AN: I have been away from FF for the following reasons: I have to write the script for my Forensics Project because we are doing a movie; I also have to get everyone together and find time to film, which is easier said then done. I also have to write the script for my friend's animated movie because she needs to get a good grade in her animation class. I was also assigned a rather long English project in which I have to talk about the negative affects of Pr-ana and Pro-mia sites.

I also have to get moving on making my shadows for my Pride costume before Zenkaikon…ugh!

So far the only thing I've been able to actually finish was my Eulogy that I had to write for my Public Speaking class. Can you guess who I wrote it for? Yep, I did a eulogy for Maes Hughes.

It has just been brought to my attention that in the last chapter I made Sarah a bit OOC, it is a sad day when your own character doesn't sound the way you meant them too. I am going to try my damndest to not do that again. I really hate OOCness, I truly do. I remember once reading this story in which Riza had turned into a shop-a-holic who loved to gossip about the military boys. It was deeply disturbing O_o

My point being that I don't want to expose you to that sort of thing.

Thank you: YesMyLord666, AndAPartridgeInAGrapeTree, PhoenixNoTreble, Sira-the-Awesome, Mellowwy, Elite-chan, XxXPeaceReaperXxX, Sniper Riza Hawkeye, anon0, GasmaskedMook

The walk over to Sheska's home was fairly short but it seemed longer in Sarah's mind. Her thoughts still lingered on what she had head at Headquarters. There was something between those two—Riza and Mustang—and while a part of her was already convinced that there existed a sexual relationship, the other half of her mind was still in firm denial.

"Riza is too good for him." Sarah reasoned

As they walked Sheska's mind was also deep in thought. She wondered what sort of help Sarah needed or why on Earth anyone would ask her of all people. Sheska made brief glances at her awkward and notably troubled companion but did not attempt to pull her away from her thoughts for said companion still bared two stars on their epaulette.

When they reached Sheska's home, they walked up the front steps and Sheska removed her key from her coat pocket. She stuck the key into the hole and turned it. She opened the door, reached her hand inside, and felt over the wall for the light switch. When the lights came on Sarah got her first view of Sheska's mini library.

Her entire home was nothing but wall to wall books. They towered over their heads as they squeezed in through the front door. There were a variety of titles and genres and they were all packed one on top of the other, creating the illusion of aisles. It was difficult to tell the older books from the newer ones as their spines were all well worn form the love that they had received from their neurotic owner.

"She wasn't joking…"

Sarah looked about her with a mix of awe and utter shock but she was quick to readjust her expression back to its muted self, as Sheska turned to her; perplexed.

"I know it's a bit much, you can say it. I'm a bookworm."

It was true that Sarah had in fact been quietly referring to Sheska as "Bookworm" in her head and she had heard others at Headquarters refer to her by that title and very openly too. It was then that Sarah saw how ridiculous it was for her to be there. In all likelihood none of these books in Sheska's home would carry in it the information she needed. Even if they did, in such a mess as this it would not be easy to find.

That was the queerest part about Sheska; she was a hoarder of books but lacked the compulsion to organize them in some fashion. Surely a bookworm would have tried to take better care of her books.

Still Sarah felt the need to remain there for a while. Maria Ross was a wonderful superior but she would never give her the advice that she was so desperately seeking and she could no longer go on day after day with such minimal contact between herself and Riza. In those letters lay the most honest account of Sarah's feelings and thoughts and what she wanted now was to be able to simply say those very words that she had written to Riza.

"There's nothing wrong with it. You have a passion and unlike most people you display it openly…I can't say anything against it…"

There was a long and silent pause that passed between them.

"What sort of information are you looking for?"

Perhaps it was because Sheska and she were so much alike with their mousey demeanor, or perhaps it was because Sarah knew that Sheska would be the last person in the world to tell on her, but either way in that moment Sarah wanted to release herself from the secret she carried. She wanted to be able to tell at least one person that she was in the midst of dealing with the pain that comes from unrequited love.

"It's just…do you recall my writer friend?" Her cheeks were already becoming flushed. Could she actually tell someone? Should she tell someone?

"Yes…?"

"Well…I…I" she stammered heavily.

If she were to tell Sheska the whole truth, would that not make them friends? Would Sheska act unexpectedly and tell someone else? Would she tell her boss, who was said to be Colonel Mustang's best friend? Or would she go and tell Riza?

Her heart was beating faster and faster. What was she doing here? She should have simply gone right home. She should never have even spoken to Sheska. She was a snitch, a damn dirty snitch.

"He…well…he…uhhh"

She realized that what she thinking was simply untrue. She had not spent much time around Sheska before but from what she observed Sheska was a very sweet woman, whom due to respect and fear of someone with a superior rank would not dare rat Sarah out.

If she did choose to confide in Sheska then that would ultimately make Sheska the first friend Sarah had made in Central. It was not as though she had never had friends before. When she was younger and still residing in Pendleton with her father she had many friends. As the years progressed in its endless march, her so called friends began to dwindle away. She was fifteen when the last of her friends quietly walked off.

They had parted without words and without closure but Sarah knew that it had been her fault. Friends were meant to be close; without any secrets between the two. Sarah had struggled to gain such closeness with the other children in her town but all too often she found that her mouth could not be moved to speak; to speak of secrets and truths.

Could she now after so many years disclose the whole truth of herself to someone?

She cleared her throat as she began, "He doesn't actually exist."

"What?" questioned Sheska

"The truth is…the truth is I asked for writing tips because I'm the one who can't write properly." The art of personal expression had never been her forte.

"Oh! So you're the one writing a novel." Spoke Sheska as she thought that she was now finally grasping why these words were so difficult for Sarah to say.

"No…It's not quite like that…"

"Huh? I…I'm afraid I don't understand."

She had brought this discomfited conversation upon herself and was now slowly regretting it, yet the prospect of finally being able to open up with another human being continued to entice her.

She squeezed onto her right arm; trying to fight the urge to dig at her scarred flesh.

"It doesn't matter what I mean. The point is I need to learn how to be….how to be more confident and unless you have anything on the subject I'll be going now. Excuse me." Her tone was harsh and it may have been seen as a bold move on her part if it were not for the fact that her eyes had remained fixed upon her shoes.

As Sarah moved to turn away and try to find her way out of the maze, Sheska stopped her.

"I…actually do have something."

Sarah paused as she thought 'It couldn't be very useful then.'

"It wasn't very helpful though. The woman who wrote it really didn't know what she was talking about."

'Still what harm could it do?'

"May I borrow it?"

"Of course but I could just tell you that it…"
Sarah shook her head "I just want to borrow the book."

"Wait one moment." She went off into a pile of books and as she did a small paperback caught Sarah's attention.

It was just resting on a smaller stack and the book it's self was smaller then most. She could not dare ask to borrow it, the title alone made it seems as though Sarah was up to no good. Sarah quickly swiped it from the pile and placed it inside her jacket and held it there close to her heart. Her face burning up at the mere thought of having taken something without permission. If her father knew what she was up to…

"I've got it!"

Sheska handed her the book and Sarah thanked her, smiling with a mix of terror and excitement as she was certain that Sheska already knew what she had done.

"I'll be sure to return it to you when I've finished. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

When the door closed behind Sarah, she felt the coldness of the night air hit her scarlet face. She could breathe again. Sheska and she were not to be friends and yet she could already sense that she would be returning to Sheska's home.

Upon returning to her own apartment, she turned on the lights and stepped inside of her modest dwelling. Military owned apartments were never anything special.

Sarah removed from her jacket, the book which she had been too ashamed to ask Sheska for. It was called "The Art of Lock Picking". Sheska sure did have some very interesting books at her disposal.

She placed the book on the small wooden table near the couch. She then sat down with the other book and opened it. With the first sentence something clicked in Sarah's mind.

For the next three weeks Sarah kept a watchful eye over Roy and her beloved Riza. In part it was to learn how to be strong enough to speak openly with Riza but it also served another purpose; to find out how close this superior was with his subordinate.

Yes, as Sheska said that book that she had given Sarah was full of nothing but advice on stalking and words of encouragement to soothe any troubled mind that saw any wrong in following the book's advice. It had all be so cleverly hidden under the title of "The Art of Confidence."

Whoever the author was, they were certainly mad. Sheska had been smart enough to see how useless the content in the book would be to any sensible person, which is why she saw no harm in giving the book to Sarah. For surely Sarah was sensible as well.

In truth there was a part of Sarah's mind that saw the sickness of trailing two people around in secret but her heart was not connecting to the sights before her.

She was in love. She needed to do this to grasp even a portion of Roy's over bloated level of confidence and to finally be able to speak candidly with Riza. Besides true problems interfere with ones work ethic and Sarah continued to perform all of her necessary office duties. No interference meant that there was no problem.

The book said that the best way to learn confidence was to emulate the most confident person you could find and Roy was certainly that.

It disgusted Sarah to no end to find just how much of the rumors about the infamous Lieutenant Colonel Mustang were true. He did leave his work for his men to do, especially poor Riza. He did strut around with an undeserved level of self satisfaction and he did live and breathe for any ounce of attention that he could get from the female officers.

What she was waiting for was that sound of laughter. That same laughter which had first led her to suspect something unsavory was happening.

One night she heard it as she was on her way out of Headquarters. It had caught her off guard as it had the first time and that is when she decided to take this voyeuristic game of hers out into the real world.

After the laughter in the office had died down, Roy was the first to leave. A short while later Riza came out. They both left Headquarters from different exits and their cars were parked at opposite ends.

Clearly this was Roy's attempt at trying to hide the obvious from view and the more they went out of their way to avoid one another the more alarmed Sarah became.

She decided it would be best to follow Roy as Riza was the one with eyes at the back of her head and she would surely catch on that someone was behind her. Even during her normal stalking routine, Riza had almost caught her on far too many occasions to name.

The fact that she had yet to be caught was a miracle in its self. The last thing she needed was for Riza to think she was creepy.

She trailed Roy to his apartment building but remained outside and across the street. Roughly 15 minutes or so later he came outside and got back in his car. He was wearing a suit instead of his uniform. She watched from afar as he drove to a rather expensive looking restaurant. He was looking rather glum.

Sarah wondered why and the best she could figure was that Roy was wishing that he could have simply met up with Riza at her apartment, like normal couples do. Sarah may have felt a bit sorry for him, if she wasn't so disgusted by him.

Sitting at the table, waiting for Roy was Riza. She wore a sleek black dress with a flattering neckline, yet she kept her very fashionable jacket on. This too confused Sarah. She watched from across the way as Roy's frown faded at the site of his Lieutenant and it was all too obvious as to what was truly happening. Sarah was in the midst of a love tangle of sorts and none of it made any sense to her.

Riza was a strong and beautiful woman who could easily have anyone that she so desired and yet of all the men and women in Central she chose the one who made her do his paperwork, who fell asleep at his desk constantly, and had been seen on numerous occasions with woman from a hosts bar run by a 'Madame Christmas'. None of it made sense. What the hell was Riza thinking?

Sarah knew that she had little to offer Riza herself but she was certain of one thing and that was, she would never do anything to hurt her. Roy on the other had was just the sort who was destined to break any woman's heart.

'What are you doing? Why him? Why...'

In that moment Sarah felt so completely useless and so disheartened. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. Riza had a chance to find someone good; a chance to be happy and yet...yet she was going for a man who represented the exact opposite.

Then she watched as they kissed. Tears began to fall down her reddened cheeks, in anger and despair. She looked away to where a small general store was and in the moment she found clarity. The kind of clarity that can only be described as the kind that serial killers must feel when they first discover the joys of taking a life. How the world just finally makes sense. The confusion and chaos are obliterated and all that remains is the new end goal.
Yes, that's exactly how Sarah felt then.

She went into the general store in a trance like state. She grabbed a large box of matches from one of the shelves and placed it on top of the cash register counter.

The woman who was running the register gave her an odd look but did not bother to ask why she'd been crying, for it was very clear that she had been.

Afterwords her motions were like clockwork. She found Roy's car parked behind the restaurant and she removed a match from the box.

His car was not your run of the mill Model T. It had a custom paint job and leather seats. Roy had bought it himself and it sure was a nice car.

She struck the match on the side of the box and tossed it into the car; it's windows had been foolishly left down. She then tossed in the rest of the matches and watched as the car seats were swallowed up by the flames.

She then walked casually away, still in a daze.

Sarah gave an inward laugh in her head as she thought "Oh what would my father say?"

EN: This chapter was a bit too much of Sarah doing this and that, so the next chapter I'm going back to writing it in a way were everybody get's their fair share of the limelight.

I apologize and yes the next chapter will be better, I promise.