A/N: I just wanted to say thank you so much for the overwhelming response I have had to this story. A special thanks to my friend Jamie for correcting my errors. Also a big thanks to Kasiekk26 and SWCHika who have been sending me lots of encouraging PM's so thanks for that it inspires me to keep writing.

Chapter 4 – Nerves

Alex pounded on the Shepherd's front door at 6.00am. He was going to Jo's for dinner that night and was in a slight panic.

"Karev, you do know it's 6.00am." Derek said sleepily.

"Yeah, yeah is Mer here I really need to speak to her." Alex said letting himself in.

"Sure come on in. Nothing has really changed from the Frat house you guys had 10 years ago." Derek mumbled to himself as Alex walked straight past Derek.

"Alex what is it?" Meredith asked quite concerned.

"What was Bailey into a year ago?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know toy wise."

"Oh, well pretty much the same as now, dinosaurs, cars, Lego. Oh, and he did have a big fad for a while on the movie Shrek whatever number they are up too. You want to buy Thomas a present?"

"Yeah and I want to get it right. I don't want to give him something half assed that he won't like, or worse still he isn't interested in."

Derek stood in the kitchen, making Zola's lunch for school, totally amazed at the short hand in which Alex, Christina, and his wife communicated. They knew each other so well it never ceased to amaze him.

"You could ask Jo?

"No! That would show her that I know nothing. She already thinks that."

"But Alex you don't know him." Meredith said as kindly as she could.

"I know Mer, but I just don't want to look like an idiot."

"You won't. Let's just think about this. We can work it out. You can never go wrong with Play Doh. All kids love that." Meredith said, touching Alex lightly on the arm.

Derek, still making sandwiches for Zola's lunch asks "Karev you are the Head of Ped's? Right? Doesn't that mean that you should know the kind of things three year olds like?"

"Derek keep out of it." Meredith chastised.

"No Mer, he is right. I should know, but I am too busy these days to get to know the kids like I used too. I spend far too much time just treating them and not getting to know 'em."

"Don't beat yourself up. Whatever you pick will be great." Meredith said always cheering him on from the sidelines.

"Okay thanks Mer. Sorry to bother you so early see you later." Alex said as he turned to leave.

"I want details later." Meredith called after him as he just waved his hand in the air and walked out.

Now Alex had to drive home before going to the mall when it opened. He was going into work late and leaving early today. He had taken Arizona up on her offer of a part day off so he could calm himself down before tonight. Tonight was going to be the beginning of his relationship with his son. He desperately wanted it to go well. Perhaps tonight was also the time to give Jo the chance to explain. He couldn't avoid it forever, as painful as he knew it would be reliving all of those details.

Alex walked around Toys R Us for what felt like hours. He would pick something up and then put it back, then pick it up again. Each time a sales assistant offered help he said he was fine "Just looking." Alex had never felt so useless in all his life. How fucking hard can this be!

In the end he chose a dinosaur soft toy, some Play Doh, and a series of children's books. The one thing he did know was that Jo read Thomas a story every night. If only all kids were so lucky.

Jo had finished work early, picked Thomas up from day care, and was currently deciding on what to cook for dinner. She knew Alex's favourite food was Lasagne and salad. Both she and Thomas liked that too so Jo felt it was an easy dish to make that would work. God she was nervous. Jo had never been a religious person of any type but whoever was up there watching over them she prayed that tonight would go well.

6.00pm on the dot, the door bell rang. Both Alex and Jo had butterflies in their stomachs but Jo slapped on a happy face and smoothed down her hair before opening the door.

"Hi" Jo said lightly. Alex's sexy masculinity never lost its effect on her but she had to squash that down. Tonight was all about Alex getting to know Thomas.

"Hi" He replied. Damn her for still being so beautiful.

"Please come in."

Alex walked inside and noticed the small but nicely decorated apartment. He then saw Thomas sitting on the floor with his colouring in book, having not yet quite learnt how to hold the pencils. Thomas looked up and a big smile appeared on his face.

" Dock-or Alex." Thomas said as he got up and ran over to him and threw his arms around his waist.

"Hi Thomas. How ya feelin'?" Alex asked as he picked Thomas up and returned his hug.

"Good, thanksss."

"I have something here for you, I hope you like it." Alex said as he handed the presents he had bought earlier in the day.

"Oh cool thanksss." Thomas said taking the gifts off him and ripping the paper.

Jo offered Alex a drink and went into the kitchen and let the two males in her life hang out together.

"I love dinosaurs Dock-or Alex."

"Hey how about you just call me Alex. Your mommy and I are friends and I will probably visit you again so you don't need to call me Doctor."

"Mmm okay."

"So you love dinosaurs, huh?

"Yep I love all an-mals. I want be a an-mal Dock-or when I grow up."

"Is that right? You want to be a vet."

"Yep. I want a dog but I'm not allowed cos of my ass-ma."

"Well hopefully you will grow out of that when you get older and you might be able to get a dog then." Alex said reasonably.

Jo left them alone as long as she could before dinner was ready. It amazed her how easily Thomas had taken to Alex. He was a relative shy kid but for some reason he was comfortable with Alex. Just like religion, Jo wasn't a big believer but maybe Tommy knew that Alex was different from other men he had met. Maybe he knew Alex was special and that he would never hurt him.

Alex had scooped Thomas up into his arms and took him into the kitchen so they could have dinner. Tommy still liked to sit in his high chair so he was at the same eye level as his mother. Alex easily put him into it and then the three of them sat down and had their first meal together as a family. She remembered my favourite meal. Then he looked over at Thomas and watched as he shovelled his lasagne in his mouth. Alex was trying hard not to laugh. He certainly gets that from me!

"Slow down baby, it isn't going anywhere." Jo said to Thomas.

"I love 'sa-na." Thomas said to clarify things for Alex.

"Me too, Tommy, and I know your mom makes the best lasagne."

Jo smiled at the compliment as the three of them feel into easy conversation.

After dinner, Jo asked Alex if he would like to give Tommy a bath while she cleaned up. To say he was surprised was an understatement.

"Are...Are you sure?"

"If you can't trust a Paediatric surgeon to bathe a kid, who can you trust?" Jo said, trying desperately to make Alex feel as comfortable as possible.

"C'mon Alex I have soap, it's like paint."

"Well how can I resist that?"

Jo cleaned the kitchen and let herself breathe. It was all going to work out just fine. She was just tiding up the living room, putting Thomas' things away when they came back from bath time. Tommy had on his pyjamas and was beginning to yawn.

"Is it bed time, honey?" Jo asked.

"No. Story time."

Jo laughed and explained to Alex that Thomas has one story read to him on the sofa, then another one after he is tucked in for the night.

Alex just sat in amazement as Thomas picked up his one of the new books he had given him and Jo began to read him a story.

After the story was finished Thomas hopped off the sofa and went and climbed into Alex's lap, gave him a hug and kiss goodnight. Alex responded, only just though. He didn't know if it was because he was in awe of his son or in shock at how easy tonight was or that he somehow felt that there was no need to be scared about a future without his son in it anymore.

Jo appeared ten minutes later and sat down next to Alex on the sofa.

"You are an amazing mother Jo. He is just...I haven't got the words."

"Thank you. I was determined to give him everything we never had."

"Well I think it is safe to say you achieved that."

"Tonight has been really special Alex and I don't want to ruin it or push you. So when you are ready to hear me out, let me tell you just what happened four years ago, just let me know."

"You are right, tonight was something I thought only existed for other people like Mer and Derek, and whatever it is that made you leave me, won't take away the pain. But it might help me get the answers I have wanted for all that time."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, I got nowhere I need to be. So if you want to talk, I'm ready to listen."

A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! Next Chapter is called confessions and you will find out just why Jo left! Reviews are really appreciated!