Sakura slumped on the ground with her back against a tree stump. The rest of the tree was lying on the ground beside her. Her legs were drawn up in front of her; her arms lay atop her knees and her forehead atop her arms. Sakura was crying.
The kunoichi tried to desperately dam the self-pity that was threatening to flood her. In the few hours since her argument with Team 7, Sakura had fully exhausted her anger, and herself. The felled tree beside her bore the marks of a heavy beating: scratches, splinters, and gouges covered its trunk and branches. But now her exhaustion made her vulnerable to the thoughts and emotions that her attack on the tree had allowed her to avoid.
Sakura's crying subsided as she calmed down and thought about what had taken place merely a couple hours ago on the training ground. Naruto's face was what came to mind first. She felt a stab of regret when she thought of how she had made her friend so upset; that certainly hadn't been her intention. None of it had been her intention, really – all those words had just spilled out of her mouth like angry vomit. But it was their fault. Wasn't it?
The kunoichi sighed. She wiped her face, trying to smudge away the tear tracks she knew striped her cheeks. She was glad she was out alone in the woods on the outskirts of the village; it wouldn't do for one of her friends to stumble upon her in this state.
But with that thought, an awful loneliness crept up upon her. She wondered what Team 7 – the rest of Team 7, she reminded herself – was doing while she was out here by herself. Probably the exact same thing they always did, she thought forlornly. Training. Without her.
Sakura had always trained alone, or at least she felt like she did. She hadn't needed her teammates' help – and she didn't need them now, she told herself. The kunoichi's brow furrowed as a new thought arrived: if they weren't helping her, were they, in fact, a hindrance?
Sakura leaned her head against the tree trunk and thought. If she didn't spend all her time at the training ground with Team 7, she could spend more time learning from Tsunade…maybe she could even start working at the hospital.
The kunoichi started as she felt a drop of water on her face. A teardrop? No – a raindrop. She glanced up and saw an extremely light rain falling, so light it was almost a mist. She considered going to back to Konoha to find shelter, but decided she wasn't ready to return to crowded streets yet. Besides, the rain was so light it was barely rain at all.
When Sasuke and Naruto make jounin, she mused, what would happen to her? Would she continue training with Kakashi? Probably not. Would she become Tsunade's student full-time?
Really, did Team 7 need her at all? Had they ever needed her? Scenes from the past few years drifted through her mind: Sasuke returning to Konoha with skills surpassing Naruto's; Naruto working his ass off to catch up; both of them passing the chuunin exams less than a year after Sasuke's return, with Sakura cheering them on from the sidelines. No, Sakura answered herself, and fought down tears that nearly erupted instantaneously. No, they didn't need her.
She took a slow, shaky breath, and steeled herself. Sasuke and Naruto becoming jounin would mean the end of Team 7. There was nothing for it, then: she would go her way, and they would go theirs.
Sakura arrived back at the training ground as the late afternoon sky was beginning to darken. She watched Naruto and Sasuke doing push-ups half-heartedly while Kakashi reclined against a tree. He was neither supervising his students nor reading his orange book, but staring off into space. Sakura wondered if they were acting strangely because of her outburst, or if they thought it had been only a passing rage.
She didn't bother to mask her chakra, so of course they all noticed her immediately. The two chuunin stopped their training and stood up; all three of them watched as she approached. The light rain had continued, and Sakura hoped that it masked the tear tracks on her face that she had tried to wipe away during her walk to the training ground.
She looked at the three men, schooling her face to be serious, but not gravely serious. "We need to talk." None of them moved, but continued watching her expectantly.
"No," she said, slightly exasperated. "I mean really. We need to talk. Sit down." All three waited a beat. Then, to Sakura's surprise, Sasuke was the first to follow her order and take a seat on the ground. She and the others followed suit, forming a small circle. Sakura looked at the ground for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
"First of all," she began. "Sasuke and Naruto, congratulations." She gave them a small smile. "You guys deserve the jounin title more than anyone in Konoha. But…once you do become jounin…"
"If." Sasuke interrupted, watching her seriously. "If we become jounin."
"No," she disagreed gently. "I know you guys will pass." As she said it, Sakura wondered briefly what would happen if they in fact didn't pass – they'd be back to a team of three. But it would just be more of the same, she thought bitterly. She'd made her decision; she just had to follow it through. She took a deep breath.
"Obviously, I can't help you guys with training at all," she inadvertently flicked a look at Kakashi, who watched as passively as ever. "There's no reason why we should keep this up."
"What are you saying?" Sasuke said, his voice tinged with suspicion.
"Look. You two are getting along fine – you're getting along amazingly – without any help from me. Maybe it's time that I became Tsunade-sensei's student full-time."
Sakura hadn't known what reaction to expect from her teammates to this declaration, but she certainly hadn't expected this. Well, Naruto's was to be expected: he sprang to his feet and began to yell out something that Sakura didn't really hear. She was too busy drinking in Sasuke's expression.
His eyes were wide open, and even his mouth was slightly agape. On any other person it would be an expression of mild shock, but on Sasuke it looked like he'd been run over by a rhino. Sakura tried to ignore the thoughts that popcorned at the sight of his expression – why did he react so strongly? Did he care that she was leaving? Did he care more about her than he let on? Stop. Focus.
She tore her eyes away from him and noticed Kakashi's eye had widened as well, albeit less than those of his students. He looked surprised and concerned, another reaction that surprised Sakura slightly, then made her feel guilty for feeling surprised at all.
She interrupted Naruto, who was ranting about Tsunade teaching her tricks with make-up. "Naruto," she interrupted gently. "Sit down. Let me explain."
He reluctantly slumped back down to the ground, closing his mouth with obvious effort. Sakura steeled herself to finish what she started.
"I'm holding you guys back," she said firmly. Naruto opened his mouth to renew his objections, but she continued before he could let out a sound. "Also, I feel like if I don't take advantage of my skills as a medic-nin, I won't fulfill my full potential as a kunoichi.
"You guys have always had a different path from me; I've had to accept that. Now you need to accept that too." Both Naruto and Sasuke looked alarmed. Naruto's expression was far more pronounced, but she could read Sasuke's just as easily.
Kakashi spoke, his tone low and serious. "Do you really want this, Sakura?"
She looked at him. "I need to do this, sensei." This time the title was not sarcastic, but soft and slightly sorrowful.
Kakashi looked sober and preoccupied; Naruto was on the verge of tears; Sasuke had his appearance under control again, except for a gleam of worry in his eyes; and Sakura allowed her sadness to show, but not her tears, which seemed endless today. She rose.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. And she turned for home.