going to stop the hiding? You're such a beautiful girl. You already have the strength to carry on when life is hard. You know what it is to have real pain. Most of your classmates haven't got a clue, but you know how difficult life can be. But you also know how beautiful life is and you just have to celebrate it! That´s why you just have to stop hiding yourself. You must learn to be yourself.' Miss Rooster said. Marta looked confused. She didn't understand what her teacher was saying. Had she really more life experience? She didn't believe that. Her classmates had also suffered. Learn to be yourself. It sounded so easily. But that was not the truth. It was a hard job and she couldn´t do that. She was too weak. Marta looked at the clock and was startled by the time. She had to go home very quickly. She had her speech therapy and her father didn't like waiting. Marta didn't hesitate for a second and ran away. 'Marta, what are you doing? We were not finished yet!' Miss Rooster yelled. Marta didn't look and tried to ignore the sound. You'll have to run quickly. Father would be mad if you're late, a voice said in her head. You just had to shut your mouth, but you didn't. And now you have just to learn to be yourself. And you know you can never be yourself. She hated this voice. It had to stop. Marta ran through the garden into the house. ´Marta, is everything okay? Brigitta asked. Could it even be worse? Brigitta always knew exactly when something was wrong. 'No.', she answered while she was staring at the ground. Louisa walked into the room. Marta didn't understand why Louisa was at home at this time. She should have been at the university. 'What happened?', Brigitta continued. 'I don't feel like I want to share it with you.', Marta said quickly. 'Marta, just tell us. You can trust us, you know that.', Louisa said. I know you so well, Marta thought. Marta shook her head. Couldn't they understand that it was none of their business? 'It doesn't matter. I won't tell it. It's none of your business.' Marta answered. 'But now we're not able to help you. Please tel lus.', Louisa said. 'I don't need your help, Louisa. Just leave me alone.', Marta said. She could feel she was angry. Calm down, count to ten and smile again. That what Marta had to do. 'Why are you always so stubborn? You just have to learn to speak what's inside of you.', Brigitta said. One, two, three… It didn't work. 'And you should learn not to mess up someone's life with telling people what they should do.', Marta yelled. 'You are not saying something nice or do you think I really appreciate your words to your sister?' Georg said suddenly. Marta glared for a second. She forgot that everything could turn out more worse. 'Sorry Brigitta and Louisa.', Marta whispered. She didn't feel guilty, but she pretended to be. 'It's fine.', Brigitta said and continued: 'You just have to know that I'm willing to listen to you.' 'And we only want to help you.', Louisa said. 'I know that. Thank you.', Marta said. She couldn't help it, but her words irritated her. Brigitta and Louisa were not Marta's mother or Maria. But they tried to be. That's why Marta thought that Louisa and Brigitta had to leave the house. 'Well, Louisa en Brigitta could look after Gretl. Is that possible?' Georg asked. 'You can count on us, father.', Brigitta said. 'I know that, that's why I love you so much.' 'We also love you.', Louisa said. Marta felt jealous. Her father didn't say it to her. 'Marta, you're speech therapy will begin now.', Georg said. 'Yes father. Who's giving that therapy?' Marta asked. Actually she wasn't interested, but she had to know who was going to tell her what she had to do. 'I am. Let's go to my office.', her father answered. Marta walked silently with her father. That couldn't be true. 'You don't have to this, father.', Marta said with a soft and sweet voice. When her father would give this speech therapy, she knew that she felt nothing but insecurity. Georg opened the door of his office. 'Well, I am gladly to help you, Marta. You'll have to become a member of the family Von Trapp. I want you to become a lady and not an invisible girl anymore. A member of my family is always someone who can speak in public and is also able to stand up for his or her rights.', Georg said. Marta nodded. She knew that these things were very important to her father. He was a proud man and he knew his place in the society. He was so brave. But Marta didn't like it. She just wanted to stay invisible for everyone. Why should she be outspoken? People didn't like her inner thoughts, so she'd rather keep them inside. 'So Marta, I want you to do a public speech. Can you tell me which aspects are important?' Georg asked. There were so many things important in his eyes when it came to public speeches. But there were so many things Marta didn't like. What would she answer? Marta looked at her father and said: 'You'll have to know what you´re going to tell.' This was an important aspect to her. 'That's one thing, but any other important aspects?' Georg asked strictly. 'I… I don't know…', Marta stammered. She could feel her eyes burn. She did know other aspects, but she was not able to say it. Her voice cracked and her legs shook. I'm going to be crazy, she thought. I'll have to focus, father is testing me. I can't make any mistakes. Concentrate Marta, she told herself. Georg glared at her and said: ´Marta, how could you not know anything else? You're not dumb, so don't pretend that you're stupid. Come on, let your words out. Tell me exactly what's wrong with you. Why are you so shrunk in yourself? How could you even be a part of my family when you're acting this way?' Marta couldn't think anymore. She breathed quickly and heavy. I must answer his question, I must say something, Marta thought. Be polite, be quick, be strong, push your feelings away, obey his comments… Marta felt a pain from her chest. She couldn't tell the truth. Keep breathing, keep your vision, don't upset father, keep thinking. 'Marta?' Georg asked. Marta wanted to answer, but the room started to turn around and a second later everything became black for Marta's eyes.