** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1
Franken-Ollie Strikes again 3/3
"Honestly Mr Tucker you make it so much easier to understand than Mum does I ask her about these things but I never understand her answers." Emily cooed smiling as Malcolm turned away for a second to glance at Nicola on the other side of the room and taking the opportunity to stealthily drop the plastic spider into the oversized collar of his cape.
"Yeah well your Mum doesn't know what's going on half times Emma." Malcolm replied the way he never seemed to get any of their names right when he spoke to them only further strengthening Emily's determination to help her mother embarrass Malcolm as much as possible in the coming couple of hours. "Next time you have something to do for school you call me don't bother asking her. Are your brother and sisters here? I thought I saw the girls but where's Tom…"
"Toby." Emily interrupted "He's at a friend's tonight for a sleep over so you just get us. I promised Mum I'd help with the apple ducking she's doing pin the tail on the witches cat. You should go over and have a go Mr Tucker she told me you'd not do any of the games because you were no fun and you'd not be able to do them properly anyway but I'm sure you could beat anyone."
"She said what?" Malcolm snapped glaring at the other side of the room where Nicola was sticking a large poster of a tailless cat on the white board that they usually used to work out how to cope with their latest disaster.
"She said you'd never be able to do it but I think you could do anything you put your mind to Mr Tucker." Emily replied resisting the urge to laugh as Malcolm muttered about how he'd fuckin show Nicola fuckin Murray what he could do and stormed off in the direction of her mother. Waiting until he had reached the other side of the room she looked around the room singling out Scott Rodgers and making a bee line for him to put the next part of their plan into action.
"Oi Elvira give me a go at this fuckin game of yours." Malcolm shouted nudging his way through the handful of kids that had gathered around Nicola and staring down at her as she resisted the urge to smile.
"Malcolm watch your language and why would you want to play a silly kids game there's a queue of kids here ready to play you can't just barge in what sort of example is that setting them you…."
"I can fu… I can do it and I am doing it just you watch how well I can do this sort of thing."
"Fine put this blindfold on." Nicola replied smiling as she heard him mutter under his breath how he'd show her how much fuckin fun he could be before standing in front of her his eyes covered waiting for further instructions. "Now take this tail I'm going to spin you round three times then you have to get it as close to the place where a cat's tail is as possible sort of like pin the tail on the donkey from when you were a kid but Halloween themed."
Carefully turning Malcolm three times Nicola winked at the kids standing behind him before positioning him just far enough to the left of the poster to ensure that he had no hope of getting the tail anywhere near where it should be on the cat. Waiting a beat till he had positioned it close to the cat's nose she told him he could take his blindfold off again.
"Aw that was a good try Malcolm, wasn't it kids, now where did I put the pen."
"What do you mean where did you put the pen." Malcolm snapped clearly furious that he had done so badly and pushing her hand away as she went to write his name by the place he had put the tail. "No you don't I want another turn you didn't explain it properly or you turned me wrong or something that was only a practice. Frankenstein get your ass over here!"
"What are you doing Malc these games are supposed to be for the kids?" Ollie sighed as he approached and caught the warning edge to Nicola's gaze realising immediately that she was up to something and if he had any hope of getting out of her bad books by that night he better get on board and do it quickly.
"Never mind that she's cheating I want you to wait till I put this fuckin blindfold back on and turn me three times, do a better job of it than madam incompetence there." Malcolm replied putting the blindfold back on and waiting till Nicola handed him the tail again. Realising immediately what was going on Ollie did and he was told turning the foul mouthed Scot around three times and this time positioning him right in the centre of the poster smiling to himself as Nicola took advantage of the fact her hands were free to move the poster a fraction lower and further to the right on the board.
"Mt Tucker you're really not good at this game." A small blond girl Ollie immediately recognised as the granddaughter of the home secretary said as Malcolm missed his target again this time pinning the tail on the cat's shoulder.
"Sorry Malcolm but two goes is enough for anyone maybe you'll have better luck with the apple bobbing." Nicola smiled as he took his blind fold off and growled with frustration before storming in the direction of the child who'd spoken bending down about to make some comment about her criticism when she let out a blood curdling scream.
"Get it away…it's huge…..I hate spiders…" The child screamed, the split second on confusion that crossed Malcolm's face before he realised that she was pointing directly at him or rather at his collar, giving Nicola the time she needed to move to his side.
"Malcolm don't move where the hell did that come from?" She said with exaggerated horror as she motioned to Ollie to come closer seeing him smile as he immediately noticed that the spider was in fact plastic.
"What is it? get it the fuck away from me!" Malcolm shouted fumbling with the string holding his cape in place before letting it drop on the floor and all but running far enough away to allow Ollie to reach down and lift the offending toy while the rest of the room stopped and stared.
"Relax Malc it's plastic, it must have fallen off one of the decorations or something. Jesus you're not afraid of spiders are you?" He laughed as a fresh ripple of giggles erupted around the room and Malcolm turned a very bright shade of red.
"Of course I'm fucking not I didn't know what it was and that brat screaming all over the show was enough to…. Fuckin forget about it give me my cape I need a drink." Malcolm shouted grabbing the black and red satin from the floor before storming off in the direction of the refreshment table.
"You're up to something, you put that spider in there and you made sure he was shite at that game." Ollie whispered once they were alone other than the small group of children now taking turns at the pin the tail game.
"I'm making sure he knows not to leave us in this fucking situation again." Nicola whispered smiling at the brief moment of fear she saw flash across Ollie's eyes. She knew that he knew when she put her mind to revenge it was never pretty and he clearly was wondering what else lay in store of Malcolm before the evening was done. "Just go along with anything you see happening and if you give him even a hint this is all a set up I swear I'll follow through with my threat from earlier understood?"
"Understood!" Ollie replied about to continue with his questioning when they heard a chorus of riotous laughter coming from the other side of the room and he cringed slightly before turning around. By the refreshment table, where Malcolm head gone to hide, his niece Sophie was standing holding out a bag of sweets that Malcolm had clearly got into right away now he was staring at the children laughing at him completely oblivious to the source of their laughter. "What the hell."
"Oh she's a good girl your Sophie I told Emily she'd help if need be." Nicola smiled trying to look at innocent as possible as Malcolm turned to the reflective surface of the conference room window and they heard a string of expletives follow his view of his own reflection. "Blood candy, turns your teeth and your tongue bright red" I left them on the table Emily and Sophie obviously decided not to take any chances when it came to make sure he ate them."
"He's going to kill you if he finds out your behind all this you do realise that don't you?" Ollie laughed, the playful shrug Nicola gave as she turned back to supervising the game making his worry for her safety since she clearly wasn't done with Malcolm yet.
"Mr Tucker it's fine a friend gave me some of those last week and it wears off after you've cleaned your teeth a couple of times, how did "pin the tail on the cat" go?" Emily smiled still keeping up her doe eyed admiration act she handed Malcolm a tissue to giving her mother a covert smile as he wiped away the red staining on his lips.
"Your fuckin Ma cheats. Now the whole fuckin room thinks I can't even play a fuckin kids game and you know they're going to go running to their fuckin waste of space parents or grandparent s and it'll be all over the house of commons by tomorrow morning, where's the fuckin apple ducking Elizabeth I'll show them all I can do party games as well as the next fuckin man." Malcolm growled the tone of his voice telling Emily that their plan was working to perfection. Now it was her turn to bring it home, she'd got the spider easily and it had worked a treat now she needed to do as good a job of making sure he failed as her mother had and she was sure he'd be running out the door as quickly as possible and never suggest a party of any sort in that department again.
"It's over here Mr Tucker I'm supervising it I'll make sure that there's no cheating we can't have you being shown up can we." She smiled forcing back the laugh that was bubbling in her throat as he told her she was a great kid and he had no idea how someone so much of a waste of space as Nicola had managed to produce her. "Right guys form a line and we'll get started Mr Tucker is going to show you all how it's done first."
"Aye I am, I was champion apple ducker in my family you all just watch and learn." Malcolm agreed so wrapped up in the new hero worship from oldest Murray child that he failed to notice the fact that the rest of the room, including Nicola and Ollie, had stopped what they were doing and were focused on the centre of the floor where the large basin of water sat filled with red apples.
"Time for the grand finale." Nicola whispered briefly brushing her fingers against Ollie's as they stood back watching the events unfold.
"You ready?" Emily whispered her voice so low only Scott Rodgers could hear her as he smiled and nodded gathering a few of the other kids around him and waiting until Malcolm leaned in to make his first attempt at reaching the apples. Giving him a second to become engrossed in his mission he nodded to the two boys closest to him and the three of them started what appeared to be a perfectly normal argument over the relative scoring skills of various footballs before a tall boy announced that Scott was full of shit before shoving him in the direction of Malcolm where the boy made sure he landed squarely on the floor by Malcolm's feet shoving him from behind so that he ended up head first in the basin of water flailing around trying to regain his balance as water sloshed messily over the floor.
"What the fuck!" Malcolm shouted when he finally managed to straighten up and the kids had all dispersed leaving him with no clue as to which of them had caused him to go for an unexpected swim in the basin. "How did that? Which one of your brats …"
"Malcolm tone it down for fuck sake." Ollie shouted from the other side of the room holding his breath as Malcolm snatched the towel that Emily held out for him before storming toward Nicola.
"Wind this fucking up, get these noisy fucking half breeds out of here and back to their fuckin owners and then get this office back to normal. This is the last fuckin time I trust you with a fuckin party you couldn't organise a piss up in a fuckin brewery!" He shouted in an angry whisper before storming off in the direction of the lift leaving the party clearly having no intention of coming back.
"Nice work Emily!" Nicola smiled as she joined her daughter in the centre of the room and Ollie stared at them both in amazement.
"You two are unbelievable." He said quietly watching as Emily shrugged before leaving them alone and crossing the room to where her sisters were overdosing on sugar at the refreshment table. "If he ever finds out I told you about how this came about and that you were behind all these things he'll go ape."
"We'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen then won't we Franken-Ollie." Nicola laughed walking away as she felt his eyes on her back and the grudging admiration in his gaze. He may have screwed up by letting slip the facts that had led to her carefully planned if hastily thrown together revenge, but ultimately she and Emily had pull off a master stroke of payback and she was sure that next time he felt like betting on her competence Malcolm would think twice.