Chapter 15 is here, yayz! As usual, thanks to Barako for proofreading! In this chapter, Gala and Songi do a good deal of whiny bitching at each other, because... well, character development. Plus, it's really fun to write. They're both teens, after all. I bet their hormones are just making everything worse. XD I'm not entirely happy with how this chapter is written, but it's a great improvement over the first draft. As usual, suggestions and critique are always welcome. :)
Chapter 15
Gala was reading when the thunder began, about an hour after he and Songi had separated. It came on pretty suddenly, and unfortunately, Gala's engrossment in the mystery novel he was reading didn't stop him from noticing it. Rain, so heavy it sounded like someone was dropping stones on the roof, came pelting down, and lightning lit up the inside of the room through the window.
Damn it...
Gala disliked storms. No, that was an understatement. He hated storms. There had been a very fierce one going on when his and Songi's village had been engulfed by the Mist. The memory of his parents' bleeding, dying bodies was always mixed up with the sound and sight of storms, or even just heavy rain.
Storms had scared him and Songi a lot as kids, back when they'd first been brought to the monastery. They'd depressed them too. As they'd grown older and better trained, the fear heavy rain and thunder brought had eventually melted away. But there was still no stopping the depression or their memories of that terrible day. There never would be.
Slowly, Gala put down his book, got up off his bed and walked out of his room. Without knowing why, he was making a beeline for Songi's room. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he knew he was more likely to remember what had happened to his parents if he was alone. Maybe he was concerned for Songi, even though Songi would likely never show concern for him again. Maybe it was a bit of both.
Whatever the reason, Gala pushed open Songi's bedroom door and walked in, just as he had after their fight not too long ago. Unlike then though, he didn't bother to knock. He had a feeling that, if he knocked and heard Songi's voice answer him, he would lose his nerve to go in. Despite all reason, that didn't seem like a good outcome right then.
Songi was sitting a little slumped at the foot of his bed, so the bed was between him and his window. It was almost like he was trying to hide from the storm. His eyes widened when Gala came in, then narrowed in anger and embarrassment. Clearly, he thought the scene looked like he was hiding as well.
"I-I'm not scared," he said sharply, half-rising to his feet. "I just... hate them. So do you!"
He shot these last words at Gala in some feeble attempt at defiance, as though the younger man was judging and taunting him.
No, Songi. I think you have me confused with you. I'm not like that, even with you.
There was another loud boom of thunder from outside, and Songi flinched noticeably. Gala began to think coming in here hadn't been such a good idea after all, but he could hardly leave now. That would make Songi hate him even more than he already did.
"I hate them too," Gala said at last, looking directly at him. "I came in here because I didn't want to sit in my room alone, listening to... this."
The continued pounding of heavy rain illustrated Gala's words quite well. In any case, the idea that his former rival actually needed him for something was undoubtedly comforting to Songi. Even with people he didn't like - or detested - he usually enjoyed it when someone desired a favor from him, because it meant he had power over that someone.
"Who says I'll agree to let you stay in here?" Songi asked.
As he spoke, he lowered himself back down onto the floor near his bed. Just as lazy as ever. Gala smiled slightly and sat down himself in front of the door, closing it behind him.
"Seriously," Songi said, his voice hardening. Gala looked at him and wasn't at all surprised to see the barely-concealed dislike on his face.
Gala knew now that things could never be the same between them again, no matter what he did. Not only would there always be a rift in their relationship, but their childhoods and innocence were forever gone too, lost to the Mist like so many other things had been. Even the little happiness they'd managed to find together in their youths wasn't going to come back.
But that wasn't his fault. It was Songi's, wasn't it? It was all his fault, wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
Gala sighed, then before he knew what was happening, words were tumbling out of him like an unsettled pile of pebbles. How long had he been keeping them contained?
"Songi, during our journey - Vahn, Noa's and mine, I mean - we went to this... place. It was called the Uru Mais. You probably know it. We went there later too, after what you did to Rim Elm."
"Why are you talking about-" Songi began, more shocked than angry. Gala ignored him.
"We all had to let Tieg look into our minds, one by one," Gala said. The words were coming out of him so fast, it was a wonder anyone could understand them. "I won't tell you what Vahn and Noa dreamed about, because it's their business if they want to tell you or not, and of course they never will. But I'll tell you what I dreamed about, Songi. I dreamed about that time in the Transmigration Festival Tournament, when you-"
"Stabbed you in the back?" Songi finished, cutting over him smoothly. His voice was utterly unreadable.
Gala stopped mid-babble. Yes, that had been the gist of what he'd been going to say. But now that he'd gotten his thoughts out - or some of them, at least - he felt drained. And his chest hurt. It hurt in a way similar to how it had after his many fights with Songi when their friendship had first started to break up. It was like a less intense version of how he felt when he thought of the loss of his parents, and it was probably just as unfixable.
Another crash of thunder, followed by a flash of lightning, stirred Gala, and he sighed again. He didn't know why he'd felt the need to burst out like that. What difference did it make? It was done, and Songi had apologized and meant it. Admittedly he'd been heavily sedated and injured at the time, but still. Nothing was going to soothe the harsh ache in Gala's chest now, certainly not bringing up the past.
Gala swallowed, a painful lump building in his throat. Why? Why did it still have to hurt so much? Why did Songi's betrayal of him so many years ago, something so minor and insignificant compared to all the other horrible things he'd done, seem to haunt him almost as much as Songi's betrayal of the entire monastery?
"You're better off without me, you know."
If he hadn't seen him say it, Gala never would've believed such words could've come out of Songi's mouth. But they had, and the older man wasn't looking away.
Sure, maybe he'd only said it so Gala would stop keeping him in this house against his will, but somehow Gala doubted it. He just sounded too... sincere. He was good at manipulating people, but not this good.
"No, I wasn't," Gala said, once he'd recovered.
He was still certain of this. He would never tell Songi how much pain his betrayal had caused him, or how much pain he still caused him, but he would at least admit that Songi's death wouldn't have brought him any joy. On the contrary, it would've brought him the same amount of pain losing his parents had. He would never admit that last part either, though.
"I never was," Gala said. "I'm... I'm really glad you're alive now."
Songi closed his eyes for a moment, and his breathing became a little more forced, as though he were in some kind of physical pain.
"I've done so many... things," he said, opening his eyes and glaring furiously at the floor. He couldn't seem to bring himself to say 'evil things,' or even 'terrible things.' "I've k-killed so many people. I... I should be dead."
Gala looked back at him, torn between pity and skepticism. Where had this come from? He supposed from the same place as Songi's tears that day, under that arch. But for someone who thought he should be dead, Songi had sure been making a pretty good effort to stay alive so far. The claim just came off as insincere.
"What good would you being dead do?" Gala snapped. "Enough people have died already, and you... you were my best friend."
He looked away, sorry he'd spoken so plainly. It wasn't like their old friendship was something that could be denied, but even so, bringing it up now...
The sound of pelting rain continued for a while, before Songi asked suddenly:
"Why did you dwell on that stupid crap? I mean, after what happened in our village..."
Gala turned his attention back to Songi and almost smiled. This was a a very obvious question, one even Songi had the foresight to ask. Even though Gala had pretty much figured out the reason already, he still thought it was a little strange. He felt more to blame for what had happened between him and Songi than he had with his parents. After all, his parents had been murdered by Seru. If he wanted anyone to blame for that, he could blame Cort and the other people responsible for the creation of the Mist. But Songi... Whom could he blame for that? Well, Songi, partly. Obviously. But...
"I guess... I felt kind of responsible," Gala said. "I never realized how everyone praising me all the time got to you so much. It should've been obvious. I should've noticed." He paused for a moment, then added, "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize!"
Songi clenched his fists and glared at Gala with just as much ferocity as he had been at the floor. The amount of loathing in his eyes almost made Gala draw back. Of course, he knew Songi hated him, but the intensity of it still scared him sometimes. And why was Songi so angry now? What had he done to provoke it this time?
"Why do you always have to be so... goody-goody?" Songi said, still glaring at him. "It got old years ago. Anyone would look bad next to you."
He stopped and looked away, towards the room's small window. He seemed to be listening to the continual pounding of the rain. The next words he spoke might've been completely subconscious.
"Especially me."
Gala stared at him, but Songi still avoided his gaze. This was just about the most out-of-character thing he could've said, outside of outright praising Gala and calling him the greatest person who ever lived. And berating himself along with that... Yes, he had shown deep regret for what he'd done, and yes, he'd even shown some desire for redemption. But this... This was so unlike him. At least, it was so like the new him, the person Gala had been so used to these past couple of years. Was it unlike how he'd been before that? Would the old Songi have ever said something like this, if he'd had some cause to? Gala didn't know.
"Songi..." he said, much more gently than a moment ago. "Why would you say something like that?"
It wasn't really that he was telling him he wasn't wrong, although he never would've been that vain; he genuinely wanted to know why he would say such a thing. He wanted to hear if he was sorry. Not because he was sadistic or unsure about Songi's remorse, but because hearing him act so... human brought him comfort. When he'd heard he'd slaughtered their own people and seen him try to bring the world to ruin such a short time ago, Gala needed all the reassurance on this man's humanity he could possibly get.
Songi turned his attention from the window and back to his companion. He was practically gaping at him, as though Gala's question was the most unreasonable thing he'd ever heard. He even seemed to have forgotten about the storm, if only temporarily.
"Seriously?" he said, his voice matching his expression. "Are you stupid? I... I killed those monks like it was nothing. Maya would've died if you guys hadn't stopped the Mist. I put an old man under the possession of a Sim-Seru. I killed a woman, a woman who was meant to be on my side, just because that bastard told me to."
Gala hesitated. Yes, Songi's merciless killing of Zora, one of Cort's fellow underlings, had both shocked and chilled Gala. Even now, when it had all those other terrible memories to compete with, it was still pretty far up on the list of most disturbing things he'd seen on his journey with Vahn and Noa. Then again...
"Zora was too far gone," Gala said without thinking. "We'd..."
He stopped. Zora, along with many others, had been on the receiving end of his and his Ra-Seru's wrath. Of course, it had been in self-defense, and it wasn't like Vahn and Noa had hesitated either, but that didn't change the fact that he had killed people. It was true they'd been horrible, evil people, people responsible for the creation of the Mist in the first place, but still. They had been people. Zeto, Dohati, Jette, the Delilas siblings... They'd all been finished off by Gala and his companions in one way or another. As for Zora, she had been barely standing when Songi had killed her. She wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway.
"You did her a favor," Gala said, completely truthfully. Songi didn't seem persuaded.
"What about that old man, then? Gaza... If it weren't for me-"
"Gaza was full of hatred and sorrow because of all he'd gone through," Gala said. Besides, we were the ones who attacked him first, not you. "It took his own demise to realize what he'd done."
Gala tried to keep his voice cold and toneless, not to show too much emotion. Not only did he hate the idea of letting his guard down in front of Songi of all people, especially since he'd done that more than enough already, but he didn't want his own emotions to influence the older man. It had been a mistake to even come into this room to begin with, but now that he had, Gala was determined not to make things any worse between them.
"And what about all those from the monastery who died and suffered because of me?" Songi asked. His almost silently seemed to add, 'Just try making an excuse for that one, Gala.' Gala couldn't, of course. Or, not a very good one, at least.
"Did you..." Gala swallowed, willing himself not to drop his gaze. "When you attacked the Monastery, did you... know what you were doing?"
He'd expected Songi to get angry at this question as well, but oddly enough he didn't. He only sighed, then grimaced as the pouring rain grew still heavier.
"No," he said shortly. "I mean, I did, but I... It's so hard to explain."
He spoke over Gala's shoulder rather than directly to his face. When had he begun to find it so hard to look into his eyes? Was it a shame-thing, or did he just find him that detestable?
"I couldn't feel anything human," he continued. "I couldn't even try. Before I put on that... thing, I wanted to beat you. I wanted to beat you so bad that you'd never walk again. And I wanted those kids gone too, just because I thought they might get in my way. But I never wanted to... kill anyone. I just..."
He broke off and looked over to the window again. Gala didn't know what to say. Again, he was comforted by Songi's humanity, and the sincerity of his words. He knew he'd accused Songi not too long ago of possibly trying to manipulate him, but that had been more a matter of caution than anything. Whatever else, Gala was sure Songi's words here were completely honest, just as they had been under the arch not so long ago.
Across from him, Songi still spoke, as though it was the only thing keeping him sane. There was a definite self-justifying edge in his voice that Gala wasn't surprised to hear, but more than anything was the sheer amount of loathing for himself. Undoubtedly a lot of people would hate themselves after doing the kinds of things he had, but somehow, Gala had never been able to picture Songi hating himself.
"I wanted a Ra-Seru the moment I found out what they were," Songi said. "And as soon as those kids told their story, I remembered that thing we found in the West Voz Forest all those years ago. You know, that dark egg." He gave a small, reflective smile at these last words as Gala thought.
Yes, he remembered that occasion all too well. He'd been about thirteen, and Songi fourteen. They'd been exploring one of the forests outside the monastery - or rather, Songi had convinced Gala to go exploring with him. It hadn't been the first time they'd been out, nor had they never been caught out before, or never been punished for it.
That hadn't bothered Songi though. He'd been quite a spoiled, self-entitled brat as a kid in many ways, even though he'd been a much nicer person overall. Maybe Gala thought this because he'd rarely experienced his brattiness first-hand. Usually it'd been poor Maya or Master Zopu who'd had to deal with it. "Aw, come on! Just let me eat a little more!" "Why do we have to get up so early? It's not even light out!" "My dad let me stay up as long as I wanted." "Aw, please? There aren't Seru outside all the time! Let me just go outside for a few minutes!" The older members of the monastery had been saints for dealing with him sometimes. Not that Gala had been completely free of Songi's nagging though. "Gala, come on! Come out with me! We won't get caught if we're only out there for a little bit! Please?" It hadn't usually taken Gala long to give in, although that might just have been because he'd hated being cooped up inside all the time as well, especially in earlier years before he'd begun to completely devote himself to the Biron religion.
On the occasion Songi was referring to, the two of them had gone out further than they ever had before. Admittedly, this had only been because they'd gotten lost inside the western forest and taken a long time to find their way back out again, but the beautiful, greenish Genesis Tree in the middle of that clearing had still been a shocking find. Even unawakened and unbloomed, the tree had still been dazzling. There'd been a large area around the tree of several meters where the Mist was kept at bay too, which had probably ended up saving their lives.
Gala remembered that he'd been scolding Songi - yelling at him, really - for getting them into this mess. Songi had been sulking the way he usually did when Gala or anyone disagreed with him. "I'm having a lot of fun killing these filthy abominations, Gala," Songi had said, clearly trying to hide his annoyance. "You should be too, after what they did to our families. Besides, these stupid things are no match for us."
He'd mostly been right. At that stage, the two of them, particularly Songi, who'd been stronger than him then, had done a decent enough job at defending themselves whenever Seru or other monsters attacked them. That was, as long as they weren't surrounded in too huge of numbers. That had rarely happened to them on such outings, and whenever it had, even Songi had been smart enough to run. But the risk had still been there. Looking back, it was a miracle neither of them had been possessed or killed while exploring the forests. Many others from the monastery, much older and stronger than their child selves, had been over the years while looking for food.
Once they'd stopped arguing long enough to begin making plans, Songi had suggested staying at the tree until it got a little less dark, then making their way back in daylight. It would mean getting found out, probably, but it wasn't like it would be the first time. Besides, it was better than dying. Reluctantly, Gala had agreed, and the two had spent a very cold, uncomfortable couple of hours huddled on either side of the tree while they waited for the sun to rise.
They hadn't talked at all, and as soon as dawn had begun to break, Gala had jumped to his feet and said curtly, "All right, let's go." Songi had stopped him though. Not with a snappish retort or a whiny plea to wait another couple of minutes, but with a low, awed whisper. "Gala, get over here. You have to see this..." And Gala, curious despite himself, had gone over to Songi's side of the tree. There, he'd seen a perfectly round, pitch-black object half-sticking out of the ground, almost like some half-grown plant. "I just noticed it now. It was too dark to see before," Songi had said, still barely above a whisper. "What do you think it is?"
What it had been, Gala knew now, was a Ra-Seru egg: The Ra-Seru Jedo, to be exact, the one Cort had infused with his evil technology to make the Sim Ra-Seru that had possessed and controlled Songi for so long. Back then though, they'd had no idea. For some reason likely related to their ignorant youth, they'd tried to move it, to take it back with them, but it had refused to budge from its place. Finally, they'd given up and returned to the monastery, where they'd gotten a record chewing-out from both Zopu and Maya, and been confined to their sleeping quarters and denied meals for a full three days.
Even Songi had backed off a bit after that - not much, but it had been something. His empty stomach and lingering annoyance at Songi had mostly driven the thoughts of the mysterious object out of Gala's head. He hadn't thought about it for a very long time. Even after he'd made the connection that the thing must've been a Seru of some kind, he'd just thought it was an ordinary Seru, until Songi had told him otherwise in the Seru-kai. With everything else that had been going on, it hadn't really seemed that important.
"How could you be sure it was safe?" Gala asked after a moment.
Stupid question, he realized a second too late. If Songi had been sure it had been safe, none of this would've happened.
"I didn't care. I just wanted one," Songi said, eyes still on the window. "And you don't have to tell me I was stupid," he added testily before Gala could say anything. "I know I was."
"Was?" Gala repeated, attempting to inject some humor into his voice but failing.
Songi didn't smile back. Instead he closed his eyes again, reminiscently.
"When I got to the Genesis Tree, the Ra-Seru egg wasn't there." He gave a twisted sort of smile. "And I... I lost it. I was convinced you'd taken it, gone behind my back and stolen it while we were all sleeping or something. I ditched the monks I was with and started heading for the other forest to track you down. But then I met him."
"Him?"
"Cort," Songi said, eyes still closed.
Gala started. He'd had no idea Songi had met Cort back then. He'd assumed he'd met Zeto or another low-ranking person. Why Cort had been wandering around a forest near the monastery was anyone's guess. Maybe he'd known or learned about the Ra-Seru and gone to look for it. That would make sense. Or maybe he'd been looking to eliminate Vahn and Noa himself, before they became too much of a threat. Or maybe he'd just been looking around for fun. Gala didn't know much about Cort, and he hadn't learned much about him during his brief meetings with him. But he did know he'd been ruthless, willing to kill his own parents and sister. He'd been an arrogant genius, admired by all and put under a lot of pressure. To some extent, he'd probably been manipulated too, but regardless, Gala didn't have much sympathy for him. The baby Noa had now was technically Cort as well, but with any luck, it would turn out nothing like him. If it did... Well, things wouldn't be fun at all.
The main point was that Gala could easily picture Cort doing something nonsensical like wandering around in a Mist-infested forest, just for the fun or experience of it. He'd been outright sadistic when Vahn, Noa and Gala had encountered him in Jette's fortress. And Songi... Songi was extremely arrogant as well. If he and Cort had met, what, exactly, had happened between them? Had Songi agreed to join him the moment Cort had promised him enough power to defeat Gala, or had it gone less smoothly?
"Songi..." Gala began. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a fork of lightning rush across the window and was secretly grateful he wasn't outside. Songi opened his eyes and looked at him. He didn't look angry or suspicious. He just looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept in weeks.
"Songi," Gala said again, "what happened? With you and Cort, I mean? How did he convince you to join him? How..." How could you, Songi? I thought you were smarter than that.
Gala didn't say this last part out loud, but judging from the knowing but tired smirk Songi gave him, he hadn't needed to.
"It's not like I just keeled over and agreed to be his slave," Songi said defensively. "It wasn't an amicable meeting at all."
His smile disappeared suddenly, and he tightened his jaw as, for the first time in several months, he forced himself to relive his first encounter with Cort.
Yup, the next chapter is going to be a flashback. Bet you're getting sick of those! :D Of course, we don't know how things went with Songi getting his Sim Ra-Seru in the game. He could've found it himself, then been confronted by Cort or one of his followers. It's a shame we never learn what happened, but at least it gives me a lot of freedom in the next chapter. ^^