A/N: Thanks to all my readers/reviewers/visitors.
As always a big thank you to Jezzeria, who preread and beta'd this chapter and helped me while I was stuck on some elements.
This story now has a banner :-) Thank you Chandrakanta for creating this beautiful banner. It can be seen on my facebookprofile.
On with the story… Bella's gets to see their beautiful cottage…
My feet were making soggy noises as I walked beside Edward through the trees. The soil was muddy from the rainfall that lasted almost all afternoon. The sky was already almost completely dark as night had fallen. Renesmee was dozing off, snuggled in her warm clothing that prevented her from getting cold. We walked at a pace that was slightly faster than a human jog, but nowhere as fast as a vampire could go.
Rosalie and Esme darted in front of us, leading the way to somewhere. Apparently they had planned on giving 'it' to us as a 'welcome to the vampire life-kind of present'. My newborn mind however was so unstable that I couldn't deal with a lot of people around me. Therefore they decided to speed up the process and give it to us now.
I kept replaying the last hours in my mind; recalling the heated discussion and raising tempers. I had reacted almost instinctively when I saw Jasper. His demeanor and appearance set warning bells off in my head. The way he behaved towards me didn't help. The wolves' presence was maddening. The altercation in the field today had topped everything else and my mind couldn't cope with it.
I was constantly frustrated because I didn't know my own body anymore. I crushed and tore everything that I took a hold of. When I saw myself in the mirror after that shower I freaked out about my blood red eyes. I still hadn't grasped my new and improved senses. They were going into overdrive with everything that I observed and experienced.
Renesmee, my little girl, had my instincts on super alert. I had to take care of her, had to protect her. Yet, I couldn't do that. At least I could hold her. I had to really make an effort to control my movements but I could hug her and walk around with her in my arms. That was about it though. I couldn't feed her, I couldn't dress her, I couldn't even be around her when she was thirsty.
I gritted my teeth. I felt so out of my element. I couldn't control my own body, I responded mostly on instinct. My instincts were stronger than my rational way of thinking. I just felt confused and wary and angry and- I couldn't deal with everything about myself. So much was thrown at me. The family, Jasper, the altercation, the wolves, Jacob, the imprint… I felt myself starting to shake.
I hadn't realized I stopped walking until Edward's voice snapped me out of my musings. Immediately I focused on my surroundings. I was still in the forest, Edward stood in front of me looking worried. I spotted Rosalie and Esme a few meters in front of us. They had halted too.
"Are you okay?"
"I…" I couldn't answer that question. And frankly I didn't want to tell him when there were so many ears listening in. If I concentrated I could still hear the remaining Cullens at the mansion.
He looked pained for a moment but simply nodded.
"It's not far up ahead," he whispered.
He moved to the side of me. He seemed indecisive. Finally he took a step closer to me so that our sleeves were lightly touching. He looked back at me before shaking his head in the direction we were going.
I noticed that our daughter's breathing had evened out; she had fallen asleep. I rearranged her a bit so that she was cradled like a baby. It took a lot of concentration to juggle her in that position without waking her up.
We started walking again. Rosalie and Esme were still in front of us.
After five minutes soft glowing light began to appear. The pathway through the trees widened into a little open space that was the front yard of a beautiful cottage. The light came from the dimmed lamps inside. I noticed that the windows were open. Not all of them it seemed but from what I could see, at least three stood open.
Rosalie and Esme stopped at the start of the imaginary front yard. They turned around and glanced at us.
Rosalie tilted her head, directing her eyes at Edward. She was obviously saying something in her thoughts. Before I could get aggravated by the silent conservation, Esme spoke to me. She took a few steps closer to me.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I hope a night off will give you some peace. I hope you like the cottage. It's your home so enjoy the peace and quietness. I love you."
Her voice was so sincere and for a moment every negative emotion was pushed to the back of my mind as I looked at her. Her eyes held many emotions and I could see she was struggling to keep her distance.
"Thank you," I whispered. I hoped she could hear my gratefulness. In this moment I could see her as my mother and I had this urge to hug her.
"Edward, could you…" I nodded at our sleeping daughter in my arms.
He smoothly took her out of my arms and cradled her in his arms, tucked against his chest. I redirected my gaze to Esme.
My mind was warring with my instinct. I pushed through and took a few hesitantly steps towards the woman. When I was directly in front of her I moved my arms. My eyes locked with hers, observing her every move. My body was prepared to run away by the slightest wrong movement from her.
Finally I embraced her. I put my arms around her waist, resting my head briefly on her shoulder. I inhaled deeply, taking in her scent before pulling back. I darted backwards immediately after. I stood next to Edward again. He leaned down and gave a soft kiss on the top of my head.
Esme didn't say anything but her eyes held a tender emotion. I felt the corners of my lips lift into a small smile which she answered with one of her own.
"Have a good night and hopefully we'll see you tomorrow," Rosalie spoke up.
Edward nodded in acknowledgement. With that, both Rosalie and Esme took off back to the mansion. I stayed still, concentrating on my hearing. I heard them moving farther and farther away until I couldn't hear them anymore. It looked like the mansion was just out of hearing distance. A sigh of relief left my lips.
It was peaceful and quiet, noises of the forest surrounding us. Nighttime animals scurried through the trees. Besides that only Renesmee's breathing could be heard.
We walked to the front door of the cottage. When Edward pushed the door open the soft light illuminating the living room came into view. I walked further 'till I was fully inside and stood still. I gazed around the room in wonder.
It was simply beautiful. The whole room cast in a warm glow of the different kinds of lamps throughout the room. It gave the whole setting a homey feeling. The first things that caught my eye were the two big white couches and side tables which formed a little sitting area that also included a coffee table and a flat screen TV on the wall.
I walked further inside and looked to the right. The adjoining room had a very big door opening but no door. I liked the openness of the cottage. I could see that it was a kitchen, again in the same colors. When I looked to my left I noticed a hallway. I went over to it. As I progressed more inside the living room, an unpleasant smell started to invade my nose. I slightly crinkled my nose in disgust. It smelt awfully familiar.
Edward stayed silent the whole time, letting me take in our little cottage. When I halted at the smell, he stepped closer. I directed my eyes at him, wondering why I thought I smelled Jacob inside our cottage. He shut his eyes tightly and groaned in displeasure.
The smell was very dim, but still present. Was that why the windows were opened? To air the cottage? Had Jacob been in here? Why? This was supposed to be our little home.
"Let's put our daughter to bed first?" Edward asked.
I eyed him. Why was he diverting my attention? What was he hiding? At that moment Renesmee snuggled a little closer and wriggled in his arms, trying to get more comfortable in her sleep. She was my priority. She needed her rest.
"Where is her bedroom?" I asked softly.
Edward nodded towards the short hallway and I followed him. The door at the end of said hallway was partly open and after a slight push from Edward we stepped inside. The room was beautiful. I walked over to the small bed. It wasn't a crib, but it wasn't the size of a normal twin bed either. It looked like a children's size bed. I knew Renesmee needed to be chanced into sleeping wear, or at least remove the warm outside clothing.
I didn't know how to do it. I couldn't do it. I met Edward's eyes as he carefully placed the sleeping child on the bed. He nodded without a word and started to take of her woolen hat. I watched as he doted over our daughter. She didn't wake up at all, a few little grunts of disagreements escaped her lips but that was it. When Edward noticed she was sound asleep, he decided to change her into comfortable sleeping wear.
He moved over to a dresser and opened a drawer. My eyes followed him and took in her bedroom. The colors matched the colors in the rest of the cottage, giving it a very serene and peaceful look. There were very colorful stuffed animals located on different places in the room, breaking the otherwise perfect harmonious looking room.
The blinds of the window were shut, beautiful half see-through white curtains hiding them. As I glanced around I got the feeling that I saw it before; though not as detailed. The outline, the overall impression and the things situated in the bedroom were familiar. That bit of recognition added up with the faint stench that lingered in this room and the living room; Jacob's stench. He had been in her room.
Edward interrupted my thoughts by murmuring a soft goodnight to our daughter. I focused my attention back on my husband and saw him pulling the blanket up till under Renesmee's chin. He kissed her softly on her forehead and stepped back. I walked over to stand next to her head as well and very carefully brushed her cheek.
"Good night, sweetie," I murmured and delicately placed a kiss on her cheek.
I looked up at Edward and stepped into his outstretched arm. He gave me a one-armed hug and kissed the top of my head. We walked back towards the door and dimmed the lights before stepping back into the hallway. Edward closed the door behind us. There was no need to keep it partly opened, we would hear it anyway if something was wrong.
We made our way to the living room, my mind swirling with so many thoughts and impressions and questions and curiosity.
Renesmee's soft breathing could be heard throughout the whole cottage. I liked that with my enhanced hearing, I could locate her everywhere in my surrounding without seeing her. I hated not seeing her or being separated from her, but the fact that I could hear her soothed me somewhat.
Now that she was safely tucked in her bed, I could analyze everything I saw earlier when entering our cottage. As I listened to her slow breathing, I glanced around our new home. There was a lot going on. A lot of furniture and other stuff. Yet it didn't suffocate me. Overall it oozed an organized and homey feeling.
I wanted to see and touch everything, to investigate every object in the cottage. As I took in the living room, where I was standing now, I made my way to the couch. I felt Edward moving along with me, mirroring my moves. Hesitantly my fingers reached out, wanting to feel the fabric of the couch. Immediately the cool texture prickled my fingertips as I ghosted over it with the utmost care. I didn't want to damage it with my nails or too much pressure. It let them ghost over the surface and the back. When I felt another texture I picked it up slowly.
I held it up and saw it was a very soft and comfy looking blanket. It was completely made of polyester and had an earth-color; a rich dark brown. It was a nice contrast with the light colored couch. Very carefully I tangled my hands in it and brought it up to my nose. I smelt the clean and fresh air coming from it. It smelled like the outdoors forest.
I laid it back and lowered myself onto the couch, acutely aware of my whole body. My muscles were tense as I took a seat. When I sat down, my body relaxed for the most part. I let myself appreciate the comfort the couch offered, while paying attention to my hands and fingers.
My eyes swept over the rest of the living room. The adjoining wall was transformed into a build in closet without doors and consisting of shelves. Most of the shelves contained books: a mini library. I would definitely check that out later. Two relaxing lounge chairs were placed in the middle of the room. Yet they blended in perfectly to the serene outlook of a reading area. Everything in this room had bright colors varying from white the light brown. There were some accents to break it all in the form of the dark brown cushions on the couch, the many books, the folded blankets on the lounge chairs, the carpets. It all seemed so familiar, like I had seen it before. It nagged on my mind. It piled up with the very familiar scenery that was Renesmee's bedroom. Jacob!
I felt the spot beside me dented as Edward sat down on the couch. My hands were itching to do something. I spotted the cushions in the corner of the couch, so I reached out to touch one. They felt a little more rough than the blanket, but still held some softness. I could feel the texture and let me fingers ghost over it. After a few strokes I tightened my fingers to grab it. A small tearing sound could be heard. My grasp automatically loosened and my fingers recoiled. I didn't want to damage anything!
Throughout my mini-exploration of the living room so far, Edward hadn't said a word. He let me take it all in and gave my vampire mind a chance to process it all. A lot of things were going on in my mind. The thing that came most to the front of my mind was that Jacob had been in here. My teeth clenched. At the sound of my teeth gritting, Edward decided to speak up. He took my balled fists into his hands. He urged me to look at him.
"Bella?" he asked.
I didn't answer him. Instead I watched him silently, letting everything from the cottage play over in my mind.
"What's wrong?"
I hissed softly at his question. The thing that plagued me the most since walking up to the cottage was the disgusting smell of Jacob and 'his pack'. I smelled it in the room we were in now; I smelled it in Renesmee's room too. I narrowed my eyes at Edward. I looked at his face closely. His eyes held a sort of trepidation, like he was realizing what was wrong with me.
Jacob had been inside our cottage. He was in here, before us. I thought back, wanting to know why the interior seemed so familiar. Almost immediately the memory of Renesmee's thought came to mind. One of the first things she showed me. It was a collection of the time while I was burning. Some images were of her bedroom, the living room, the cottage.
He had been here, alone with my daughter. He was in here without another Cullen, before me. He had put her to bed and stayed here all night?! Immediately I sprung off the couch. I heard small tearing sounds from where I pushed my fingers off. My muscles tensed as the realization set in. I was angry. My fingers curled into fists and I hissed softly. I stared at Edward. He sat stone still, eying me warily. His eyes held many emotions but resignation was one of them.
"Jacob was here?" My voice was a silent shriek. No matter how angry I was, I wouldn't disturb Renesmee.
"Yes, he was. But Bella-," Edward answered quietly. I didn't let him finish.
"Jacob was here the whole night, while I was burning? Alone with OUR daughter? In OUR cottage?"
Edward got up from the couch but I hissed again, making him halt his movements to come closer.
"Where were you? Why did you let him come here alone with her?"
I tried to wrap my head around it, tried to come up with a valid reason… I came up blank, no reason could be valid enough to let Jacob unsupervised with our daughter in the presence of Seth and Leah.
"I didn't want to leave you while you were changing. I couldn't leave you."
"So you left that wolf alone with her? You let him bring her here, with his friends out of your hearing range?"
My body was tense, anger coursing through every muscle. I glared at Edward.
"She wasn't alone. Do you think I would let him? We made a huge mistake in leaving her with him, I agree. But he was never completely alone with her. Rosalie disliked him enough to be around him. She hates his 'smell' but she wouldn't leave his side, even here at the cottage," Edward tried to explain.
A fleeting image of a disgruntled Rosalie who stopped breathing popped in my head. I dismissed it quickly. I was to riled up to see the humor of it. Suddenly something else of what he said registered. In a flash I stood nose to nose with him. He tensed but stayed in place.
He hadn't left me in the three days I was burning, and in the past days he stood by me, went hunting with me. But he never fed. I brought my hand up to his face. He stood still, wariness swirling in his eyes. Very slowly I reached out with my fingers, tracing the darkening circles under his eyes.
"Are you thirsty? When was the last time you hunted?"
My newborn vampiremind might be going haywire and I might be angry, but I couldn't ignore my mate's wellbeing. At least not when I was rational enough. The image of when I bit him during my first hunt flashed before my eyes and automatically my eyes lowered to his covered arm. I cringed and retracted my hand immediately.
"I'm fine, love. Because I didn't want to leave you, Emmett went to get me some deer and brought it to the house. I fed enough. The excitement of the last days just got me thirstier a bit quicker, but I'm okay," Edward soothed me.
I eyed him hesitantly, searching his eyes. He seemed honest.
"As for Jacob," he continued, "I'm sorry again for my misjudgment. I promise, she was always in the presence of someone of our family; mostly Rosalie."
I hissed at the mention of Jacob. Why couldn't he just leave? Back to La Push and stay there, along with the other wolves. I didn't want him hanging around the mansion. I most certainly didn't want them around our cottage!
"She is still sleeping, want to explore our home a little more?"
Edward stood behind me as I was facing the opened window. I turned around and nodded. He went out of my line of sight and stood next to me. I stood still as I swept my eyes around the room. It was so beautiful.
The dimmed lights casted different colors into the air. It had a sense of mythical spirit, as it was the only light source; it wasn't polluted or diminished by daylight. The colors were soft and warm., adding to the homey, serene feeling of the cottage.
As my eyes met the mini-library, I flashed over to stand in front of it. I was there faster than the blink of an eye. Edward was right behind me, albeit a bit more laid back. My eyes drank in the shelves filled with books. There were all different in size and color. I inhaled and the typical …. Of old pages and books invaded my nose.
I looked to Edward with a small smile on my lips. He had a smile on his lips as well, clearly happy with my reaction. I concentrated back on the books in front of my as I reached my hand out. My fingers nearly touched the books.
"It are almost all original or early editions, most of them are quite old," Edward murmured.
Very tentatively I fingered the covers of the leather books, ghosting over the titles. The titles somehow sounded familiar but I couldn't lace them. Had I read them when I was human? I moved my fingers to the top of the book and curled them. I wanted to grab one and slide it out of the shelf. I felt the old paper wrinkle. My hand retracted as if being burned. I leaped back a few steps. In my shock of damaging the books I had missed a piece of furniture making tumble over it. I landed with a thud on the floor.
I froze, processing what just happened. Edward chuckled, making my attention snap to him. I growled instinctively.
"You're okay. It's okay," he reassured me.
I sprang back on my feet, I felt vulnerable sitting on the floor. I checked my surrounding, making sure it was safe. Renesmee's deep breathing indicated that she was still asleep. I went back to the shelves but didn't touch the books again. I got a little frustrated that I couldn't read them. My hands curled into fists at my side.
Edward came up in front of me, placing his hands on my fists. He urged me to look at him.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up. You're doing great," he whispered soothingly.
I didn't believe him. I was getting frustrated with my unfamiliar body. I was working myself up. Why couldn't I control my strength already? How many things would I destroy or hurt before I could control my body?
Edward tried to distract me, "Bella, you're only days old. This is completely normal. You'll get there. It takes time to get used to your new body."
I looked at him, really looked into his eyes. My emotions were taking over my mindset again and I'm sure he could sense it. My teeth gritted and my jaw set. I was annoyed with myself.
Edward squeezed my fists to get my attention away from my emotional tumult.
"Come on, there is still a lot to see in our cottage."
My curiosity was piqued and I let him drag me with him.
The kitchen wasn't big, but it was beautiful and handy. We would need it for our daughter's food. My eyes went to the fridge. They had probably stacked human blood there as well. That idea brought on a whole new set of worries that threatened to overwhelm me. The same feelings of uncertainty and fear of the unknown, fear for my daughter settled in my body. We didn't know anything about her. It scared me.
I wanted to protect her and was angry at the thought of something threatening her. I wanted to fight the danger, but the danger was unknown. How could I fight something we didn't know anything about? Her own little but fast growing body was the enemy. The fear felt like a fist that was squeezing my heart. So many things that we didn't know… My thoughts went in circles.
I needed to know that she was safe. I just- I turned around and ran to her room, using too much force to push the door open a little more. The hinges squeaked in protest and cracks appeared at the connecting parts on the wood. The place where I pushed was damaged pretty badly. I didn't mind, I only had eyes for my daughter who stirred in her sleep; no doubt disturbed by the sound of the door.
Her eyes fluttered open and she yawned. I was next to her in a blink, wanting to pick her up and hold her, make sure she was safe. I knew I couldn't do that though. I would harm her with my brute force. It tore me apart that I couldn't reassure myself of her condition. I inhaled and let her scent be enough to calm and reassure me.
I felt Edward's presence behind me before he put a hand on my shoulder. He squatted down next to me.
"Shh, It's okay, go back to sleep," he murmured to Renesmee.
She looked at me questionably and then closed her eyes again. My fingers itched to caress her cheek, but I was too afraid to do it.
"She's tired, but she woke up from the noise," Edward whispered.
He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead then he got up and pulled me with him.
"Come on, let's go back to the living room."
Edward handled the damaged door very delicately. I grimaced at the object.
Once we were back in the living room Edward turned around and pulled me into his arms. His grip was firm and for a split moment I tensed. My arms wanted to wrap around him. My overwhelmed mind and fear of hurting him held me back.
Edward started humming softly, never loosening his hold on me. We stayed like that for a few minutes.
"What's wrong?" He never moved his head away from leaning on the top of mine while he spoke.
I whimpered but couldn't answer him. My mind was a mess.
A noise outside pierced through the air and the tense feeling in the cottage, demanding my attention. My whole body focused on it. It lured me. I spun around, eyeing the closed door and made a run for it. The sound repeated again. My fingers were about to grasp the doorknob when Edward's hand stopped them and turned the knob gently.
As soon as the door was opened, I pushed past Edward, knocking my shoulder against the frame. The wood protested as I hit it.
I came to an abrupt halt as my eyes took in the scene around me. It was mesmerizing. The forest was engulfed in the darkness of the night, yet the slight shimmer of moonlight that didn't even reach halfway of the trees, gave enough light to see everything perfectly. Everything was as clear as during broad daylight. The night gave it a whole new impression though. It oozed serenity, like it did during the day but now it also had something else; something enchanting.
I let my eyes roam over the tree line, seeing ants scurry on the tree trunks. It reminded me of my first time in the forest as a vampire. It was fascinating to see those little animals being so busy, never sleeping, and always moving in their own chaotic but no doubt organized way. The light breeze rustled the leaves and small bushes.
I inhaled deeply, smelling everything from the wood of the trees, to the dampness of the rain earlier to the faint scent of animals. Edward's scent wrapped around me, letting me know he stood right behind me.
The animals smelled different from the ones I smelled during the day. I was unfamiliar with the new scents, making me slightly edgy. My mind immediately tried to assess possible treats.
Edward wrapped his arms around me, clasping his hand on my belly. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.
I inhaled again, "It smells different. I can hear things, but they smell strange. I don't trust it," I tried to keep my calm while trying to explain it.
"It is the nighttime animals that you smell. They're awake now, making their smell more potent as the other animals lay low. They were there during the day as well, but hidden. They are no threats whatsoever, trust me," he explains calmly.
My nerves aren't completely eased though. I inhaled again. Just then that strange noise echoed again. My eyes snapped towards the direction where it came from. My muscles tensed. The sound repeats 'hup, hoo-hoo, hooo'.
I took a tentative step towards the trees, Edward following me, his hands lingering on my waist. As I progressed a little closer still, the sound changed a bit and becomes more threatening. Edward tightened his grip on my waist, making me halt my progress. Why is he stopping me? Is it dangerous to go further? He said there was no threat here. Immediately I am aware that I am moving away from the cottage. I look over my shoulder, over Edward's shoulder towards the cottage. Renesmee! I was about to leave her alone and unprotected! I gritted my teeth in anger, mostly at myself.
I wanted to break from Edward's hold on my waist, only wanting to go back to her. He moved backwards slowly. He must have sensed what I wanted as he complied silently. His eyes stayed locked on mine.
'Hup, hoo-hoo, hooo'
I halted, turning my head quickly towards the sound. It was back to the same tone as it was earlier. The fast movement caused some hair to block my sight. I hastily swiped it away, needing to see the trees. My eyes narrowed as they tried to find the source of the sound.
'Hup, hoo-hoo, hooo'
I couldn't find it. I was warring with myself. One side wanted to go find the source of the sound. The other side however didn't want to leave Renesmee behind. The dilemma riled me up, making me frustrated.
"That thing you hear is a Northern Spotted owl," Edward informed me, "it's awake now, ready to hunt."
I looked at him briefly, before turning my eyes back to the direction of the apparently Northern Spotted owl.
'Hup, hoo-hoo, hooo, hoo-hoo'
Although the noise of the hoot was slightly muffled by the forest it still rose above all the other noises that could be heard. I wondered how it would hunt if all his prey could hear him from so far away. Suddenly the noise stopped. A fluttering of a couple of wing-beats could be heard and then silence. I narrowed my eyes and strained my ears. His heartbeat reached my ears as did the movement of his wings, causing small breezes as he moved them up and down. He was a perfect predator, almost completely silent. He could blend in with the other noises of the nightlife in the forest.
As I gazed amongst the branches higher up in the trees I spotted small animals doing various things. Some were grooming their selves or their companion, others were looking for food, some just sat there observing. When they looked in our direction, they went completely silent. They didn't move or blink, their big black eyes taking us in. I saw their nostrils flare, their ears pricked up; they were on their guard, seizing the possible threat that we opposed.
I locked my muscles down and stood still like a statue. I observed them just like they did us. I heard their hearts beat frantically as they were spooked. I don't know how long the stare down lasted; Edward mimicked my behavior and silently waited behind me.
After a while - milliseconds, minutes, moments - I don't know, their heartbeats settled down again. Some of the animals went back to their business while a few kept an eye on us. I unfroze and blinked.
"Animals can sense we are predators. When they smell, hear or see us, they are alarmed, just like any prey. Those squirrels must have deemed us safe enough."
Edward's words registered vaguely while I still watched animals. It was fascinating to watch them.
I wanted to get closer, wanted to wander and see the forest, experience this other side of life. It was so different at night. The colors, the way the light reflected, the view,… My mind registered all the things I could see, but I wanted to see more. I wanted to see were that owl was. Had he caught a prey? What other things were here? I got excited and made a move to run towards the trees.
"Bella?"
A voice called me, snapping me out of my excitement.
"Bella, you can't go wandering.."
Edward's voice and words made me stop my excited attempt to get away. My feet planted in the soil. I couldn't walk away from the cottage. I couldn't leave our daughter here alone. Just like that I darted past him and back inside. It didn't take me long to get to her bedroom door.
I peeked inside. Renesmee was still sound asleep curled into a ball. I watched her for a few seconds, reassuring myself that she was safe and sound asleep in our cottage with us. When I turned around I noticed Edward wasn't behind me. Where was he? I inhaled softly and his scent was most potent in the living room. I made my way back towards him.
He stood just inside the room, the front door closed behind him.
"Is she okay?" he asked me.
I was sure that he could tell from where he stood, he didn't have to actually go to her to know that. He could hear her slow heartbeat and her rhythmic breathing indicating she was sleeping. I could as well, but I just needed to see her.
"She's sleeping," I answered softly, not wanting to disrupt the room.
"Come here, love."
His warm voice drew me to him, stepping in his embrace.
"The forest is beautiful at night isn't it? You want to go look some more? Just here, around the cottage? We won't leave the sides."
His words were murmured against the top of my head as he pulled me firmly against his chest. I really wanted to go outside and explore some more. It was so much and beautiful and- I couldn't do that though; our daughter was inside. My excitement battled with my instincts of protecting my child.
Edward felt the tension in my body as he reassured me that we would stay around the cottage. Finally I nodded against his chest and he pulled away, taking my hand.
He opened the door and my eyes met the darkened trees again. We stepped outside, leaving the door ajar. Once we were fully in the open, I focused on locating my daughter. I had to be sure that she was okay, that I could hear her from where I was. Her breathing and her heartbeat soothed me.
Everything was so fascinating and enchanted. When I saw some leaves move, my eyes zeroed in until a rabbit crawled from between it. When it sniffed our presence, he got away as fast as he could; his little tail raised high as he jumped his way towards the thick low bushes.
"Do you like it?"
I nodded.
"When Renesmee's older she can come with us and watch the forest at night as well," Edward whispered.
I liked that thought, really liked it. I couldn't wait to show her everything, to see her brown eyes widen when she spots something, to hear her enthusiastic thoughts…
My train of thinking came to a stop when I registered more what he said. 'When she's older'; but she grew so fast. In a blink all my carefree thoughts were replaced with the feelings of anxiety and uncertainty that had laid dormant in my mind.
Edward turned me towards him, cupping my cheeks. He forced me to meet his eyes.
"What is going on in your head? What did I say?" His eyes looked imploringly.
"Renesmee. When she gets older… Edward, we don't know what's happening to her. What if we don't have that much time with her? What if-. " My voice turned scared and small.
"Sshhh, don't think about it love. We will figure it out. She's safe for now and we'll do anything we can to keep her healthy." His tone was soothing but firm as well and I knew he meant it, he would protect our daughter.
As I looked into his eyes I saw the same feelings reflecting: determination, worry, fear, love.
"Tomorrow we will go talk to Carlisle and the rest of the family, okay?"
I just nodded, letting him comfort me. All the while I kept taps on our sleeping daughter, needing to know she was still safe in her bed in our home.
For the remaining part of the night we wandered around the cottage, taking in every little detail around us. We didn't get the complete peaceful feeling back, the safety of Renesmee lingered in our minds. The tjilping of birds announced the breaking of a new dawn; the start of a new day.
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