AN: Warning for this chapter, there will be some non-graphic descriptions of torture. Parts in bold italicsare Samandriel's point of view.

A glint of metal shines in the darkness.

Ambassador Kali's chambers were in a separate tower from the main part of the castle, so by the time Castiel and Michael reached her they'd had plenty of time to get furious about what had happened. Castiel was seeing red and his fists were clenched. He couldn't remember ever having wanted to hurt someone so much as he did right now. If Samandriel turned out to be dead… Well, Kali had better pray that he didn't.

Metal screeching against metal.

Michael didn't bother to knock, just wrenched the doorknob and flung the door open. The two of them took a few steps in and Michael stopped dead. Castiel nearly ran into him before looking around and realizing what he'd seen.

Lying on Kali's bed, completely unclothed and staring at them with wide eyes and pale faces, were Kali and Gabriel.

There was stunned silence for a dragged-out minute, Castiel distantly thinking that he was really glad there was a blanket over them. There were things about his brother he didn't ever want to know.

Kali recovered first, sitting up, not bothering to bring the blanket with her. Castiel looked away. Michael didn't. "Have you boys never heard of knocking?" she said, sounding irritated.

Gabriel sat up slowly, looking as though he was trying to turn invisible. He did keep the blanket up. "Wh-What are you guys doing here?"

Michael gave Gabriel a glare that could have lit a room on fire. "We'll talk about this later." He turned his gaze back to Kali. "I'm here for you."

Kali looked confused and a little of her confidence seemed to seep away. "What now? Here to yell at me about border skirmishes again? Your baby brother come running back in tears?"

Gabriel pulled away from her a little at the bite in her voice. "Kali…"

"Be quiet, Gabriel. I'm tired of your brother's accusations. Your father was never like this, but apparently he didn't pass on his manners to his son."

"Samandriel's dead, you bitch," Castiel found himself saying before the fighting could progress.

Sobs through gritted teeth.

Kali's jaw dropped and all the blood drained out of Gabriel's face. "He's - he's what?" Castiel had never heard Gabriel's voice break before, not even when their father died. He winced, thinking that maybe he could have broken the news a little more gently. But really, what good way was there to say it?

Michael didn't share his concern. "He's dead, Gabriel. The patrol was ambushed by an organized group of Purgavains and outnumbered. Hester made it back alive, everyone else is dead. And Samandriel's missing."

Gabriel had found his pants and was now partially dressed, stumbling out of the bed. "Missing? So then he might still be alive?"

Michael met Kali's eyes dead-on and Castiel had never before been so appreciative of having never gotten Michael really angry at him. "He might be. He better be. But if he is, he's been captured by the Purgavains."

The king stepped across the room, leaning over Kali so that he was only a few inches from her face. She recoiled a little, although Castiel could see in her face that she was still trying to put on a brave front. "If he's been captured, I know nothing about it."

Michael made a noise that made it clear that he didn't believe a word she said. "Then you had better learn something about it. Because I swear, ambassador, if I don't get my little brother back and soon, I will start a war, and I will burn your entire country to the ground if I need to."

He pulled away, gesturing for Castiel and Gabriel to follow. Gabriel did so with a slump to his shoulders, looking at Kali as though he were torn between feeling betrayed and giving her an apology for Michael's behavior.

"Gabriel!" Michael shouted from the hallway, and Gabriel grabbed his shirt and scampered out before the oldest Novak could get any angrier. Castiel followed on his heels, not bothering to look back at Kali.

He bites through his tongue to keep from answering questions.

"Castiel, go tell Balthazar and Anael what's happened and bring them here," Michael instructed him, never taking his eyes off Gabriel, who was nervously shifting his weight back and forth from one foot to another. He was dressed now, but haphazardly so. Michael didn't care much about Gabriel's dignity right now.

Castiel nodded and left, hoping he wasn't going to return to find Gabriel bleeding out on the floor.

He caught Balthazar in the hallway as the older man was heading out in search of a good time. "Hey there, Cas. Want to join me for a drink?"

It struck Castiel as being very odd that Balthazar could be so cheerful simply because he hadn't heard the news. Bizarre that the entire world could look different simply based off whether or not he'd heard one simple sentence.

Balthazar tilted his head, some of his light-hearted demeanor dimming. "Castiel? Is something wrong?"

Castiel swallowed, wishing Michael had come to deliver the news himself. "One of the soldiers from the patrol to the border came back today. They were ambushed. There were more Purgavains than the reports had said."

The look on Balthazar's face was so similar to the one he'd worn when their father had died that Castiel wanted to vomit. He pushed away the mental image of Samandriel lying in a mountain pass somewhere, beaten and bloody and…

Balthazar's voice broke into his thoughts. "And Samandriel? Is he…?"

"Missing. Everyone else in the patrol was killed, apparently, but she couldn't find Samandriel's… She couldn't find his body."

"So he might still be… alive?"

Castiel shrugged helplessly. "I hope so. But Michael pointed out earlier that if he is he's probably been captured by the Purgavains."

"Kali?"

Castiel breathed out slowly. "Already went to her. And you wouldn't believe who she was in bed with."

Balthazar's eyes went wide, and even with the stress Castiel could see a part of his mind honing in on the fresh gossip. "Who?"

"Gabriel."

Balthazar's jaw dropped. "That's where he's been sneaking off to?"

"Apparently. He and Michael are in Michael's meeting room, Michael wants us and Anael to meet them there."

Balthazar shook his head. "God. We're just cursed lately, aren't we? Lucifer, Father, now Samandriel…"

"Stop it. He's… He could still be alive. He could… It could be a hostage situation or something."

"Oddly enough, little brother, I don't find that thought any more comforting.

Castiel really didn't either.

His arm won't move away from the knife that's coming towards it.

The two of them had to go outside towards the stables to find Anael. She was dressed casually, the kind of outfit that drove Michael crazy more often than not, and was apparently freshly back from a ride.

"Hello, you two," she greeted when she saw them. She paused, studying their faces.

"Good lord, who died?"

Both of them flinched and Anael's eyes widened. "Oh no. Who - What - Samandriel?"

Castiel nodded miserably. "Hester couldn't find his body, but they were attacked two weeks ago and even if he wasn't killed-"

"He'd have been taken hostage," Ana finished. She started absent-mindedly twirling her hair around one finger. "What are we doing? What's Michael doing?"

"At the moment he's waiting for us in his meeting room. With Gabriel. Who has been sharing a bed with Kali."

Anael's jaw dropped. "You're kidding."

"When was the last time Cas here told a joke?" Balthazar said, tone distracted, as they began to make their way to where Michael was waiting. "Besides that, Michael apparently threatened Kali with war if she doesn't find a way to make Purgavai give Samandriel back in one piece."

Anael raised an eyebrow. "Does he think the order came from their king? That this wasn't just a rogue group?"

"Just because Michael wasn't the one who wanted to go to war doesn't mean he's any less paranoid about our neighbors than Lucifer was," Balthazar told her.

And then they'd returned to Michael's meeting room and had to stop that conversation.

Blood splattering the floor.

Gabriel seemed to be making an attempt to shrink into a chair when the three of them entered. Michael was still standing and his glare hadn't diminished in the slightest.

"You really expect me to believe that you never told her anything that she wasn't supposed to know?" Michael was saying. "She never asked you something during the afterglow and you just figured 'sure, what could it hurt?' That never happened?"

"No! I swear, we never talked about politics or work, ever!"

"Kali?" Balthazar guessed, simultaneously announcing their entrance and joining the conversation.

Michael nodded, not looking at them, but Gabriel shot them each a look of desperation, silently pleading for them to get Michael to calm down before he killed someone.

"I just find it a little odd," Michael said, and Castiel wasn't sure if he was talking to Gabriel or to them, "that no one near the border had any idea there was such a large group and that the first sighting of them resulted in one of Edengar's princes either being killed or kidnapped. A bit too much of a coincidence for me."

"It wasn't exactly a secret that Samandriel was going out on patrol to the border!" Gabriel protested. "I didn't tell Kali anything! And even if I had, I didn't know anything that wasn't already common knowledge. And Kali wouldn't order Samandriel kidnapped anyway!"

"You have an awful lot of faith in her," Michael said, and his tone made it clear that Gabriel had best choose his next words carefully.

Gabriel swallowed. "We've gotten to know each other pretty well," he offered lamely. "She wouldn't do that. Whatever their king wants, Kali would prefer we stayed at peace with Purgavai."

"I thought you two didn't talk about politics."

"We don't. She's just not that type of person! She- You guys are with me, right?" He looked to his younger siblings for support.

Castiel almost felt like a traitor for not saying anything, but he was fairly suspicious himself. Michael was right, it was too much of a coincidence. Someone had to have told the Purgavains, and right now Kali seemed like the most likely culprit. Balthazar and Anael must have agreed with him too, as neither of them said anything either.

Gabriel's face fell. "I didn't tell her anything, I swear. And I would never put Samandriel in danger, you have to know that at least."

He can see one of his own bones.

"Maybe not intentionally," Michael said in an unforgiving tone. "But on accident? It wouldn't be the first time a disaster had come from someone not watching their mouth closely enough. You know what they say about loose lips sinking ships."

"What are we going to do now?" Anael asked.

"Gabriel is going to be on lock down inside the castle until further notice, for starters. Kali's going back to Purgavai to warn King Richard about my intention of declaring war if we don't find Samandriel, but I don't want you finding someone new to spill secrets to. Don't argue with me."

Gabriel, who had moved to protest, sank back down into his seat.

Michael nodded in satisfaction. "And we'll send out search parties all along the border and into Purgavai. If they don't like us there they can get over it and deal. If Samandriel is still out there, we're going to find him, and we're going to bring him home."

"Can I be in the search party?" Castiel asked before Michael had a chance to leave.

"Me too," Anael said.

"Same," Balthazar chimed in.

"Not all three of you, I want at least one of you to stay here. You can fight out who goes and who stays on your own time. But yes, two of you can join the search parties. Talk to Commander Zachariah, I'm going to him next. And soon, I want the searches going as soon as humanly possible."

He turned to face Gabriel one more time. "And you will not leave the castle. Understood?"

Gabriel nodded, keeping his mouth shut for once. Castiel had never seen him so miserable.

Michael left, Gabriel slunk away, and Anael, Balthazar, and Castiel were left to decide which of them had to sit helplessly at home while their youngest brother was quite possibly out there somewhere, alone and in pain.

He's accepted that no one can hear him.

Castiel felt guilty for finding it a relief to step into the smithy that night. Dean was waiting for him, eyes filled with concern.

"How are you holding up?"

Castiel liked that question. Not 'are you okay' when he obviously wasn't, but asking how he was dealing with the pain Dean knew he was in. "Alright. For now."

"Are you in one of the search parties leaving tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Anael and I both are. Balthazar wanted to be, but Michael didn't want all of us out there at once. Have you heard about Gabriel yet?"

"I heard a rumor he's not supposed to leave the castle."

"Have you heard about Kali?"

"Saw her leaving the castle grounds in a hurry earlier. Rumor is that she's gone to convince the Purgavain king to send Samandriel back."

"True enough. Not the whole story though. You have to promise not to tell, all right? Michael wants this kept quiet as long as possible. Indefinitely, if it can be."

"I won't tell. You can trust me."

Despite himself, Castiel smiled. He could, couldn't he? That was a nice thing to be reminded of. "Gabriel and Kali have been… seeing each other. Michael thinks Gabriel told her where Samandriel and his patrol would be and that's how they were ambushed so easily."

"Whoa. Do you believe it?"

Did he? Castiel still wasn't certain. "I don't know. I certainly don't think he did so on purpose, but Gabriel isn't always the most responsible person. And he seems to trust Kali a great deal. I can't say whether or not that trust is deserved."

Dean put a comforting hand on Castiel's arm. "I'd tell you that it's going to be okay, but if something happened to Sammy I know that wouldn't help me feel any better. So just tell me if there's anything I can do to help."

"Thank you, Dean."

The blacksmith gave him a gentle smile before jerking his head towards the bedroom. "Do you want to stay here for the night?"

Castiel hesitated. "I would, but…" He paused, wondering if he could explain this properly. "I don't think it would feel right, Dean. Being safe and warm and comforted with you, when my little brother is out there somewhere." 'he has to be out there somewhere,' Cas thought, doing his best not to think of the alternative, "And he's probably terrified and alone and hurt… I just wouldn't feel right."

Dean nodded understanding and Castiel knew he was thinking of how he'd feel if his own younger brother disappeared like this.

Cas smiled his thanks, kissed Dean once, lightly, and left before he could change his mind.

His mouth tastes like blood.

Castiel had thought that being part of the search party would keep him from feeling helpless like he had during everything that had happened with Lucifer and their father, but he was being proven wrong. If anything, being on the road was making it worse. At least Balthazar, Gabriel, and Michael, back at the castle, could imagine that Samandriel would be fine and that he was on his way back already.

Castiel and Anael couldn't. They were all too well aware of how long the trip to the border was, how far away they were from Samandriel. And of the fact that they didn't actually have any idea where he was, or if he was even still alive.

"We're still a full week from the mountains," Anael said one night when they should have both been sleeping. "I keep feeling like we shouldn't be stopping."

Castiel knew what she meant. "Same here. I understand why we have to, but I'd much rather stay moving."

Anael nodded. She tilted her head back to look up at the dark sky and the few stars they could see between the clouds. "Do you think he knows we're looking for him?"

"Of course he does," Castiel told her. Whether or not he believed they'd succeed in finding him was another story, but that wasn't what Anael had asked about. "He knows we'd do anything to bring him home again."

She sighed. "I'm tired of having to deal with this sort of shit. First Lucifer, then Father, now Samandriel… I refuse to lose any more family, Castiel. I can't deal with it. I won't."

He reached out and they clasped their hands together. "We won't lose anyone else," he promised, putting all of his will into making himself believe it. He didn't think he'd be able to handle it either.

Days don't exist anymore.

One of the soldiers who had found Hester and helped to bring her back to the castle was in the search group too.

"Did you see anything that might help us determine where we should be looking?" Castiel asked him as they drew closer to the border.

The man shook his head regretfully. "I'm sorry, your majesty. Whether he left the area of his own free will or was taken, his tracks were well covered. If I didn't know his body was missing I would say that everyone who was supposed to be in that pass was there."

Castiel shook his head. "Thirteen dead soldiers, fifteen dead horses, a missing prince… I much prefer it when things are quiet and boring."

The man nodded and tried to smile in a way that Castiel assumed was meant as reassuring. "I imagine the rest of your family feels the same way, your highness."

He can't remember if he's talked or not. He can't remember what questions he's been asked.

A part of Castiel breathed out in relief when the mountain range loomed before them at last. Whatever had happened to Samandriel, surely it wouldn't take them much longer to find out about it now.

Sometimes he hears screaming and it takes him a minute to realize it's him.

The soldier who found Hester lead them to the site of the ambush first. It had been cleaned up, of course, so there weren't dead and rotting corpses littering the area. The animals had made quick work of anything that was left too, so there was no longer much there that would indicate that thirteen of their people had been slaughtered there less than a month before. For the first time it occurred to Castiel to wonder how many Purgavains Samandriel and his men had managed to kill before they were killed themselves. There had to have been several.

If he hasn't talked yet his secrets are safe. He can no longer remember his own name.

From the battle site, the search group split up into several much smaller groups. Castiel and Anael went separate directions, hoping that one of them would be there if - when - Samandriel was found.

He can't scream anymore, his voice is gone.

Anael's group was to go farther into the mountains and see if they could find any sort of trail or hint of what had happened next. If Samandriel somehow had left the pass of his own volition, that was the way he'd have gone.

Castiel's group, on the other hand, was making the morbid assumption that Samandriel had been captured and was therefore somewhere inside the Purgavain borders. Castiel, despite knowing it was more likely, was praying that wasn't the case. He didn't know how they could possibly hope to find Samandriel if he wasn't in the mountains anymore. There was simply too much ground to cover.

He can't see and he doesn't know if it's the darkness and the blood or if they've taken his eyes.

The view of Purgavai might have been a nice one, if the circumstances were different. If Castiel had come as an ambassador or something similar, rather than as a man desperate to find his younger brother. As it was, hell would come raining down on anyone who got in his way.

Their rather large group slit up once they left the mountain pass. They made sure that everyone had the homing pigeons they'd use to let each other know when the search was over, and Castiel rode with the group heading directly into the heart of Purgavai.

There's an argument somewhere. He wants the quiet back so he can sleep.

The road seemed to be almost completely deserted, and Castiel found himself wishing that someone in their company knew a bit more about Purgavai so he could know whether or not that was normal.

The accent talking to him is familiar. Purgavain. He doesn't know the voice.

The few people they've seen have managed to convince everyone that they don't know anything. Castiel was still suspicious of a few of them, but he could admit that it was probably just his worry.

Either that or Purgavai was filled with the world's most talented liars. He started praying that they weren't finding anything because Samandriel had been taken in a different direction and that another group was having more luck.

Hands on his face. Warm. Gentle. Large.

Three days after they left the mountains Castiel and his group finally came across a decent-sized village. It occurred to the prince that the soldiers somewhat aggressive questioning tactics may trigger a war if they weren't careful, but he couldn't bring himself to care. No one was being killed or permanently injured, and Castiel felt that was the best any of them could ask for under the circumstances.

Still, a nagging voice in the back of his head wondered if Anael would be doing the same thing if they'd switched search groups.

He's not in a chair anymore.

One person in the village they'd passed through had admitted to seeing someone who may or may not have been Samandriel come through, surrounded by Purgavain soldiers. He hadn't been able to give them anything beyond a vague direction to head in, but at least they knew they were headed in the right direction.

Castiel was uncertain about whether or not he should be happy about that.

Soft reassurances in his ear. He can't make out words.

They had left the village almost two full days ago and there was nothing even dimly resembling a lead anymore. Castiel was beginning to feel sick to his stomach. They had sent the pigeon out to the other search groups so there would be more of them soon, but Castiel wasn't certain that would be enough. Purgavai was a big country, and it wouldn't be long before somebody became angry about the Edengardians presence there.

A horse under him. The saddle hurts, but there's a warm body at his back.

A horse appeared on the road in the early morning of the third day. Castiel didn't pay much attention to it at first, but as it drew closer it began to catch his interest a little more. A half hour after it had first appeared, Castiel could see that it had two riders.

Fifteen minutes after that he could dimly see their faces. The man on the back was large, with a short beard and a hat and somewhat ragged clothes.

The man in front of him was bloodstained and one of his legs looked broken.

Castiel wanted to hit himself for not recognizing him sooner.

Castiel kicked his horse to a gallop, shouting at the man on the horse to stop where he was, or else. The man stopped immediately, putting his hands up with the palms out.

"Samandriel!"

He forces his eyes open. He's not blind after all.